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bye felipe

9 Most Ridiculous Messages Women Have Received On Dating Apps (For Real)

November 13, 2014/in CMB Says /by Guest Blogger

Here at CMB, we wish we could filter out all the jerks who treat women on dating apps like their personal slaves, but unfortunately, there’s no real way to do that. Bye Felipe is an Instagram account started by a woman named Alexandra Tweten that collects screen shots of the most ridiculous messages girls have received from guys, both on dating apps and via text message. They are hilarious, sad, terrifying, pathetic and unfortunately, very real. Here are 9 of our favorites. Unbelievable, aren’t they? #ByeFelipe
Do you have any screenshots of  horror messages you received on dating apps/text msg? Share them with us by  tweeting to @coffeeMbagel, DMing us on instagram (@coffeeMBagel) or sending us a good old plain email at [email protected]. We will compile them and share with all of our members!

Well that escalated quickly… 

A photo posted by Bye Felipe ???? (@byefelipe) on Nov 11, 2014 at 7:54am PST

(note how long he had waited between the 2nd and 3rd message he sent — they never give up, do they?)

Something tells me this guy has some kind of sexual relationship with his dog. 

A photo posted by Bye Felipe ???? (@byefelipe) on Nov 11, 2014 at 12:22pm PST

(Does anyone else see the similarities to “down boy! down boy!” here?)

Um. This is terrifying.

A photo posted by Bye Felipe ???? (@byefelipe) on Nov 11, 2014 at 3:48pm PDT

 

WOAH, dude, calm calm the f*** down.

A photo posted by Bye Felipe ???? (@byefelipe) on Oct 10, 2014 at 9:49pm PDT

 

Oh baby, the way you throw around serious medical terms like they’re a joke is so sexy.

A photo posted by Bye Felipe ???? (@byefelipe) on Oct 10, 2014 at 11:15am PDT

 

Wait, but I thought she was the “most attractive” girl on the site? 

A photo posted by Bye Felipe ???? (@byefelipe) on Oct 10, 2014 at 8:44am PDT

 Make up your mind, bro.

Can someone tell me what’s not awesome about eating “chetoes” and watching Gossip Girl reruns?

A photo posted by Bye Felipe ???? (@byefelipe) on Oct 10, 2014 at 7:46am PDT

 

“First of all, who are you?” hahahahaha

A photo posted by Bye Felipe ???? (@byefelipe) on Oct 10, 2014 at 12:19pm PDT

Do you have any screenshots of  horror messages you received on dating apps/text msg? Share them with us by  tweeting to @coffeeMbagel, DMing us on instagram (@coffeeMBagel) or sending us a good old plain email at [email protected]. We will compile them and share with all of our members!


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Online Dating Statistics

Ladies, How Well Do You Actually Know Men?

November 6, 2014/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

A few weeks ago, we asked all you fine ladies to answer some questions about how you think men’s brains are working when it comes to dating, and the results are in! Take a look at what we found out; some of the results might even shock you. It turns out that guys are way more nervous about having something to talk about than what you look like on a first date, and a sense of humor is by far the most important quality in a partner to both men and women. Do you think you’re a dating pro? A man-mindreader? Check out what other ladies thought about these common first date signals below and see how you stack up against what the guys actually said, then let us know what you think!
reading dating signals
Curious as to what guys think of the signals you send them? Click here to see how well they really understand you.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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3 Ways To Get Your Crush To Message You Back

October 8, 2014/in Date Tips, For Her, For Him /by Guest Blogger

Often with online dating, we wait to message someone because we are hunting for the perfect opener. An hour goes by… then a day… then a couple more… and then, wait! Is it too late to message now? Cue the wallowing in self-pity and hail Mary message that reeks of panic and desperation.
Analysis paralysis is very real in online dating.
While there are highly-optimized and better message options than the “Hey” “Sup bb” and “how r u”s of the world (Refer to my CMB book or contact me for more detail, of course), there is never going to be a message or opener that will live up to the expectations that you are placing on it. It’s something I run into with my clients constantly – they want to intrigue, attract, charm, seduce, and stand out all in one first message to their intended paramours. This is natural, because we know that online dating is a numbers game to some extent, and you have to make the biggest impact you can in the shortest amount of time possible. But in reality, those messages end up being so twisted and contrived that they are tossed by the wayside and have a far lower success rate than you’d think. So how exactly should you write your first message, and what should you be aiming to do with it?
It’s simple. Dial back your expectations and don’t try to be Don Juan and Fabio rolled up into one message. Your first message has one singular purpose – to get a reply.
This falls squarely in the gray area between “Hi bb” and a novella with an intro, thesis, and conclusion. Whether you want to accomplish that by…:
(1) commenting on a common interest – Favorite Coachella performance? I can never get over Daft Punk in ’07.
(2) asking about a regional event – Did you brave that ramen festival over the weekend? Longest lines ever.
(3) relating a mini-story about how her dog reminds you of your own dog food – The first time I took my dog to the beach, he stayed in the water for 3 hours straight… are our dogs related?
… that’s up to you. But see how those 3 openers are pretty much as organic a way to begin a conversation as the medium allows, and  relatively short? Remember, people look for personal connections through online dating, just as they do in real life. Now that we’ve got our first message taken care of, click over to find out exactly how to message to ask her out!
Read more from Patrick at Patrick King Consulting, and check out his best-selling CMB-focused online dating book on Amazon.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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The Double Dot

September 28, 2014/in Date Tips /by Guest Blogger

 


dots
Ahh, the dot. Perhaps the most confusing of all the punctuation family’s brothers and sisters. Much has been written regarding the addition of the Period to the end of a text message. The freedom that’s arisen from the recent regression of grammar in statements, and the ability to create a fluid ongoing conversation in its absence. Add a Period to a statement, and a certain visual gravity can weigh down a thought, turning a lighthearted
Hmm that could work
into the more grave
Hmm that could work.
We have seen grammar in texting evolve to the point that our natural default is to use no grammar whatsoever, even to indicate pauses. So much do we fear a misinterpretation of intent or tone that the entire system of visual signaling has started to become omitted from our digital communication. And so as eloquently stated by Ben Crair in his brilliant article “The Period is Pissed,” when we come across a period in text messages one must ask themselves what in the blazes it’s doing in there. What does it mean? He interviewed Mark Liberman, a professor of linguistics at the University of Pennsylvania for the piece.
“In the world of texting and IMing … the default is to end just by stopping, with no punctuation mark at all,” Liberman wrote me. “In that situation, choosing to add a period also adds meaning because the reader(s) need to figure out why you did it. And what they infer, plausibly enough, is something like ‘This is final, this is the end of the discussion or at least the end of what I have to contribute to it.’”
The Period’s crazy cousin Ellipses has seen its fame reach new heights as its meaning has become so much greater than simply a dramatic pause. The Ellipses is now an accepted breath sometimes not once, not twice, not even thrice but in some cases up to five times per sentence. Its meaning has overtaken numerous other grammatical symbols previously known to have a purpose. In “What the …” Matthew J.X. Malady remarks that despite this evolution there is rarely confusion regarding the intent of the message composer:
“There were ellipses used in lieu of commas. Ellipses as question-mark replacements. In some instances, it was ellipses instead of a single period at the end of a statement, or 10 dots spanning two lines on my phone’s screen. What a mess! And yet at no point in reading the mom text or any of the others did I find myself confused as to what the message senders were attempting to communicate.”

And so as we find ourselves at the crossroads between three distinct paths- no grammar, an increasingly assertive/borderline aggressive Period, and an all-encompassing yet perhaps ultimately meaningless Ellipses, I want to pose a seemingly underrepresented dot pairing to you: What in the world are we to think of the more rare but no less potent DOUBLE DOT?

The Period as well as the Ellipses have distinct and intentional purposes in a sentence because they are created by distinct and intentional movements of the hand. You press a Period key once, bam. End of story. Hold that key down for a bit, and tada! Ellipses. But that Double Dot, that is an entirely different story. Somewhere in the land between an end and merely a pause lies a pair of dots whose meaning remains unclear as the physicality behind their creation can be either intentional or accidental. Sometimes the accident is so visually appealing it becomes the intent. Because of this ambiguity, the dot pairing itself creates an ambiguity that when left alone can be an end or conversely a beginning to a conversation. For a visual aid in understanding the perceived intent behind this bonanza of dots, regard the following.
10612571_10202039860152617_2633572064165518666_n
Interestingly, the more dots we add to this statement, the less assuring the response seems to be. Though this goes well into the spectacular Quadro-Dot set that in my own experience comes from those in a more meditative state, it’s possible to see how the Double appears almost as a stutter step. Did they really mean that that sounds ok? Do they even care about what I’m saying? Inna Komarovsky, an illustrator and Rhode Island School of Design alum, works with all things visual on a daily basis. Her conclusions regarding the Double Dot pairing is that it’s entirely possible they are creating an additional passive-aggressive approach by softening original intent: “I think some people try to soften the single dot by changing it into an ungrammatical comma, an ellipsis, an emoticon, or an m-dash. Maybe actually those are things I do to soften the single dot….”. Worth noting, Inna did end with a Quadro-Dot, which to me meant she had ruminated on this for a bit.
And so, should you receive this double dot, this potentially accidental or even passive-aggressive foray into grammar, my advice to you is this: If it’s something that is not a relationship killer, an ice cream flavor you’d like to pick up for example, let the Double D be and get whatever flavor you’d like. I always say that if someone doesn’t speak up, then I can eat whatever ice cream I’d like. If it’s more important, first of all probably don’t use texts to figure out an answer. But if you happen to be texting about say another person’s interest in you or someone else, dig further. And for crying out loud, use a Period.
If you liked this post, go check out The Simulacra, Simulation and the Pseudo-reality of Online Dating.


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//

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Funniest dating video

3 Funniest Dating Videos For Guys, Made by Guys

July 8, 2014/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Bronson Farr

1) NICE GUYS…Don’t Finish Last
A timeless video from KevJumba and Ryan Higa  on how nice guys actually don’t finish last.

2) How to Text Girls
Funny and actually somewhat helpful tips on how to text girls, from the guys at Simple Pickup.

3) When The Girl You Like Texts You First
This is how you look like.

Liked these videos? Check out more great videos at 3 Most Thought Provoking Video Clips on Love, Dating, & Being A Woman, by Amazing Women Producers!
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

Coffee Meets Bagel, Best Dating App

 

Gay men, gay, text, cute guys, decoding texts, his messages

This Gay Texting Guide Gives You the Low-Down

June 11, 2014/in For Him, LGBT Dating /by Guest Blogger

Online communication can be a cryptic labyrinth of hidden meanings at times. You can’t see the squinting eyes, the shrugging shoulders, or the nervous sweating—who knows if that tongue-sticking-out emoji is really sincere?
Gay singles have been just as lost as the rest of the world when it comes to decoding the truth behind those digital messages, but now it’s time to come out of the dark!
Here’s a somewhat-serious beginner’s guide to decoding the messages gay men are sending to figure out what they are really trying to say:

The First Message:

He Says:                                                                                         He means:

Grindr, gay, text, message, gay men, texting guide

He Says:                                                                                         He means:

Gay, text, bloods, crips, thug,

Compliments:

He Says:                                                                                         He means:
gay, text, cute guy, sharing photos, pictures, decoding texts, his messages
He Says:                                                                                         He means:
Gay, text, work out, fitness, decoding texts, his messages
He Says:                                                                                         He means:
beyoncé, beyonce, gay, text, funny, decoding texts, his messages

Questions:

He Asks:                                                                                         He means:
Gay, text, exes, ex-boyfriends, awkward, decoding texts, his messages He Asks:                                                                                         He means:
gay, text, sports, the game, bar, decoding texts, his messages
He Asks:                                                                                         He means:
 
Facebook, Facebook Stalking, Falking, gay, gay men, texts, messages, texting guide

Celebrity References:

He Says:                                                                                         He means:
Gay, text, yas gaga, yaaass, body glitter, fabulous, flamboyant, Lady Gaga, decoding texts, his messages
He Says:                                                                                         He means:
gay, text, anderson cooper, silver fox, decoding texts, his messages
He Says:                                                                                         He means:
gay, text, NPH, family, gay marriage, Neil Patrick Harris, David Burtka, decoding texts, his messages

The Next Step:

He Says:                                                                                         He means:
gay, text, dinner, candle light, wine, decoding texts, his messages
Ok, so maybe this guide is a little presumptuous—but if you follow it to the letter you’ll find that it’s right at least 15% of the time. Statistically speaking.
The fact is, even this self-appointed expert doesn’t have all the answers. You’re talking to a real, live, sincere (probably cute) human being, so keep on chatting away and get to really know them.
You’ll find the truth between the text messages.
Did you enjoy this post? Then make sure to check out 8 Body Confessions From Gay Single Men.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB):  CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

Coffee Meets Bagel, Best Dating App

Holly's Dating Tips: Should I Ask Out a Bagel Via Text Message?

November 30, 2013/in For Her /by Guest Blogger

Q: I’ve read a lot of advice that says I should wait until a Bagel actually calls to set up a date. We’ve texted for a few days, but haven’t exchanged numbers. He’s asked if I wanted to meet up via text, so should I say yes?

A: A lot of antiquated advice on the internet tells you to call when setting up a first date. Or that you shouldn’t accept a first date arranged via text. Don’t listen to this advice. It was published back when Lindsay Lohan still had a thriving cinematic career. I’m sure before that, people were advising you against accepting anything less than a handwritten invitation for a first date and that the new fangled telephone was ruining the courtship process.

Texting is fine. In fact, at Coffee Meets Bagel, we give your own private text line with the explicit hopes you will use it to arrange a coffee date. See? We make answering this question easy.

Why a text line, though? Because until after you meet and probably not until after you’ve met several times, your bagel is a stranger. And though we’re not inciting “stranger danger” (you already know to meet in a public place for coffee, not a darkened alleyway in the warehouse district), it is hard for our generation to gab on the phone with someone we don’t know. It’s a social norm these days to reserve phone calls for emergencies and social intimacy. We can mourn the loss of it as a form of communication, but ask yourself how many close friends you’ve actually dialed this week? I rest my case.

So relax. Use the chat line. Set up the date. When you meet in real life, have your first conversation face-to-face the way Lindsay Lohan intended.
——————————————
Want some more dating tips? Check out my previous post on how to meet new people this winter!

Five Texting Mistakes That I’ve Made and Don’t Want You to Make

November 26, 2013/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

Online dating can be tricky, especially when your first medium of communication is over messaging.  Here are some online dating tips for men and women on how not to screw up your chances at landing that first date.  Or if you’ve already made it to the first date, congratulations!  Now to safely text your way to the second.
1. Being too forward
It’s a  fact: Texting lacks the subtle nuances of face-to-face conversation.  Unfortunately this causes two major problems: 1) What you text is up to the receiver’s interpretation and 2) You can’t read what the other person is thinking.   It’s good to assert your feelings, but sometimes it can come off too strong over text, especially if you aren’t sure how the other person is feeling.  Your best bet is to keep things light and easy until you meet.

texting mistake, wtf autocorrect

No thanks bro


2. TMI
The concept of TMI, or “too much information” is very similar to that person who tweets about the  extremely ordinary oatmeal they’re eating for breakfast or posts on Facebook about the number of  snotty tears they’ve shed and ice cream cartons consumed in post-break up aftermath.  When I ask you what you did today, I don’t need to know EVERYTHING you did.  A little bit of mystery can add a lot.
tmi, texting mistake

Just No


3.  Statements vs. Questions
Conversation is a two way street.  Both parties need to give or take in order to keep things flowing naturally.  Not asking questions can make you seem self-absorbed, disinterested, or socially awkward at the worst.   For example, I like _____” not the best way to start a conversation.  At least add a “how about you?” to open it up to the other person.
4. One Word Answers
If you’re looking to kill a conversation look no further than one-word answers!  We use words like K, lol, yeah, or even the mundane yes or no when we have nothing better to say (Or when you’re not interested and trying to fade someone out).   But, if you’re actually interested, it’s better to keep these words at a minimum.  When you can’t think of anything else to say, try changing the subject or asking a question.
one word texts, texting mistake
5.  Not Replying… FOR DAYS
This one’s my favorite.  Yes, people are busy and can’t reply to texts, but after a few days it just starts getting ridiculous.  Imagine yourself in mid-conversation with a cute guy or girl, when suddenly they turn around and ignore you for the next two days or god knows when.  In a nut shell it feels something like this and that’s not fun.   So, if you’re a caring, kind-hearted person who doesn’t want the girl or guy you like to experience emotional anguish/psychotic thoughts you should reply to texts on time or at least within a day.
texting mistake, wtf autocorrect, not texting back

Um…what?


 
Are you guilty of these texting mistakes?  Make sure to check out our article on what it’s like waiting for a text!
 
 
 
 
 

Best Dating Apps and Tips: Guide for Women

Best Dating App Tips: Guide to Reading His Texts

September 23, 2013/in Date Stats, For Her /by CMB

Hey Bagels! We’ve just launched our own iPhone app! We think it might just be the best dating app ever. We’re very excited about it so we decided to do a series of articles revolving around mobile apps and cell phones in the dating world. Here are of our best free dating tips on moving from a text or dating app to the real world.
Have you ever gotten a text from a cute guy and wondered, “Where is this going? Does he ‘like’ like me or are we just friends?” Wonder no more!! Just follow our easy flowchart to discover the truth! Check it out and let us know what you think. Click on the image to expand.
Best Dating Apps and Tips: Guide for Women

So does he want it? Is he into it? Are you in the friendzone?! IS IT A BOOTY CALL? #nice. Let us know how it worked for you in the comments and check out the Guy’s version to reading her texts here.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Snapping an adorable dog

8 times when Snapchat is better than texting

September 23, 2013/in Funny & Videos /by CMB

Hey Bagels! We’ve just launched our own iPhone app! We think it might just be the best dating app ever. We’re very excited about it so we decided to do a series of articles revolving around mobile apps and cell phones in the dating world. We thought it would be nice to look at the notorious and loveable snapchat.
Snapchat, for those unfamiliar with the application, is a picture messaging app. Instead of typing out what you have to say, you just take a picture and write a short caption. After the person views the message, it magically deletes itself off of their phone. This makes it perfect for just about any situation. Here’s eight specific examples

1. When you think you’re in love.

Texting when in love Snapping love
So you think you love someone. Being the bold and fearless person that you are, you decide to text him about your feelings. If you write them a small novel, he’ll have to fall in love! It seems like a solid plan right? Wrong. How are you going to be sexy in the written word? Who do you think you are? Hemingway? Send a snapchat instead! Give him your seductive eyes!

2. When you’re drunk.

Texting while drunkSnapping While Drunk
It’s late and you’re drunk. On a scale from 1 to drunk? You’re very drunk. You think to yourself: “Steve sure is a cool kid. I should text him so we can party together.” Don’t do it. You’re not fit to stand, let alone text. Just send a snap! The poor light, blurry lines, and general mess should give him a pretty good idea of whats going on.

3. When you’re drunk and in love.

Texting while drunk and in loveimage(1)
It’s late, you’re drunk, and you’re in love. It’s the Bermuda Triangle of poor decisions. Everything in your gut is telling you to text your feelings to the girl of your dreams. So what if she already has a boyfriend? Your brain tells you that there’s no way that you’ll regret this in the morning. It’s wrong. So wrong. Don’t text her, snapchat her! Why? Because now when you wake up without any memory of it, there will be no proof! It’s one of those pics or it didn’t happen situations.

4. When you want to talk about your outfit.

Texting about outfitsLooking good in a snapchat
Damn! You’re looking fly in your fancy pants. Look at you and your snazzy suit. You’ve just pulled together all the keystones of your wardrobe into one fantastical outfit. Your number one bestie would be so impressed, so text her right? No. How are you going to convey pure beauty with a string of text? Emojis don’t count. No, you should snap her! Send a pic of your goodlooking self. Now’s a great time to work on your best mirror selfie.

5. When you are near an adorable dog.

Texting about a dogSnapping an adorable dog
Dogs are the greatest animal to have ever existed on earth. Fact. So what should you do if you find yourself next to a particularly beautiful puppy? If you’re a good person, you should probably share its beauty with others. By text? No. The kibble loving wonder will get lost in anything under a thousand words. So send a snap and send it to everyone in your contacts!

6. When you have impeccable drawing abilities.

Texting about artSnapchat-3734
Deep down, you know that despite your well-paying job and financial security, you missed your calling when you choose a business degree over a fine arts. Right? You just have that intuition for making things look pretty. The edges of your meeting notes are covered in scribbles, each worthy of the title “Art.” You’ve just drawn your best one yet! How do you tell your friends about it? With a text? No. With a snap! Snap them a picture of your artwork, or just doodle with the app’s own coloring tool. If anything lasts for more than 10 seconds, it’s not really art.

7. When ‘OMG look at this guy.’

Texting about a guy on the bus
You’re on the train alone and in comes a guy from the seventies. He’s got a fantastic tie-dye afro and shoes that elevate him to the roof. “OMG look at this guy!” you think to yourself. James would appreciate a good look at this guy. Should you text him and just describe the well-dressed train-goer? No. You should snap him! Make sure that your flash is off and then sneak a pic of the other rider.

8. When you need to express yourself on a deeper level.

Texting grumpilyFurious Snapchat
Sometimes your emotions can become too much for you to handle. Maybe a coworker made fun of your Sean Connery impersonation. Maybe Starbucks gave you soy when you wanted a skinny. Sometimes life is hard and you need a way to vent. Use your friends! But don’t text about your problems! Snap them! You’re already making an angry face, so use it!
Agree? Disagree? Have a great situation for Snapchatting? Let us know! If you are ever stuck between sending a text and snapchat, ask yourself something: Would the other person want to see a picture of me right now? The answer: Of course they would. You’re fabulous. Send that snap.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a dating app designed with women in mind. Founded by 3 sisters in 2012 in NYC, CMB aims to deliver a fun, safe, and quality dating experience that results in meaningful relationships.

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Google Analytics Cookies

These cookies collect information that is used either in aggregate form to help us understand how our website is being used or how effective our marketing campaigns are, or to help us customize our website and application for you in order to enhance your experience. If you do not want that we track your visist to our site you can disable tracking in your browser here:

Other external services

We also use different external services like Google Webfonts, Google Maps and external Video providers. Since these providers may collect personal data like your IP address we allow you to block them here. Please be aware that this might heavily reduce the functionality and appearance of our site. Changes will take effect once you reload the page.

Google Webfont Settings:

Google Map Settings:

Vimeo and Youtube video embeds:

Privacy Policy

You can read about our cookies and privacy settings in detail on our Privacy Policy Page. privacy-policy