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facebook stalking

We're All Stalkers, Let's Just Admit It

November 13, 2014/in Date Stats, Date Tips, Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

It’s something that literally everyone who has a Facebook has been guilty of at some point — and it’s totally okay! This social phenomenon of Facebook stalking has interested me for several years now, to the point that I studied it in college. What I found was that the social acceptability of admitting that you’ve “stalked” someone is completely dependent on your offline relationship with them. It’s not at all weird to tell your best friend that you saw her pictures from a couple weeks ago, but it’s super weird  to tell an ex, or even just an acquaintance, that you know what they did last weekend. What would it be like to live in a world where this wasn’t strange behavior anymore? I mean, people post things on their profiles for other people to see, right? Isn’t that the point?

 
If you liked this post, check out 6 Ways to Start a Conversation With Just About Anyone.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Online Dating Statistics

Ladies, How Well Do You Actually Know Men?

November 6, 2014/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

A few weeks ago, we asked all you fine ladies to answer some questions about how you think men’s brains are working when it comes to dating, and the results are in! Take a look at what we found out; some of the results might even shock you. It turns out that guys are way more nervous about having something to talk about than what you look like on a first date, and a sense of humor is by far the most important quality in a partner to both men and women. Do you think you’re a dating pro? A man-mindreader? Check out what other ladies thought about these common first date signals below and see how you stack up against what the guys actually said, then let us know what you think!
reading dating signals
Curious as to what guys think of the signals you send them? Click here to see how well they really understand you.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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The Double Dot

September 28, 2014/in Date Tips /by Guest Blogger

 


dots
Ahh, the dot. Perhaps the most confusing of all the punctuation family’s brothers and sisters. Much has been written regarding the addition of the Period to the end of a text message. The freedom that’s arisen from the recent regression of grammar in statements, and the ability to create a fluid ongoing conversation in its absence. Add a Period to a statement, and a certain visual gravity can weigh down a thought, turning a lighthearted
Hmm that could work
into the more grave
Hmm that could work.
We have seen grammar in texting evolve to the point that our natural default is to use no grammar whatsoever, even to indicate pauses. So much do we fear a misinterpretation of intent or tone that the entire system of visual signaling has started to become omitted from our digital communication. And so as eloquently stated by Ben Crair in his brilliant article “The Period is Pissed,” when we come across a period in text messages one must ask themselves what in the blazes it’s doing in there. What does it mean? He interviewed Mark Liberman, a professor of linguistics at the University of Pennsylvania for the piece.
“In the world of texting and IMing … the default is to end just by stopping, with no punctuation mark at all,” Liberman wrote me. “In that situation, choosing to add a period also adds meaning because the reader(s) need to figure out why you did it. And what they infer, plausibly enough, is something like ‘This is final, this is the end of the discussion or at least the end of what I have to contribute to it.’”
The Period’s crazy cousin Ellipses has seen its fame reach new heights as its meaning has become so much greater than simply a dramatic pause. The Ellipses is now an accepted breath sometimes not once, not twice, not even thrice but in some cases up to five times per sentence. Its meaning has overtaken numerous other grammatical symbols previously known to have a purpose. In “What the …” Matthew J.X. Malady remarks that despite this evolution there is rarely confusion regarding the intent of the message composer:
“There were ellipses used in lieu of commas. Ellipses as question-mark replacements. In some instances, it was ellipses instead of a single period at the end of a statement, or 10 dots spanning two lines on my phone’s screen. What a mess! And yet at no point in reading the mom text or any of the others did I find myself confused as to what the message senders were attempting to communicate.”

And so as we find ourselves at the crossroads between three distinct paths- no grammar, an increasingly assertive/borderline aggressive Period, and an all-encompassing yet perhaps ultimately meaningless Ellipses, I want to pose a seemingly underrepresented dot pairing to you: What in the world are we to think of the more rare but no less potent DOUBLE DOT?

The Period as well as the Ellipses have distinct and intentional purposes in a sentence because they are created by distinct and intentional movements of the hand. You press a Period key once, bam. End of story. Hold that key down for a bit, and tada! Ellipses. But that Double Dot, that is an entirely different story. Somewhere in the land between an end and merely a pause lies a pair of dots whose meaning remains unclear as the physicality behind their creation can be either intentional or accidental. Sometimes the accident is so visually appealing it becomes the intent. Because of this ambiguity, the dot pairing itself creates an ambiguity that when left alone can be an end or conversely a beginning to a conversation. For a visual aid in understanding the perceived intent behind this bonanza of dots, regard the following.
10612571_10202039860152617_2633572064165518666_n
Interestingly, the more dots we add to this statement, the less assuring the response seems to be. Though this goes well into the spectacular Quadro-Dot set that in my own experience comes from those in a more meditative state, it’s possible to see how the Double appears almost as a stutter step. Did they really mean that that sounds ok? Do they even care about what I’m saying? Inna Komarovsky, an illustrator and Rhode Island School of Design alum, works with all things visual on a daily basis. Her conclusions regarding the Double Dot pairing is that it’s entirely possible they are creating an additional passive-aggressive approach by softening original intent: “I think some people try to soften the single dot by changing it into an ungrammatical comma, an ellipsis, an emoticon, or an m-dash. Maybe actually those are things I do to soften the single dot….”. Worth noting, Inna did end with a Quadro-Dot, which to me meant she had ruminated on this for a bit.
And so, should you receive this double dot, this potentially accidental or even passive-aggressive foray into grammar, my advice to you is this: If it’s something that is not a relationship killer, an ice cream flavor you’d like to pick up for example, let the Double D be and get whatever flavor you’d like. I always say that if someone doesn’t speak up, then I can eat whatever ice cream I’d like. If it’s more important, first of all probably don’t use texts to figure out an answer. But if you happen to be texting about say another person’s interest in you or someone else, dig further. And for crying out loud, use a Period.
If you liked this post, go check out The Simulacra, Simulation and the Pseudo-reality of Online Dating.


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//

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Promise Society

Coffee Meets Bagel Sponsors Love For Charity Date Auction For The Promise Society (TPS)!

June 16, 2014/in CMB Says /by Guest Blogger

 
Coffee Meets Bagel is a proud sponsor of The Promise Society‘s 5th Annual Charity Date Auction!

WHEN: Friday, June 20th @ 6pm

WHERE: Stage 48, @ 605 W 48th St, New York, NY 10019

Participants will be able to bid for dates with the beautiful members of TPS who have volunteered to auction themselves for the noble cause. Check them out at the below link and buy tickets now!

 
Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 10.30.51 AM
 
P.S. This year, TPS is enabling supporters to vote for the charity that will benefit from our proceeds. Get involved and choose among three worthy causes:

1) APEX for Youth
2) Charles B. Wang Community Health Center
3) Restore NYC

TO VOTE, simply go to https://apps.facebook.com/my-polls/tps

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): Every day at noon, we introduce you to one single with whom you share mutual friends. You have 24 hours to LIKE or PASS your match (aka “Bagels”). Mutual LIKE leads to direct connection via text message on a private phone line.

Coffee Meets Bagel, Best Dating App

first date expectations

My First Dates: What I Think Will Happen vs. What Actually Happens

June 2, 2014/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

I’ve gone on plenty of first dates, and I generally go in with expectations. But even though I’ve had flops, I still enjoyed them. Sure, some of these “reality” points are exaggerated, but don’t let that stop you from having a good time, or at least obtain a story you can now retell to crack up your friends over lunch.

1) When You Decide on What to Wear

Expectation:
first date expectations--dressing up
Reality:
first date expectations--reality

2) When You Make Your Way to the Date

Expectation:
getting to the date--expectations
Reality:
getting to the date--reality

3) When You Finally Meet Your Date in Person

Expectation from the photos:
meeting the date in person--expectations
Reality once you meet in person:
meeting the date in person--expectations

4) When You Start Talking To Each Other

Expectation:
first date conversations--expectations
Reality:
first date conversations--reality

5) When You’re Going for a Kiss

Expectation:
the kiss--expectations
Reality:
the kiss--reality

6) When You’re Wondering If You’ll Text After the Date

Expectation:
post date text--expectations
Reality: He/she never texts…
post date text--reality
 
But, hey, at least I’m putting myself out there and meeting people. After all, you have to kiss a bunch of frogs before you kiss a prince, so at least I’m happy I’m gaining experience out there!
Mickey Dancing
Speaking of texting, are you guilty of any of these 5 texting mistakes? If you are, learn how to fix your mistake by reading Five Texting Mistakes That I’ve Made and Don’t Want You to Make. About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

Rainy Day Date Ideas

Rainy Day Date Ideas

April 4, 2014/in Date Ideas /by CMB

Need date ideas for a rainy day? Don’t let April showers get you down!
Check out these 5 date ideas that’ll have you singing in the rain:
1. Explore an indoor market
You won’t miss the great outdoors as you wander the maze of food vendors and local shops. Sample exotic foods, grab a cold one, and enjoy people-watching.
We love getting lost in these notable marketplaces:
Boston – Faneuil Hall Marketplace
New York – Chelsea Market
Philadelphia – Reading Terminal Market
San Francisco – Ferry Building Marketplace
Seattle – Pike Place Market
2. Head to the classroom
Whether you’re interested in knitting hats for cats or at-home beer brewing, there’s a class for that. Impress your date with your newfound skills and maybe pick up a new hobby to enjoy together!
Time Out has a great listing of classes by city.
3. Get cooking
Get in touch with your inner top chef. After all, they say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. If you don’t know where to start, use All Recipe’s “Cooking for Two” collection for the perfect meal.
And, don’t forget to pop open a bottle of vino to compliment your culinary creation.
4. Play games
A little friendly competition will get your adrenaline pumping and guarantee a playful day indoors. For the bold, Cards Against Humanity can be a great way to get a peek into your date’s sense of humor. Stick to the classics like Apples to Apples, Scrabble, or these board games to keep it G-rated.
Keep it flirty and don’t be afraid to invent your own rules! Twister, anyone?
5. Tour a local brewery or winery
Find a local waterhole that offers a behind-the-scenes tour. After imbibing on free samples, head to lunch or grab food at the bar to keep the date going. Can’t find a tour nearby? Stock up on drinks and snacks for a boozy indoor picnic.
Did you love this post? Check out our Dating Timeline for Men and Dating Timeline for Women to keep your relationship on track!
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): Every day at noon, we introduce you to one single with whom you share mutual friends. You have 24 hours to LIKE or PASS your match (aka “Bagels”). Mutual LIKE leads to direct connection via text message on a private phone line.
Coffee Meets Bagel, Best Dating App

Being Single In Hong Kong Vs. In America

January 28, 2014/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

Life as a bachelor/bachelorette in Hong Kong, versus that of the USA is… a little bit different to say the least. Here are some prime examples:

1. Being a White Bachelor

Hong Kong:

player

America:

alone

2. Being an Asian Bachelor

Hong Kong:

sad

America:

sad

3. Being a Single Asian Woman

Hong Kong:

similar

America:

fabulous

4. Being Single at 3 AM on a Friday Night

Hong Kong:

rave

America:

dog

5. Men in their 20’s

Hong Kong:

party

America:

party

6. Men in their 30’s

Hong Kong:

party

America:

american pie

Enjoy this article? Check out the funniest dating vines of 2014!

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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great date ideas

Great Date Ideas: SFMOMA Closing Party

May 29, 2013/in SF /by CMB

Hey Bagels!

Come start your weekend, and your summer, early at the SFMOMA Closing Party starting Thursday. This is the last chance to check out the museum before it paves way for the new SFMOMA. This is your chance to show off your artsy side to your Bagel so don’t miss this great date idea!

SFMOMA's Modern Ball Museum Party 2012

SFMOMA’s Modern Ball Museum Party – they know how to party!

WHAT: SFMOMA Celebration Countdown
WHERE: 151 Third Street (between Mission & Howard)
WHEN: Thursday 5/30 to Sunday 6/2

Why should you check it out?

  1. Sangria Bar & Local DJ’s @ Countdown Celebration Kick Off Party: Relax from a long day at work on Thursday evening with music and booze, plus fun activities such as a featured gaming pc lounge and t-shirt screen printing.
  2. Off the Grid will be there with food trucks like Me So Hungry, Tres Truck, Fiveten Burger and more.

  3. 24 Hour Movie?!? If you have ever wanted to spend an entire day watching TV and still be ‘cultured,’ now’s your chance! “The Clock” will be playing on six separate screens. It’s expected to be popular so get there early, and no, you don’t have to stay for the whole thing! Check their twitter for wait times and updates: @TheClockSFMOMA

This is a great summer date idea to get to know other SF locals – its free, casual, and artsy!

dating tips from the tech sector

eChivalry: Dating Tips from the Tech Sector

May 24, 2013/in For Him /by Guest Blogger

iphone-engagement2

Got a hot date coming up you want to impress? Scrambling for a last minute venue for dinner and drinks? Gentlemen, this is your chance to prove that chivalry isn’t dead; quite the contrary. There’s an app for it. Want to impress your date and learn some lifehacks to streamline your day-to-day? Here are some dating tips from the tech sector that might come in handy the next time you’re wooing the ladies.

1. Get Plugged In
If you live in a city, you’ve probably noticed how increasingly smartphone-centric everything is getting. Knowing local apps and social media makes you more involved in your local community, and hip—knowledge is power. Lifestyle apps like Sōsh or Thrillist that hand pick events and deals out of your personal quiver of interests humbly ask that you make a profile or login through Facebook to better match you with your local friends who might also have good ideas on the community beat.
Want something a little more instant-gratification oriented? Apps like Now pull the location tags from Instagram to let you know what venues and locations are trending in your area, giving you down-to-the-second updates on what’s going on. Clients like Goldstar help you stay on top of this, offering discounts and early RSVP options for people who are in the know, or just looking for new music and art and willing to give it a try.

tumblr_mi0qm5OuYl1qj10k6o1_500

2. Know your Surroundings
This may sound like a strange one, but knowing where you are and how to get around is becoming easier (and more important than ever). Being on time is something made science by apps like Embark that keep you up-to-date on public transit, or Uber, which lets you seamlessly call different levels of personal transport (from taxi, to towncar, to SUV) to your exact location within five minutes. This is crucial when there’s nary a cab in sight and all the buses have absconded with your last hope of a ride home. For the more outgoing among us, there’s Sidecar, which uses their mobile interface to let you hitch a ride with registered users in your area.
3. Know When to Unplug
Knowing when to put your phone down is still crucial in establishing that human connection. So often these days, people find themselves ignoring their physical surroundings and the people therein; take a moment, put your phone on silent, hide it in the depths of your backpack, and ignore the terrible itch to see who’s sending you drunk pictures on Snapchat for ten minutes to have a face to face conversation. These tips will set you up for an unforgettable experience and bring out the cultured ladykiller within, so when clutch time comes, stay focused on your date, not these apps. Unplug, be present, and you might even see date number two looming on the horizon.

Jewish Men and Asian Girls

Dating Myths Exposed: Do Jewish Men Really Have a Thing for Asian Women?

April 15, 2013/in Date Stats /by CMB

“Men only like younger women”

“White men like Asian women”

“When people say they are 5’6″, they really mean they are 5’4″”

… and the relationship stereotypes continue…

13 months ago, we started CMB with a simple idea: what if we created a dating site that used your own social network to help you find  love? Close to a million matches later (whew!),  and we’ve helped connect thousands of singles across the nation!  As an awesome byproduct of this, we’ve also collected a ton of data on what different groups of people are looking for when it comes to dating.
This month, we’ve decided to use this data to launch a series of posts busting common dating myths.
First up: Do Jewish Men Really Have a Thing for Asian Women?
Ok, maybe it’s because I’m an Asian woman but I see TONS of White guys and Asian ladies running around together and those White guys, for whatever reason are ALWAYS JEWISH!  I swear to Shiva (Obvious exaggeration here but you get my point).

 Of course, the topic of racial preference in relationships has been looked at before, famously by OKCupid as well as the New York Time’s Tierny Lab. However, we at CMB feel uniquely suited to test this specific hypothesis because of our –how shall we put it– enormously overly-representative Jewish & Asian membership.  Seriously, check it out; numbers don’t lie:

Ethnicity Distribution among CMB members vs. the US (A-1)

NOTE: We divided White into Jewish and non-Jewish for the purpose of this analysis. 99% of the Jewish population was White.

As you can see, Jewish and Asians are over-represented by ten times on CMB compared to the total US population. This is largely due to the fact that we first started our service with a group of 200 young, urban professionals (our own friends!) in New York City, who, by and large, happened to be Jewish and Asian. Given that CMB has grown largely by members encouraging their friends to join, it’s no surprise that the trend has continued.

On to the findings:

A quick refresher on how CMB works:  Every day at noon, CMB introduces members to one single (a.k.a. a “Bagel”), whom they must LIKE or PASS within 24 hours. These Bagels are friends of friends who also meet the member’s basic match preference criteria – gender, age, race, religion – which the members tell us when they first register with CMB. A mutual LIKE leads to a direct connection via a private phone line that the couple can use to communicate.
What Jewish Men Say They Want (When it Comes to Ethnicity)
On CMB, members get to pick any number of ethnicities they want in their Bagels, or no preference at all. Since we’re currently looking at Jewish men who are specifically interested in Asian women, we just looked at men who picked at least one ethnicity preference. Here is what Jewish White Men told us they wanted. Note that we also included non-Jewish White Men’s preference as a point of comparison.
Ethnicity preference of White Male Members

Note: We want to point out that “all men” here only includes straight men. Gay members, don’t fear – we’ll dedicate a post to you soon!

 What exactly do these numbers mean? Take a look at the White (Jewish) Men’s row. The first 19% means that 19% of Jewish men chose Asian women as one of the ethnicities they preferred. The darker green indicates higher percentages, and the lighter green, lower ones. A similar percentage of Jewish men were interested in Hispanic women (17%). Compared to this, a much larger percentage (65%) of Jewish men chose White women (dark green).
How about Jewish White men vs. non-Jewish White men? It turns out, more non-Jewish White men prefer Asian women (29% vs. 19%), however, they also prefer women of their own ethnicity the most (54%) and a substantial percentage of them also like Hispanic women.
Verdict so far? Based on the numbers, there is no evidence to suggest that Jewish men have a particular preference for Asian women.
Asian fetish???
Next hypothesis: Even though most Jewish men prefer White women, there is a group of Jewish men who have a “fetish” for Asian girls (a.k.a. they only want Asian women).
Given that members can pick any number of ethnic preferences, it was pretty easy for us to check this. We simply looked back over our data and found members that picked only one ethnicity.
% of men who only want one ethnicity

Overall, 28% of men indicated they only wanted one ethnicity. Of these, Jewish men had the highest percentage, followed by Asian men. So what ethnicity did these men want??

Preferences of Male members with Only One Preferred Ethnicity

 
NOTE: We dropped Black and Hispanic members because only a small % of these men wanted only one ethnicity.
Of the men who had only one ethnic preference, 7% of White men and a puny 1% of Jewish men said they only wanted Asian women. So much for the Jewish guys wanting Asian girls myth!
Interestingly, 8% of Asian men said they only wanted to date White women and a higher percentage (11%) of South Asian men said the same thing. Long story short: going by the numbers, Jewish men clearly don’t have an Asian fetish. Some White men may, but if that is the case, an equal percentage of Asian and South Asian men have a White fetish going on!
So what the heck is happening?
If Jewish men aren’t interested in Asian women, is it possible that the reverse is true, that it’s the Asian women who are going after Jewish men? Here is a table that shows the percentage of women who are looking for only one ethnicity.
% of women who only want one ethnicity

50% of women expressed interest in only one ethnicity. Like their male counterparts, Jewish women had the highest  single-ethnic preference percentage at 74%. So who did these ladies want?
Preferences of female members with Only One Preferred Ethnicity


Among women who only wanted one ethnicity, 100% of White women only wanted White men. Most Asian women only wanted Asian men, however, a full 34% of them (and 16% of South Asian women) also only wanted White men.   Looks like it’s good to be a white man…still.

Wrap-up

Judging by what CMB members told us about their Bagel preferences, Jewish men liking Asian women seems to be an unfounded myth. Put that one up there with having an orgasm if you sneeze seven times. However, it does look like there’s a bit of a trend in the reverse: Asian women are fiends for White men, including Jewish men.

Final Verdict: False

Stay tuned for our next post! Have any dating myths you want us to bust? Let us know at [email protected]!

Quick Note about Methodology:

CMB’s current Chief Data Scientist Abraham used a chi-square test (using frequencies) to confirm that the distribution of preferences across ethnicities were statistically different.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a dating app designed with women in mind. Founded by 3 sisters in 2012 in NYC, CMB aims to deliver a fun, safe, and quality dating experience that results in meaningful relationships.

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