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successful relationship

Are All The Good Men And Women Really Taken?

December 21, 2014/in Date Tips /by Guest Blogger

Do These 6 Things To Find Out

Guest post by Linda Bloom
Charlie and I have heard many people asking this question during our career as relationship counselors. My point of view is: it only takes one. You may have to kiss a few frogs in the process but that’s a small price to pay compared to what could be a great outcome.

Why Bother?

There’s no doubt that finding somebody who floats your boat is a challenge, especially if you’ve gone through the process enough times to know exactly what you’re looking for — and what you aren’t willing to go through again. It’s not a walk on the beach to find somebody who will pair with you, make a commitment to support your development and to learn and respect your needs, who won’t bail when things get tense, can stand the heat, and work with you to create the partnership you look for.
So why bother going through this onerous process?  Isn’t it simpler and less upsetting to save yourself the inconvenience and stay out of the dating game altogether? After all, if you’re convinced that there’s nobody out there who’s available, who’s really worth being in relationship with, then why should you even try?

The Truth

Many people embrace the idea that “all the good ones are already taken” because it protects them from the possibility of the rejection, disappointment, pain, or loss that can accompany the quest for love. They may not be building a relationship and enjoying the benefits of a rich and rewarding bond, but by the same token they believe they will avoid the fear of being abandoned, cheated on, or the frustration of finding out that the one they thought was a prize turned out to be a disappointment and the source of hurt. Some of those who hold this position tend to gather “evidence” usually from others who share the same belief, which affirms their view: it’s just not worth the effort. Believing that the situation is hopeless has the advantage of justifying the avoidance of emotional risks fundamental with starting new relationships. Some prefer to find “friends” with whom they can commiserate and find solace and empathy.
Just as you might be contemplating abandoning the search, there are plenty of other qualified, decent, worthwhile eligible partners out there . Because they may be thinking the same thing as you, however, they are not likely to come knocking on your door without receiving some kind of invitation. And if your standards are such that you require your partner to adhere to some ideal of “perfection”, be prepared to be disappointed (unless you can prove that you are perfect yourself).
Whether you live in San Francisco or in South Carolina, whether you’re 18 or 92, whether you’re a conservative or a liberal, whether you like jazz or pop, there are people with whom it is possible to create true, lasting and loving partnerships. What it takes is:

  1. The readiness to risk involvement and emotional engagement, to make yourself vulnerable and face the chance of disappointment.
  2. The intention to become the partner of your dreams, rather than just trying to find him or her. Ask yourself: “ ‘I need somebody to love me’: is that true?”
  3. The commitment to persevere without getting discouraged even if you do end up having to kiss a few frogs.
  4. The ability to be selective about who you talk and listen to, and pay less attention to your nay-saying friends.
  5. A commitment to do your own work to become a more loving, authentic, and trustworthy person. Love with others starts with love within!
  6. And the patience, trust and faith that make it possible to hang in there and enjoy the ride between now and the time that you get to invalidate this less useful belief!

Linda Bloom and her husband Charlie are renown experts in the field of relationships. They have been married since 1972. They are educators and relationship therapists who are committed to helping individuals and couples experience a high level of well being in their lives. They have been featured by over two hundred radio and TV programs and are co-authors of several bestselling books. To learn about their practice, or to ask them a question, visit their profile on eTherapi. eTherapi is an online therapy platform that allows people to find and talk with a therapist anytime, anywhere.
If you liked this post, check out Is Love At First Sight Real?

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love at first sight

Is Love At First Sight Real?

December 11, 2014/in Date Tips /by Guest Blogger

Love at first sight! Hmmm!, have you ever experienced it before?  Do you even believe it can happen to you? Many people have different notions when it comes to falling in love at first sight. To some, it looks very possible, while to others, it is very ridiculous. Ok, let’s consult the opinions of psychologists to determine whether it is really possible to fall in love at first sight or not.
A study carried out by Stephanie Ortigue, Ph.D of Syracuse University and his colleagues from West Virginia University, and a Switzerland based University Hospital revealed that falling in love only takes about a fifth of a second to happen.
They discovered that love at first sight depends on the psychological state of mind. Some people fall in love at first sight because they believe love exists and are ready to fall in love. It will be difficult for people who do not believe in love to fall in love at first sight.  Again, you cannot fall in love at first sight if you are not in a good state of mind or you have loads of problems on your mind. At such time, falling in love will be the last thing on your mind.
It was also discovered that men have the tendency to fall in love at first sight more than women.  This is due to physical attractiveness factor. It is possible for a man to  fall in love at first sight because the more he looks at a woman for the first time, the more he will be interested in her. However, this is not true for most women. They tend to fall in love while in a relationship. A woman can like a man’s appearance, looks etc, but will hardly fall in love at that instant, but as a relationship develops, she tends to fall in love and is committed to the relationship.
Apart from scientific researches, is it really possible to feel love at first sight or is it “lust” that people experience. For us to discover the truth, we will first of all look at the definition of love and lust.
Love, according to the Wordweb dictionary is “a strong positive emotion of regard and affection”.  I love the definition given by Brene Brown, he said love is “an intangible connection between two people that feels exceptionally good”. Love is a good feeling. Most people describes it as having butterflies in your stomach.
Lust on the other hand is defined as “having a craving, appetite, or great desire for”.  Love and lust looks similar but they generate different actions and reactions. Most people refer to love at first sight as been lust and not love.  Lust can be very deceptive and most people develop it easily thinking they have found utmost chemistry with someone they are meeting for the first time. Most people are drawn to outward appearance and not considering other relevant factors that can make a relationship successful.  Those traits cannot be seen outside, they are inbuilt virtues.
People who fall in love at first sight have a preconceived notion of the kind of person they want to date and so when they come into contact with them at first sight, they tend to fall in love.
The true test of love is that it tends to endure, shines and grows with increased interest overtime, unlike lust which have the ability to fade away, shrinks and disappear within a short period of time.
A Greek-American baseball coach said, “if you don’t know what you’re looking for, you ain’t gonna find it, if you don’t know what is love, you probably ain’t gonna find that either”
Therefore, we can safely conclude that those who fall in love at first sight are looking for love and those who don’t may not be searching for it.  But, is this true, let’s hear your opinion.


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Is Watching Porn While You're In A Relationship Cheating?

December 4, 2014/in Date Tips, Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

Okay everyone, time to get real here. You watch porn. Your friends watch porn. Maybe you watch porn with your friends. It’s a weird thing, like pooping (weird comparison, I know, sorry), that everybody does, but for some reason, doesn’t talk about. So, assuming that you don’t talk openly about watching porn with your girlfriend — also assuming you don’t watch porn with your girlfriend — is it considered cheating? Some of the Elite Daily staff are here to put in their two cents on the topic.

If you liked this post, check out The Dark Side: Speed Dating Star Wars Style.


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Cuddling Is Good For You Because Science (…But Really)

December 4, 2014/in Date Stats, Date Tips, For Her, For Him /by Guest Blogger

Note: The post was written by Laura Argintar and was originally posted on Elite Daily.

It turns out there really is some science as to why your sorry, single self is going to bed at night alone and waking up miserable.

We’re probably not the first people to tell you this — and don’t get all offended when we do — but you need to find a partner. According to collective research by Andrea Petersen in The Wall Street Journal, sleeping with a partner in the same bed provides an array of health benefits. And it doesn’t stop there.

Some scientists hypothesize that sleeping with a partner may be a prominent reason people in intimate relationships tend to be in better health and live longer than sad and lonely singletons.

Sharing really is caring after all, at least when it comes to your sheets. The new study challenges previous findings that women don’t sleep as well with someone else in their bed and that both sexes move around more when sleeping together.

While this may be true, according to Wendy M. Troxel, an assistant professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Pittsburgh, “the psychological benefits we get having closeness at night trump the objective costs of sleeping with a partner.”

So maybe don’t be so quick to f*ck ‘em and chuck ‘em next time, ya feel?

Here’s another reason to love your partner more: Sleeping together promotes feelings of safety and security, which may lower levels of cortisol, a stress hormone.

“Sharing a bed may also reduce cytokines, involved in inflammation, and boost oxytocin, the so-called love hormone that is known to ease anxiety and is produced in the same part of the brain responsible for the sleep-wake cycle,” suggests the WSJ.

Perhaps if you’re feeling anxious before a big exam or presentation, you should give your cuddle-buddy a call — like a booty call 2.0.

And if you’re still single, there’s another reason to feel worse about yourself (no, it’s not about skipping a gym day).

Research also shows that women in stable relationships actually fall asleep faster and wake less frequently than single women or those whose relationship status changed during the study.

So if you’re going to cuddle your man, make sure you hang on tight and don’t let him go! Or else you’ll be single, cranky AND tired.

The science doesn’t stop there though. If you want to really boost your relationship happiness, you and your partner should sleep naked.

It’s fairly intuitive; sleeping naked together builds a sense of closeness and intimacy, which in turn, strengthens your relationship.

A poll of 1,000 Brits revealed that 57 percent of couples who sleep in the nude reported being “extremely happy” in their relationships, while less than half of the PJ-clad reported the same.

The lesson? Even if you ate an entire feast of Chinese food that night, don’t be afraid to take it off. Take it all off.

Basically, science is telling us something we already knew: One really is the loneliest number.

About the Author: Laura Argintar is the Senior Women’s Writer at Elite Daily. Listed among her achievements are performing stand-up, graduating from the U of M and writing for her favorite publications. LARG enjoys covering women’s topics, watching celebrities self-destruct and rising to any occasion. You can find more from her here, or find her on Twitter @LARGTwITS.


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5 Ways To Sustain Your Relationship

November 25, 2014/in Date Tips, For Her, For Him /by Guest Blogger

According to a research carried out on more than 5000 women by Menshealth.com and Glamour magazine, it was discovered that 26% of women broke up with their boyfriends over too many arguments and conflicts, 18% broke up because there is no chemistry in their relationships, 14% found a better guy, 11%  broke up because the men cheated, 11% broke up when the men would not commit, 9% broke up because the men weren’t a husband material, 3% broke up because of lousy sex.
The research showed that a lot of relationship are breaking up each and every day because of different reasons as can be seen above. In this article, we will be taking a look at how we can sustain our relationships and keep it from breaking up.  Below are some ways you can do that.
1.  Fall in love again
One of the main pillars that keep a relationship strong is love. When there is no love between two people in a dating relationship, breakup is imminent.  The question is, how can you keep the fire of love burning? You need to keep falling in love over and over again. Do the things that attracted you to each other at the beginning of the relationship. Do those things that your partner loves seeing you do and you will keep the fire burning.  The problem with ladies is that, once they are in a relationship with someone, they assumed there is no need to fight for the man’s love again.  That is a very wrong assumption, you need to keep doing what he wants to make him love and respect you the more.
2.  Confront your problems.
There is no relationship that is devoid of conflicts. This is because the two parties involved were raised by different parents, environment, ideology etc. Therefore, there is bound to be differing opinions about things when they come together.  You must learn to confront and solve all these problems and not overlook them.  For example, if you are in a relationship with a man who doesn’t deem it fit to clean his house and just leave everything scattered and you on the other came from a home where everything should be in their proper places.  There will be a problem in your relationship, you need to sit down and educate each other about it.  Another problem that can ensue is the issue of money, if you come from a family where money is not an issue and you get what you need without lifting a finger and you are in a relationship with a guy who does not have it all, you will need to come down to his level to make it work. Therefore,  confronting all the issues in your relationship will clear things up and give you a headway.
3.  Enhance each other’s live
Relationship has gone beyond selfish desires.  You must learn to look for ways you can add value to the life of your partner. What does he or she likes doing? How can you help her/him do it better without much stress? For example, while I was dating my husband, he discovered that I love to browse the internet and write.  He went ahead to buy Internet marketing magazines for me to get more knowledge about the stuff and turn it into a money making business. I started reading and getting ideas on how to start freelance writing online.  Since I love writing and browsing, it was easy for me to turn it into a money making venture and that is what I am doing today.  I still get to do what I love and make money from it.  I don’t see it as a job, but as a hobby and I am able to contribute to the family financially.  That is what I am talking about.  Look for ways to help your partner develop his/her passion and your relationship will grow stronger and stronger.
4.  Respect and Honesty
Being in a relationship with someone does not make you his/her subordinate. It is a mutual thing and you must respect each other’s values, opinions, way of life etc.  You can’t talk down on your partner simply because you are a man.  That is not a good way to show your manliness. Respect should be reciprocal, respect her and she will respect you.  Honesty is another value that you must uphold in your relationship.  Don’t cover up things that can be exposed later and cause problems.  Let your partner know who you are right from the beginning.  There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, no matter how long it takes.
5.  Care for the other person as much as yourself
Sometimes in a relationship, a partner may be too consumed about his/her need that he will forget to look after the other person.  For a relationship to triumph, you must care for one another. Look out for each other’s interest and guide it jealously.  Don’t be the only focus in the relationship, it takes two people to make a relationship work.
Are you ready to make your relationship work?  Then, follow the points highlighted above and your relationship will keep growing stronger and stronger.



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13 Reasons I'm Convinced That Taylor Swift Is Stalking Me

November 20, 2014/in Date Stories /by Guest Blogger

My name is Terry and I have a Taylor Swift problem. Yes, I am 23 years old and maybe it’s a little weird that I’m obsessed with a pop star who is practically my age, but I give pretty much zero fucks. (Technically she’s 11 months older than me, and yes, I know her birthday off the top of my head. It’s fine, don’t worry about it.) Running the risk of sounding like a total hipster, I’ve been listening to Taylor’s music since way before most people had ever even heard of her.
My sophomore year of high school (2006) I was in the hospital for some minor health complications, and I don’t know if you’ve ever been confined to a hospital bed for 3 days, but there is actually nothing to do but watch (really awful) daytime television, and sleep. I didn’t have my own computer yet, so I was essentially sentenced to channel surfing and texting on my LG flip phone for the entirety of my stay. As I was flipping through the channels one day, I, for some reason, stopped on the Country Music Channel and heard the godess that is Taylor Swift for the first time. It was her first single and music video “Tim McGraw” and I loved it. I wasn’t even remotely a fan of country music at the time, but something about her caught my eye.
As soon as I got home I downloaded her first self titled album, and that’s when it all began. Ever since (and including) that album, Taylor has, without fail, released album after album chock-full of songs that I swear are written about my love life. I’ve always been the kind of person who expresses herself through the lyrics of the songs that she listens to, to the point that just a few days ago, a friend of mine told me how cute she thinks it is that I still post lyrics as my Facebook statuses. To me, and I think to a lot of girls, there is comfort in knowing that someone relates to the way you’re felling, and no one is more relatable than Taylor Swift. So, without further adieu, here are 13 songs and the reasons I am all but certain that Taylor Swift was hiding in the bushes and using my life as inspiration.


 The One Who Innocently Overlooks The Truth

taylor swift i'd lie

“He’ll never fall in love he swears// as he runs his fingers through his hair // I’m laughing cause I hope he’s wrong // and I don’t think it ever crossed his mind // he tells a joke, I fake a smile // but I know all his favorite songs // and I could tell you // his favorite color’s green // he loves to argue, born on the 17th // his sister’s beautiful, he has his father’s eyes // and if you asked me if I love him // I’d lie.” – I’d Lie, Taylor Swift

I meet you on cape cod over the summer. I am painfully bored in the little town my family’s summer home is in and a good friend from our hometown tells me to hang out with you because you’re on vacation in the next town over. You drive to my house and meeting you is not nearly as awkward as I expect it to be. We walk down to the pier and talk for hours. I am already smitten.

taylor swift better than revenge

“The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and // I had it all, I had him right there where I wanted him // she came along, got him alone and let’s hear the applause // she took him faster than you could say ‘sabotage’ // I never saw it coming, wouldn’t have suspected it // I underestimated just who I was dealing with.” – Better Than Revenge, Speak Now 

We see each other frequently when we get back home. We kiss in the backseat of your car, we hold hands, and we flirt constantly via text. Then, you start dating a mutual friend of ours. But you don’t stop flirting with me until she finds out, and it’s not pretty. She calls me and makes literal death threats. I never speak to you again.

The One Who Should Have Known

taylor swift love story

“I sneak out to the garden to see you // We keep quiet cause we’re dead if they knew // so close your eyes // Escape this town for a little while // ‘Cause you were Romeo, I was The Scarlet Letter // and my Daddy said ‘stay away from Juliet,’ // but you were everything to me // I was begging you please don’t go.” – Love Story, Fearless 

I’m 14 years old and I meet you because I’m cast in a student film at the local college you attend. You’re a film student with the most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen. You’re 21 and I’m not even going to try, even though our conversations feel somewhat magical, and I think you feel it too. You drive me the hour and a half back to my house after all of our shoots. We listen to The Red Hot Chili Peppers and talk about your crazy girlfriend. And then, three years later, you Facebook message me on my 17th birthday to ask me on a date. Before I know what’s happening, I’m sleeping over at your house several nights a week and telling my parents that I’m at my best friend’s house. I don’t tell you this at the time, but I give you my virginity.

taylor swift dear john

“Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you // counting my footsteps // praying the floor won’t fall through, again // My mother accused me of losing my mind // but I swore I was fine… // …and I’ll look back and regret how I ignored when they said // ‘Run as fast as you can’ // Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone // don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?”- Dear John, Speak Now 

My parents find out about you, and how old you are, and they want to meet you. I tell you this via text as soon as it happens and you respond by saying you “just can’t do this anymore.” You break up with me in a text message. We don’t speak, or rather, you ignore me and my childish attempts to win you back for 6 months. Then, the week before I leave for college, you invite me over and we sleep together one last time. The night before I leave, I stop by your house to give you a letter. This letter says something about how I think I was falling in love with you before we broke up. You don’t answer my calls when I get there, so I just leave it at your door. When I get out of the car to do so, there’s a girl on your porch. As I walk past her, not saying a word, she says, “He’s my boyfriend, you know.” I say “cool” and leave.

The One You’ll Spend Forever Wondering If They Knew

taylor swift enchanted

“This is me praying that this was the very first page, not where the story line ends // my thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again // These are the words I held back, as I was leaving to sing // ‘I was enchanted to meet you.’ // Please don’t be in love with someone else // please don’t have somebody waiting on you.”- Enchanted, Speak Now

I meet you the summer after my freshman year of college at a party in the state next to mine. I notice you from across the crowd because, well, you are cute, and because I see, through your white t-shirt, the logo of my hometown football team tattooed to your chest. We talk, we drink, we go to the bars, we get drunk, and somewhere along the way we end up holding hands and straying from the group. They eventually find us making out on the steps to City Hall on their way home. When we get back to your friend’s house to go to sleep, we call dibs on the floor of the empty bedroom. We don’t get much sleep that night because you’re kissing me and I’m kissing you back and I’m tracing the tattoos you have up the side of your torso with my fingertips. I’m learning that (ironically) you like Taylor Swift too, that you study archeology and play the guitar. I’m noticing that, somehow, you feel like home. We finally fall asleep after the sun starts to rise, and the next day I drive the three hours back home with nothing but your phone number and an unfamiliar feeling in my gut that you are going to be important somehow. We talk every day for a month and I have absolutely no idea what is going on.

taylor swift teardrops on my guitar

“I’ll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight // cause he’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar // the only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart // He’s the song in the car I keep singing // don’t know why I do // He’s the time taken up // but there’s never enough // and he’s all that I need to fall into // Drew looks at me // I fake a smile so he won’t see.” – Teardrops On My Guitar, Taylor Swift 

We keep talking for two years after that night. “We” are something, but I have no idea what — The only straight forward answer you ever give me is when I ask you if you want me to come visit you a month after we meet. You tell me that you can’t do long distance relationships, but then you keep calling me. We never talk about “us”, we just banter about our lives, music, and what we’ve done that day or week — but never about the people we’re dating or anything having to do with our personal romantic lives. We don’t stray too far from each other until one day you stop answering my calls and texts and then you unfriend me on Facebook. We don’t talk for eight months.

taylor swift treacherous

“I can’t decide if it’s a choice // getting swept away // I hear the sound of my own voice, asking you to stay // and all we are is skin and bone // trained to get along // forever going with the flow // but you’re friction // This slope is treacherous // this path is reckless // this slope is treacherous, I, I, I like it // Two headlights shine // through the sleepless night // and I will get you, I’ll get you alone // your name has echoed through my mind, and I just // think you should know // that nothing safe is worth the drive, and I would follow you home.” – Treacherous, Red

After those eight months, I’m in my first real relationship and, for some reason that I cannot quite understand, I decide to break our silence and send you a Facebook message. You respond almost immediately and we’re right back where we started. A few months later, while I’m home from school for winter break, you ask me to come visit you. My boyfriend is on the other side of the country and I just can’t say no to you. It’s been two and a half years since we met, two and a half years since I’ve seen your face, and two and a half years worth of questions that I’m being offered the answers to. I need these answers, so I get in my car and go.

The One You’re Dying To Know

taylor swift the story of us

“How’d we end up this way? // See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy // and you’re doing your best to avoid me // I’m starting to think one day I’ll tell the story of us // How I was losing my mind when I saw you here // But you held your pride like you should have held me // Oh, I’m scared to see the ending // Why are we pretending this is nothing?”- The Story of Us, Speak Now 

I meet you at college. You’re a senior, I’m a sophomore, and you just returned from a year abroad in Argentina. You are tall and absolutely insane. You saunter through the dining hall singing songs you made up about chicken nuggets and you are always the loudest person in the room. You make me laugh. I am crushing hard, and not in the giddy school girl way, but in the “I want to be inside your brain because you are a fascinating human being” way. One night at a party you pull me aside and tell me that you have feelings for me, but you’re kind of involved with someone right now. You’re not exactly sure what’s going on with her, and you say it wouldn’t be fair for you to ask me to wait until you figure it out. I do anyways, and you do end up breaking things off with that other girl, but you never breech the subject of “us” again. I am more confused by you than I have ever been by any other boy.

The One Who’s Been There Too, AFew Times

taylor swift style

“I should just tell you leave cause I // know exactly where it leads but I // watch us go round and round each time // You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye // And I got that red lip classic thing that you like.” – Style, 1989

I meet you at the bar I frequent. I’m not attracted to you at first, but you’re also a regular and you’re someone to talk to, so I talk to you about the book I’m reading and the game you’re watching. We eventually exchange numbers and start to actively make plans to meet at the bar, and before I know it I’m inching my knee closer to yours from our bar stools, and I’m holding eye contact with you for a couple seconds longer than I should. All of a sudden you’re the most handsome guy at the bar and I’m feeling like a giddy little school girl. I want to kiss you so badly, but there are a million reasons why I shouldn’t and can’t, and you know this. But I know you want to kiss me too. Self control is imperative.

The One Who Traded His Baseball Cap For A Crown

taylor swift long live

“Will you take a moment? // Promise me this: // That you’ll stand by me forever // but if god forbid fate should step in // and force us into a good life // If you have children some day // when they point to the pictures // please tell ’em my name // Tell ’em how the crowds went wild // Tell ’em how I hope they shine // Long live, the walls we crashed through // I had the time of my life with you.” – Long Live, Speak Now

We meet our second semester of college at our school’s version of a spring carnival. We have so much fun together and you quickly become my best male friend at school. However, I am fully aware of your reputation as somewhat of a man-whore and know not to go down that road with you. We make out once when we’re drunk and once more on a random Tuesday afternoon, but after about two minutes into that, we stop and look at each other like, “yeah, this is weird, let’s go to lunch.” The next year my best friend comes to visit and wants me to find her a boy to make out with. I realize that you two would get along very well, so I set you up. You end up dating her for almost three years and I kind of lose you to her. She knows you better than I do now, but that’s okay. You’re bound to make a name for yourself in this world, and I’m just proud to call you my friend.

The One

taylor swift crazier

“Baby you showed me what living is for // I don’t want to hide anymore // You lift my feet off the ground // You spin me around // You make me crazier, crazier // Feels like I’m falling and I, I’m lost in your eyes.” – Crazier, Hannah Montana Movie Soundtrack

You move into my dorm my junior year. You’re a freshman and you’re a fuckin’ weirdo and I like it, but not in a romantic way. You’re kind of nerdy and not at all my type. Then, one night in the spring, we get drunk and sleep together, but agree to forget about it and stay friends. This does not happen. We start dating, quietly at first, and when we finally tell them, our friends are all very confused. But you’re incredible, you make me so happy, and we don’t care what they think. No one has ever made me feel the way you do when you kiss me. I am falling in love for the first time.

taylor swift you're not sorry

“And you’ve got your share of secrets and I’m tired of being last to know // and now you’re asking me to listen cause it’s worked each time before // But you don’t have to call anymore // I won’t pick up the phone // This is the last straw // Don’t wanna hurt anymore // And you can tell me that you’re sorry but I don’t believe you baby like I did before // You’re not sorry. ” – You’re Not Sorry, Fearless

We try to break up when I graduate because it only seems logical, but we don’t stop saying I love you and we still talk every day. When the summer ends, you start your first year of school without me there and I ask that you just tell me if you sleep with someone else. Our school is small enough that I’m bound to find out from someone, and I’m right. You don’t tell me, not once, and I have to hear about it from other people more times than I care to think about. No matter how many times you see how much it hurts me, you never tell me, and you never apologize. I am constantly haunted by the thoughts of you undressing all these other girls. I want to hate you so badly, but I just can’t.

taylor swift state of grace

“This is a state of grace  // This is the worthwhile fight // Love is a ruthless game // unless you play it good and right // These are the hands of fate // You’re my achilles heel // This is the golden age of something good and right and real // and I never saw you coming.” – State of Grace, Red

We decide to try again and we get back together. I live with you for a summer and we start having (hypothetical) conversations about what our kids are going to look like. You always slow down when we pass bridal shops because you know, and don’t mind, that I love to ogle at the dresses. You know I’m imagining myself wearing one of them while I’m walking down the aisle towards you some day. But the summer ends and you have to leave again, and now you’re on the other side of the country. It’s not easy. In fact, it totally sucks, but some things are just worth it. And you’re one of those things. I love you.

And Everyone Else, Ever. 

taylor swift forever and always
Taylor, your lyrics and your honesty have saved my sanity more times than I can count. Please never stop doing what you do. (But please put your music back on Spotify. Please. My phone doesn’t have the space for your entire discography and sometimes I just need to you to sing about my life on my walk to work. K thanks, love you bye.)
If you liked this post, check out 8 Must Play Indie Songs For Anyone Looking For Love.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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If This Isn't Romantic, Then I Don't Know What Is!

November 12, 2014/in Date Stories /by CMB

Sherri and Jon's profiles
Who says dating apps can’t inspire romance? We think that Sherri and Jon are the perfect anecdote to prove otherwise.
It’s not a surprise that Sherri and Jon ended up together via Coffee Meets Bagel. They’re an attractive, and successful couple who have a buoyant grins in the many photos of their travels. “I liked Jon’s profile because he looked handsome and had a graduate degree.” Sherri says.
“I liked Sherri because she was cute, [and] had a good job,” Jon similarly chimes in. Their mutual attractiveness and smarts lead to their first date on December 14th, 2013 at the Pump Room in Chicago. The bonus? She picked up that Jon was a great cook and an even better friend.
“Jon…brought smoked pork belly and mulled wine (for [his friend’s holiday] party).” Sherri explains. She later discovered his prowess in the kitchen and in cocktail creations. To the outsider, it sounds as if they both naturally fell into each other. On January 5th, 2013 during a blizzard, they called it official. “Despite the weather, we had an amazing day in the city,” Sherri says.
To Coffee Meets Bagel users, they have uncannily similar advice. “Use Coffee Meets Bagel!” Jon’s advice to users goes, “think about the specific characteristics of a significant other that are most important to you.” As for Sherri?
“Take the time to put key things about yourself in your profile. Be honest with yourself about what matters to you,” she says. And most importantly, “stay positive.” In the midst of winter, perhaps it was also her positivity that helped Jon and Sherri’s relationship to blossom.
Sherri & Jon's timeline
 
 
Did you enjoy reading this post? Then check out “This Is What Happened After One Woman Tried A Dating App For The First Time“!
 


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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The 3 Men You Should Date Before Settling Down

November 11, 2014/in For Her /by Guest Blogger

If dating is a game, I like to think it’s a bit like Bingo.
It has a sense of surprise, an unknown timeline, an individual way of keeping score, a huge payout and a bunch of ladies having fun with the balls.
And those ladies are doing it right.
Just like in the dating world, the best players keep an open mind about whatever comes their way.
I’ve learned that each number the dealer calls yields a purpose and each date you go on helps get you one step closer to a long-term partner. The more numbers you play with, the better your odds.
So keep an eye out for these very-real numbers. These three men will teach you things you need to know on your journey to Jackpot – and make the trip that much more fun.

The Three Men You Should Date Before Settling Down

The International Man of Mystery

Who is he: wealthy, foreign, seductive.
Whether it’s his smooth accent or worldly knowledge, the International Man of Mystery instantly thrills you. He is the kind of man to pursue you aggressively, confidently and without instruction. The International Man of Mystery doesn’t ask you out; he tells you where to be, when to be there, what to wear and what to order. Your conversations about your different backgrounds and perspectives serves to not only enlighten you, but make YOU feel more exotic and interesting. While you easily get caught up in the whirlwind, you know you’re never the only woman in his life. This globetrotter is a man of the world, and from him you learn you want to be more than someone’s layover.
End it when: He proposes a threesome; he travels for business, never to be heard from him again.

The Expiration Date

Who is he: trustworthy, teaching, a true friend.
Dating the Expiration Date is like starring in your own coming-of-age movie. He teaches you things you’ve always wanted to know and does things with you you’ve always wanted to try; helping you move from point A to point B in life. He is exactly who you’d want to wind up with, except for that one “but.” …But he’s moving. But you’re moving. But you’re not ready yet. But your families won’t get along. For some reason, it has to end and it will end. And because, ultimately, it won’t work out, every interaction you share is that much more heightened and noteworthy. When eventually you part for good, you’ll feel heartbroken and also wiser. More ready for whatever’s next.
End it when: time runs up; there’s no denying there’s no future.    

The Peter Pan

Who is he: excitable, hero-obsessed, mama’s boy.
Being with the Peter Pan is for the time in your life when you start thinking about taking care of someone else. His youthful outlook and silly humor brings out your nurturing, wise and mature side. He makes you feel comfortable in your ability to be a caregiver. Because it’s not that the Peter Pan doesn’t want to grow up, it’s that he wants to jump from the care of his mother to the care of his girlfriend or wife. Though he may have a successful career, grown-up possessions or manly features, you’ll eventually see his dependency for what it is. And you need someone who can equally care for you back.
End it when: he makes you do his laundry; his mother yells at you
 
NOTE: We acknowledge at some point, some women WILL settle down with these types of men. And we wish them luck.

Feeling ready for love? Read the 38 Times Love is the Best.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Online Dating Statistics

Ladies, How Well Do You Actually Know Men?

November 6, 2014/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

A few weeks ago, we asked all you fine ladies to answer some questions about how you think men’s brains are working when it comes to dating, and the results are in! Take a look at what we found out; some of the results might even shock you. It turns out that guys are way more nervous about having something to talk about than what you look like on a first date, and a sense of humor is by far the most important quality in a partner to both men and women. Do you think you’re a dating pro? A man-mindreader? Check out what other ladies thought about these common first date signals below and see how you stack up against what the guys actually said, then let us know what you think!
reading dating signals
Curious as to what guys think of the signals you send them? Click here to see how well they really understand you.


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How This Adorable Couple Restored My Faith In Dating Apps!

October 20, 2014/in Dating in SF /by CMB


Danny And Kimmy's Profiles

“You never know when you’re going to meet someone special,” Danny and Kimmy’s advice to singles begins, “but when you do it is glaringly obvious you have.” With their unique mutual interests—rock climbing and strategy board games—it might have been obvious that their match would turn into something beautiful. “Once I read his profile, I knew I had to click ‘like’.” Kimmy says, “we could be both outdoorsy and nerdy together (sporcle, anyone?).” Common interests turned into chemistry when they met at Oakland’s Dogwood on the 20th of August in 2013. “We ended up staying and talking for 4 hours,” they add. Though, officially their anniversary is October 1st.  Even more surprising? Danny was Kimmy’s first bagel. Sometimes, it only takes one.
Danny and Kimmy's Timelines
If you liked this post, check out How I Met The Love Of My Life Through Coffee Meets Bagel.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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