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singles hate to hear

10 Things Singles Hate To Hear Around Valentine’s Day

February 11, 2015/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger
The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Dana Middleton
(This post was originally published in January 2014 and is back by popular demand!)

No other time of year is as difficult to be single as on Valentine’s Day. My inbox is flooded with emails on creative date spots, unique gifts, and best restaurants and I am constantly reminded of how I, as a single person, can’t partake in these activities. As for the rest of the 364 days of the year, I have to listen to this nonsense!
Share this post with your attached friends, who keep giving you useless, albeit well-intentioned, dating advice.

10 things singles like me HATE to hear:

1. “You are so good looking and so smart. How are you still single?”

Dating advice for couples
That’s just adding insult upon injury. Despite the fact that I am good looking and smart, I am still single! Thank you for reminding me of that.
2. “You are too picky! If you just lowered the bar, you’d be in a relationship.”
Dating Tips from Singles to their Attached Friends
I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that wanting my date to have a job AND a sense of humor was setting the bar too high. Which one do you recommend I give up on?
3. “You need to get out there more!”
Dating Tips from Singles to their Attached Friends

Let’s see: I have a profile on Coffee Meets Bagel, Match, Tinder, OKCupid and a dozen other online dating sites. I chat strangers up at the gym and the grocery store. I have my friends set me up on blind dates.  I go out on Friday & Saturday nights. What else do you want me to do?

4. “So, when are YOU getting married?” (Usually asked at a younger sibling’s or cousin’s wedding)

Dating Tips from Singles to their Attached Friends

Well, looks like today isn’t MY day. But when it does happen, I promise to send you a save-the-date at least 6 months in advance.

5. “It will happen when you least expect it.”

Dating Tips from Singles to their Attached Friends

Really? It sounds like something I read in a fortune cookie. Nothing has changed whether I expected or not. I’ve been “least expecting it” for like the past 12 months.

6. “Use this time to work on yourself.”

Dating Tips from Singles to their Attached Friends

I go to the gym. I get plenty of sleep. I eat organic, vegan & gluten free.  I have hiked Machu Picchu and Kilimanjaro. I have learned 3 new languages in the past year. I’ve taken cooking classes. What else do I need to work on?

7. “I envy you. I wish I was still single.”

Dating Tips from Singles to their Attached Friends

No, you don’t. You say that once a year when at someone’s bachelor/bachelorette party, you feel guilty about getting drunk and leaving your significant other at home. Every other night, you love that you have someone to cook a meal with, drag to a terrible movie, go on long strolls in the park or pretty much anything else that single people have to do alone.

8. “It’s his/her loss.”

Dating advice for couples

Actually it isn’t. He/she was really good looking, smart, funny, interesting, considerate and engaging. So it’s really my loss.

9. “You just have to hope and be optimistic.”

Dating Tips from Singles to their Attached Friends

What does that even mean? Sounds more like some campaign slogan than dating advice.

10. “He/she is out there for you. You just have to look harder.”

Dating Tips from Singles to their Attached Friends

Sounds like I gotta go on a “needle in the haystack” finding mission. Also, see #3 above. I have pretty much turned every haystack upside down looking for this needle.

 

If you liked this post, you might enjoy 4 Funniest Dating Vines of 2014.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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shark tank biggest offer

So The "Bean-llionnaires" Who Won 30 Million Beans Are…

January 14, 2015/in CMB Updates /by Guest Blogger

In honor of Mark Cuban’s $30 million dollar offer on Shark Tank, we announced a 30 million beans giveaway last week! We said we would choose one lucky winner among new members who sign up between January 9th and January 18th. We also said we would give 30 million Coffee Beans to whoever invited the winning member to Coffee Meets Bagel. So the lucky winners are: Caitlin and her friend Erin, who invited her!
In case you missed our co-founders Dawoon, Arum and Soo going head to head with the Sharks with so much confidence, check out our segment below:

 

If you liked this post, check out Dawoon’s article “Ladies, It’s Now Your Turn To Pay On The First Date,”  recently published by The Huffington Post!


About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Tinder

If Tinder Advertised Like eHarmony

December 10, 2014/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

Here at Coffee Meets Bagel, we’re proud to have intelligent users who are looking for something a bit more fulfilling than a one night stand. Did you know that more than 50 couples who met on Coffee Meets Bagel have gotten engaged or married since we launched in 2012?! Case in point, Tinder users are generally looking for something different than CMB users. (You can read more about this here.) We just couldn’t help but laugh at this spoof, it’s the perfect combination of humor and accuracy. Give it a gander!

If you liked this post, check out What Happened When We Tested 11 Different Male Profile Pictures.

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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facebook stalking

We're All Stalkers, Let's Just Admit It

November 13, 2014/in Date Stats, Date Tips, Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

It’s something that literally everyone who has a Facebook has been guilty of at some point — and it’s totally okay! This social phenomenon of Facebook stalking has interested me for several years now, to the point that I studied it in college. What I found was that the social acceptability of admitting that you’ve “stalked” someone is completely dependent on your offline relationship with them. It’s not at all weird to tell your best friend that you saw her pictures from a couple weeks ago, but it’s super weird  to tell an ex, or even just an acquaintance, that you know what they did last weekend. What would it be like to live in a world where this wasn’t strange behavior anymore? I mean, people post things on their profiles for other people to see, right? Isn’t that the point?

 
If you liked this post, check out 6 Ways to Start a Conversation With Just About Anyone.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Online Dating Statistics

Guys, How Well Do You Actually Know Women?

November 6, 2014/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

A few weeks ago, we asked all you dashing gentlemen to answer some questions about what you think you know about your date’s behavior, and the results are in! Take a look at what we found out; some of the results might even shock you. It turns out that most women prefer their date dresses casually as opposed to super fancy, and a sense of humor is by far the most important quality in a partner to both men and women. Do you think you’re a dating pro? A lady-whisperer? Check out what other dudes thought about these common dating signals below and see how you stack up against what the ladies actually said, then let us know what you think!
Online Dating Statistics For Him
Curious as to what ladies think of the signals you send them? Click here to see how well they really understand you!


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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3 Ways To Get Your Crush To Message You Back

October 8, 2014/in Date Tips, For Her, For Him /by Guest Blogger

Often with online dating, we wait to message someone because we are hunting for the perfect opener. An hour goes by… then a day… then a couple more… and then, wait! Is it too late to message now? Cue the wallowing in self-pity and hail Mary message that reeks of panic and desperation.
Analysis paralysis is very real in online dating.
While there are highly-optimized and better message options than the “Hey” “Sup bb” and “how r u”s of the world (Refer to my CMB book or contact me for more detail, of course), there is never going to be a message or opener that will live up to the expectations that you are placing on it. It’s something I run into with my clients constantly – they want to intrigue, attract, charm, seduce, and stand out all in one first message to their intended paramours. This is natural, because we know that online dating is a numbers game to some extent, and you have to make the biggest impact you can in the shortest amount of time possible. But in reality, those messages end up being so twisted and contrived that they are tossed by the wayside and have a far lower success rate than you’d think. So how exactly should you write your first message, and what should you be aiming to do with it?
It’s simple. Dial back your expectations and don’t try to be Don Juan and Fabio rolled up into one message. Your first message has one singular purpose – to get a reply.
This falls squarely in the gray area between “Hi bb” and a novella with an intro, thesis, and conclusion. Whether you want to accomplish that by…:
(1) commenting on a common interest – Favorite Coachella performance? I can never get over Daft Punk in ’07.
(2) asking about a regional event – Did you brave that ramen festival over the weekend? Longest lines ever.
(3) relating a mini-story about how her dog reminds you of your own dog food – The first time I took my dog to the beach, he stayed in the water for 3 hours straight… are our dogs related?
… that’s up to you. But see how those 3 openers are pretty much as organic a way to begin a conversation as the medium allows, and  relatively short? Remember, people look for personal connections through online dating, just as they do in real life. Now that we’ve got our first message taken care of, click over to find out exactly how to message to ask her out!
Read more from Patrick at Patrick King Consulting, and check out his best-selling CMB-focused online dating book on Amazon.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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hot online dating profile

16 Flaws Men Will Ignore On A Hot Girl's Dating Profile

September 25, 2014/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

It’s nothing personal, dudes, but it appears that you may be a little bit less, errr… picky than the ladies? I mean, if ladies who talk negatively about their supportive parents, hate “the news,” and don’t brush their teeth are what you’re into, then by all means, go for it. But, something tells me the majority of men wouldn’t ask a woman on a second date if she had shared her affinity for “farting on homeless people” on their first date. Don’t let your nether-region’s reaction to those bathing suit pics choose your bagels for you, gents! (However, I think it’s safe to say none of us lady bagels are quite like UrMomKissesLikeUrDad).

All we’re saying is to give all your bagels a fair chance, and maybe don’t tolerate a girl who lists “keeping america white” under her likes just because you think she’s hot, because racism is not hot at all.
Via: Cracked.

Did you like this post? Check out 27 Tips From Jenna Marbles To Help You Suck Less At Dating for more advice.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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online dating isn't weird

Online Dating Is Only Weird Because You're Making It Weird

September 18, 2014/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

I won’t lie, when people first started online dating in the early 2000’s, it was a bit weird. However, this was during the days when most people were convinced that everyone on the Internet was secretly a serial killer, and now, 14 years later, we know that isn’t even remotely true. Online dating isn’t weird anymore, and Gaby Dunn is here to tell you why.

Via: BuzzFeed Check out more from Gaby Dunn on her website, YouTube Channel and Twitter!

Did you like this post? Check out If The Character On “Friends” Were On Coffee Meets Bagel for more advice.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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If The Characters of FRIENDS Had Online Dating Profiles

August 29, 2014/in Date Stories /by Guest Blogger

In a way, our generation has it easy. We don’t have to get dressed up and go out to meet someone. We can open an app on our phone and find men or women who fit our specifications with a swipe of a finger. But with this ease comes a sense of complacency and even boredom. Will our children really want to watch a TV show online in which the characters do nothing but stare at their phones all day? Dating is a part of many classic TV shows, but how would they function in our current online era?
I was fortunate enough to have a college roommate who owned the entire Friends series on DVD. Suffice to say, we spent many a lazy Tuesday evening or hungover Sunday morning watching episode after episode of the Central Perk gang. I’m too young to remember “The Rachel” hairstyle when it was in its prime, but thanks to those DVDs I can quote the character nearly verbatim. I’m using this special talent to bring you the abbreviated Coffee Meets Bagel dating profiles* of your six favorite Manhattan residents who live in apartments they could never afford—and would never have to leave, if they met all of their potential paramours through their phones.
*not the exact format, but does anyone really care where Ross got his education?
ross
Name: Ross Geller
Location: the nearest museum
Occupation: Doctor (of paleontology)
I am…
An expert on the mesozoic era. An excellent dancer (just ask my sister about “the routine”). A master of ka-raa-tay.
I like…
Dinosaurs. Thanksgiving sandwiches. Getting married. (Just kidding! Or am I?)
I appreciate when my date…
Doesn’t turn out to be a lesbian. Understands the definition of “on a break.” Is Rachel.
monica
Name: Monica Geller
Location: the cleanest kitchen
Occupation: Chef
I am…
Competitive. Clean. Competitive about cleanliness.
I like…
Cooking for my friends. Beating my neighbors at foosball. Organizing my towels (everyday use, fancy, guest, fancy guest, etc.).
I appreciate when my date…
Doesn’t sacrifice our relationship to become an Ultimate Fighting Champion. Has a sarcastic sense of humor that might originally mask our attraction to one another.
chandler
Name: Chandler Bing
Location: my office
Occupation: Don’t worry, none of my friends know
I am…
Not sure why I’m here. Could online dating BE any more awkward?
I like…
My leather reclining chair. Sarcasm. Or do I?
I appreciate when my date…
Doesn’t say “Oh. My. God.” Is actually related to my best friend.
phoebe
Name: Phoebe Buffay
Location: somewhere with my guitar
Occupation: Massage therapist/Musician
I am…
A vegetarian. The artist who brought you “Smelly Cat.” A twin but I don’t want to talk about it.
I like…
Driving my grandmother’s taxi. Giving advice to my friends. Introducing myself as Regina Phalange.
I appreciate it when my date…
Isn’t just going out with me to a get a green card, though I might marry you if you need one. Will scratch me if I have chicken pox. Looks like Paul Rudd.
joey
Name: Joey Tribbiani
Location: looking in someone else’s refrigerator
Occupation: Actor
I am…
Dr. Drake Ramoray. Brother to seven sisters and you better not make out with one of them and then forget which one it was. Hungry.
I like…
Meatball subs sandwiches. The chick and the duck. Performing wedding ceremonies for my friends.
I appreciate it when my date…
Can answer the question How you doin’?
rachel
Name: Rachel Green
Location: Monica’s apartment
Occupation: Professional in the fashion industry
I am…
A former sorority sister. A questionable cook (how was I supposed to know beef doesn’t go in an English trifle?). Stylish—have you seen my haircut?
I like…
Shopping. Moving in with my various friends. Getting off of planes.
I appreciate it when my date…
Wears a red sweater. Doesn’t use excuses like “we were on a break.” Is Ross.

If you liked this post, check out more by this author.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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How To Stay Grounded When Online Dating

August 25, 2014/in Date Tips, For Her, For Him /by Guest Blogger

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that many of you are confident, fairly attractive people who are well-rounded and pretty independent. You can likely make at least one person laugh really hard, and have probably been complimented on some facet of your personality. I’m sure you also have very good taste in food, pretty good taste in music, and you’re very secure in your identity. (If more than these, niiice. I like your confidence.)
Regardless of if you have never dated before, if you’ve been bagel biting left and right for some time, or you just moved to a new city and need an easy way to meet people, I’d like to create a space where we can be encouraged in our relationships. Which can be tough. Real tough. Like telling a diehard Texan that they have to move out of the great country of Texas, or teaching your new puppy who hates water to jump in the lake. Tough, but fun, and makes for great stories.
Here’s a few tips and encouragement I have for the online dater (or the skeptic who’s considering):

Get over the idea that online dating isn’t a “real way” to meet people. 

Often online dating is perceived as kind of “last resort” (don’t look at me, I just heard it) or maybe you’ve somehow formed a stigma attached to online dating (Everyone’s a creep! I’m not desperate! It’s too public!). For several reasons you’d prefer to meet people “the real way:” at a yoga class or at the gym, through a campus organization or hobby, during boring party conversation over beer pong with other attractive people in the room (subjective), or frequenting a certain coffeeshop or bookstore way, way too many times. Consider this: we live in the most connected, technologically advanced period of time that has ever existed, and online dating is just one of the many mediums to meet friends and potential dates. No one will force you, but people do meet online and end up lovin’ each other, so it could be worth a try.

Expect that you will need to invest some time.

Chances are you’re used to doing things on your own time, talking about yourself, not being vulnerable on the internet (I don’t blame you these days), and quite possibly never having to try to sum yourself up upon first glance for a stranger to size up. It’s nice to have no chance of rejection, especially if you’re not that hot about one-on-one’s, but investment can lead to great reward. Postpone catching up on Mad Men or caring (but not really caring) about others on social media for a few hours. You may be sacrificing your time on dates without the promise of a successful relationship, but it can be worth it. And when it is, you’ll be glad you did invest that time.

Try to learn something from each date.

Chances are that if you’re messaging and haven’t met up yet, you’ll need motivation to keep talking to someone you only know through limited exchanges. Don’t run with an imagined idea of who they are, but the beginning of any friendship or relationship stems from a bit of interest and without knowing if the relationship or even friendship will work out. Either way, you’ll gain something from it – if not a connection, then a good date. If not a good date, then perhaps clarity on what you would consider a good date, or new knowledge about yourself: something you found attractive, an issue more important than you thought, or how you responded to a certain question or type of person. If anything, even a reason to realize you like being single for now (because let’s admit- it’s great to be single). And that’s ok.

Remind yourself what a date is.

The word “date” is such a loaded word. There are so many societal expectations and constructs that revolve around that particular word, but how I’d describe one is as simple as this: two solid individuals choosing to get to know each other. If you’re having trouble going on dates for a variety of legitimate reasons and would like to, a site like CMB is perfect for those hesitant or dipping their toes back into dating – one match a day, a simple like or pass. Dating is a perfect closed situation to practice social and relational skills and an opportunity to be polite and even to encourage someone else, wherever they are in dating. Initially, it can be a little unnerving to put your profile up, but just remember: no one person can be summed up in a few sentences or even by a mutual friend. Go at your own pace, and try to have fun. Because you know, dates are fun.

Stay Open.

A while ago, it took months for me to realize I really wasn’t as open as I thought at a point when deciding if I was ready to date again. It may be easy to originally reject all potentials that come your way, but if there’s no glaring reason to say no, why not give it a shot (or an hour at most)? A good friend advised me to try to find something that I like about the person I’m on a date with. I know way too many couples in serious relationships or married now that originally thought their spouse was totally out of the question (Ooh, wouldn’t this be fun to share details on? A learning experience for both parties, no doubt). Certainly no one will make you go on dates, but I think a great learning experience is dating outside of your “type,” depending on where you’re at, no matter how painful that sounds.

Everyone is in a different place.

Someone might be learning how to be better at one-on-one conversation. Some people might just be looking for a fun way to spend an evening. Some people might seem like they’re open to a long-term relationship, but actually interested in a short-term relationship. Some people may have been on so many dates, that they’re (unfortunately) a bit blasé about your time together. Going on a few casual dates has really just reminded me that everyone is in a different place. You don’t really know where they (or you, sometimes) are until you chat with them, and if you’re newly dating, you might find yourself attracted to or forming certain goals throughout dating that you’ve never considered before. Learn how to read people and communicate directly, acknowledge your date as a person, and grow from it. This is for you to figure where you’re at, too!

Overall, why date online?

I’ve got great friends that are fabulous, healthy, responsible, active, have wonderful families, a blast to be around, dedicated to their hobbies, and people I admire dearly who have a hard time getting outside of their immediate circles. I do think that there’s something everyone can learn from specifically online dating in being open (at least for a period of time). You might meet someone special, become much better at interacting socially with others on a one-on-one basis, be more open to being set up by friends afterward, or even just learn more about yourself (maybe confirming online dating isn’t for you, and that’s ok).
Did you agree or disagree with any of these? Other interesting points you realized about relationships when considering dating, actually dating right now, being engaged, or after getting married?
Feel free to tweet me about it if you’d like! If you liked this post, check out more date tips on CMB.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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