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Meet the Bagels of Toronto

September 9, 2015/in Date Stories /by Audrie Thompson

With over 2.6 million people, Toronto is the largest city in Canada. This means that there are hundreds of thousands of people looking for love – thousands of whom, like you, are on Coffee Meets Bagel! Not to mention that Toronto is also full of some of the brightest, most interesting, and unique individuals.
From time to time, we will be highlighting some of these fine folks for you to get to know better. Take a few minutes and meet two of your very own – Denise & Jaime.
DeniseChow_TopProfile_Toronto
JaimeCazes_TP
Know any cool Torontonians on Coffee Meets Bagel we should feature? Let us know at [email protected]!


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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San Francisco’s 5 Most Eligible Bagels

July 29, 2015/in Dating in SF /by Audrie Thompson

Let’s face it – dating in San Francisco can be difficult. Whether it’s because people lack proper dating etiquette, or relationships start as quickly as they end — it’s pretty easy to run into some obstacles while on your quest to find your Everything Bagel. That’s not to say that you can’t or won’t. In fact, San Francisco is home to some of the most attractive, successful, and interesting people.
Here’s a taste of our most eligible bachelors & bachelorettes in the City by the Bay. Flip through and meet five of your fellow CMB San Franciscans as they reveal their hidden talents, best date stories, and more!
[URIS id=12849]


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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New York’s 5 Most Eligible Bagels

July 26, 2015/in Dating in NYC /by Audrie Thompson

Someone once told me that what makes New York City the perfect place for dating is also what makes it the worst: there are simply too many options. As a large, thriving cosmopolitan city with over 8 million inhabitants, New York is a smorgasbord of hundreds and thousands of singles ready to mingle. All in all, this city is a love story waiting to happen. What better place for some of the most brilliant, successful, and seriously good-looking singles to fall in love than New York?
Here’s a taste of some of the most interesting, intelligent, and fun individuals in this city that never sleeps. Flip through and meet 5 of your fellow CMB New Yorkers as they reveal their hidden talents, best date stories, and more! [URIS id=12876]


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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dating an asshole

Finally! The Scientific Reason Why So Many Women Are Attracted To Assholes

January 7, 2015/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

It’s only logical to be attracted to kind people. However, it is also common knowledge that a lot of people go through a stage in their life where they keep finding themselves attracted to assholes (note that I use this term equally for men and women). Why oh why do we keep doing this to ourselves?! Well, thanks to studies conducted by social psychologists from the Interdisciplinary Center Herzliya, the University of Rochester, and the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, we finally have some insight as to why the heck this is such a common problem, especially for straight women.
First, let me specify what exactly I mean when I say “asshole” in the context of this study. Obviously, this is not a scientific term; formally, the studies measured how attractive the opposite sex is to “responsive” people. “A responsive person is one that is supportive of another’s needs and goals,” explains Jen Stantisi, a writer for The Society of Personality and Social Psychology. Therefore:

asshole \as-ˌ(h)ōl\ n.  non-responsive; person who plays hard to get; person not outwardly expressive of their attraction to another

Being responsive to your partner is wildly important to a successful relationship — both emotionally and in the bedroom — but is it attractive from the get-go? At least for women, the answer seems to be a resounding “no.”
The study paired up men and women with a “responsive” and “non-responsive” partner and had them interact (you know, like a first date). After the interaction, the participants were asked to rate how masculine or feminine they perceived their partner to be, followed by how sexually attracted to them they were. Guess what?

Men rated their responsive female partners as more feminine and therefore more attractive. Women, however, did not find their responsive partners particularly masculine or feminine – and worse yet, being responsive was marginally but negatively associated with how attractive they found their male partner.

Yes, you read that right: the less responsive guys were (i.e. the bigger of an asshat they were), the more attractive women found them.
Ladies, how many times have you whined to your girl friends about how long it’s taken for a guy to text you back after a first or second date? Thousands, right? So, we have to admit that our alleged attraction to their evasive behavior is totally illogical. I mean, I get it, men are confusing; you have a great time on a date and when you text him afterwards, he seems weirdly nonchalant about it. But, as much as we hate to admit it, or whether or not we realize it, many of us enjoy the chase. As a feminist, this is disappointing for me to admit, but I like the challenge, finally “winning a guy over” gives me a confidence boost that I can’t find many other places. In reality, I think us ladies really do hate the chasing aspect of it, but we love finally catching up — even if we’re totally out of breath and exhausted.
Men, on the other hand, love being chased — it gives them what I assume to be a similar confidence boost to the one women get when the chase is over. And since women secretly (or not so secretly) like to do the chasing (or at least the catching up), and men like to be chased, it’s only logical that men would continue to behave in a way that makes women feel like they have to “chase” him.
Being open about your feelings in a budding relationship can be scary. Chances are, you’ve been hurt before and your first instinct is to protect yourself and your heart. However, what this study shows us, and what men may not realize, is that a woman’s ability to be open and honest about her feelings is attractive to men. Responsiveness (openness, empathy, kindness) are qualities that men innately look for in women. The study even shows that men find responsive, (therefore more feminine) women more sexually desirable.  We’ve all heard the theory that men love the “mean girls” — there’s a bestselling book called “Why Men Love Bitches” for Pete’s sake — but thankfully this study shows us that’s not true after all!
While the study explicitly asked women if they saw responsive men as less masculine and the common answer was no, it’s my personal opinion and experience that this isn’t quite accurate. Women I know, myself included, are often turned off by men that we see as effeminate, and unfortunately, because I think a lot of women see men who show their emotions right off the bat (responsive men) as feminine, we are less attracted to them. You could argue that this is simply basic human instinct; women search for strong, masculine men because they are likely to gather the most food and protect the group or family the best, ensuring the female and her offspring’s survival. Unfortunately, in our society, being masculine (or unfeminine at least) is often equated with being an asshole.
With a background in social psychology, I can’t say I’m surprised that I’m not alone in my hypothesis. Professor Gurit Birnbuam, lead researcher in this study, agrees.

Women may perceive [a responsive] person as inappropriately nice and manipulative (i.e., trying to obtain sexual favors) or eager to please, perhaps even as desperate, and therefore less sexually appealing. Alternatively, women may perceive a responsive man as vulnerable and less dominant.

But dudes, don’t take this as an excuse to be an asshole. Acting casual is different than being non-responsive. And ladies, don’t ever stop being honest about your feelings. While some might fear that this will make them seem “crazy,” — I hate when people call me that for being honest about my feelings — men actually find it more attractive. Bottom line, confidence is the sexiest trait you can find in any partner, man or woman, so be as casual as you want, but be confident in yourself, your desires, and your feelings for the people you meet. Trust me, it’s a lot easier than beating around the bush.
If you liked this post, check out Is Watching Porn When You’re In A Relationship Cheating?


About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a dating app designed with women in mind. Founded by 3 sisters in 2012 in NYC, CMB aims to deliver a fun, safe, and quality dating experience that results in meaningful relationships.

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online dating isn't weird

Online Dating Is Only Weird Because You're Making It Weird

September 18, 2014/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

I won’t lie, when people first started online dating in the early 2000’s, it was a bit weird. However, this was during the days when most people were convinced that everyone on the Internet was secretly a serial killer, and now, 14 years later, we know that isn’t even remotely true. Online dating isn’t weird anymore, and Gaby Dunn is here to tell you why.

Via: BuzzFeed Check out more from Gaby Dunn on her website, YouTube Channel and Twitter!

Did you like this post? Check out If The Character On “Friends” Were On Coffee Meets Bagel for more advice.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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How To Stay Grounded When Online Dating

August 25, 2014/in Date Tips, For Her, For Him /by Guest Blogger

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that many of you are confident, fairly attractive people who are well-rounded and pretty independent. You can likely make at least one person laugh really hard, and have probably been complimented on some facet of your personality. I’m sure you also have very good taste in food, pretty good taste in music, and you’re very secure in your identity. (If more than these, niiice. I like your confidence.)
Regardless of if you have never dated before, if you’ve been bagel biting left and right for some time, or you just moved to a new city and need an easy way to meet people, I’d like to create a space where we can be encouraged in our relationships. Which can be tough. Real tough. Like telling a diehard Texan that they have to move out of the great country of Texas, or teaching your new puppy who hates water to jump in the lake. Tough, but fun, and makes for great stories.
Here’s a few tips and encouragement I have for the online dater (or the skeptic who’s considering):

Get over the idea that online dating isn’t a “real way” to meet people. 

Often online dating is perceived as kind of “last resort” (don’t look at me, I just heard it) or maybe you’ve somehow formed a stigma attached to online dating (Everyone’s a creep! I’m not desperate! It’s too public!). For several reasons you’d prefer to meet people “the real way:” at a yoga class or at the gym, through a campus organization or hobby, during boring party conversation over beer pong with other attractive people in the room (subjective), or frequenting a certain coffeeshop or bookstore way, way too many times. Consider this: we live in the most connected, technologically advanced period of time that has ever existed, and online dating is just one of the many mediums to meet friends and potential dates. No one will force you, but people do meet online and end up lovin’ each other, so it could be worth a try.

Expect that you will need to invest some time.

Chances are you’re used to doing things on your own time, talking about yourself, not being vulnerable on the internet (I don’t blame you these days), and quite possibly never having to try to sum yourself up upon first glance for a stranger to size up. It’s nice to have no chance of rejection, especially if you’re not that hot about one-on-one’s, but investment can lead to great reward. Postpone catching up on Mad Men or caring (but not really caring) about others on social media for a few hours. You may be sacrificing your time on dates without the promise of a successful relationship, but it can be worth it. And when it is, you’ll be glad you did invest that time.

Try to learn something from each date.

Chances are that if you’re messaging and haven’t met up yet, you’ll need motivation to keep talking to someone you only know through limited exchanges. Don’t run with an imagined idea of who they are, but the beginning of any friendship or relationship stems from a bit of interest and without knowing if the relationship or even friendship will work out. Either way, you’ll gain something from it – if not a connection, then a good date. If not a good date, then perhaps clarity on what you would consider a good date, or new knowledge about yourself: something you found attractive, an issue more important than you thought, or how you responded to a certain question or type of person. If anything, even a reason to realize you like being single for now (because let’s admit- it’s great to be single). And that’s ok.

Remind yourself what a date is.

The word “date” is such a loaded word. There are so many societal expectations and constructs that revolve around that particular word, but how I’d describe one is as simple as this: two solid individuals choosing to get to know each other. If you’re having trouble going on dates for a variety of legitimate reasons and would like to, a site like CMB is perfect for those hesitant or dipping their toes back into dating – one match a day, a simple like or pass. Dating is a perfect closed situation to practice social and relational skills and an opportunity to be polite and even to encourage someone else, wherever they are in dating. Initially, it can be a little unnerving to put your profile up, but just remember: no one person can be summed up in a few sentences or even by a mutual friend. Go at your own pace, and try to have fun. Because you know, dates are fun.

Stay Open.

A while ago, it took months for me to realize I really wasn’t as open as I thought at a point when deciding if I was ready to date again. It may be easy to originally reject all potentials that come your way, but if there’s no glaring reason to say no, why not give it a shot (or an hour at most)? A good friend advised me to try to find something that I like about the person I’m on a date with. I know way too many couples in serious relationships or married now that originally thought their spouse was totally out of the question (Ooh, wouldn’t this be fun to share details on? A learning experience for both parties, no doubt). Certainly no one will make you go on dates, but I think a great learning experience is dating outside of your “type,” depending on where you’re at, no matter how painful that sounds.

Everyone is in a different place.

Someone might be learning how to be better at one-on-one conversation. Some people might just be looking for a fun way to spend an evening. Some people might seem like they’re open to a long-term relationship, but actually interested in a short-term relationship. Some people may have been on so many dates, that they’re (unfortunately) a bit blasé about your time together. Going on a few casual dates has really just reminded me that everyone is in a different place. You don’t really know where they (or you, sometimes) are until you chat with them, and if you’re newly dating, you might find yourself attracted to or forming certain goals throughout dating that you’ve never considered before. Learn how to read people and communicate directly, acknowledge your date as a person, and grow from it. This is for you to figure where you’re at, too!

Overall, why date online?

I’ve got great friends that are fabulous, healthy, responsible, active, have wonderful families, a blast to be around, dedicated to their hobbies, and people I admire dearly who have a hard time getting outside of their immediate circles. I do think that there’s something everyone can learn from specifically online dating in being open (at least for a period of time). You might meet someone special, become much better at interacting socially with others on a one-on-one basis, be more open to being set up by friends afterward, or even just learn more about yourself (maybe confirming online dating isn’t for you, and that’s ok).
Did you agree or disagree with any of these? Other interesting points you realized about relationships when considering dating, actually dating right now, being engaged, or after getting married?
Feel free to tweet me about it if you’d like! If you liked this post, check out more date tips on CMB.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Pokemon

9 Stages of Getting Over Rejection

July 29, 2014/in Date Tips /by Guest Blogger

 
You could get rejected because you went up and asked someone out.
Or they decided after the first date that you two weren’t a good match.
Heck, maybe even after four months of seeing each other, the person says he/she doesn’t want to see you anymore.
 
You’re completely confused.
confused what did i do wrong
 
But above all, you’re heartbroken.
Ariel heartbroken
 
Of course it’s natural to feel sad. But you cope and you move on.
 
1) Admit defeat.
This person is never going to ask you out. Or, if you guys have,  never ever again.
useless and disappointing
 
2) Nurse your bruised ego.
nurse bruised ego
 
3) Rant to your friends.
rant ugly llama
 
4) Realize at least he/she was honest.
rejection better than fake promise
 
5) Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

 
6) Rejection is a blessing in disguise.
Someone better will come along.

 
7) Just keep being you.
There’s nothing you can do about a rejection.

 
8) You’re free!
Elsa I'm Free
 
9) Enjoy being young, single, and happy while you can!
Single young happy
 
Another reason to be happy to be single? Check out If Guys Acted on First Dates Like They Do on Tinder.
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort. App Store

9 Stages of Falling in Love

9 Stages of Falling In Love

July 23, 2014/in Date Stories /by Guest Blogger

Stage 1: You spot a cute person for the first time: BAM! pug double take
 
Stage 2: Being shy as hell. Shy kitty
But it’s all worth it if you muster up courage and talk to the person. If the initial meeting goes well, you might be asked for a first date.
 
Stage 3: OMG! I’m going on a date!
Excited for 2nd date
 
Stage 4: Five hours in front of the mirror.
bunny makeup bunny accessories
 
Stage 5: The awkward first date cat and parrot first date
 
Stage 6: The even more awkward first kiss first kiss chinchilla
 
Stage 7: Things get more fun.
goofy puppy and kitty
 
Stage 8: It’s time for that starry-doe-eyed look.
very happy bunnies
 
 
Stage 9: Now all you need is a couch for you two. 

 
Hopefully it’ll last!

 
Speaking of animals, perhaps you’ll be interested in The Biological Reasons Why She or He is Not That Into You.
 
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort. App Store

Vivien Leigh bitchface

7 Creepy Things Guys Have Told Me on First Dates #ThisHappened

June 4, 2014/in Date Tips, For Him /by Guest Blogger

 
It’s one thing to get creepy messages from guys online, but in real life? And on the first date? Gentlemen, there is a time and place for salacious sayings, but not when we’ve just met, because as opposed to friend-zoning you, we ladies are going to creep-zone you.
For those of you endowed with the Y chromosome, please take heed of my tip and avoid saying anything as remotely unwelcoming as these sampling of creeptastic statements I’ve received upon first meetings.
 
1) “I’ve been to the red-light district in San Francisco.”
Harry Potter I really don't care
Less than ten minutes later, after we stepped out of the boba shop, he asked me where I was headed off to.
I responded with a question: “Which way are YOU heading?”
He pointed East.
I pointed West.
We shook hands and made no attempt to ever get in contact ever again.
 
2) “When I went to Amsterdam for a conference with my professor and fellow Master’s candidates, I figured this was the only time in my life I’d be single while in Amsterdam, so I went to go to the red-light district and got a blow job.”
Ariel grossed out
What is up with me running into another guy who went to a red light district? And the bonus to this date? When the campus bell tower rang nine times (for context, we were both on the UC Berkeley campus, and it was nighttime), he told me, “Well, I gotta get back home and finish my presentation for tomorrow!” He hugged me good-bye before running off. Really? He didn’t feel the need to walk me home to make sure I didn’t get killed on the way?
 
3) “Have you ever thought of being a camgirl?”
Hermione stabbing you
Is that your way of trying to compliment me by telling me I’m so sexy, I should show off my goods on the internet? If so, you failed to flatter me.
 
4) “I’ve never been with an Asian girl before!”
Lucy Liu
NO, I am not a sampling platter of exotic Oriental fares. Get away from me.
 
5) “I kinda got erect hugging you!”
Katy Perry shoo
Did I really need to know that?
 
6) “What do you think of rape play?”
What the Hell!!
Wait, we just met, and you’re bringing up this topic?
 
7) “Making out is for kids, oral is for adults.”
Asian girl I will destroy you
The gif above is pretty self-explanatory.
 
Ladies, do you have any creeptastic things guys have told you that you would like to share?  Gentlemen, have YOU had any unforward comments made by girls?
 
If you enjoyed this post, perhaps you’ll want to read 13 Game of Thrones Reactions to Online Dating.
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.
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first date expectations

My First Dates: What I Think Will Happen vs. What Actually Happens

June 2, 2014/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

I’ve gone on plenty of first dates, and I generally go in with expectations. But even though I’ve had flops, I still enjoyed them. Sure, some of these “reality” points are exaggerated, but don’t let that stop you from having a good time, or at least obtain a story you can now retell to crack up your friends over lunch.

1) When You Decide on What to Wear

Expectation:
first date expectations--dressing up
Reality:
first date expectations--reality

2) When You Make Your Way to the Date

Expectation:
getting to the date--expectations
Reality:
getting to the date--reality

3) When You Finally Meet Your Date in Person

Expectation from the photos:
meeting the date in person--expectations
Reality once you meet in person:
meeting the date in person--expectations

4) When You Start Talking To Each Other

Expectation:
first date conversations--expectations
Reality:
first date conversations--reality

5) When You’re Going for a Kiss

Expectation:
the kiss--expectations
Reality:
the kiss--reality

6) When You’re Wondering If You’ll Text After the Date

Expectation:
post date text--expectations
Reality: He/she never texts…
post date text--reality
 
But, hey, at least I’m putting myself out there and meeting people. After all, you have to kiss a bunch of frogs before you kiss a prince, so at least I’m happy I’m gaining experience out there!
Mickey Dancing
Speaking of texting, are you guilty of any of these 5 texting mistakes? If you are, learn how to fix your mistake by reading Five Texting Mistakes That I’ve Made and Don’t Want You to Make. About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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