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Jennifer Lawrence Quotes

14 Celebrities Get Real, And Really Funny, About The Dating Game

February 13, 2015/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

Celebrities are known for being caught saying really stupid things like “I know it’s tuna, but it says ‘Chicken of the Sea,” or thinking that they sell walls at Walmart, but we found a few of them who actually have some pretty clever (and accurate) things to say about dating. I love Miley and Frank’s advice. And Emma Stone is just perfect.


Chelsea Handler Quotes


Rob Delaney Quotes


Miley Cyrus Quotes


Kanye West Quotes


Jennifer Lawrence Quotes


Jason Schwartzman Quotes


Will Ferrell Quotes


Mindy Kaling Quotes


Stephen Colbert Quotes


Kevin Hart Quotes


Conan O'Brien Quotes


Frank Ocean Quotes


Adam Sandler Quotes


Emma Stone Quotes
If you liked this post, check out 9 Most Ridiculous Messages Women Have Received On Dating Apps (For Real).


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Kiss and Tell

On Kissing 100 Boys… And Counting

January 31, 2015/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

I am a crazy person, and I will be the first to admit it. I’m the kind of crazy that documents everything, saves the stupidest little things from the most mundane days of her life, writes about things most people wouldn’t remember an hour later — essentially I’m obsessed with memories, or just remembering. I have a flower made out of tissue paper and a pipe cleaner that one of my best friends made me in 6th grade. I’m still wearing the wrist band from a music festival I went to in July of 2013. I have pretty much everything my ex-boyfriend ever gave me (including a log that he drunkenly decided would be a good gift to leave in my dorm room one night). Some people have accused me of being a hoarder, but others are amazed at the random things I can remember about my past. I take pride in my sentimentality, in remembering the tiny details of everything, in caring enough to want to remember, even if it can be a bit over the top. I think it might come with the territory of being a writer.
But it’s not just objects that I hoard; I also hoard memories and information that will help me remember my past. This is where the real “crazy” comes out. I think it’s a pretty normal thing for a girl to have a list of all the people she’s slept with lying around somewhere – at least I know a lot of people who have one. But again, from a young age I took this practice a bit farther than the average girl and have kept a running list of every guy I have ever kissed in my entire life, since I was 11 years old. I mean, every. single. one. From middle school on, this list is everywhere from spin the bottle encounters to my first love. I eventually transferred the list to my computer, which recently crashed and while I was transferring my files, I came across it. Having been in a serious relationship for the past two and a half years until quite recently, I’ve had no real reason to look at it for a while. But break ups happen and then drinking happens and then making out with boys you meet at the bar happens, so I had to add a name to the list. When I noticed how absurdly long the list was, I decided to count the names, and I counted 100, exactly. I mean, first of all, what are the odds that I happened to count them at that very point in time, and not after the next boy I kiss? Also, to be clear, I have no shame in admitting that I’ve kissed this many people – kissing is fun.
This list is absurd — almost as absurd as the fact that I have somehow kept up with it for 12 years. But wait, I’m even crazier than you already think I am! Not only have I kept this list, but I’ve put symbols next to some of the names to indicate certain things about the situation. But now I’m looking at this list of 100 men (mostly boys, really) that I’ve touched lips with and it is a TRIP. Partially because there are a handful that I have absolutely no idea who they are, there are a few that are listed as “dude from party at Alex’s,” or something along those lines, and there are some (more than I care to admit) that my only response to remembering them is “what was I thinking?!” And then there are the ones who I wish were still in the habit of kissing me.
So before I start giving the time of day to these boys individually, recounting the good, the bad, and the ugly of all of these encounters, I thought it would be funny to look for patterns in the list. Yeah, it’s a little ridiculous, but I have honestly never had more fun analyzing any kind of data before in my life.
Kissing 100 boys
Thus begins the saga of the last 12 years of my kissing history. Over the next, well, however long it takes me to get through 100 boys, I’ll be writing my way through this list. So, if you’ve ever kissed me, consider yourself officially warned; I will be writing about you — even if I don’t remember your name. Stay Tuned!
If you liked this post, check out 13 Reasons I’m Convinced That Taylor Swift Is Stalking Me.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Tinder

If Tinder Advertised Like eHarmony

December 10, 2014/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

Here at Coffee Meets Bagel, we’re proud to have intelligent users who are looking for something a bit more fulfilling than a one night stand. Did you know that more than 50 couples who met on Coffee Meets Bagel have gotten engaged or married since we launched in 2012?! Case in point, Tinder users are generally looking for something different than CMB users. (You can read more about this here.) We just couldn’t help but laugh at this spoof, it’s the perfect combination of humor and accuracy. Give it a gander!

If you liked this post, check out What Happened When We Tested 11 Different Male Profile Pictures.

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Is Watching Porn While You're In A Relationship Cheating?

December 4, 2014/in Date Tips, Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

Okay everyone, time to get real here. You watch porn. Your friends watch porn. Maybe you watch porn with your friends. It’s a weird thing, like pooping (weird comparison, I know, sorry), that everybody does, but for some reason, doesn’t talk about. So, assuming that you don’t talk openly about watching porn with your girlfriend — also assuming you don’t watch porn with your girlfriend — is it considered cheating? Some of the Elite Daily staff are here to put in their two cents on the topic.

If you liked this post, check out The Dark Side: Speed Dating Star Wars Style.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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iliza shlesinger

Think You Know A Girl’s Idea Of A Perfect Date? Think Again

November 20, 2014/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

Iliza Shlesinger, winner of season 6 of Last Comic Standing is, in my opinion, the most hilarious woman on the planet. She is blunt, she can be crass, but she is almost always on point. I’ve shown her full length comedy special to several people over the past year that it’s been on Netflix, and I have yet to find a single person, male or female, who doesn’t find her absolutely hysterical. Here’s a snippet of one of her shows at The Laugh Factory that might make you think twice when you’re planning your next date.

Here’s another suggestion: Take your date to one of her shows, or just snuggle up with your date and watch her special “Warpaint” on Netflix. (Bringing a bottle of the best red wine or two probably wouldn’t hurt either.)
If you liked this post, check out 27 Tips From Jenna Marbles To Help You Suck Less At Dating.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

App Store

hot online dating profile

16 Flaws Men Will Ignore On A Hot Girl's Dating Profile

September 25, 2014/in Funny & Videos /by Guest Blogger

It’s nothing personal, dudes, but it appears that you may be a little bit less, errr… picky than the ladies? I mean, if ladies who talk negatively about their supportive parents, hate “the news,” and don’t brush their teeth are what you’re into, then by all means, go for it. But, something tells me the majority of men wouldn’t ask a woman on a second date if she had shared her affinity for “farting on homeless people” on their first date. Don’t let your nether-region’s reaction to those bathing suit pics choose your bagels for you, gents! (However, I think it’s safe to say none of us lady bagels are quite like UrMomKissesLikeUrDad).

All we’re saying is to give all your bagels a fair chance, and maybe don’t tolerate a girl who lists “keeping america white” under her likes just because you think she’s hot, because racism is not hot at all.
Via: Cracked.

Did you like this post? Check out 27 Tips From Jenna Marbles To Help You Suck Less At Dating for more advice.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

App Store

9 Stages of Falling in Love

9 Stages of Falling In Love

July 23, 2014/in Date Stories /by Guest Blogger

Stage 1: You spot a cute person for the first time: BAM! pug double take
 
Stage 2: Being shy as hell. Shy kitty
But it’s all worth it if you muster up courage and talk to the person. If the initial meeting goes well, you might be asked for a first date.
 
Stage 3: OMG! I’m going on a date!
Excited for 2nd date
 
Stage 4: Five hours in front of the mirror.
bunny makeup bunny accessories
 
Stage 5: The awkward first date cat and parrot first date
 
Stage 6: The even more awkward first kiss first kiss chinchilla
 
Stage 7: Things get more fun.
goofy puppy and kitty
 
Stage 8: It’s time for that starry-doe-eyed look.
very happy bunnies
 
 
Stage 9: Now all you need is a couch for you two. 

 
Hopefully it’ll last!

 
Speaking of animals, perhaps you’ll be interested in The Biological Reasons Why She or He is Not That Into You.
 
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort. App Store

December 7, 2012/in Uncategorized /by CMB

Share if you still root for the nice guy!

Facebook Win

October 1, 2012/in CMB Says, Uncategorized /by CMB

This probably does not apply to anyone currently reading this post.
 

Last Week of Summer

September 17, 2012/in CMB Says, Uncategorized /by CMB

It’s the last official week of summer… who needs a gym now?

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