When you’re on the fence about your Bagel, be open-minded and give it a shot! You never know, he/she might be extraordinary and attractive when you meet in person ;)
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It may not be you, just your profile.
12:00pm rolls around and you get that email you’ve been waiting for-your Bagel is waiting for you!
But all that excitement is immediately killed when you open your email and see something like this-
I am FUN, OPTIMISTIC
I look HAPPY, JUST LIKE MY PICTURES
I like BASKETBALL
I appreciate when my date N/A
What’s with the scarcity in words? How are you supposed to figure out what kind of person he/she is with 5 details- if you even consider “fun” as being detailed? It is most likely you will pass on this Bagel not because he/she is bad person but just because there weren’t enough information on the profile.
So, let’s bring this scenario into your hands.
The first thing your match sees is your profile, so you want to have your profile truly represent yourself and being descriptive always helps. Why would you not want to tell people about yourself? This is your way of telling your Bagel you two may be a good match overall- if he/she is. If you do not have such information on your profile how will the Bagel know at all?
There are 2 big frequent reasons why people pass on their Bagels.
1. Poor picture quality
2. Not enough information
These two reasons have nothing to do about the actual Bagel behind the profile but more so due to the lack of and poor representation. This can and should change! Here are some suggestions to really make your profile “better” so your Bagels will not pass on you for such reasons.
<This is what your profile looks like. The top part is the easy part, so fill in accordingly!>
LET’S FIRST WORK ON YOUR PICTURES! We recommend that you upload at least 3 pictures of yourself that
1. shows your face (closeup)
2. shows what you like to do (maybe a picture of you playing basketball, golf, hanging out with your friends, but all that shows your face too)
3. shows not only your face but also your full body (just to show your height, general vibe you give off)
and you can throw in another picture just to give your Bagels a better idea and to show how attractive you are :) Also, it’s best if you put pictures you took within the last year or two. We’ve seen some people post pictures of themselves when they were back in high school. C’mon it’s most likely you don’t look like that anymore so let’s not give people the wrong impression.
NOW LET’S GO ON TO YOUR DESCRIPTION SECTION. Filling out CMB’s profile is pretty easy because we only require you to fill out 4 sections. Rather than using one word descriptions here are some suggestions to amp up your profile.
For I AM… (ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY)
– Tell people who you really are and what your friends say about you.
ex> straight talker who cannot hide my feelings, family-oriented, friendly and easy to approach
For I LOOK…(APPEARANCE)
– Something people cannot tell from your pictures
Ex> I am taller than I look in pictures (5’11”), People say I look younger than my age, more of a J Crew kind of guy
For I DO….(WHAT YOU LIKE TO DO)
– tell them what your hobbies, quirks, interest are
Ex> snowboarding and golfing, so I go on trips twice a year, reading the wikipedia, going to the museum, going camping, being spontaneous and taking random day trips
For DATING ETIQUETTE…(I APPRECIATE WHEN MY DATE)
– What are the deal breakers for you?
– What qualities do your man/woman MUST have?
– What makes a perfect date?
Ex> my date takes charge and plans ahead of time, isn’t afraid of going to new places and trying ethnic food on a first date, is comfortable and good at communicating
Not too hard, right? But you see the difference in being a little more descriptive in explaining yourself. If you put yourself on the other side, wouldn’t you feel more confident in PASSING or LIKING your Bagel if you actually read details about him/her?
We hope these small tips and advice encouraged you to review your profile and if you haven’t already add more details to it! Maybe some Bagels in the past passed you because they just didn’t know about you enough. So let’s prevent that from happening from now on.
Let’s step it up members and truly show others who you really are!
'Single' or 'In a Relationship'
‘Single’ or ‘In a Relationship’… does it really matter which one you put up as your Facebook status?
After reading an article on USA Today I’ve realized both singles and couples get involved in drama over Facebook’s relationship statuses. For singles, it’s a question of whether or not you indicate you’re single on your profile. Does it seem too desperate to say you’re single? Yet you want others to know you’re available, so what do you? For those who are in relationships, is it necessary to report to the whole world that you’re in a relationship? Maybe one person in the relationship wants to make it official by locking the other down on Facebook and the other person can think it’s unnecessary and immature.
Yet, if you are already in a relationship where your close family and friends already know of it, why wouldn’t you announce it on Facebook? It is just a Facebook update, right? I do understand dealing with random people’s comments under the status update can be annoying and time consuming but if your girlfriend or boyfriend really wants to show everyone you two are together why not do it?
I’ve seen so many people talk about Facebook’s relationship statuses and what it meant if somebody didn’t show their true status. I say, the best thing to do is not post your relationship status at all. That will eliminate all drama from the source!
What is your take on relationship status updates?
CMB Texting 101
Hello CMB members and FUTURE CMB members ;)
We text all the time- no biggie. However, when it comes to that first text you send to the Bagel you’re interested in, it becomes a different story where you pause and have to think for a bit.
You don’t want to come off as the boring one or be creepy and ask for drinks at 10:00pm. So how can you be friendly, approachable, and make a good first impression with your text? Here are some good and bad examples our team collected.
BAD
Hey. (Really? ..That’s a great conversation starter…really..)
Whaddup. (We’re grownups here. Let’s talk like one.)
Meet up for a drink? (This is fine after some actual talking, but this is comes off too abrupt. )
GOOD
Notre Dame! I was just in Indiana for work. How did you survive through the cold? ( Found a relevant topic to talk about- AWESOME!)
Your profile pic was so cute that I had to say hello. Can’t believe it’s almost spring again? Lets chat soon. (compliments the bagel in a sweet way and tries to get to know the person first)
Hello. I love to play golf as well even though it’s hard to do so in the city. Where are you from originally? (When you share the same hobby or interest it becomes a great conversation starter, and a potential date activity)
Hi I thought it would be great to meet up for coffee since we are both in Finance, but let’s talk about something else :) (Friendly and suggests that this meet up doesn’t have to entirely romantic. CMB can be a way to network as well.)
As you can see, mentioning your Bagel’s hobby and interest can be a easy way to start a conversation and you can have more fun with it. This is why it is so important to fill out your own profile and be descriptive of what you like to do and to tell the person a little more about yourself. Even your pictures. Don’t just put one picture, but maybe 2 or 3…or even 4 pictures of your face and yourself doing some interesting activity. These are all good conversation starters and gives a better sense of who you are to the other person. Wouldn’t you want to see such information on your Bagel’s profile rather than one picture and no other information?
There are many other ways to say ,”Hello” to your bagel. Hopefully these examples were helpful and inspired you to send a text that makes your bagel want to talk to you more.
Good luck fellow CMB members!
What Men Think: Professing His Love Sex, Love & Life: glamour.com
So much thought and drama around those 3 simple words, “I”, “Love” and “You”.
What men think when it comes to saying I Love you.
should we text or talk on the phone?
A good number of my friends are on board and are loving Coffee Meets Bagel- not because I’ve brain washed them with it but because they appreciate the quality of the members and the simplicity of the system.
Many of my friends have been matched and went on dates with their bagels. I was surprised to see the different personalities come out in this process. Once a bagel and coffee gets matched, they have a private line they can communicate through. This way they can text without giving each other’s real phone number.
There are 2 different ways different bagels approach this situation.
The first, which I thought would be the case for most matches, is that the two text for a couple of days to get to know each other. If the two “click” they will exchange their real numbers and plan a date to actually meet up for coffee.
However I’ve noticed that many bagels are much more aggressive, proactive and forward. After the first text, he goes straight to, “This is my phone number*** *** ****, what’s yours?” I’ve seen another bagel ask for the real number and asked if they could talk over the phone that evening. He skipped the whole texting process and jumped right into the phone call stage. Sexy and Confident? I don’t know, but definitely bold.
For my friend’s case she was turned off by such forwardness but I think it take’s great confidence. Also, it shows that the bagel did not want to beat around the bushes and knew what he wanted.
It’s hard to figure when it’s the right time to exchange each other’s real number, TALK on the phone and to meet up for a date, when you two have met through such social platform. But hey, have fun with it, don’t take it too seriously, but not too lightly.
If you two “click” hopefully you don’t have to think about it too much and can just go with the flow.
Calling Back-Phobia
Here is what I saw at Cindy Sherman’s Exhibit at MoMA over the weekend…It hit me hard.
The woman who is sadly gazing at the phone is actually Cindy Sherman herself, which made this piece more powerful and I think easier for the audience to relate to. She used herself as a medium in connecting with the audience to share her vision and feelings.
Looking at this photograph I felt the sadness, disappointment and pure ache she was feeling as she waited for her man to call.
Having a moment in MoMA, I absolutely felt and understood this woman.
How many times have you wondered- “why is he not calling back?”
Does falling asleep with your cellphone next to your pillow so you won’t miss a call, and waking up to nothing sound all too familiar to you?
This could happen after a night out at the bar, after a first date or even after many dates- but the ‘no call back’ happens way too frequently.
Christian Carter laid it down for us on Shape.com why guys don’t call back, and the reasons are quite obvious but spot on. Here are the reasons Carter gives for why men don’t call back:
1. They have trouble being honest and being vulnerable
2. If they are looking for a fling rather than something serious
3. They were just being polite earlier
4. They lost interest in you
5. They lost your number- or simply forgot to call
These scenarios arise mostly after couple of casual dates when everything about the relationship is up in the air. The question and problem here are how the women deal with these scenarios- after the guy doesn’t call for awhile. The idealistic way to put an end to this while still being sane is for the woman to keep her cool and to move on. However generally that’s not case. Rather than saying, “Forget it!” she will probably be vent over a tub of ice cream or continue to hold on to the phone while waiting for his call.
It made me wonder why women still feel like men leave them in the dark when these reasons are quite self explanatory. I truly believe its the fear of rejection that causes drama when the man doesn’t call back. All of the hidden insecurities creep up and hurts the woman’s ego and make her question, “What did I do wrong?” when really he didn’t call because of reason #1, 2, or 5- reasons she had no control over.
Women have to understand how men’s minds work and not take simple gestures too seriously. If he doesn’t call back there’s nothing to read into. He is not interested in you up to the point you would like him to. So either give him the time and space for him to grow to like you, or move on.
The universal question is though, do men suffer as much as women do when they don’t get a call they are expecting? I’ve seen men be upset for couple of days if his date falls through, but haven’t seen a man sulk over a tub of ice cream while staring at the phone hoping for it to light up.
Are men simply insensitive and more ready to go back into the dating scene immediately? Or do women get emotionally invested too soon?
When is a GOODbye…GOOD?
Ugly Betty may not be the best girl to go to for dating advice but, she got me thinking the other day.
Here’s what triggered my thoughts…
“I’ve had to say goodbye more times than I’ve liked, but everyone can say that. And no matter how many times we do it, even when it’s for the greater good, it still stings. And though we’ll never forget what we’ve given up, we owe it to ourselves to keep moving forward. What we can’t do is live our lives always afraid of the next goodbye, because chances are they’re not going to stop. The trick is to recognize when a goodbye can be a good thing; when it’s a chance to start again.” –Ugly Betty
I’m a believer of “LOVE CONQUERS ALL” and Betty Suarez here is saying we sometimes have to let our loved one go for the “greater good’? I agree there are certain situations that can be difficult in keeping a relationship- long distance in many cases or friends and family’s disapproval (I’m throwing possible situations out there). However, no matter how difficult the situation is, if the two love each other and have the patience and strength to fight through, there is no need to part ways. I say “recognizing when a goodbye can be a good thing” is an excuse and is a way of giving up on the relationship.
Why can’t people love hard even if it entails heartaches and fighting through challenging times?
What do you think? Is this a cowardly excuse to get a chance to start anew OR is there really a GOOD goodbye?