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Why do online dating sites force us to make trade-offs?

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I read a very interesting, funny and also insightful article on The Spec on online dating. As a single, 31-year old male, Frank tried both paid service, e-harmony and Plenty of Fish. I’m not sure why he chose e-harmony over match. You can read the full story here but this pretty much summarizes it.
e-harmony:
“The user experience was phenomenal. All the matches came into my inbox. If there was mutual interest, we’d proceed with the guided communication. This was four-step process generated by eHarmony where you had the opportunity to get comfortable with your match until you were ready to take it offline.
And therein lay the reason I stopped using eHarmony. Having two presumably mature adults getting to know one another via a Q&A computer template seemed abnormal. I could have been more patient, and the website does tell you that it may take up to a year to meet your perfect match, but this site just wasn’t for me. I wanted my online dating experience to mimic real world dating as much as possible.”
Plenty of Fish:
“Dating on a free site is about being active. You have to put in the time and that means logging on several times a day and chatting with someone who may or may not be who she claims to be.
Although it’s exciting to meet dozens of attractive single women every day, it can also be a bit scary. Let’s just say not everyone I’ve chatted with was single or even a woman. This is where pay sites have a distinct advantage — the security.”
His conclusion clearly highlights the painful limitations of online dating sites, which therefore forces users to make tradeoffs.
“If you place a monetary value on your time and user experience, and if the added security features are important to you, then registering with a pay site is the way to go.
Conversely, a free site may be more your style if you’re willing to sift through hundreds of profiles and you enjoy the freedom of choice. I see value in both.”

And I’m here thinking, why do we have to make this choice? Why is it that unless you pay substantial amount of money, you can’t get the security you want at the fraction of time you must invest currently in free dating sites?
Just wait. I think Coffee Meets Bagel might have just the right solution.  :)

Original Article

Happy New Year! Dating Site Usage is Up by 15-20%

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Yes, it’s that time of the year again. In just one more day, it will be a new year and a lot of people are really feeling it. Don’t believe me? Recent research has shown that dating sites have been receiving a 15 to 20 percent jump in activity.
It’s no wonder. This year went by pretty fast and, for those who believe in certain Mayan prophecies concerning next year, trying to get a date before New Years Eve is the most important thing you can do before the end of the world. That apocalyptic feeling really isn’t new to this year, though. This time of year may be joyful on the surface but there has always been a deep undercurrent of loneliness for those looking through the window at other happy couples. Trying to get a date before New Years isn’t an act of desperation. This is an attempt to no longer be on the outside looking in.
This trend doesn’t stop after New Years. From now until Valentine’s Day is the busiest time for dating websites. We now live, quoting Thomas Friedman, in a hyper-connected world. This means that we feel intimately connected with more people outside our immediate social network than ever before because of social media and intimate access to the lives of others through their profiles.  Whereas before online dating there was uncertainty as to where you can meet that special someone, now you have sites that can help. While online dating was a joke ten years ago, now it’s more socially acceptable to say you met your partner online. To speak to this paradigm shift, approximately 10% of singles in the US used dating sites in 2011. I can’t speak for all of their motivations but it shows how the Internet has changed where dating begins.
There are a plethora of articles out there about how people are trying to connect with each other out of desperation. For the most part, that isn’t the case. I believe that this trend shows that, deep down, people are looking to find someone they click with to start the new year fresh. As Auld Lang Syne implies, the new year is the start of new beginnings as we throw everything else away. With the millions of potential connections out there, there is bound to be the perfect one for you.
Happy New Year one and all! May you find that special someone in the glorious year of 2012.
-Brett