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5 Tips to Take Your Chats to the Next Level

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A note from David Osteen, in-house data scientist at CMB

Picture this: You open your Coffee Meets Bagel app and see you’ve made a new connection!

First comes that rush of exhilaration: you’re imagining all of the rom-com scenarios that are sure to unfold. But then, your brain busts in with a dose of negativity. Remember those connections that fizzled out with lackluster, forgettable messages?

As a data scientist at Coffee Meets Bagel, I’ve seen too many chats meet an untimely end due to an inability to convert a match into a fun, meaningful conversation. So, what gives? Why do some chats sizzle and other chats fizzle?

My team and I started looking into some of the chat data to answer this question. Here are my insider tips for turning your chats into conversations you actually want to have that lead to great dates.

1. Check Small Talk at the Door

Let’s be real, no one enjoys small talk. You grin and bear it at office Christmas parties. Why should you willingly engage in it when it comes to dating? Your time is more valuable than that.

Start your chat off with a bang by asking a question you genuinely want to hear the answer to. Say you’re a comic fanatic, ask who they think the best Avenger character is and share yours too. (It’s Captain Marvel, obviously.)

Feel weird about diving right into a chat with a question? CMB has an Icebreaker section for this very reason, which you can update from your profile details whenever you’re ready for a topic change.

Here are some other questions to try out:

  • What book are you reading?
  • Do you have a TV show you could watch repeatedly?
  • If you could only eat one type of cheese for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

Make sure you provide your own answer to your question, too, to help spark conversation. And, while my examples are a good start, feel free to get creative. You should ask questions you’re genuinely interested in hearing the answer to (so if you’re lactose intolerant, don’t ask about their fave cheese).

2. Don’t Wait to Break the Ice

If someone’s profile is interesting enough to earn your “like,” why wait to have a conversation? Procrastination may or may not be your middle name, but that won’t fly here.

It’s best to strike while the iron — or should I say bagel — is hot. Chats started on Coffee Meets Bagel within three hours of matching are 52% more likely to get a response!

Once you get rolling, don’t drag it out. Nothing kills conversation momentum quite like a reply that takes 16 hours. By that point, you don’t even remember what you were talking about without rereading past messages.

This is a big reason why CMB chats expire after seven days — so you have the incentive to use your time wisely, rather than chatting endlessly until the conversation gets stale and potentially ruining a connection.

3. Don’t Be Scared to Make the First Move

For the love of all that is good, don’t let outdated, cliche dating rules lead you astray.

Guys should make the first move? Nope. You liked them first, so now it’s their turn? Forget it. Initiating the conversation gives away your power? Absolutely not!

My advice here is very simple but also very important: It’s just a chat. Don’t put so much pressure on it.

Reaching out first isn’t equivalent to a marriage proposal, it just means that you matched and would like to know more — it’s as simple as that. If you allow those misguided notions to dictate your dating life, you might miss out on promising opportunities.

4. Give Phone Calls a Chance

In today’s day and age, most of us freeze up when our phone actually rings. But when it comes to getting to know someone, a good ol’ fashioned phone call is invaluable.

That’s right, I’m suggesting that you pick up the phone, dial an actual number and talk on the phone like it’s 2005. Not only will you give your poor thumbs a break (hello, carpal tunnel!) but a phone call is a great change of pace. It can make you stand out and give you a better read on someone.

With online chatting and texting, people have time to craft the perfect, cool response. But, you can’t really get a feel for someone’s personality until you have a real life conversation. Chatting on the phone will reduce the chances you’ll be surprised within the first five minutes of meeting a bagel they just aren’t what you thought they’d be.

5. Take the Next Step or Wrap It Up

After a few days, you should have a pretty good idea of whether you’d like to take this conversation into the real world.

If you want to meet your bagel, don’t overthink it — just ask! This calls back to not putting so much pressure on the situation. If they say yes, congrats! If they say no, it’s all good — at least they were honest and didn’t waste your time with a date that would lead to nothing.

On the flip side, if you’ve been chatting but the spark isn’t happening, be honest and respectfully end the conversation. And I can’t stress this enough: don’t ghost!

Here are some ways to end a lackluster chat or politely decline an invite to meet:

  • “I enjoyed chatting but I don’t think we’re a good fit. Thanks for the conversation and I hope you meet your right match!”
  • “I enjoyed our convo but I don’t feel the connection. It was great meeting you and good luck with future bagels!”

Bonus: Keep an Eye Out for Scams

You’re here to meet people and have a good time, so don’t let the scammers of the world get in your way. While CMB does have an internal tool that runs 24/7 to combat scammers, it isn’t perfect (yet).

So, protect yourself, and your identity, by keeping personal information like phone numbers and email addresses to yourself until you are 100% comfortable.

Trust your gut and be aware of suspicious behavior, like someone pushing you to meet before you’re ready or asking for money. If it looks like a scam and walks like a scam… you get the picture. Report these people right away.

For more info on online dating safety, be sure to peek at our guide: “Online Dating Safety Tips: 5 Ways to Spot a Scammer.”

Time to Get Chatty

Now that you’re armed with these pro tips, it’s time to put them to the test and get to chatting with your matches! Every time you match with a bagel, a new convo with an icebreaker will appear in “Chats.” To get there, open your app and simply tap “Chats” in the bottom right corner.

Chatting isn’t meant to be hard, you just have to get out of your own head and be genuine. Keep my tips in mind and you’re sure to find yourself lost in conversation without breaking a sweat. Happy connecting!

 

Feeling a meaningful conversation? Download the app now on iOS or Android if you haven’t already.

 

The Science to Setting Your Preferences & Liking Bagels

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A note from Sherrie Chen, Chief Product Officer at Coffee Meets Bagel

You might be expecting a personal success story about how I found my boyfriend on a dating app, and how we have a dog and three thriving house plants together. That isn’t my story. The truth is, I do have a partner…but I didn’t find him on a dating app (and I can’t keep a plant alive for the life me 🌱).

But, you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who genuinely believes in the power of dating apps more than I do. Well, one in particular: Coffee Meets Bagel. 

I’m Sherrie, the chief product officer at CMB 👋.I’ve interviewed hundreds of online daters, and I’ve worked closely with our data science team that’s responsible for increasing connections per user on our app. That means I’ve seen thousands of our success stories, face-to-face and in the data.

And I truly believe that, with the right know-how, anyone can find a meaningful relationship on CMB. So, here it goes: here’s everything I know about making Coffee Meets Bagel work for you.

Setting Your Preferences

After you’ve refined your profile with top-notch pics and details, it’s time to set your preferences and check out your bagels. In your profile under the tab labeled “Preferences,”. But before you set your six, make sure you understand just how powerful they can be 👇.

Preferences vs. Dealbreakers

When I first started using dating apps, I thought that getting ultra-specific about what kind of people I wanted to see was a no-brainer. That way, I’d get only quality matches, right? But as it turns out, being too specific about your preferences may actually lower the quality of the bagels you receive. That’s all due to our algorithm!

How Does the CMB Algorithm Work?

Our algorithm categorizes your set preferences as “must-haves” in Suggested. Later, the algorithm will use additional info, such as your interests, social circles, education levels, and more, to make educated choices about your best bagels.

But because it considers your set preferences as dealbreakers, this means our algorithm won’t suggest anyone who is even slightly outside of your preferences. For example, if there’s someone attractive nearby who shares your interests, but they’re just one year older than the age preference you set, our algorithm can’t consider them as a potential match.

In short: too many specific criteria → smaller pool of bagels for algorithm to work with → less quality matches.

So while I’d never want you to lower your standards or compromise your values when it comes to finding a partner, I would like you to know exactly what setting your preferences means. Make sure they’re an absolute must for you, not just a “nice to have.”

Getting Those Bagels

The hard work’s done! Now, it’s just time to sit back and like or pass on my bagels…right? Not so fast. While you can start connecting right away, there’s actually a science to browsing bagels.

Focus on the Matches Who Matter

If you’re used to swipe-based dating apps, it may be tempting to “like” any and every one just to see if they like you back. But at Coffee Meets Bagel, we use a “slow dating” approach by sending only your best bagels once per day.

This approach has attracted a special kind of user base that takes their pretty connections seriously.  So be thoughtful. Take your time looking at each profile and only tap “💜” if a bagel has you feeling some kind of way.

And if you see zero connection? Don’t feel bad about passing — it’s much better than connecting and then ghosting.

Give “Maybe Bagels” a Chance

Sometimes I have a couple of our CMB members come into the office so that we can gather feedback on their experience (and so they can come pet our office dogs). And when I observe them liking or passing on bagels, I’m often surprised to find they have the total opposite issue of the one above; they pass on everyone.

While it’s great to know exactly what you’re looking for, I recommend giving “maybe bagels” a shot.

Could be interested in a bagel, but not 100% sure? Like them. Hey, they look cute in their first photo…but not feeling the second? Like them. See where it takes you. Tapping “like” doesn’t mean you’re in love.

And chatting with someone doesn’t mean you’re obligated to meet them in person. Plus, not every match you chat with will turn into a date. Liking a bagel just means you’re interested enough to give them a chance!

How Premium Can Help

Lastly, I want to put in a good word for our CMB Premium package. OK, so I know it may look a little…self-serving. I get it. But since I get a glimpse into the backend data, I can genuinely say that Premium really is the fastest way to get more quality connections. In fact, on average, Premium subscribers connect up to 2x as often as non-subscribers.

Here’s what CMB Premium includes:

  • Activity Reports: Get access to insider info on bagel activity, like how often they send the first message.
  • Read Receipts: Know when your messages have been read, so you’re never left guessing.
  • Bonus Beans & Features:
    • iOS — Get 15% more beans on Shop purchases & 8 free Likes in Discover (a value of ~6,000 beans).
    • Android — Get 6,000 free beans to use on special features.

The Next Steps

√  Double check that your set preferences are deal-breakers for you. To edit your preferences, tap your “profile” icon. On iOS, tap on “Profile Preferences.” On Android, tap on the pencil icon in the bottom right corner. Navigate to the Preferences tab to select them.

√  Ready to try out a subscription? Head to the Bean Shop to see our latest subscription offerings and tap “Subscribe.”

You’re all set! Whether you try our Premium or just stick to your new liking routine, I hope you feel empowered to make your best connections on CMB.

If you’re ready to meet matches who matter, download Coffee Meets Bagel on iOS or Android.

 

How to Fill Out Your Dating Profile Like a Pro

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A note from Paige Butterfield, senior writer at CMB


Answering the first prompt on my Coffee Meets Bagel dating profile, “I am… ,” went something like this:

“I am…always up for an adventure!” Wait, who am I kidding? I’m waiting for a burrito delivery.

“I am…optimistic!” No, no. Too optimistic. DELETE.

“I am…a writer for a living, and yet somehow filling out my CMB profile is hella difficult.”

Let’s get something straight: writing a good dating profile takes real effort. But, it also produces real results. In fact, profiles with details filled out on Coffee Meets Bagel are 50% more liked than profiles with missing details 👍💓.

But buckle up, this research is headed to party town. When the co-founders of Coffee Meets Bagel pulled the stats to figure out the difference between the profiles of people who entered a relationship through CMB vs. people who stayed single, it boiled down to one thing: their profile length.

Then again, while the research on profile length is encouraging, filling in your profile with an exposé on the plot holes in Game of Thrones isn’t going to make you more likely to land a date. (Or is it?)

Instead, follow these five simple tips to fill out your profile like a pro. 

 

1. Think of your profile as a giant icebreaker

Brian, head of Android at Coffee Meets Bagel


Your profile details’ first job is to help you stand out from the crowd. But, it has a passion project, too: to give you and your matches something to talk about as soon as you connect.

And while Coffee Meets Bagel does give you the chance to write your own icebreakers (hidden from your profile) to start off a chat, you can never have too much to talk about. So ask, “What would I tell someone about myself to spark conversation?”

For example, instead of filling out CMB’s second prompt, “I like… ,” as  “I like…plants,” you could instead write:

“I like…taking care of my indoor herb garden 🌱. I feel like a pro chef when I get to add fresh oregano to my homemade pizza! And, I’m even learning the scientific names of my plants just for fun — quiz me 🙋‍♀️!”

Now, you’re taking a potential conversation from, “So…plants,” to conversation on indoor gardens, pizza, and cooking. Worst case scenario, you partake in a playful quiz.

 

2. Be specific because everyone likes dogs


Audrie, senior graphic designer at Coffee Meets Bagel


Already, by approaching your profile details as one giant icebreaker, you’re on your way to success. That’s because the more specific we can get, the more our personal story will really shine against the crowd of “The Office” binge-watchers, adventure-seekers, and dog-lovers.

That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with loving dogs (and if there is, I don’t want to be right). But, instead of writing, “I am…a dog-lover,” try:

“I am…a dog parent to a bubbly corgi, Sheldon 🐶. When I’m not at the dog park with him, I’m learning how to surf.”

Not only would you be sharing your love for dogs, but I can already imagine you and Sheldon playing at the park. It feels real, and people don’t want to connect with profiles; they want to connect with people. Plus, you’re sharing an additional activity you enjoy, which could spark conversation — or even a surf date!

 

3. Tell ‘em what you want


Jackie, social media manager at Coffee Meets Bagel

Getting specific about what you’re looking for from the get-go might feel a little awkward. But on Coffee Meets Bagel, we give you the prompt, “I appreciate when my date… ,” because we know that being open about what you’re looking for is really important. And what you write may not attract everyone, but it will attract that right someone.

Looking for specific values, like kindness and honesty? Write it out. Is an active lifestyle or adherence to a certain diet important to you? Say so.

But, do be mindful of how you come across. It’s easy to fall into the trap of being negative on your profile, and sass like, “If you smoke, swipe left,” isn’t attractive. Instead, focus on what you are looking for. An alternative to the smoking comment could be, “I appreciate when my date…values a healthy lifestyle 🍎.”

 

4. Give them a chuckle


Blake, software engineer at Coffee Meets Bagel

It’s no shock that “makes me laugh” is one of both men and women’s most-asked-for qualities in a date on CMB.

But your job isn’t to make everyone laugh — it’s just to put a smile on the person that’s right for you. So, don’t worry if you aren’t a comedian, or if your knock-knock jokes are a little — or a lot — rusty. Just be yourself and don’t be afraid to get playful or show some wit when you write your profile.

Not feeling it? That’s okay, just keep it light. Skip to tip number five ✋.

 

5. You’re awesome, be awesome

Dawoon, co-founder and -CEO of Coffee Meets Bagel

Sometimes it feels easier to write something generic or even nothing at all because you don’t want to look like you’re “trying too hard,” or perhaps you’re afraid of rejection. I’ve been there.

Rejection hurts, so you try to mold yourself into the person that everyone will like. But by pretending to be someone that everyone likes, you won’t stand out to that person who’s really right for you.

So be authentic. Be vulnerable. Be you. Not a lot of people are brave enough to do that, so you’ll stand out like an everything bagel in a row of plain ones.

Bonus: Give your grammar a check-up

You don’t need a solid viewpoint on the Oxford comma (because let’s face it — everyone already knows it is the way of truth 😉), but for the love of all that’s good in the world, use spell check. Even better, have a friend review your profile for mistakes. You may think grammar is no big deal, but even a small typo could make you come across as careless. And you’re awesome, remember?

Edit Your Profile Details

So, you’ve got all of your profile pro tips in your noggin. Now what? It’s time to jazz up your profile to show off the true you.

To edit your profile on Coffee Meets Bagel, just tap your “profile” icon. On iOS, tap “View and edit your profile,” and then “Edit” in the top right corner. On Android, tap on the pencil icon in the bottom right corner. Here, you can switch between your photos, details, and preferences. Today, make sure you give extra attention to your details.

Deciding what to write on your dating profile, and even how to say it, is tough. But with these five tips (and maybe a burrito to get your brain working), I think you’re going to do great.

 

Ready to get your wordsmith on? If you haven’t already, download Coffee Meets Bagel on Android or iOS.

 

These 10 Dating Photo Dos and Don’ts Are Game-Changers

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A note from Audrie Thompson, senior graphic designer & photographer at CMB

The other day, my friend Sarah asked me to look at her online dating profile to see if she was doing something “wrong.” Admittedly, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve been on the dating scene — but I like to think that I’ve still got it 🤷‍♀️. After all, I met my boyfriend of three years on Coffee Meets Bagel (not to mention I work there)!

Now back to Sarah’s profile. Basic info? Check. Quirky one-liners about herself? Check.

Photos? Not…so…check.

Let’s get real for a sec. Choosing your dating profile photos is no easy task. And they’re important. In fact, we know that at CMB ~80% of the reason people pass on a potential match is because of their photo.

So it wasn’t that Sarah didn’t have photos. She just didn’t have good photos. You know, the ones that showed her…for her 💗.

Here’s the insider advice I gave Sarah on the dos and don’ts of dating photos.

Dating Profile Photo Dos

Do #1: Show your face

A full-face photo is less of a dating photo tip and more of a dating photo must-have. In fact, on Coffee Meets Bagel, if you don’t have at least one photo that shows your face, we can’t approve your profile.  Keep this headshot as your first photo, so your matches know what you look like from the start!

 

 

 

 

Do #2: Let the light in

Man-made light is better than no light, but natural light is basically magic. In photos, sunlight can work its wonders by highlighting your best features and making your eyes pop. Pro-tip: For the best photos, make sure the light source isn’t directly behind you. We want to light up your face ☀️!

 

 

Do #3: Share a smile

Your smile is one of your best and most telling features. Smiles radiate warmth, kindness, and positivity — all important qualities in a partner. So before you snap a photo, try flashing a natural grin. To look less posed, have a friend take your photo, but ask them to snap several action shots to capture the organic moments that lead up to the main shot.

 

Do #4: Show what you love to do

After you have that first face-forward headshot, you can also upload an action shot of you doing something you love — whether it’s going on an epic hike, seeing a live show, or hanging out with your pet 🐱. These photo types are perfect conversation-starters.

 

 

 

Do #5: Upload a full-length pic

A recent (within the last year) full-length pic gives bagels a better idea of what you look like, so upload at least one. Don’t have a tripod on hand? Grab a friend and make a day out of an impromptu photoshoot at a local park or in front of a vibrant wall. Bonus points if they have a DSLR or a great camera phone 📸.

 

 

Dating Profile Photo Don’ts

Don’t #1: Get lost in the crowd

You may think that you look best in that group photo with your best friends or family. But, how is a potential match supposed to know whether you’re the cute brunette on the left, or the dude in the howling wolf tee on the right? To make sure it’s clear who you are, leave group photos out of your profile photo line-up. Or, if you really love a certain group shot, make sure to file it last — that way there’s no mistaking who you are.

Don’t #2: Feel pressured

When it comes to dating profile photos, don’t feel pressured to look “sexy” or to show more skin than you feel comfortable with. Because believe it or not, choosing your profile photos isn’t always about finding the picture where you look the hottest or the fittest. In fact, the best photos are the ones that can give us a sense of your personality and your “vibe.”

Don’t #3: Stop at selfies

Discard the dog ears and filter #glowup pics and exchange them for photos taken by a friend in “do” tip five. Apart from the fact that selfies don’t always turn out well, the filters we like to apply to them don’t make for an accurate representation of ourselves.

Don’t #4: Hide under hats & sunglasses

Slather on the SPF 50, because the wide-brimmed hats and sunglasses have got to go (at least while you’re taking photos). Even if you think your Ray Glams make you look stylin’, photos where you have sunglasses or hats on hide what you really look like and can cast unflattering shadows.

Don’t #5: Upload ancient photos  

Your potential matches aren’t interested in seeing what you looked like five years ago. So, rather than uploading photos that don’t resemble you anymore, take new ones. You want the right match to fall for the current you, not the you from junior year of high school (…unless you’re still in junior year of high school, in which case you probably aren’t old enough to be using our app!)

Selecting the Best

Now that you’ve had your photoshoot, it’s time to select your best! Choose a minimum of four photos — but, more is always better if they’re quality. It also helps to have a friend who matches your gender preference to review your picks. What we see in ourselves is not always what others see, so a second opinion can help make sure you’re putting your best face forward.

Spotlight: Profile pic superstars

Like Sarah’s best pics ended up being different than my own, so will yours. To give you a better idea of what kind of pics you should be looking for, I’ve gathered a few profile-pic superstars from Coffee Meets Bagel. Their photos radiate their warmth and positive energy — just like yours can ☀️

 

Daniel, Franklin, TN

 

 Joanne, San Diego, CA

 

Pete, San Francisco, CA

 

Joy, Seattle, WA

Upload Your Photos

Feeling inspired? I hope so! Now’s your moment to upload your own photos to your Coffee Meets Bagel Profile.

To do so, just log in and tap your “profile” icon. On iOS, tap “View and edit your profile,” and then “Edit” in the top right corner. On Android, tap on the pencil icon in the bottom right corner. Here, you can choose to upload new photos, or delete and swap existing ones.

Taking and choosing your best pics can feel a little overwhelming at times. But with these 10 photo dos and don’ts, you’re already on your way to selecting photos that show off the best in you!

 

Ready to show off your best self? If you haven’t already, download Coffee Meets Bagel on Android or iOS.

 

So, It’s Your First Day on CMB? Here’s What You Need to Know

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A note from Dawoon Kang, co-founder & -CEO of CMB

When I ask, “What is the first word that comes to you when you think of online dating?” The answer isn’t pretty. I hear that it’s exhausting, overwhelming, time-wasting.

And with the prevalence of swipe-based apps, I can understand why. After all, I was an active user of multiple dating apps for the past five years. And yeah — online dating sucks. So my team and I created Coffee Meets Bagel with a bold vision: to change the way singles experience online dating from “sucks” to “doesn’t suck.” In fact, we wanted to make online dating meaningful.

And to do that, we had to be different on purpose. Check out how, plus everything you’ll need to know for your first day on CMB below.

girl meditating with phone

What to Expect

While social media apps, like Instagram and Twitter, are convenient tools when used purposefully, they’re also time-sucks. Infinity pools. Black holes. They’re happy to grab your attention and suck you into endless scrolling: photos of your friends’ vacations, breaking news, pop-culture trends, cats playing the piano.

And when dating apps exploded onto the scene, most of them followed this pattern. In fact, according to a recent study, more than one in 10 dating app users swipe for over 14 hours a week.

This didn’t vibe with us, so we chose a different approach.

Welcome to Slow Dating

Our “slow dating” approach emphasizes finding delight in the dating process. We pump the brakes on swiping to help you savor each meaningful connection. But this approach doesn’t take more of your time; in fact, it’s the opposite. Because we focus on quality > quantity, checking your potential matches should take just ~5 minutes per day. When you’re done, you’re done.

Plus, this approach has attracted a special kind of community. Eighty-six percent of our users are looking for long-term relationships 💖.

Checking Your Bagels

We’ll use information — like the preferences you set and who you’ve liked or passed on in the past — to curate a limited number of your best potential matches (aka bagels). Then, we send them to your Suggested section in the app just once per day.

We’ve made an app that’s free of distractions like loud colors because we want you to really focus on each bagel. Look at their photos. Get a sense of who they are in their details.

And then, before you can see your next bagel, make a decision to like or pass on them. Every time you like or pass on a bagel, we’ll learn more about you and your type, so tomorrow’s bagels will only get better.

It may even take a week to get your first match (when you like someone and they like you back). But that’s okay, too. Instead of feeling swipe-fatigue like on other apps, you can take a break and just live your life. We’ll continue working in the background to set you up with someone great.

girl looking at dating app on phone

Learnin’ the Lingo

Now that you know what to expect, let’s dive into a few terms that will help you better navigate Coffee Meets Bagel.

  • Bagels: What we call your potential matches (That means you’re someone’s bagel, too!)
  • Suggested: The section where we’ll curate a limited number of your best bagels daily around noon. These are your most compatible bagels (meaning you’re most likely to like each other!) Liking bagels in Suggested is 100% free.
  • Discover: The section that’s “the schmear on top,” for when you want to browse extra bagels nearby beyond our suggestions. They may not meet your preferences, but we think they could still be a good match. Use beans to like bagels in this section.
  • Beans: Earn or buy beans, our in-app currency, to use on special features such as liking extra bagels.
  • CMB Premium: Our subscription package that includes special features, like Activity Reports, which give you access to more info on bagels, like how often they send the first message; and Read Receipts, which let you know when your messages have been read.

The Next Steps

Now that you know what to expect, make sure you’ve checked these must-do’s off your list:

Lots of love and kindness to you as you embark on your dating journey! Remember: it might take time, it might feel slow, or it might even feel discouraging at times. But, I hope you savor and enjoy the process!

 


Excited to start matching? If you haven’t already, download Coffee Meets Bagel on Android or iOS.

 

couple on coffee date

5 Ways to Get What You Want From Dating Apps in 2019

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It’s 2019, and a recruiter stumbles upon your LinkedIn. You have a blurry picture of yourself holding up your cat like Simba in “The Lion King,” and your profile says something about being a 2015 Flip Cup Champion, #LetsGetThisBread.

This same approach on Instagram may have earned you thousands of followers. But, let’s just say…you’re not getting the job today.

Just like social media sites have best practices unique to their platform, so do the top dating apps.

Whether you’re looking for a quick hook-up on Tinder, or someone who sparks your heart on Coffee Meets Bagel, you can rock the 2019 dating space by making sure you’re sharing your best self in the new year. Here’s how to start.

1. Start With Self-Reflection

None of the top dating apps, even Coffee Meets Bagel, can help you find the “right” match if you’re unsure of what you’re looking for. In fact, “We end up wasting a ton of time on the wrong people because we don’t know what we want,” says CMB Co-Founder Dawoon Kang.

Put It on Paper

To succeed from the start, try the following exercise: Beginning with a blank sheet of paper, write down what you think an amazing relationship would look like. Be as descriptive as possible. For example, you could write, “My partner would do house chores equally, and we’d take turns making healthy dinners.” Or, “We’d try something new every quarter.”

From this list, you can then pick out qualities you think are most important for your partner to have. Then, Dawoon suggests, “Strive to become this person,” because we often attract those we are most like.

Make Your Intentions Clear

If you feel comfortable, the most effective way to find a partner who has these qualities is to be transparent by listing them on your profile. That’s because the key to finding the right person for you and your life stage isn’t getting as many Likes as possible; It’s about getting that one right Like.

2. Dating Profile Photos: Have 3 or More
girl posing

Did you know that you could increase your chances of being Liked on Coffee Meets Bagel by 31 percent by uploading at least three photos? But, don’t upload just any pictures to meet the magic number. One on-point photo is still better than three snapshots of last night’s dinner.

The first photo you upload is especially important, so make sure it’s a face-forward shot of you, preferably smiling. Shielding your eyes from harmful UV rays is cool and all, but keep the sunglasses off for pictures. Same goes for hats. Check out a few of our other dating profile secrets for putting your best face forward:

Profile Photo Do’s

  • Upload a picture of you loving your hobbies, whether they include rock-climbing or playing with puppies at animal shelters.
  • Speaking of puppies, selfies with your pets are a definite “Do.”
  • Include tasteful full-body shots, like posing in nature.
  • Don’t be a catfish: Use recent images. We promise, the current you is fantastic.

Profile Photo Don’ts

  • Don’t upload blurry photos, including mirror selfies (especially if your Windex game is weak).
  • Try not to get lost in a crowd! Group photos are great for tagging friends on Facebook, but they can confuse potential matches. Is she the cute girl on the left, or the aging grandfather in the background?
  • Leave your photos with exes in your memory box.
  • Additionally, wear a shirt. We love the body confidence, but our data shows that shirtless photos don’t fare well on CMB.

3. Dating Profiles: Get Your Wordsmith On
man on phone

Writing a profile on any of the top dating apps can be intimidating. How do you sum up your personality by answering just a few questions? The best advice: Be uniquely you. And, don’t be afraid to get specific.

While being short and to-the-point is awesome for Twitter, that isn’t the case for Coffee Meets Bagel. In fact, when we analyzed profiles of successful CMB couples (those who found someone via CMB) vs. CMB singles, the only difference we found was profile length! The top 10 percent of Liked profiles on CMB were 35 percent longer than others.

How Can I Add Length to My Dating Profile?

Profile descriptions like, “I’m adventurous,” or, “I like music,” don’t feel like they belong to a real person. Instead, be more specific, like, “I love trying out new foods at the local farmer’s market,” or, “I’m always down to go to local music shows! Lately, I’m really into indie-rock band Alexander & the Grapes.” You can see how, when you’re more specific, the length comes naturally.

An article on dating profiles in Marie Claire also advises to “keep your profile up to date” and to “Make the effort to renew your profile on a regular basis with relevant information about yourself.” Yes! We couldn’t agree more.

4. Chat With Confidence
smiling phone

In a recent article about our new look, we mentioned this:

The point of making connections on Coffee Meets Bagel isn’t to catch ‘em all like Pokemon cards. (Plus, you’re already the very best!) It’s to get to know your matches and then meet in real life for a real date.

If you’re using top dating apps to meet real people for real dates, the best way to succeed is a long-hidden CMB secret…ask them out! OK, easier said than done. Here’s a few chat tips to spark meaningful conversation in 2019:

  • Ask a question. In a CMB study, we found out that when someone’ first text was a question, the response rate increased by over 20 percent — making response rates for men messaging women 75 percent and women messaging men 80 percent!
  • Sprinkle in some emojis. In the same study, we also found increased response rates when people used emojis in their texts.
  • Use CMB’s new feature that lets you send a message with your Like to hit it off from the get-go. In beta testing, members who used this feature with their potential matches had a 25 percent higher chance of getting Liked back.

5. Be Selfishtelescope girl

Finding the perfect partnership takes both patience and luck. Expect that you won’t find your “forever” right away, if that’s what you’re looking for. Until then, focus on yourself and the right person for you on your journey.

The “right” person for you right now might be someone who gives you butterflies, but that you aren’t ready to commit to long-term. That person might be someone you bond with over your undying love for Game of Thrones, but find you’re better off friends. That person could even be someone you meet only once at a cafe for coffee, but the conversation inspires you to try something new!

There is no wrong way to date, and every encounter can be meaningful in your journey.

Focus on the Journey

There are so many reasons why a date or a relationship might not be forever, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a “success.” By reframing dating as path to personal growth, we can discover so many new things about ourselves and our world — without the pressure to accept less than what we deserve.

CMB’s Dawoon Kang recommends exploring your own interests through dates. That cocktail-making class you’ve been dying to try? Suggest it as a first date. Or, have your date suggest something you normally wouldn’t do to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Dawoon added the following:

Having someone to do something fun with on the weekend is important, too, but I believe ultimately that what makes love so powerful is its ability to help us grow, to make us better people. We can use dating as a catalyst for our self-growth in 2019. We may not end up with that ideal relationship by the end of the year. But, we will 100 percent end up with a more fulfilled life.

Join one of the top dating apps for getting that “right” Like.
Download Coffee Meets Bagel for iPhone or Android.

Singles & Valentine’s Day

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February 14th is upon us! What are singles doing for Valentine’s Day this year? We surveyed over 650 CMBers around the world to determine the latest dating trends and stats around the holiday synonymous with love, and here’s what we found…
CMB Valentine's Day 2018

Say Cheese! It’s World Smile Day

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October 7, 2016 is World Smile Day®, a day created by the Harvey Ball World Smile Foundation whose mission is to improve the world, one smile at a time. At Coffee Meets Bagel, we were curious if we could improve your dating profile, one smile at a time :)
We analyzed the profile photos of ~300 singles who use our app to find out what role your smile plays in finding true love in the digital age. Check out the stats below to learn how to get your profile smile in tip top shape!
How to perfect your dating profile

9 Ways To Get A Second Date

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Want to know the secrets to a successful first date? More importantly, want to land a second date? While love may be unpredictable, first impressions can make or break a connection. We decided to see if happy couples did something noticeably different than singles when it comes to first dates. Take a look at these 9 findings you need to know before your next date…
9 ways to get a second date

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a dating app designed with women in mind. Founded by 3 sisters in 2012 in NYC, CMB aims to deliver a fun, safe, and quality dating experience that results in meaningful relationships.

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Meet the Bagels of Toronto

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With over 2.6 million people, Toronto is the largest city in Canada. This means that there are hundreds of thousands of people looking for love – thousands of whom, like you, are on Coffee Meets Bagel! Not to mention that Toronto is also full of some of the brightest, most interesting, and unique individuals.
From time to time, we will be highlighting some of these fine folks for you to get to know better. Take a few minutes and meet two of your very own – Denise & Jaime.
DeniseChow_TopProfile_Toronto
JaimeCazes_TP
Know any cool Torontonians on Coffee Meets Bagel we should feature? Let us know at [email protected]!

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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