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Stretching The Truth: Do Lesbians And Gay Men Lie About Their Height?

April 14, 2015/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Timothy Sweetser

Everyone pretty much knows the importance of being tall when dating in the straight community. It explains why so many lie about their own height in online dating. But what about among gay & lesbians? Does being tall make you more attractive or less appealing? Do they lie about their height too? By analyzing thousands of interactions between Coffee Meets Bagel’s gay men and lesbians, we have the scoop on how height affects attraction for same-sex couples. (Take a guess before you read the rest!)

All Men Lie (but some lie more than others)

men lie about their height straight men lie more than gay men On average, the gay men of CMB say they are 5’9.7″ tall; in comparison, according to the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, men in the United States between the ages of 20 and 39 are only 5’9.5″ tall. This difference, albeit small, is significant at 1% using a t-test. So either the gay population on CMB is just taller than the average men in the US, or they exaggerate their height slightly. It’s probably the latter but that’s ok because this just proved that gay men lie less than straight men! 

So is being tall “good” or “bad”?

To find out, we need a model.

Matt Cook

Matt Cook via Instagram

Hot as he is, I don’t think he has the answers. A statistical model, on the other hand, can tell us how often gay men like their Bagels, depending on both of their heights. (ok, bad joke – sorry – at least he is nice to look at). We can illustrate this with a few hypothetical guys of particular heights. do gay men like taller men Gay men like men who are at least as tall as themselves: if his Bagel is shorter than he is, each inch shorter decreases the odds of being liked by 7%. If his Bagel is taller than he is, this increases the odds of being liked by less than 1%. As a Bagel, being taller than your match is not much better than being his height, but being the same height is preferable to being shorter.  The vertices in the plot represent the point where each guy is the same height as his Bagel; you can see that each of the three guys likes Bagels to the right (taller) better than Bagels to the left (shorter). Let’s look at this for gay men of all heights. do gay men like taller men all heights Gay men prefer their Bagels to be at least as tall as they are (above the line), and dislike it when their Bagels are shorter than they are (below the line). Given this, does it make sense for gay men to lie about their height? Saying you are an inch taller than you really are doesn’t make you that much more attractive to guys who are already shorter than you, but it does make you more attractive to a guy who is really an inch taller than you. This is because with the fib, the two of you are now the same height. That is, until he finds out that you lied about your height. What else did you lie about, hmm? Now it’s lesbians’ turn; do they lie about their height? if they do, does it make them more attractive?

How much do women lie about their height?

do women lie about their height Yes: women exaggerate too! Straight women exaggerate about the same amount (half an inch) as straight men, while lesbians exaggerate by more than an inch. This extreme exaggeration makes sense only if lesbians strongly prefer tall women. Then, they would have the same reason to lie as men: it makes them more attractive to their desired partners. And since height is generally considered a valuable characteristic, this seems pretty plausible. To find out if lesbians really do prefer tall women, we’ll use another model and illustrate it with a few hypothetical women of particular heights.

How tall does she like her Bagel?

do lesbians like taller womenHold the phone: lesbians of all heights prefer short women! If her Bagel is shorter, each inch shorter increases the odds of being liked by 4%; if her Bagel is taller, each inch taller decreases the odds of being liked by 2%. Also note that the lines are parallel: short women are more picky about their Bagels than tall women, because they know they are popular and can afford to be selective. This same pattern holds for lesbians of all heights: no matter how tall she is, she prefers the shortest bagel possible. This is just like straight men’s preference for women’s age: the younger, the better, no matter how old he is. do lesbians like tall women all heightsBut this is totally backwards: why would gay women inflate their height, if their partners like shorter women better? I’m going to skate over to some seriously thin ice, but hear me out. Maybe this is the result of variation in gender identity. People who identify as more masculine may prefer shorter partners, while people who identify as more feminine may prefer taller partners. If this is the case, and if height is a masculine trait, then the exaggerated height and the preference for short people imply that CMB’s lesbians may identify more strongly with a masculine gender identity. There is some evidence that shorter gay men are more likely to be bottoms and taller men are more likely to be tops, but this certainly doesn’t prove anything about lesbians. This is just my own wild guess: as a heterosexual, married man, I am pretty clueless. Please leave a comment to tell me this is totally bogus, and why you think lesbians exaggerate their own height, yet prefer shorter women.

Can everyone win in musical chairs? or will someone be left out in the cold?

In my previous post, we found that straight men and women have mutually compatible preferences: they both like the man to be taller. Are gay men’s and lesbians’ preferences similarly compatible? Or is it like musical chairs, where someone will be left out when the music stops? Gay men like taller men, but not much more than men their own height; therefore, if every gay man had a Bagel his own height, everyone would be happy. Even if it doesn’t work out that way, it’s at least possible that everyone gets what he wants – in terms of height, at least. However, lesbians are unique in uniformly preferring short Bagels, no matter how tall they themselves are. Does this mean that no one will date tall lesbians? Not really, because lesbians’ preference for short women is extremely weak. To show this, I measured “strength of height preference” as the Euclidean distance between two numbers: the change in odds of Liking if a taller Bagel is 1” taller, and the change in odds of Liking if a shorter Bagel is 1” shorter. This summarizes each group’s preferences for taller and shorter Bagels from two numbers to one, allowing an easy visual comparison. who cares the most about partner's height Straight women have far and away the strongest preferences about height, while lesbians have the weakest. This is good news for tall lesbians; if all lesbians insisted on having a short partner, the tall ones would be out of luck. Fortunately for them, lesbians rely mostly on factors other than height in evaluating their Bagels. If you enjoyed this post, check out how straight men and women feel about height.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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19 Ways Your Health Plays A Role In The Dating Game

April 11, 2015/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

Everyone knows that a “healthy relationship” is the only kind of relationship anyone should be in. Respecting one and other, being able to make compromises, and caring for each other equally are all key to a successful relationship. However, did you know that being in a relationship has tons of positive effects on your physical and emotional health, and vice versa?
Whether it be that practicing a healthy lifestyle can help you attract a partner, or how the health benefits of the more, errr, physical aspects of your relationship can help you get into better shape, the choices you make regarding your fitness and health have been scientifically proven to go hand in hand with your dating life. We’ve put together a list of facts that will motivate your inner romantic to get to the gym. Not only will the endorphins from your work out have you feeling sexy and ready to mingle,  you might just find that special someone on the treadmill next to you!


1. (Excluding being in love with chocolate and pizza, that is.)

source: Journal of Neurophysiology 

2. A little healthy competition never hurt anyone; it might even help!

source: The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

3. Makes you want to invest in a standing desk, doesn’t it?

source: The Journal of Sexual Medicine 

4. Yoga for two anyone?

source: Michigan State 

5. Drink up, ladies!

source: The Institute of Medicine 

6. Just one more reason Adam Levine is maybe the sexiest man alive…

source: The Journal of Sexual Medicine

7. Don’t forget your running shoes!

source: The University of Pittsburgh

8. Hanger is a very real thing.

source: Ohio State

9. A whole new way to think of the term “healthy relationship.”

source: The Oxford Handbook of Close Relationships

10. You can’t do everything on your own…

source: David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA

11. “I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts.”

source: The Journal of Human Sexuality

12. (Unless you normally kiss like this, in which case you’re probably burning a few more…)

source: The University of Louisville

13. The ones on your face, we mean.

source: Western Journal of Communication

14. An apple a day isn’t the only thing that keeps the doctor away.

source: Wilkes University

15. Everyone knows that intelligence is a huge turn on.

source: The University of Dublin

16. They say “love hurts,” but it looks like they’re wrong.

source: Stanford University

17. Laughter has always been the best medicine.

source: Oxford University

18. Tea for two anyone?

source: University of Arizona

19. Sexercise is no joke.

source: The University of Quebec

If you liked this post, check out 11 Ways Your Sleep Habits Are Affecting Your Dating Life.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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is it ok to date a shorter guy

How Tall Are You, Really? Why Men and Women Lie About Their Height

February 10, 2015/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Timothy Sweetser

Does this couple look unusual to you? Unlike Sophie Dahl, whose husband Jamie Cullum is 8″ shorter, many women prefer to date taller men. I don’t know whether this is due to evolutionary biology (tall men might be stronger and better at protecting their offspring) or cultural norms (we associate height with status and wealth), but it does seem convenient to have someone who can reach things on the top shelf, and is easy to find in a crowd. On the other hand, dating a short guy has its advantages, too: you don’t have to strain your neck to kiss him! For whatever reason, the myth that “tall is better” is still widespread.
In this post, I will use 2.7 million interactions between Coffee Meets Bagel’s (CMB) straight members to see if women really do prefer tall men. I will also investigate something that nobody ever talks about: do men have a preference about women’s height? Along the way, we’ll see how people strategically fudge their height in order to seem more attractive. This post is all about CMB’s straight members, but I will cover our gay members in the next post!
Before I share the results, a quick refresher on how CMB works: Every day at noon, CMB introduces members to one single (a.k.a. a “Bagel”), whom they must LIKE or PASS within 24 hours. These Bagels are friends of friends who also meet the member’s basic match preference criteria – gender, age, race, religion – which the members tell us when they first register with CMB. The member sees these characteristics, along with the Bagel’s height, occupation, and more, before deciding whether to LIKE or PASS. A mutual LIKE leads to a direct connection via a private chat line that the couple can use to communicate.

How tall are you, really?

On average, the men of CMB say they are 5’10” tall; in comparison, according to the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, men in the United States between the ages of 20 and 39 are only 5’9.5″ tall. This difference is significant at 1% using a t-test. male height coffee meets bagel versus averageBy comparing these two groups, I am assuming that there is no systematic difference between the men of CMB and the general US population of the same age. This might not be true if, for example, CMB had a disproportionate number of lumberjacks: tall lumberjacks illustrate selection biasBut another reason for the observed discrepancy is that guys are stretching the truth when they give their height. Men have two conflicting incentives; they want to be as attractive as possible, which (they think) means taller; but they also want to be honest, and know they can’t get away with exaggerating too much. After all, would you trust someone who turned out to be six inches shorter than they had said in their profile? They might reconcile these conflicting incentives with a small fudge. For example, a guy who might be somewhere between 5’7” and 5’8” would claim to be 5’8”. Little embellishments like this could add up to the half-inch gap between CMB’s straight men and the US average.
When Ok Cupid did a similar analysis, they found that their users exaggerated by a full two inches! Kudos to the men of CMB for being more honest than their counterparts on Ok Cupid.
Returning to CMB, we found that straight men seem to think that women find height attractive, and so strategically inflate their height. Do women do the same thing?

Do women lie about their height, too?

Yes: women exaggerate just as much as men do! female height coffee meets bagel versus national average Evidently, they also think that height is an attractive quality to their desired partners. Both men and women seem to think that their desired partners are attracted to height, and so exaggerate their height. But is this really what their partners want? and even if taller is more attractive on average, what about relative height: how does my height compared to your height affect whether you will like me?

How tall would you like your Bagel, miss?

I’m going to start with straight women: how do a woman’s own height and her Bagel’s height affect how often she likes him? Let’s look at a few hypothetical women of particular heights and compare how they like men of different heights. how much do women prefer tall men Women definitely like taller men, but dislike men shorter than themselves even more: notice the sharp change at the point where she is the same height as her Bagel. If he is shorter than she is, she is much less attracted to him: being an extra inch shorter decreases the odds of her liking him by 40%. If he is taller than she is, the taller the better, but the effect is nowhere near as dramatic: each extra inch only increases her odds of liking him by 10%. Now let’s look at this for women of all heights. how much do women prefer tall men contour plot As long as her Bagel is taller than she is (above the line), women think that taller is better, no matter how tall she is. Straight men, then, have two valid reasons for exaggerating their height; being taller makes them more attractive to all women, but also makes them taller than a greater number of women, who desire a guy taller than themselves. Also notice that women over 5’10” are more open to dating someone slightly shorter, presumably because of the paucity of (and competition for!) guys taller than that. The stereotype seems to hold: straight women really do like tall men. But we saw above that straight women exaggerated their height by about the same amount as straight men. Is this warranted? do straight men really prefer tall women?

How tall would you like your Bagel, sir?

how much do men prefer tall womenFirst of all, straight men definitely do have a preference. In fact, their favorite height for a woman is his own! You can see that each guy’s preference peaks at his own height; he doesn’t mind too much if she’s shorter, but his interest plummets if she is taller than him. Straight women, then, also seem justified in exaggerating their height. If she is shorter than he is, an inch of height increases his odds of liking her by 2%; however, if she is taller than him, an extra inch decreases the odds of him liking her by 10%. For women, being taller is more attractive to your average guy, as long as you are still shorter than him. As before, we can look at this for men of all heights. how much do men like tall women contour plot These chevrons are rotations of the upside-down V shapes we saw above, and have the same meaning: a man’s ideal is a women his own height, and strongly prefers a woman shorter than himself (below the line) to one who is taller (above the line).

Summary

Both men and women like their partners to be tall, but in a relative rather than absolute sense. Men slightly prefer tall women, but strongly prefer to be the taller one of the couple. Women feel even more strongly that their Bagel should be taller than themselves; as long as this is true, women of all heights prefer a taller guy. Men and women tend to agree that the man should be taller; this compatibility of preferences is good news for the future of our species! It is also good news for short guys: while it’s somewhat better to be absolutely taller, it’s more important that you are taller than your Bagel. With men’s natural height advantage, you will catch the eye of plenty of shorter women. Given these preferences, it’s no surprise that men exaggerate their height; it makes them more attractive to all women, and also taller than a greater number of women, increasing their attractiveness to that group. But I must issue a word of caution to the women out there who are exaggerating their height: this makes you a bit more attractive to the guys who are still taller than you say you are, but much less attractive to the guys who are your height, but not as tall as you claim to be. But if you and he both exaggerate by a half inch, you’ll be perfect for each other!
Did you enjoy this post? Read more dating stats about how the number of singles in your city affects who likes you.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a dating app designed with women in mind. Founded by 3 sisters in 2012 in NYC, CMB aims to deliver a fun, safe, and quality dating experience that results in meaningful relationships.

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Kiss and Tell

On Kissing 100 Boys… And Counting

January 31, 2015/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

I am a crazy person, and I will be the first to admit it. I’m the kind of crazy that documents everything, saves the stupidest little things from the most mundane days of her life, writes about things most people wouldn’t remember an hour later — essentially I’m obsessed with memories, or just remembering. I have a flower made out of tissue paper and a pipe cleaner that one of my best friends made me in 6th grade. I’m still wearing the wrist band from a music festival I went to in July of 2013. I have pretty much everything my ex-boyfriend ever gave me (including a log that he drunkenly decided would be a good gift to leave in my dorm room one night). Some people have accused me of being a hoarder, but others are amazed at the random things I can remember about my past. I take pride in my sentimentality, in remembering the tiny details of everything, in caring enough to want to remember, even if it can be a bit over the top. I think it might come with the territory of being a writer.
But it’s not just objects that I hoard; I also hoard memories and information that will help me remember my past. This is where the real “crazy” comes out. I think it’s a pretty normal thing for a girl to have a list of all the people she’s slept with lying around somewhere – at least I know a lot of people who have one. But again, from a young age I took this practice a bit farther than the average girl and have kept a running list of every guy I have ever kissed in my entire life, since I was 11 years old. I mean, every. single. one. From middle school on, this list is everywhere from spin the bottle encounters to my first love. I eventually transferred the list to my computer, which recently crashed and while I was transferring my files, I came across it. Having been in a serious relationship for the past two and a half years until quite recently, I’ve had no real reason to look at it for a while. But break ups happen and then drinking happens and then making out with boys you meet at the bar happens, so I had to add a name to the list. When I noticed how absurdly long the list was, I decided to count the names, and I counted 100, exactly. I mean, first of all, what are the odds that I happened to count them at that very point in time, and not after the next boy I kiss? Also, to be clear, I have no shame in admitting that I’ve kissed this many people – kissing is fun.
This list is absurd — almost as absurd as the fact that I have somehow kept up with it for 12 years. But wait, I’m even crazier than you already think I am! Not only have I kept this list, but I’ve put symbols next to some of the names to indicate certain things about the situation. But now I’m looking at this list of 100 men (mostly boys, really) that I’ve touched lips with and it is a TRIP. Partially because there are a handful that I have absolutely no idea who they are, there are a few that are listed as “dude from party at Alex’s,” or something along those lines, and there are some (more than I care to admit) that my only response to remembering them is “what was I thinking?!” And then there are the ones who I wish were still in the habit of kissing me.
So before I start giving the time of day to these boys individually, recounting the good, the bad, and the ugly of all of these encounters, I thought it would be funny to look for patterns in the list. Yeah, it’s a little ridiculous, but I have honestly never had more fun analyzing any kind of data before in my life.
Kissing 100 boys
Thus begins the saga of the last 12 years of my kissing history. Over the next, well, however long it takes me to get through 100 boys, I’ll be writing my way through this list. So, if you’ve ever kissed me, consider yourself officially warned; I will be writing about you — even if I don’t remember your name. Stay Tuned!
If you liked this post, check out 13 Reasons I’m Convinced That Taylor Swift Is Stalking Me.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Degrees and Dating

The Appeal Of Higher Education: How Your Graduate Degree Stacks Up In The Dating Game

January 18, 2015/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

Here at CMB, we know that our users are intelligent — you’re smart enough to have chosen us after all! Joking aside, what you may not know is that we are indeed, statistically, a favorite among highly educated professionals. Believe it or not, over 25% of our member base has a master’s degree or higher. Compare that to the national average of people with master’s degrees or higher at 12%, you guys are a bunch of smarty pants!

Naturally, we were curious to see if having a graduate degree has any correlation to a member’s attractiveness and preferences. We looked at over 20 million matches and here’s what we found. Let’s start with the dudes.

Men & Their Graduate Degrees

MA Dating

Right off the bat you’ll probably notice that for men, professional degrees (i.e., MD, MBA, JD) garner a higher percentage of likes than those with more general graduate degrees (i.e., PhD, Master’s). In fact, having a PhD or master’s seems to have no impact on men’s popularity at all! And it’s pretty clear that those professional degree holders know what’s up — they PASS on their Bagels the most frequently.

Women & Their Graduate Degrees

MA Dating

As always, men and women are as different as Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift, and our study proves no exception. Men didn’t seem too hot for the women holding professional or other higher degrees; in fact, they preferred ladies who only have their bachelor’s degree!!! So essentially ladies, all of those extra years of school you endured were totally useless as far as your dating life is concerned. The good news is, we don’t think this is a sign that men don’t find high achieving women attractive — after all, female MDs were the second most liked. My hypothesis? Maybe the issue here is more related to age. Naturally, a woman with a PhD would be significantly older than a recent undergrad graduate, and you know how men love younger women — I’m totally rolling my eyes right now.

What’s interesting is that women holding only undergrad degrees were also the pickiest, followed again by MDs. I guess popular groups just have a sixth sense about these things and know they can be picky.

How Does One’s Profile Differ by Their Degree?

Given that the type of degree someone holds has a clear impact on their attractiveness level, I was curious if there is a distinctive difference in the way people present themselves on their profiles, depending on the degree they have – i.e., are there words or phrases those with MBAs use a lot more than those with PhDs?
We loved how OkCupid conducted a similar study (but with race), so we emulated their methodology in this study. We looked at Coffee Meets Bagel users’ profiles and isolated words and phrases in their profiles that made each degree holder’s profiles statistically distinct from the other’s. The results? Alas, the differences were very noticeable. The charts below show the words people use most frequently, grouped by their degrees.
(FYI – For those of you who are not familiar with Coffee Meets Bagel, here’s an example of what a member’s profile looks like on Coffee Meets Bagel (this is mine). The words used in the last three sections of the profile are what we used for this study.)
Terrell W. Orr
MA Dating

I love how diverse the trending words for the bagels with their master’s degrees are. It just goes to show how diverse our users are, and how many topics there are to be passionate about, which makes me smile. From coding to designing to nursing, these bagels must be super creative. There are also apparently a lot of freckle-faced, curly haired master’s students. I presume that “flakey” isn’t trending because these MAs are calling themselves flakey, but probably because they don’t like flakey dates. So now you know: don’t be late for your dates of eating pies and playing cricket!

MBA Dating

Check that out: “corporate,” “start-ups,” “economist,” “counting,” “finance,” blah, blah, blah. How predictable. MBAs also love to talk about their travels and have (IMO) great taste in wine. If you’re searching for a hottie with an MBA, you might want to check out your local bocce ball and squash courts; I guess businessmen enjoy really obscure lawn games and some of the best gaming PCs.

JD Dating

The trend of alluding to your profession/degree in your profile is recurring. “Lawyer,” “law,” “justice,” “rights,” “legal,” even “oxford commas” are no surprise here. But according to our data, Lawyers are also raging meat lovers. I certainly can’t picture any lawyers I know on a trapeze or wearing jorts, but apparently that’s a thing. I’m only just a tad bit concerned about the trends of “whipping” and “bleeding.” I know lawyers can be scary, but that just brings it to a whole new level.

MD Dating

Again, all of the major trends with our doctor bagels revolve around the field of medicine, but we’re wondering if these bagels with MDs are talking about the scrubs they wear to work or the TV show. After all, it appears that these docs are quite fond of lounging around watching Glee and Aziz Ansari. I don’t blame them though, they must be exhausted when they finally do have time off; I know these things, I watch Grey’s Anatomy. But, I’m sorry, what’s with “gangsta” and “yo?”

PhD Dating

Our members who have PhDs mentioned a bunch of words relating to academics, which makes sense. I mean, if you decide to dedicate your life to studying one specific thing, it’s probably important enough to you to mention it in your dating profile, no? But these academics also have a bunch of totally random shared interests: croissants? squash? wizards?!? Also, does anyone know what the heck “flipping” is? Urban Dictionary is telling me it’s either a term related to drug use, a slang word for “doing the deed,” or the act of stealing the contents of someone’s backpack. Something tells me that’s not what these doctors of academia are talking about.

We can’t be totally sure what’s going on here, but it sure is interesting. Overall, it looks like men are into ladies with less smarts than them (frowny face), and women lust after doctors and businessmen. What are your thoughts? Leave us comments, especially if you have any idea what the heck “flipping” means.

If you liked this post, check out The Biological Reason Why He Or She Is Just Not That Into You.


About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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sex, sex secrets, virginity, losing virginity,

Confessions from 7,200 singles: 10 Sex Secrets Revealed

June 20, 2014/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Travis Noddings

At some point in your life, you’ve probably wondered if you’re living up to your sex potential.
Am I getting it enough? Have I been adventurous? Why can’t I stop imagining threesomes?
And most importantly, does anyone else worry about this stuff?
Well 7,200 Coffee Meets Bagel singles have spoken out, and the good news is in—you’re not alone. Check out these 10 Sex Secrets, and see how you match up!
Top 10 Sex Secrets Revealed
If you enjoyed this post and want to see more dating stats, check out 9 Body Confessions from Singles.


Fill out my online form.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

App Store
Get it on Google Play

Dating stats

The Biological Reasons Why She Or He Is Not That Into You

June 19, 2014/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger
The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Everett Wetchler

Ladies firstIt’s a nice thought. “Love is blind.” “Money doesn’t buy happiness.” “Cocoa Puffs are part of a balanced breakfast.” Alright, only General Mills and I say the last one, but “age is just a number” is one of those mantras that may not be as true as we’d like it to be. Or is it?
At Coffee Meets Bagel, we get to test a lot of theories about human relationships, using our superpowers of data, statistics, and nosiness. Today let’s look at age in heterosexual relationships. There are many urban myths in this department — that women like older men,  that men like younger women (and avoid women over 30), etc. We’ll look at these as we analyze how often users of various ages “Like” each other on the site.

And, as expected, they’re more complex.
How to read this chart (nerds, skip this): Green blocks are where women really like men. For example, 22 year old women really like 23-24 year old guys. Red blocks are the opposite — for example, 33 year old women really don’t like 27 year old men. Yellow is average. The white area is where we don’t have enough data to say anything confidently. The bar on the right helps you translate colors to real percentages, if you’re curious.
dating stats

There are a few trends to note here.
At first glance, it seems that women mostly like men who are a little bit older. This comes as a shock… to nobody.
The line of red blocks along the bottom shows that women lose their taste for men quickly when they’re even a little younger.
What is surprising, though, is that women seem pretty happy with men the same age. Follow that dotted line — it’s mostly pleasantly green blocks. Averaging across users, let’s graph women’s tastes based on the difference from his age to hers.
Screen Shot 2014-04-07 at 7.07.44 PM
Women’s first choice, in fact, is men about the same age. Being younger costs them dearly, but being more than a little older costs them too. The myth of women being drawn to significantly older men (“Silver Foxes”) is just not supported. Hugh Hefner’s harem aside, it seems most women are not looking for the oldest, richest guy around. *Polite clap*
One more question — do women get less choosy as they get older? Let’s break up that last graph by women under and over 30:
Screen Shot 2014-04-08 at 5.33.14 PM
Older women universally “Like” men more often, of all ages, so yes it appears they get (marginally) less choosy. Especially when considering more-than-slightly-older men.
In brief: women aren’t actually seeking older men, but they are more tolerant of them. To a point. Silver foxes, besides George Clooney and the Dos Equis guy, are still more wrinkly than sexy.

On to the gentlemen

Buckle up boys, it’s going to be an uncomfortable ride.
Screen Shot 2014-03-28 at 10.11.53 PM.png
First, look how smooth this pattern is. The women at least required some thought to understand, but men’s tastes are about as complicated as a four-piece jigsaw puzzle.
Men of all ages will resoundingly pass over a younger woman for an even-younger one (the blocks get perpetually greener going down, as women get younger). You might expect that there would be at least SOME point where a woman being younger stops being better, that men would find such youthfulness immature or short on life experience, but that doesn’t happen.
Just to highlight how impressive this is — here is the same graph, with a line drawn in the bottom-right for the (admittedly unscientific) half your age plus 7 rule of socially acceptable dating. I relaxed the sample size threshold a bit (so there are more blocks filled in, but you can see it gets noisier) to clearly show what “over the line” behavior looks like.
Screen Shot 2014-04-07 at 2.13.01 AM.png
Not only are men OK with women below the half-age-plus-7 line, but those ladies are their FAVORITES. Different cultures have different views on age disparity, but it appears that the male appetite for younger women knows no bounds.

On that note, let’s recap. Women care about a man’s age *relative* to her own, while men care substantially more about a woman’s *absolute* age. The graph below drives the point home.
Screen Shot 2014-04-10 at 11.12.34 AM
Other things equal, a man being older doesn’t help him a lot. But for women, the message is clear: younger = better liked. It may not be convenient, but there you have it.
For women, it’s also interesting to note that there is nothing special about the age of 30. The downward slope is pretty consistent from ages 22-35, with every year mattering about the same as the next. So relax about hitting the big three-oh. That one really IS just a number.

In search of a cause

This is where data analysis becomes more art than science. Yes, men tend to prefer younger women, that’s pretty conclusively supported. And yes, the All Men Are Scoundrels theory is one (cheap) explanation that fits. With a little outside research, however, we could tell another story.
Let’s back up. Why do we date? Lots of reasons — for fun, for sex, for companionship, or to start a family. And according to this data, men (not women) choose their dates to optimize for starting a family. Subconsciously at least.
I’ll back that up in one word: fertility. Well, two words: historical fertility. There’s a great wikipedia page on Age and Female Fertility, but the upshot is summarized in one sentence: “A woman’s fertility peaks in her early and mid-20s, after which it starts to decline, with this decline being accelerated after age 35.” As you can see in the graph above, the gap between how often men and women are liked is greatest at 22, and gradually declines, eventually vanishing around 35. Whether you buy the causality is up to you, but the biological correlation is undeniable.
Granted, with modern medicine women have a high chance of conceiving well into their 40’s, but for 99.99% of human evolution, this was not true, and men’s tastes are likely not up to date. It’s a pretty safe bet that, in most situations, men aren’t thinking about conceiving a baby when they ask a woman out, but their preferences certainly correlate with that motive.
Shouldn’t women care about fertile men, too? Male fertility is a significant issue, with the onset sooner than you might think. A man’s virility peaks around age 22, declining over time, and as he enters his 40s, it can take many more months to conceive a child with his partner. Yet women’s tastes resoundingly don’t vote for the fastest swimmers. They vote for men who are about the same age, regardless of what age that is. Perhaps they are optimizing for long term companionship, or parental investment, and indeed their preferences align extremely well with what actually happens in marriages.

Beyond the obvious

The takeaway here is not that a woman’s desirability is purely a function of her uterus. Everyone, men and women of all ages, are liked at minimum about 20% of the time. Being a woman with a high historical fertility helps her chances, but it’s still a minority factor. Let’s take that graph of how women are liked by age, and color some things in:
Screen Shot 2014-04-10 at 11.59.49 AM
We can’t just compare the raw size of these regions without committing crimes against statistics, but the overall point is still legitimate: most of why people are liked, male or female, has nothing to do with their reproductive ability. For any age, even 22 year old women, more than half of their appeal is not fertility-motivated.

One bonus of being an older woman is that while you get fewer likes on average than your younger counterparts, those likes are much more attributable to something specific to you. Here’s a couple of pie charts showing the tradeoff:
Screen Shot 2014-04-10 at 1.32.29 PMScreen Shot 2014-04-10 at 1.32.56 PM.png

The dating game undoubtedly changes with age. But depending on what you’re looking for, it may only get sweeter.
Did you enjoy this post? Then make sure to check out another dating stats piece: Attention All Nerds! Are Nerds Really The New Cool? 


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a dating app designed with women in mind. Founded by 3 sisters in 2012 in NYC, CMB aims to deliver a fun, safe, and quality dating experience that results in meaningful relationships.

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Degrees and Dating

Here’s How Your MBA Is Affecting Your Love Life

January 11, 2014/in Date Stats /by CMB

Here at CMB, we know that our users are intelligent — you’re smart enough to have chosen us after all! Joking aside, what you may not know is that we are indeed, statistically, a favorite among highly educated professionals. Believe it or not, over 35% of our member base has a master’s degree or higher. Compare that to the national average of people with master’s degrees or higher at 12%, you guys are a bunch of smarty pants!

Naturally, we were curious to see if having a graduate degree, or other further degree, has any correlation to a member’s attractiveness and preferences. We looked at over 20 million matches and here’s what we found. Let’s start with the dudes.

Men & Their MBAs

MA Dating

Well check you guys out! Not only are you the second most liked degree, but you’re also pretty dang picky when it comes to who you LIKE on CMB! Don’t feel too bad about coming in second to the doctor bagels — they did go to school for like, 5 more years than you did. What’s weird though is that you guys surpass everyone else while you’ve spent the least amount of time in school post-undergrad. My theory is that I bet most of you have to wear suits to work and no man looks bad in a good suit. Extra points if you wear bow ties.

Women & Their MBAs

MA Dating

As always, men and women are as different as Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift, and our study proves no exception. Almost opposite to what women prefer, men aren’t particularly hot for women with MBAs (or for women holding any other professional or other higher degrees)! Ladies with only their bachelor’s degree seem to catch their eye most often. Essentially, all of those extra years of school you endured were totally useless as far as your dating life is concerned (which is totally why you went back to school, isn’t it? wink wink). The good news is, we don’t think this is a sign that men don’t find high achieving women attractive — after all, female MDs were the second most liked. My hypothesis? Maybe the issue here is more related to age. Naturally, a woman with a PhD would be significantly older than a recent undergrad graduate, and you know how those men love those younger women — I’m totally rolling my eyes right now.

What’s interesting is that women holding only undergrad degrees were also the pickiest, followed again by MDs. I guess popular groups just have a sixth sense about these things and know they can be picky.

What’s Trending In The Profiles Of Bagels With MBAs?

Realizing that the type of degree someone holds has a clear impact on their attractiveness, I was curious if there is a distinctive way people with different degrees present themselves on their profiles. Are there words or phrases that are commonly used amongst bagels with their MBA?
We loved how OkCupid conducted a similar study (but with race), so we emulated their methodology in this study. We looked at all of our users who have a MBA’s profiles and isolated words and phrases in their profiles that were used most frequently. The results? Check out the chart below.
Terrell W. Orr
FYI – For those of you who are not familiar with Coffee Meets Bagel, here’s an example of what a member’s profile looks like on Coffee Meets Bagel (this is mine). The words used in the last three sections of the profile are what we used for this study.
MBA Dating

Oh how you business people can be so predictable: “corporate,” “start-ups,” “economist,” “counting,” “finance,” you’re obsessed with your jobs! However, it looks like MBAs also love to travel, and they have great taste in wine (in my opinion). If you’re searching for a fellow hottie with an MBA, you might want to check out your local bocce ball and squash courts; apparently businessmen and women enjoy really obscure lawn games.

We can’t be totally sure what’s going on here, but it sure is interesting. Overall, it looks like men are into women with less smarts than them (frowny face), and women lust after doctors and businessmen. What do you think?

If you liked this post, check out The Biological Reason Why He Or She Is Just Not That Into You.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Dating Advice for Gay Men

8 Body Confessions from Gay Single Men

January 7, 2014/in Date Stats, LGBT Dating /by CMB

Dating X File is back with more juicy truth about dating – this time on how your fitness level is impacting your dating life!
Take a look at what 600 Coffee Meets Bagel gay single men have told us on the relationship between fitness & dating – A must-know insight for all singles, especially if your New Year’s resolution includes getting more fit!
Gay Singles' Guide to New Year's Resolution around Fitness


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Degrees and Dating

What Having A PhD Means For Your Love Life

January 12, 2010/in Date Stats /by Guest Blogger

Here at CMB, we know that our users are intelligent — you’re smart enough to have chosen us after all! Joking aside, what you may not know is that we are indeed, statistically, a favorite among highly educated professionals. Believe it or not, over 35% of our member base has a master’s degree or higher. Compare that to the national average of people with master’s degrees or higher at 12%, you guys are a bunch of smarty pants!

Naturally, we were curious to see if having a graduate degree, or other further degree, has any correlation to a member’s attractiveness and preferences. We looked at over 20 million matches and here’s what we found. Let’s start with the dudes.

Men & Their PhDs

MA Dating

Sorry dudes, looks like your PhD isn’t helping you out much in the dating world. It could be worse though, but you also deserve mad props for being the second most open to LIKEing your bagels. What it looks like is that more general degrees (i.e., PhD, Master’s, Bachelor’s) are getting liked the least, which I think might have to do with their lack of specificity — you could be studying anything from dance to chemical engineering, so your area of study is probably more important to bagels than your level of degree. So keep on trucking, keep on learning, and hang that degree with pride!

Women & Their PhDs

MA Dating

As always, men and women are as different as Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift, and our study proves no exception. Men didn’t seem too hot for the women holding professional or other higher degrees; in fact, they preferred ladies who only have their bachelor’s degree!!! So essentially ladies, all of those extra years of school you endured were totally useless as far as your dating life is concerned. The good news is, we don’t think this is a sign that men don’t find high achieving women attractive — after all, female MDs were the second most liked. My hypothesis? Maybe the issue here is more related to age. Naturally, if you have a PhD, you’ve been in school for quite a while and are thus significantly older than a recent undergrad graduate, and you know how those men love those younger women — I’m totally rolling my eyes right now.

What’s interesting is that women holding only undergrad degrees were also the pickiest, followed again by MDs. I guess popular groups just have a sixth sense about these things and know they can be picky, but what fun is being picky? By being as open as you are (third least picky!) you guys are meeting a more diverse group of guys to banter about your dissertation with, so keep it up and don’t let the haters get you down.

What’s Trending In The Profiles Of Bagels With PhDs?

Realizing that the type of degree someone holds has a clear impact on their attractiveness, I was curious if there is a distinctive way people with different degrees present themselves on their profiles. Are there words or phrases that are commonly used amongst bagels with PhDs?
We loved how OkCupid conducted a similar study (but with race), so we emulated their methodology in this study. We looked at all of our users who have a PhD’s profiles and isolated words and phrases in their profiles that were used most frequently. The results? Check out the chart below.
Terrell W. Orr
FYI – For those of you who are not familiar with Coffee Meets Bagel, here’s an example of what a member’s profile looks like on Coffee Meets Bagel (this is mine). The words used in the last three sections of the profile are what we used for this study.

PhD Dating

Our members with PhDs mentioned a bunch of words relating to academics, which makes sense. I mean, you decide to dedicate your life to studying one specific thing, it’s probably important enough to you to mention it in your dating profile, no? But you guys also have a bunch of totally random shared interests: croissants? squash? wizards?!? Also, does anyone know what the heck “flipping” is? Urban Dictionary is telling me it’s either a term related to drug use, a slang word for “doing the deed,” or the act of stealing the contents of someone’s backpack. Something tells me that’s not what you doctors of academia are talking about.

We can’t be totally sure what’s going on here, but it sure is interesting. Overall, it looks like men are into ladies with less smarts than them (frowny face), and women lust after doctors and businessmen. What do you think? Leave us comments, especially if you have any idea what the heck “flipping” means.

If you liked this post, check out The Biological Reason Why He Or She Is Just Not That Into You.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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