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Phoebe and Logan

This Is What Happened After One Woman Tried A Dating App For The First Time

November 10, 2014/in Dating in NYC /by CMB

Phoebe and Logan's Profiles
“I never did online dating– it was right for some people, but not for me.” says Phoebe. She describes  a preconceived notion that online dating was for those who might be too timid to meet people in real life. Yet, despite her reservations, she signed up for Coffee Meets Bagel in solidarity with a friend. Just a few weeks into her membership, she found Logan.
“I like’d Logan because of his pictures, but not for the reasons you might think.” Phoebe recalls. “His last picture…was him in some sort of homemade costume, clearly referencing something pop-culture-y…it told me that he didn’t take himself too seriously.” The part that caught Logan’s eye was, “where I said that I appreciate when my date ‘texts with complete sentences and punctuation,’” Phoebe says. These quirky details may have sparked in them similar longings for uniqueness and light-heartedness. Exactly twenty-four minutes after their mutual like, they became involved in a virtual tête a tête Phoebe describes as witty and intelligent.
On their first date, she recalls an anxious stream of thoughts as she waited outside Hungarian Pastry Shop. To the outsider, it sounds like butterflies. Her first time meeting an individual she had met online turned into the buds of a relationship. “A few hours [after the date] something sunk in and I had that deep, uncomfortable, hot, happy feeling of possibility.” Phoebe says. Despite previous experiences where she had been “deeply hurt” and “…cast aside by a series of ‘good guys’” they became official about a month after their first date. Her advice to Coffee Meets Bagel members looking for love is to “be straightforward,” and to most importantly “release your expectations of how things should happen.” She didn’t expect to have to, but when she signed up for Coffee Meets Bagel, she took her own advice. “Open yourself up to the romance of the everyday stuff.” Phoebe aptly says. She did, and she found her Bagel.
Phoebe and Logan's Timeline
Did you enjoy reading this post? Then check out “How Two Men Found Love Where They Least Expected It.”
 


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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A gal's experiment with online dating: Guys in NY vs. SF

December 5, 2012/in CMB Says, Date Stats, Uncategorized /by CMB

I guess you could say it was a hectic weekend— after all, I did get four different phone numbers from four different people in two very different cities.

The Experiment:

There are four single gals working at Coffee Meets Bagel and you know what that means -most of our noons are spent comparing our Bagels and 90% of our office conversation revolves around dating & guys. One of these many conversations was on online dating with guys in SF vs. NY, as some of us are native Californians and some relocated from NY. The heated debate about the quality of guys in the two cities led to an interesting experiment proposal: To sign up for an online dating site in both NY & SF with the same exact profile and compare the guys that approached us. (We selfishly didn’t want to “experiment” with our own members so signed up for another site which shall remain anonymous). Of course, I was picked as a guinea pig.

Results:

In just one weekend, I found a city’s dating scene is very much reflective of its culture.

Guys in NYC

Let’s start off with NYC. From the 12 messages that I received in just 2 days, I noticed a trend between them all. The basic theme was “What’s your number? Let me buy you a drink.” The messages were blunt and straight to the point; it was as if all these guys were pressed for time! They weren’t looking to make a small talk with me through online chat – they wanted to meet me and see for themselves what kind of person I am. Very reflective of the NYC culture: fast-paced, direct, and upfront.

Guys in SF

The dating scene in SF was a whole other ballgame. From the 16 messages I received, what I experienced was long chats on Saturday and Sunday nights about topics ranging from school to work to music. Whether or not they were doing this because they wanted to get to know me or they were just timid, I guess I’ll never know. What I do know is that these guys were definitely not the “let’s meet up now and figure out who we are later” type; these guys wanted to get to know me before they made their decision to ask me out. To me, this seemed much more familiar. As a Bay Area native, I’ve grown accustomed to a slower environment of dating and getting to know someone. Things are much more slow-paced and relaxed.

Simple comparison charts (caveat: highly subjective):

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Notable message:

image

And the winning city is…!!

So what’s the verdict here? Surprisingly enough, I found myself preferring NYC’s style. I thought I would prefer the more relaxed appeal that SF had to offer, but there was something in the straightforward, “I-don’t-have-time-for-small-talk” attitude that I found so refreshing. My heart belongs to the Bay Area, but I have to admit: I much prefer the no-bullshit approach that NYC has to offer. SF guys! Can we be a little bit more blunt!

About the writer: Michelle is the Head of Community at Coffee Meets Bagel.

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