It’s one thing to get creepy messages from guys online, but in real life? And on the first date? Gentlemen, there is a time and place for salacious sayings, but not when we’ve just met, because as opposed to friend-zoning you, we ladies are going to creep-zone you.
For those of you endowed with the Y chromosome, please take heed of my tip and avoid saying anything as remotely unwelcoming as these sampling of creeptastic statements I’ve received upon first meetings.
1) “I’ve been to the red-light district in San Francisco.”
Less than ten minutes later, after we stepped out of the boba shop, he asked me where I was headed off to.
I responded with a question: “Which way are YOU heading?”
He pointed East.
I pointed West.
We shook hands and made no attempt to ever get in contact ever again.
2) “When I went to Amsterdam for a conference with my professor and fellow Master’s candidates, I figured this was the only time in my life I’d be single while in Amsterdam, so I went to go to the red-light district and got a blow job.”
What is up with me running into another guy who went to a red light district? And the bonus to this date? When the campus bell tower rang nine times (for context, we were both on the UC Berkeley campus, and it was nighttime), he told me, “Well, I gotta get back home and finish my presentation for tomorrow!” He hugged me good-bye before running off. Really? He didn’t feel the need to walk me home to make sure I didn’t get killed on the way?
3) “Have you ever thought of being a camgirl?”
Is that your way of trying to compliment me by telling me I’m so sexy, I should show off my goods on the internet? If so, you failed to flatter me.
4) “I’ve never been with an Asian girl before!”
NO, I am not a sampling platter of exotic Oriental fares. Get away from me.
5) “I kinda got erect hugging you!”
Did I really need to know that?
6) “What do you think of rape play?”
Wait, we just met, and you’re bringing up this topic?
7) “Making out is for kids, oral is for adults.”
The gif above is pretty self-explanatory.
Ladies, do you have any creeptastic things guys have told you that you would like to share? Gentlemen, have YOU had any unforward comments made by girls?
If you enjoyed this post, perhaps you’ll want to read 13 Game of Thrones Reactions to Online Dating.
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.
Shall we redefine “confident men”
Here is what I saw at Cindy Sherman’s Exhibit at MoMA over the weekend…It hit me hard.
The woman who is sadly gazing at the phone is actually Cindy Sherman herself, which made this piece more powerful and I think easier for the audience to relate to. She used herself as a medium in connecting with the audience to share her vision and feelings.
Looking at this photograph I felt the sadness, disappointment and pure ache she was feeling as she waited for her man to call.
Having a moment in MoMA, I absolutely felt and understood this woman.
How many times have you wondered- “why is he not calling back?”
Does falling asleep with your cellphone next to your pillow so you won’t miss a call, and waking up to nothing sound all too familiar to you?
This could happen after a night out at the bar, after a first date or even after many dates- but the ‘no call back’ happens way too frequently.
Christian Carter laid it down for us on Shape.com why guys don’t call back, and the reasons are quite obvious but spot on. Here are the reasons Carter gives for why men don’t call back:
1. They have trouble being honest and being vulnerable
2. If they are looking for a fling rather than something serious
3. They were just being polite earlier
4. They lost interest in you
5. They lost your number- or simply forgot to call
These scenarios arise mostly after couple of casual dates when everything about the relationship is up in the air. The question and problem here are how the women deal with these scenarios- after the guy doesn’t call for awhile. The idealistic way to put an end to this while still being sane is for the woman to keep her cool and to move on. However generally that’s not case. Rather than saying, “Forget it!” she will probably be vent over a tub of ice cream or continue to hold on to the phone while waiting for his call.
It made me wonder why women still feel like men leave them in the dark when these reasons are quite self explanatory. I truly believe its the fear of rejection that causes drama when the man doesn’t call back. All of the hidden insecurities creep up and hurts the woman’s ego and make her question, “What did I do wrong?” when really he didn’t call because of reason #1, 2, or 5- reasons she had no control over.
Women have to understand how men’s minds work and not take simple gestures too seriously. If he doesn’t call back there’s nothing to read into. He is not interested in you up to the point you would like him to. So either give him the time and space for him to grow to like you, or move on.
The universal question is though, do men suffer as much as women do when they don’t get a call they are expecting? I’ve seen men be upset for couple of days if his date falls through, but haven’t seen a man sulk over a tub of ice cream while staring at the phone hoping for it to light up.
Are men simply insensitive and more ready to go back into the dating scene immediately? Or do women get emotionally invested too soon?