Helen got a lucrative job in a prestigious company as a Secretary. She was on a lunch break one day, when she saw a young, handsome and tall man. She just liked him immediately. She later discovered that he works in the same office with her. From then on, she decided to get to know more about John. She got to know that John was an eligible bachelor with no relationship in the offing. She tried to get close to John during lunch breaks, but he seems not to notice her or come close to her. He did not know what was going on in Helen’s mind. Helen was devastated and did not know what to do…
Human beings are created to love and be loved. This is why it hurts when your love is not returned. Nothing can be disheartening and disappointing as to love a man who doesn’t love you back. However, it is a situation that many women have had to go through. Some of them gave up when the guy in question did not understand their intent and some pursued the cause to fruition. In this article, I will be looking at what you can do when you find yourself in such a situation.
Loving someone who does not love you back is not something to be ashamed of. It is part of life and should be treated as one of those things one has to go through in life. Having said this, I will highlight four (4) things you can do. However, if you try these things and none work for you, I will advise you move on with your life. There are many men out there who will love you for who you are.
1. Draw close to him
The first thing you can do when you love a man who does not love you back is to find any available avenue to move close to him. If you work in the same place, make sure you find out where he hangs out during launch. Know his friends, his likes and dislikes, etc. You can then move ahead to monitor when he goes for launch, once you know that, adjust your time and go for launch too. Make sure you order for the same thing he wants to eat or drink and sit close to him as much as possible. When you finally get an audience with him, introduce yourself to him. Afterwards, make sure your meeting with him looks like coincidence as much as possible. If he is interested in you, he will make a move and if not move to step number 2.
2. Ask him out
If after two weeks, nothing happened, then ask him out. Tell him something like this, ” Hi, John, how are you today? I heard of a new film that will be shown in the Cinema tonight and I will love to watch it. But I don’t want to go alone, will you like to go with me? if he says yes, good and if it is a ‘no’ and make some excuses, don’t be disappointed, there is always another time. If it is a “yes”, arrange for him to pick you up at your place.
That is a great way to start. If he has interest in you, he will honour your invitation and then make moves, but if he’s not making any move after that, proceed to step number 3.
3. Tell him how you feel
This is the most difficult part! if after you tried points no. 1 – 2 and the guy is not getting it. After sometime, let him know how you feel. Some people don’t like this approach due to many reasons. Some think if you tell a guy how you feel about him, he will take you for granted and will not respect you. I don’t think that is true. This can only happen if the guy in question is not mature. I have heard of a woman who did this and later got married to the man. They have a great marriage today. I think it depends on personal belief and standard. Instead of dying inside, why not tell the guy and get it over with. if he says ‘no’, then you move on with your life or try the next step.
4. Keep being friends
As much as possible, keep being friends with the guy. Sometimes, love is never a mutual feeling, the second party will grow to love you when you let them know you love them. I have observed that sometimes in the dynamics of affection and relationships, feelings can be quite fluid, changing from time to time. A person who may not like you now probably because they feel you don’t measure up to their standards might later wonder how they managed to let you slip. Just be yourself, love yourself and show how it is anyone’s loss to miss out on you. Hopefully he’ll come around and if he doesn’t, life is too short to be sad and lovesick. You will find another who will like you for you.
Back to our story above, Helen did not give up on John, she followed the points above and John understood her feelings when she asked him out. They went out together, had a nice time and became lovers.
Now, you have the four steps you can do when you love a guy who does not love you back. You can try to get close to him, ask him out, tell him how you feel and if he doesn’t get it, keep him as a friend or let him go.
Love grows and does not always happen suddenly. Someone you feel does not love you may later love you back. Love happens in ways you can’t explain. So, don’t give up, keep on looking for love and one day, you will find it.
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.