Coffee Meets Bagel
  • Home
  • Careers
    • CMB Culture
    • Open Positions
  • Blog
  • Help Center
  • Press
  • Terms, Privacy, & Copyright
  • Menu
You are here: Home / college dating

Posts

PLUR, rave, dating, peace, love, unity, respect

How Raving & PLUR Changed My Perspective On Dating

July 15, 2014/in Dating for Men /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Bronson Farr

Raving isn’t exactly the first thing that comes to mind when you think about going out on a date. In fact, my ideal first date actually entails going out for milkshakes at my favorite diner by the beach followed by taking a stroll on the sand while watching the sun set.
As a heterosexual male in his early 20’s living in the 21st Century, my idea of dating looks something like this:

  1. Find a VERY pretty girl.
  2. Get VERY pretty girl’s number.
  3. Ask her out on a date.
  4. Repeat steps 1-3 with another VERY pretty girl if rejected.
  5. Ask VERY pretty girl on a second date.
  6. TIME TO PURSUE THAT if there is chemistry.
  7. Ask VERY pretty girl to be my girlfriend when we are comfortable enough with each other.
  8. Yay relationship* (*relationships come along with arguments and spending a lot of money).
  9. Things don’t work out? Repeat steps 1-8 with a different VERY pretty girl.
  10. Things work out. Pop the question and tie the knot.

As you can see, this is a pretty linear model as to what I thought dating was about, which pretty much boils down to getting the girl of my dreams, falling in love with her, and living happily ever after with our new family. But my whole perspective on dating changed after attending this year’s Electric Daisy Carnival in Las Vegas.
The Electric Daisy Carnival (EDC) in Las Vegas is considered to be the largest rave out on the West Coast…and by God did it live up to expectation.
I saw some of my favorite artists such as Calvin Harris and Chromeo, made kandi bracelets and traded them with other people, making friends in the process; and I even got the chance to see one of my childhood friends. Not only that, but the entire Las Vegas Speedway was covered in lights, giant ferris wheels and other colorful carnival rides lit up the night sky, and fellow ravers were giving each other light shows with their customized LED gloves (and did I mention that there were a ton of lights around?)

PlUR, Calvin Harris, rave, dating, EDM, Peace, Love, Unity, Respect

Calvin Harris spinning at EDC Las Vegas 2014

The thing that stuck out the most to me, however, was this notion of “PLUR” that was floating around the festival grounds. A new acquaintance, who was part of my rave group, explained to me that this acronym is the reason why everyone at an electronic dance music (EDM) concert or festival is super friendly. Now I am fairly new to the rave scence, having only gone to two other performances prior to EDC, and didn’t have a clue as to what PLUR was.

SO WHAT IS PLUR?

For those of you who don’t know, PLUR stands for Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect. This is the creed that ravers live by and can be seen through their smiles, hugs, and even a special handshake.
The phrase got it’s start from DJ Frankie Bones who broke up a fight at a rave in 1991 in New York saying, ““You better start showing some Peace, Love and Unity, or I will break your $%^ing faces” (via JoJo Electro). The “respect” portion was added in not too long after.
PLUR, Dating, PLUR, definition, peace, love, unity, respect
While the words that come together to form PLUR are pretty self explanatory, there is actually a lot more to it. Let’s break it down to get a better understanding(via Peace & Loveism):

  • Peace – Letting go of fear and living at peace with oneself, one another, and the planet for a greater good
  • Love – As one learns to love oneself, one is able to love everyone else unconditionally
  • Unity – A mutual, corporate bond is formed resulting from the love and peace experienced with one another
  • Respect – Because of peace love and unity, one can accept others regardless of their beliefs or background

Taking a step back you can see this is a great motto to practice at concerts and festivals. And I’ve personally seen it in action. My first EDC was filled with countless high fives, warm hugs, and people even checking up on me when I wasn’t feeling too well and  lying on the ground
But what if I told you that PLUR isn’t just for EDM fans, that it can exist without all of electronic music and the kandi kids in the rave scene?

RAVING & DATING?

Going back to my original line of thinking when it comes to dating… it’s not always about pursuing the “happily ever after” life. Every relationship needs some form of peace, love, unity, and respect.
“But, Bronson, I’m already in a loving relationship already filled with peace, love, unity, and respect! Should I change my entire lifestyle to accommodate PLUR?”
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I’m not saying that you should change your lifestyle to accommodate this movement. You don’t need to go to the next EDM festival nearest you and give out as many hugs as you can, and you don’t need to trade beaded bracelets to signify your respect with another person. My point is that PLUR isn’t just for the ravers, it’s for everyone.
Every relationship needs peace, or else both persons would just be either way too pissed off or getting into shouting arguments about who’s the better cook. Relationships need love or else there would be no romance that would spice things up a bit. This also includes tough love that isn’t always happy, but still shows that you care for each other. Couples need unity in order to make big decisions together such as tying the knot or moving in together. And most importantly, every relationship requires respect. That means respecting each other’s boundaries, and being sure not to step over them.
PLUR, heart, kandi, rave, dating, peace, love, unity, respect
PLUR is a universal concept that everyone can pick up on. You might even be putting it to practice in your relationship and not even know it, and that’s okay. PLUR is similar to the notion of “give and take”. When it comes dating, a single person can’t have everything his/her way, it’s more of a two way street where trade happens. The two people must find a balance so that their relationship needs are met, while still meeting their personal wants/needs.

IN CONCLUSION…

Before I finish I would like to note that there is talk amongst some older and more experienced ravers about how the PLUR movement, more specifically the main concept of PLUR, is dying within the rave scene. Personally, I don’t see how it is dying seeing as how my experience at EDC showed me that it was alive and well. But at the same time, I see a chance for this movement to stay alive through the people and couples who choose to practice it in their lives.
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

Coffee Meets Bagel, Best Dating App

 

5 Truths of Online Dating In College

April 28, 2014/in CMB Updates /by Guest Blogger

It’s a weird concept: to be dating “online” as a college student. Most of my friends met their significant others organically, but I have a handful of friends who found their special someone via dating apps, even as a junior in college. I decided to use Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB), and here are the observations that I made.

1. Dating In College Is Pretty Terrible

best dating app

It’s really difficult to meet people organically because everyone is sewn to their phones and thinking of what their next move is going to be on Instagram or Snapchat. Guys, at least at my school, are pretty rude as soon as the sun goes down. We’re expected to find ‘the one’ and be on the track to marriage by age 22, yet all college students want to do is grind at a bar, go home with someone and never have to see them again. A lot of 20-somethings are just looking for a hookup, and with CMB, you know that the person is most likely looking for something a little more serious and mature.

2. Meeting People Is Really Difficult In the “Real World”

best dating app

Yes, networking is incredibly easy when you’re in the startup world, but to meet potential lovers is tough. You can’t tell if someone is interested, not interested or just being a creep. Some of my friends use dating apps just to make friends. If it doesn’t work out romantically, there is no shame in befriending an ex-potential date. You may still be compatible, just not the way you had originally intended to be.

3. There’s A Stigma (or is there?)

best dating app

When I first told my friends and family that I would be working at CMB everyone was totally fine with it. When they found out I was actually using the dating app, they weren’t nearly as excited. When I burst my college bubble by moving to SF, I realized that everyone here is signed up for at least one dating app, and if they aren’t, it’s because they’ve been in a serious relationship for forever and are no longer in the market. Back home, people weren’t nearly as turned on to the idea of online dating, but here, it’s completely the norm. It bothers me when people complain about not having a significant other, but at the end of the day they’re doing absolutely nothing to find someone. Isn’t it strange that meeting someone at a bar is considered more romantic than finding them online? In my opinion, users of dating apps are actually being proactive about finding someone. Online dating shouldn’t feel “artificial” because it is just an alternative way to meet people. Don’t complain if you aren’t trying!

4. Online Dating Takes Away The Nerves

best dating app

Call me crazy, but I get super nervous meeting people for the first time because you never know if you’re just going to be friends or something more. Eye contact is one of the first ways to tell if someone likes you, and that can be a tricky gesture to understand clearly. CMB helps you make that connection without the pressure. You have 24 hours to respond, and if you don’t like them or they don’t like you, it’s not a big deal at all. If you do like each other, you’re connected immediately and the ball is in your court from there. Once it’s settled that you both like each other, why wouldn’t you say hello?!

5. We’re Lazy & This Is Easy

best dating app

With CMB, you get one Bagel everyday. All you have to do is click LIKE or PASS. It takes less than 1 minute and literally could not be any easier. My roommates and I could spend all day on Tinder if we were bored enough- just sifting through guys like playing cards. But I don’t want to swipe all day, and I don’t have all day to spend on dating apps- I’m a busy bee. It takes 10 seconds to get a Bagel and decide whether or not you like them. It’s just another app connecting me with people and making my life easier.

Of course there is absolutely no bias here, but CMB really was the best app that I used as a single gal in SF. It took away my nerves and gave me a better understanding of how amazing online dating is.

Did you love this post? Check out this blog about an engaged couple that met on CMB!


Fill out my online form.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

App Store

dating stats, college dating

UMich tops The Most Attractive Alums List on Coffee Meets Bagel! (AND are apparently the pickiest too)

August 29, 2012/in Date Stats /by CMB

Statistics behind love is back! This time our Chief Data Scientist sifted through over 68,000 matches we made so far to answer the question: Does school matter when it comes to dating?
YES! After analyzing the LIKE or PASS choices of members from the 10 most represented schools on Coffee Meets Bagel, we realized the answer is Yes. A lot, actually, especially for University of Michigan & Stanford kids. They were 17% and 13% more likely to LIKE Bagels from their Alma Mater vs. non-Alma Mater Bagels. Ironically, they also turn out to be two of the most popular schools, being LIKED by others 42% & 41% of the time! I guess some things never change: Popular kids still prefer to hang out within their own groups!
Some other random details we found:

  • Male & Female? Preference towards their Alma Mater was consistently displayed by both male and female.
  • School with most popular Gents:  Yale gents who were LIKED 39%
  • School with most popular Ladies:  Univ. of Michigan followed by Stanford ladies. They were both LIKED close to 50% of the time!

Dating statistics
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

Coffee Meets Bagel, Best Dating App

 

Categories

  • Blog
  • Boston
  • Chicago
  • CMB 101
  • CMB Experiences
  • CMB Says
  • CMB Updates
  • Date Ideas
  • Date Stats
  • Date Stories
  • Date Tips
  • Dating for Men
  • Dating in LA
  • Dating in NYC
  • Dating in SF
  • DC
  • For Her
  • For Him
  • From the founders
  • Funny & Videos
  • Home
  • LA
  • LGBT Dating
  • list
  • moments
  • News
  • NYC
  • Product
  • SF
  • Stats
  • Stories
  • Tips
  • Tips on CMB
  • Uncategorized
  • Virtual dates

Get the app

Get the App for iOS
Get the App for Android
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Careers
  • Press
  • Help Center
  • Privacy & Terms

Join the app

Join the app on iOS
Join the app on Android
© Copyright - Coffee Meets Bagel - Enfold Theme by Kriesi
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Youtube
Scroll to top

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse the site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

OKLearn more

Cookie and Privacy Settings

How we use cookies

We may request cookies to be set on your device. We use cookies to let us know when you visit our websites, how you interact with us, to enrich your user experience, and to customize your relationship with our website. Click on the different category headings to find out more. You can also change some of your preferences. Note that blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience on our websites and the services we are able to offer.

Essential Website Cookies

These cookies are strictly necessary to provide you with services available through our website and to use some of its features. Because these cookies are strictly necessary to deliver the website, you cannot refuse them without impacting how our site functions. You can block or delete them by changing your browser settings and force blocking all cookies on this website.

Google Analytics Cookies

These cookies collect information that is used either in aggregate form to help us understand how our website is being used or how effective our marketing campaigns are, or to help us customize our website and application for you in order to enhance your experience. If you do not want that we track your visist to our site you can disable tracking in your browser here:

Other external services

We also use different external services like Google Webfonts, Google Maps and external Video providers. Since these providers may collect personal data like your IP address we allow you to block them here. Please be aware that this might heavily reduce the functionality and appearance of our site. Changes will take effect once you reload the page.

Google Webfont Settings:

Google Map Settings:

Vimeo and Youtube video embeds:

Privacy Policy

You can read about our cookies and privacy settings in detail on our Privacy Policy Page. privacy-policy