You are here: Home / best dating advice

Posts

lasting relationship

5 Ways To Sustain Your Relationship

/in , , /by

According to a research carried out on more than 5000 women by Menshealth.com and Glamour magazine, it was discovered that 26% of women broke up with their boyfriends over too many arguments and conflicts, 18% broke up because there is no chemistry in their relationships, 14% found a better guy, 11%  broke up because the men cheated, 11% broke up when the men would not commit, 9% broke up because the men weren’t a husband material, 3% broke up because of lousy sex.
The research showed that a lot of relationship are breaking up each and every day because of different reasons as can be seen above. In this article, we will be taking a look at how we can sustain our relationships and keep it from breaking up.  Below are some ways you can do that.
1.  Fall in love again
One of the main pillars that keep a relationship strong is love. When there is no love between two people in a dating relationship, breakup is imminent.  The question is, how can you keep the fire of love burning? You need to keep falling in love over and over again. Do the things that attracted you to each other at the beginning of the relationship. Do those things that your partner loves seeing you do and you will keep the fire burning.  The problem with ladies is that, once they are in a relationship with someone, they assumed there is no need to fight for the man’s love again.  That is a very wrong assumption, you need to keep doing what he wants to make him love and respect you the more.
2.  Confront your problems.
There is no relationship that is devoid of conflicts. This is because the two parties involved were raised by different parents, environment, ideology etc. Therefore, there is bound to be differing opinions about things when they come together.  You must learn to confront and solve all these problems and not overlook them.  For example, if you are in a relationship with a man who doesn’t deem it fit to clean his house and just leave everything scattered and you on the other came from a home where everything should be in their proper places.  There will be a problem in your relationship, you need to sit down and educate each other about it.  Another problem that can ensue is the issue of money, if you come from a family where money is not an issue and you get what you need without lifting a finger and you are in a relationship with a guy who does not have it all, you will need to come down to his level to make it work. Therefore,  confronting all the issues in your relationship will clear things up and give you a headway.
3.  Enhance each other’s live
Relationship has gone beyond selfish desires.  You must learn to look for ways you can add value to the life of your partner. What does he or she likes doing? How can you help her/him do it better without much stress? For example, while I was dating my husband, he discovered that I love to browse the internet and write.  He went ahead to buy Internet marketing magazines for me to get more knowledge about the stuff and turn it into a money making business. I started reading and getting ideas on how to start freelance writing online.  Since I love writing and browsing, it was easy for me to turn it into a money making venture and that is what I am doing today.  I still get to do what I love and make money from it.  I don’t see it as a job, but as a hobby and I am able to contribute to the family financially.  That is what I am talking about.  Look for ways to help your partner develop his/her passion and your relationship will grow stronger and stronger.
4.  Respect and Honesty
Being in a relationship with someone does not make you his/her subordinate. It is a mutual thing and you must respect each other’s values, opinions, way of life etc.  You can’t talk down on your partner simply because you are a man.  That is not a good way to show your manliness. Respect should be reciprocal, respect her and she will respect you.  Honesty is another value that you must uphold in your relationship.  Don’t cover up things that can be exposed later and cause problems.  Let your partner know who you are right from the beginning.  There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, no matter how long it takes.
5.  Care for the other person as much as yourself
Sometimes in a relationship, a partner may be too consumed about his/her need that he will forget to look after the other person.  For a relationship to triumph, you must care for one another. Look out for each other’s interest and guide it jealously.  Don’t be the only focus in the relationship, it takes two people to make a relationship work.
Are you ready to make your relationship work?  Then, follow the points highlighted above and your relationship will keep growing stronger and stronger.

Fill out my online form.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

App Store
Get it on Google Play

Online Dating Statistics

Ladies, How Well Do You Actually Know Men?

/in /by

A few weeks ago, we asked all you fine ladies to answer some questions about how you think men’s brains are working when it comes to dating, and the results are in! Take a look at what we found out; some of the results might even shock you. It turns out that guys are way more nervous about having something to talk about than what you look like on a first date, and a sense of humor is by far the most important quality in a partner to both men and women. Do you think you’re a dating pro? A man-mindreader? Check out what other ladies thought about these common first date signals below and see how you stack up against what the guys actually said, then let us know what you think!
reading dating signals
Curious as to what guys think of the signals you send them? Click here to see how well they really understand you.

Fill out my online form.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

App Store
Get it on Google Play

Don’t Give Up So Easily

/in , , /by

It takes time. Don’t expect that you’ll find your man/woman of your dreams on your very first connection.

I’m sure you have a close circle of friends you share your victories and defeats with, and I’m here to be just one more encouraging voice amidst your friends.

Dating is hard and its tough.

I know that reality and truth all too well. Regardless of whether you’re online dating or dating people you know in real life, its challenging. If you’re really putting yourself into it and putting yourself out there, then you’ll discover that online dating is no less painful than dating people you know in real life.

Maybe you have no problems getting dates.

Maybe those dates go well and don’t ever blow up in your face.

Maybe you’ve only been on good first dates, but have seldom moved on to a second date. Or maybe you’ve only been on dates that are nothing short of disastrous and are wondering if men even know how to date anymore. Maybe you wonder if women know how to identify a quality guy anymore.

You could be frustrated, you could be bitter, you could feel hopeless. You secretly fear that you’ll be the most amazing person who remained single either his/her entire life as you live amongst cats.

You may think that there’s nobody out there for you.

You may think that online dating sucks and you were actually happier not dating, not just people in real life, but not dating at all.

Don’t give up.

Don’t give up hope.

She is out there, somewhere.

He is out there, somewhere.

Because once you find that love, you won’t need to hope for it anymore.

If you quit, you can’t win.

If you keep going, you can’t lose.

Don’t throw in the towel. Just because you’re online dating doesn’t mean this somehow makes dating any easier in the long run. It makes it easier to get started, but the process itself is still rough. The process is still tough, still requires patience, and at the end of the day, process still doesn’t happen over night.

I haven’t been on a single terrible date through Coffee Meets Bagel. Every single girl was of a high caliber and quality. They were all intelligent, motivated, and driven. They were all women of high moral standards.

Don’t blame the app. At the end of the day, you still have to put in the work.

These were my feelings at various stages through using Coffee Meets Bagel. I don’t have those thoughts anymore, all because I kept going. I didn’t give up and I had faith.

I now have a good reason not to use Coffee Meets Bagel.
My story to be told later. =)

Fill out my online form.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

App Store
Get it on Google Play

8 Ways Dating Is Like Starting Your Own Business

/in , , /by

If you’ve ever attempted to freelance or start a small business, then you know that only one person is responsible for your successes and/or your failures – you. There are certain things that you need to do. You need to dress well – not that Armani suit, but you should be presentable. You should be able to converse on a variety of topics without appearing to have ADHD. You should also be yourself.

1) You need to be a bit shameless about self promotion.
Put yourself out there. You can’t get a date if you don’t talk to people. Don’t count of referrals or your friends to introduce you to amazing people. I’m not saying to throw yourself in front of every pair of legs or every handsome face, but at least make an effort. To make a solid effort you’ll need to…

2) Distance yourself from the pack.
Separate yourself from the rest of the general population. Why are you the best things since sliced bread? Why are you different than the guy that’s been trying to hit on every girl that walks up to the bar? You’ll need to put your uniqueness on display a little bit. If you’re good with your words, use them. If you can make non-creeper eye contact, do that.

3) Marketing
Do you have skills? What are your interests? Have more going on for you than good looks, spartan abs, and a salary. Sure, sparks can fly early on, but I’m pretty sure you can’t sustain that kind of emotional intensity in the long run. Have intangibles that let the other person you’re seeing see that there’s long-term potential here. Speaking of long term…

4) Have vision.
You need a business plan. You need a mission statement and this ties into legacy. You need purpose. You can date for the hell of it, or you can be in it to win it. I’m not suggesting you propose to her after three dates and I’m not suggesting you talk to him about baby names after four or five dates. I’m saying this mostly so that you can crystalize for yourself what your motivations are for dating. Be prepared, because…

5) You will be rejected often, get used to it.
You may be awesome, but it won’t stop people from not giving you an opportunity for you to put your awesomeness on display. That’s their problem, not yours. Be secure in who you are and what you have to offer. Know that they who just outright rejected you never gave you a chance and have missed out. So what if no one has clicked ‘Like’ for you in a month? You wouldn’t be moping around because some company won’t grant you an interview, right? You just move on to the next one. And…

6) You will fail often, get used to it.
You will get opportunities. It looks good at the beginning. The two of you click, finish each other’s sentences, and share many common interests and activities. Things couldn’t be going any better for the both of you. But over time, things start to dip and the happiness you used to share is no longer happiness. It could even happen suddenly. Things are going swimmingly and in a moments notice it all comes crashing down like the floor beneath your feet. What happened? You never saw the breakup coming. You were blindsided. It happens to the best of us. No one ever went very far in life in any pursuit without failing. It’s about bouncing back and recovering from the experience. Instead of sulking in misery over your failure, just know that…

7) You won’t be wildly successful right away.
Much like #5 and #6, the first person you go out with is probably not going to be the one you attach yourself to and walk down the aisle with. It will take time, not months, but years. If you’re in it to win it, it means you’re willing to accept the wait. Great friendships don’t happen overnight and neither do great romantic relationships that lead to marriage. If you’re doing dating and online dating right, it’s really hard work to get there and you need to keep doing the hard work to stay there. Every so often you need to step back and conduct a…

8) Performance Review.
I’m not suggesting you audio record your dates and analyze the audio and wear a lapel cam so you can analyze her body language with what you say to her, but you need to objectively evaluate how you’re doing with the various types of women you’re going out with. Do you notice trends? Is there a pattern with the kind of women you’re going out with and is the outcome of all those dates unbelievably predictable? Be in the moment and be aware of what he/she does in response to what you say and do. Be objective and not overly critical of yourself! The right person will like you for you!

Fill out my online form.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

App Store
Get it on Google Play

9 romantic movies

9 romantic movies that remind us of past relationships

/in /by

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Alina Polishuk

When watching any movie involving romance, it’s easy to scoff into your popcorn and say something along the lines of, “Puh-lease. That relationship is so unrealistic!”
While this may be true of most fantasy inducing scenes and happy-ending tales of love, some on-screen romances that seem absurd at first glance actually prove themselves to be relatable upon some… “deeper analysis.”

Young Love

Ah yes, your eyes first met across the desks of Mrs. Jefferson’s 4th grade classroom. By recess you had decided you would hold hands, and by lunch you were boyfriend and girlfriend. Suzy and Sam’s relationship in Moonrise Kingdom might be a little bit more complex than your first romantic encounter, but their charming naivety and steadfast dedication to each other is certainly reminiscent of your adorable puppy love.

Unrequited Love

“Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl does not.” So goes the tale of unrequited love: the relationship that will simply never be because feelings are simply not mutual. No modern account of love mirrors this sad situation more perfectly than 500 Days of Summer, a sweet flick that looks like a rom-com but is actually a horror story.

The Love that was Always There

A list involving romantic movies wouldn’t really be complete without the Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan classic, When Harry Met Sally. You know that girl that you always viewed as just a friend? The girl that you could talk to about your exes, and watch Game of Thrones with, without it getting weird during the R-rated scenes? Well, maybe one day, you guys just looked at each other and realized that your long-lasting friendship should be more than just that.

Passionate Love

You and this past partner were polar opposites and maybe even despised each other… Until you realized that opposites attract. No movie encapsulates this highly emotional strand of love better than the Woody Allen classic, Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Two-thirds of a threesome, the temperaments of artists Maria Elena and Juan Antonio go together like water and oil, but amidst the turmoil lies a magnetic kind of passion. While this is perhaps not the longest-lasting relationship, chances are all of the “feels” you had for it’s duration it took up more than a few pages in your diary.

Friends with Benefits Love

Ah yes, the friends with benefits kind of love. You were always been super chill with this person, be it hanging out and watching movies together or getting beer drunk with your friend group down at O’Malleys.  Until one night you had a pint too many and ended up in bed together. Instead of making it awkward, you two decided to roll with it. This person is fun, unattached, and also kinda cute. And that is why it’s love.

Long Distance Love

This one is hard, and many people would rather sacrifice a relationship than go through a long distance romance. But to those of you who have chosen to test love’s international boundaries, you can probably relate to the heart-wrenching trials that quirky Jacob and adorable Anna have to endure in the indie-flick, Like Crazy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBCTEeEv1gc

Digital Love

Maybe you met this person online, or maybe you’re just too shy to talk to her in person. But regardless, your romance takes place mostly through the Facebook, Snapchat, or text. It’s hard for this relationship to feel sustainable, when the object of your affection is far or maybe unattainable in real life. While we are a far cry from dating our computers, Her, which follows Theodore as he falls madly in love with his quick-witted personal operating system, Samantha, reminds us that love doesn’t always have to be tangible.

Forbidden Love

There are probably hundreds of movies out there about forbidden love (from Twilight, to Avatar, to Pocahontas), but there is no tale more classic than Romeo+Juliet.  Baz Luhrmann’s colorful 1996 Shakespeare adaptation starring youngsters Leo DiCaprio and Claire Danes will tear your heart out, and make you reminisce about the time you dated a boy from the rival high school. Relatively comparable stories, right?

Unexpected Love

This guy was supposed to be your rebound, supposed to be your filler date, or supposed to be… the subject of an article you were writing? Regardless of what the original situation was, you fell for this person when you really didn’t expect it. In the chick-flick classic, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Andie and Ben each had an agenda when beginning the relationship, but their eventual feeling for each other are, of course, a pleasant surprise.

True Love

We’ve all been through the relationship ringer at some point or other. Perhaps it’s infidelity, perhaps it’s an identity crisis, or perhaps it’s just realizing your partner isn’t actually “the one.” But this true love came in and swept you off your feet, right when you decided you had given up on relationships forever. This person loves you “just as you are” (*swoon*), the way Mark Darcy loves Bridget in the relatable classic, Bridget Jones’ Diary.

Enjoy this post? Then you’ll love reading about the 9 stages of falling in love!
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.
 App Store

/in /by

When you’re on the fence about your Bagel, be open-minded and give it a shot! You never know, he/she might be extraordinary and attractive when you meet in person ;)

Calling Back-Phobia

/in , /by

Here is what I saw at Cindy Sherman’s Exhibit at MoMA over the weekend…It hit me hard.
cindy sherman
The woman who is sadly gazing at the phone is actually Cindy Sherman herself, which made this piece more powerful and I think easier for the audience to relate to. She used herself as a medium in connecting with the audience to share her vision and feelings.
Looking at this photograph  I felt the sadness, disappointment and pure ache she was feeling as she waited for her man to call.
Having a moment in MoMA, I absolutely felt and understood this woman.
How many times have you wondered- “why is he not calling back?”
Does falling asleep with your cellphone next to your pillow so you won’t miss a call, and waking up to nothing sound all too familiar to you?
This could happen after a night out at the bar, after a first date or even after many dates- but the ‘no call back’ happens way too frequently.
Christian Carter laid it down for us on Shape.com why guys don’t call back, and the reasons are quite obvious but spot on. Here are the reasons Carter gives for why men don’t call back:
1. They have trouble being honest and being vulnerable
2. If they are looking for a fling rather than something serious
3. They were just being polite earlier
4. They lost interest in you
5. They lost your number- or simply forgot to call
These scenarios arise mostly after couple of casual dates when everything about the relationship is up in the air. The question and problem here are how the women deal with these scenarios- after the guy doesn’t call for awhile. The idealistic way to put an end to this while still being sane is for the woman to keep her cool and to move on. However generally that’s not case.  Rather than saying, “Forget it!” she will probably be vent over a tub of ice cream or continue to hold on to the phone while waiting for his call.
It made me wonder why women still feel like men leave them in the dark when these reasons are quite self explanatory. I truly believe its the fear of rejection that causes drama when the man doesn’t call back. All of the hidden insecurities creep up and hurts the woman’s ego and make her question, “What did I do wrong?” when really he didn’t call because of reason #1, 2, or 5- reasons she had no control over.
Women have to understand how men’s minds work and not take simple gestures too seriously. If he doesn’t call back there’s nothing to read into. He is not interested in you up to the point you would like him to. So either give him the time and space for him to grow to like you, or move on.
The universal question is though, do men suffer as much as women do when they don’t get a call they are expecting? I’ve seen men be upset for couple of days if his date falls through, but haven’t seen a man sulk over a tub of ice cream while staring at the phone hoping for it to light up.
Are men simply insensitive and more ready to go back into the dating scene immediately? Or do women get emotionally invested too soon?

/in /by


how men should dress and where to take women on dates.
clean+crisp+warm accessories
combined with savory+sweet desserts

When is a GOODbye…GOOD?

/in , /by

Ugly Betty may not be the best girl to go to for dating advice but, she got me thinking the other day.
Here’s what triggered my thoughts…
“I’ve had to say goodbye more times than I’ve liked, but everyone can say that. And no matter how many times we do it, even when it’s for the greater good, it still stings. And though we’ll never forget what we’ve given up, we owe it to ourselves to keep moving forward. What we can’t do is live our lives always afraid of the next goodbye, because chances are they’re not going to stop. The trick is to recognize when a goodbye can be a good thing; when it’s a chance to start again.” –Ugly Betty
I’m a believer of “LOVE CONQUERS ALL” and Betty Suarez here is saying we sometimes have to let our loved one go for the “greater good’? I agree there are certain situations that can be difficult in keeping a relationship- long distance in many cases or friends and family’s disapproval (I’m throwing possible situations out there). However, no matter how difficult the situation is, if the two love each other and have the patience and strength to fight through, there is no need to part ways. I say “recognizing when a goodbye can be a good thing” is an excuse and is a way of giving up on the relationship.
Why can’t people love hard even if it entails heartaches and fighting through challenging times?
What do you think? Is this a cowardly excuse to get a chance to start anew OR is there really a GOOD goodbye?

 

It takes 2 to make it work

/in , , /by

It takes two to make a relationship work.
A simple text saying…
‘Hey, hope you have a good day’- in the morning,
‘Hang in there :)” – when you know your love is having a tough day.
Of course there are times when it’s hard to text or call.
Say you’re driving..getting grilled by your boss…or at a overcrowded place….
But how about when you’re done with the day and are getting ready for bed. Is it that hard to make a short phone call?
If you’re not willing to invest 30 seconds of your time to pick up the phone because you’re “TIRED”? you’re not ready to be in a relationship because that’s nothing but an excuse.
Driven and passionate about work, yet uncommitted  to love-that’s a problem.
Both should be equally treated with respect and attention.
For both men and women-
We’re not saying you to call or text WHILE your working, but to give the other person a heads up that you’re tied up and will call later when you get a chance, or to explain your situation why you couldn’t call in advance.
Isn’t that just simple courtesy?
Love takes work.
It requires you to be considerate and you always have to remind yourself to keep your manners to those who are closer to you- do not take advantage or their love for you.
Don’t expect your lover to always understand you first.
It can’t be a one way thing…
It has to be mutual and BOTH parties have to work together to make a relationship truly work.