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International Love: Dating Around the World

August 4, 2015/in Date Stats, Dating in NYC, Dating in SF /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Adrienne Shih

Ever wonder what dating is like in another part of the world? We asked global CMBers about different aspects of their love lives, with everything from their eligibility to how much they’re willing to pay on the first date. Responses varied across the board, but there’s one thing most CMBers can agree with — dating, regardless of where you live, is difficult. But don’t worry, that’s where we can help.
Take a look at what members said, from where the most eligible singles are to what characteristics they value most in a match.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

Download_on_the_App_Store_Badge_US-UK_135x40 google

 

4 Ways to Strike Up a Conversation with Your Dream Date (and Keep Them Captivated)…

June 22, 2015/in Uncategorized /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Adrienne Shih

Men and women alike often share a common fear of approaching and talking to someone attractive.  This can be gruesome because you don’t know how the other person is going to react. Let’s face it: there’s the nervousness involved in being completely vulnerable when walking up to someone you’ve never met before.  The next challenge (if you happen to succeed in talking to your dream date) is keeping them captivated by you and your personality.

  1. Opinion Opener

If you happen to be out shopping or at the grocery store, and you see a very attractive man or woman, you can ask him or her something like this: “Hey, can I get your opinion real quick? I’m shopping for a gift for my sister’s birthday and I want a girl’s opinion on this.” You can basically tailor this approach to any situation you’re in.  (Click here to see a gorgeous 55-year old woman use an opinion opener on an unsuspecting guy! )

  1. Accidental Run-In

Want to know one of the ingredients of a successful meeting between two individuals?  Serendipity.  If you two happen to meet by happy chance, the thrill of being together and linking up will feel and be “meant-to-be”.   An excellent way to create a feeling of serendipity is by “accidentally” bumping into McDreamy at the grocery store.  When he starts to apologize, you can say, “I’m so sorry. I’m so clumsy! Just last week I bumped into Shaq and he fell and caused a small earthquake.”  From there, he should understand that you are messing around and will start playing along with you (if he’s any fun).

  1. Have Them At ‘Hello’

Initiating conversation can be as simple as “Hello.”  This approach is extremely effective for women as most men will be shocked that a female is randomly talking to them.  The key to this direct approach is to make sure your body language is open (no crossed arms), you’re looking him in the eye, smiling, and after you say “Hi,” or “Hey,” you follow it up with a Tease.
For example: “Hey, I just came over here to talk about my feelings.” The key is to share a laugh to build that magical feeling of ‘serendipity’ I talked about above.

  1. Let Them Hang. On. Your. Every. Word.

I’m sure you’ve seen actors, politicians, and eloquent people who have that special something (think President Obama, Jordan Belfort, Angelina Jolie). Something that makes people drop everything and want to listen when they talk—literally captivating their target audience. They have one thing in common: Value velocity. Value velocity is the use of short, impactful sound bites to build attraction.  I usually tell my students to speak for 3 seconds at a time (but no more than 10 seconds). Why 3 seconds? To build suspense and, most of all, to build attraction.  Value velocity will stimulate emotions and be more effective than speaking for minutes at a time.  (Watch this video and see how to incorporate it into conversation) 
TIP: Practice makes perfect!
The only way you are going to get better at talking to men and women is to go out and try it! My challenge for you is to try one of these and make a note of your results. In order to improve, you need to record your successes and learn what you can improve on.
Feel free to tell me your results below and I will personally give you pointers!

How Do You Know If He Only Wants to Hookup?

June 22, 2015/in Date Tips, For Her, For Him, Uncategorized /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Adrienne Shih

Sometimes men will do anything to get women to hookup with them, but there are several dead giveaways that many men will use. I might have, dare I say, even used all the common material in the books to get women to hook up in the past.  So, why am I sharing this information with you? Well, I pledged to help women with their dating lives and give them the opportunity to meet Mr. Right and know when to spot a Mr. Wrong.
So, how can you tell if a guy only wants to hook up?

  1. He only texts or calls you at night.

Unless he is nocturnal and sleeps during the day in preparation for his job at night, there is no excuse for him to text you after 10 p.m. unless its for a booty call.  As a pickup artist, I’ve seen guys who only text girls at 2 a.m. on the weekend because the chances of him getting in touch with a drunk and horny girl were greater.

  1. The Conversation takes a sexual turn

If you happen to be talking to a guy and the conversation always turns sexual very fast, know that he only wants to hook up with you.  In a pickup, a surefire way to turn things sexual is through sexual innuendo (think suggestive puns and double entendres). Not only will you avoid the dreaded  friend zone, but you will also get the other person thinking about sex.

  1. He’s on Tinder

We all know it: Tinder has become an infamous app used mainly for locating late-night hookups. I mean, if that’s your thing, go for it…but the chances of you meeting a nice guy to settle down with are extremely zero to none.  In my life, I’ve only heard of one female friend who has met her boyfriend via Tinder. But let me tell you this: she is definitely the exception, not the rule.  The rule is simple: Men on Tinder are primarily looking to get laid.  Don’t think that you can change a Rico Suave into a man who is boyfriend material.  If you yourself are on Tinder, know exactly what you signed up for, and just have fun with it.
How else do you know if guys only want to hookup?  Share with me in the “comments” section below.

The Mortifying Reason I Called My Boyfriend ‘Hey Dude’ the First Month We Were Dating

November 21, 2014/in Date Stories /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Alexa Hampton

One of my most memorable adventures in love was with my boyfriend, who (to my great shame) I almost broke up with a month after we started dating because I didn’t know his name.
Yeah, you read that right.
During that month, I lived in perpetual fear that I would be put in a situation where I couldn’t address him as “hey dude.”
What if we accidentally end up at a karaoke bar, and they pull me on stage and ask who I’m here with? I panicked. I could just see an obnoxious, washed up announcer saying, “Who! Give us a name!” as my cheeks flush bright red.
Or worse, what if there is some kind of medical emergency and I can’t identify my own date? A man who has already introduced me to all his friends and was more interested in seeing me than them (no offense, guys) on his 24th birthday?
The horror…

Anyone who has spent time at a bar knows most men within these establishments are not “real” people. They are there to find girls, and if you are not interested in being one of them, you must be almost insufferably rude — sometimes cutting them off mid-sentence with a “no thanks”  — in order to make your point.
It was with that mentality that I went into what seemed to be any other night out, though it ended up being the night I met my boyfriend.
It was late September in the city, and we were at a trendy rooftop bar in Midtown. It was one of the last weekends we could all be outside, and I was pleasantly surprised when I found myself speaking with a well-dressed young man emitting zero sketchy vibes.
As the conversation progressed, I discovered that not only was he from my home state of Minnesota, he went to my rival high school. And I knew he wasn’t lying because he said where he was from before I did.
We stayed out late and I ended up putting his name in my phone as “Minnesota guy.” When he started texting me later that week, I tried in vain to recall his name, cursing myself for paying more attention to whether people have kind or crazy eyes when they introduce themselves than the words coming out of their mouths (Minnesota guy had extremely kind eyes, by the way).
“Hi! Who is this?” I texted back, pretending I had mis-entered his number into my phone.
“We met on Saturday at Sutton Place,” he responded. “Want to grab a drink this weekend?”
Fail.

I put “Minnesota guy” off for another week or so, but when he invited me to his birthday party, I figured there was no harm in stopping by. I warned him that I wouldn’t be able to get there until after 10:00 p.m., since I had a work thing, but he didn’t seem to mind. Nevertheless, I assumed he would be wasted by the time I got there.
I was a little surprised when his friends all seemed to know who I was, and that my reticent date ended up being way more handsome than I remembered. I was equally surprised that he stuck by my side the whole party — I figured I would be one of many random people there — and that when I decided to leave, he hailed a cab and escorted me home. He had had a few drinks, but was still completely coherent.
We said goodnight in the lobby, and as I walked up to my apartment, the events of the night replayed themselves in my head.
He’s actually quite cute, I thought. Why didn’t I notice that before? I was also absurdly flattered that I seemed to be the only girl he had eyes for.
As the weeks passed, we began seeing each other every weekend. Minnesota guy impressed me more each time I saw him. When I got us hopelessly lost trying to find a bar I’d been to once and really liked, he made zero snide comments and gave me zero judgmental looks, despite spending probably $50 in cabs. Instead, he laughed and suggested we try a place nearby, and the whole time we were talking like old friends.
A little over a month later — when I realized I genuinely liked him — I had a minor panic attack over the fact that I still did not know his name. I knew I couldn’t continue the “hey dude” charade much longer; it was only a matter of time before my secret shame was revealed.

I called my mom and told her the whole situation, and she encouraged me not to give up.
“What if you bring one of your friends the next time you go out, and they ask his name?” she suggested.
“Too risky,” I grimaced. “And also, that’d just look bad at this point, since all his friends knew my name a month ago.”
Eventually my mom convinced me to stick it out. He seemed like a wonderful man, and you can’t throw something like that away for the sake of avoiding embarrassment, she said.
Thankfully, my big break came the next day.
We were going to a bar neither of us had been to and, as we were handing over our IDs, Minnesota guy made a comment about how he had just gotten his license renewed.
“Really!” I said, feigning extreme interest. “Let’s see your new picture!”
I snatched his license before he could put it away, and there it read: “Mark Emerson.”
Yessssssss! I could hardly repress my excitement.

I had tried everything to uncover his name. I spent more hours on Facebook than I have since high school, but try as I might, I could not find him. I asked my brother-in-law, who went to his high school, if he remembered anyone who matched the description: kind eyes, light brown hair, lives in NYC now and is a year younger than you?
I got a few options, but none showed a match on Facebook and I wasn’t comfortable throwing out, “Thanks, Kevin!” this late in the game to see if it was a match. If someone said, “Thanks, Rachel!” to me after a month, I would probably never speak to them again.
I had been uncertain about the subject for so long, I almost didn’t feel comfortable saying his real name, though I assumed it was right — it was on his license, after all.
“So, Mark…” I ventured. “Have you traveled at all?”
He responded without seeming puzzled. Score. Plus, I found out he’s also a big traveler. Score and a half, really.
It’s been over two years now since the events I’ve related, and I’m still more impressed with Mark every time I see him. When I told him about a year in that I originally didn’t know his name, he smiled and told me he kinda knew.
“Are you serious?” I asked. “What gave me away?”
“Well,” he responded. “You called me ‘dude’ a lot…”


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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