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fireworks, independence day, fourth of july, july 4, declaration of independence

Living Independence Day: 5 Tips to Stay Independent in Relationships

June 30, 2014/in Date Tips /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Travis Noddings

While fireworks are exploding over our heads this July 4th in celebration of The United States of America’s glorious adoption of the Declaration of Independence, I’d like to remind everyone out there to rejoice in their own hard-earned independence.
Whether you’re entering a new relationship, strengthening an ongoing one, or just looking towards the future, it can be easy to let the freedom you experienced in your single life slip away once you couple-up.

You don’t always realize how much you’ve given up, but the good news is that it’s never too late to assert yourself and reclaim your title as an extraordinary, strong, independent individual! Can I get an ”Amen”?

Here are five tips to help you keep your independence while maintaining a healthy relationship:

1. Have your own space

personal space, personal bubble, independence, dating, relationships
Being together doesn’t mean you have to give up being alone. For couples that live together, creating a space that is all your own is an absolute must. No matter how much you love your partner, spending most of your time in someone else’ company can quickly become draining. Everyone needs a safe retreat to cool down, think, decompress, and  be by themselves. Never be afraid to take a breather in a study, guest room, or just your own little spot in the city.

For most of the year my boyfriend and I live on opposite sides of the country, so alone time isn’t hard to come by. However, when we are staying together it’s usually in a tiny studio apartment that forces us into each other’s personal space. To stay sane, we take a few hours every weekend to sit separately (me on the couch, him at his desk) and work on our own projects or just generally goof off apart from one another. For a physical reprieve, consider walking down to a local café or visiting a book store for a bit. No one is likely to bother you in your own little reading nook, and you’ll feel a lot more refreshed when you return home.

2. Keep your own hobbies & interests

kayaking, white water rapids, hobbies, interests, personal time, independence day, independence
Just as important as having your own space, keeping certain activities for yourself (or with an outside group of friends) will help you stay connected with your passions and continue  maturing independent of your partner. They are a great way to meet new friends, maintain an interesting and unique life outside of your relationship, and develop an emotional outlet for your frustrations and anxieties. You don’t have to plunge yourself into white water rafting, but perhaps drawing, yoga, kickboxing, blogging, or volunteering might offer you an escape. Bring back one of your long forgotten childhood hobbies and take it to the next level; you’ll be surprised by how much you didn’t know you missed it.

It’s okay to go to events, like concerts or seminars, without your partner (I am personally going to bow down to Beyoncé solo this August). Don’t be afraid to take extended trips apart, either. Whether it’s visiting family or taking a long-awaited road trip with your friends, you’ll both be happy for the detached downtime.

3. Stand your ground

rosie riveter, equality, feminism, women, stand your ground, independence day, independence
Relationships demand compromise, but you are always in control of your own priorities. Don’t reorganize your life to meet “shared values” if you don’t truly believe in them yourself, or if they neglect your interests. Decide which things you aren’t willing to compromise on, but be prepared to cede less important ones if you want to keep a happy, healthy relationship. If your partner tries to sway you into giving up your personal time, or asks you to take on a chore that you despise, remind them that you need to focus on the things that are important to you and that you’ll trade responsibilities if need be. I always stop to ask myself “Is this something I want? Would I mind doing it for him here and there? How can I help him understand my perspective?” Thinking aloud to your partner doesn’t hurt, either.

Live life like House of Cards’ Frank and Claire Underwood—working together, but never giving up your own agenda.

4. Speak openly when you disagree

mouth, speaking up, speaking openly, independence day, independence
You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to get mad, vent, and voice all of your displeasures. The healthiest thing a couple can do is maintain an open, unconditional, non-judgmental dialogue. Speaking up is the only way you can ensure your independence while simultaneously working with your partner to improve your relationship. Make your opinion heard, and demand it be respected. It’s okay to bide your tongue for the little things, but don’t hold your voice down for too long—it’s the little things you keep letting go that insidiously become overwhelming.

If you aren’t getting through to them in the moment, reopen discussion when you’re both in a good mood (I strike during dinner, food always softens the blow). Alternatively, write your frustrations down in a note and leave it for them to find while you’re not around (if they get home before you during the week, in their backpack/briefcase, coat pocket etc). This will help you articulate your thoughts better and give them time to take in your argument without immediately reacting. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to mix in some sweet, appreciative notes after that one so they don’t live in fear of reaching into their pockets.

5. Celebrate yourself

celebrate yourself, treat yourself, love yourself, independence day, independenceAs Tom and Donna say on Parks and Recreation, “Treat. Yo. Self.” You were an epic, independent, unique individual before you started a relationship, and you’re only getting better with time. Don’t be afraid to pat yourself on the back, replay your greatest achievements, and push full-steam ahead on self-celebration. Never shrink yourself. Never let a partner’s doubts cloud your judgement. Make a list of your short and long term goals, and revisit them when you feel like you might be losing your direction. Keep your eyes trained on your hopes and dreams, and promise yourself that you will keep working towards them no matter what changes in your life.

Put yourself first.

Happy Independence Day!

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Did you enjoy this post? Then make sure to check out Confessions from 7,200 Singles: 10 Sex Secrets Revealed.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB):  CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

Coffee Meets Bagel, Best Dating App

 

3 Ways to Celebrate 4th of July in LA

July 4, 2013/in LA /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Bronson Farr

Hey Bagels!

So far we’ve covered where to watch fireworks shows in San Francisco, DC, Chicago, NYC, and Boston. The “City of Angels” is our last stop on our list of Independence Day Celebrations. There are plenty of ways to celebrate 4th of July in LA, A LOT in fact. So we have picked 3 events where you can watch fireworks light up the night sky in SoCal.

If you’re on a budget: 4th of July Block Party @ Grand Park

This free Independence Day celebration at Grand Park in LA is fun for everyone. This party is four blocks long with live music and performances as well as food trucks like Holy Aioli and The Greasy Weiner. Although there won’t be a fireworks spectacular, there will be a light show combining pyrotechnics and special effects.

Although there won’t be fireworks at this year’s block party, there will be a light show incorporating pyrotechnics.

WHAT: 4th of July Block Party

WHERE: Grand Park in LA

WHEN: Thur., July 4th, activities start @ 2pm

 

Ok, but where are the real fireworks at? Huntington Beach 4th of July Celebration

If you’re looking for a show that will light up the night sky by the ocean, then Huntington Beach is the place to be. With free events running from July 4-7 it’s hard to not be a part of the celebration. There is also  $10 VIP seating for the fireworks show on July 4.

You can watch fireworks being launched from the pier at this year’s Huntington Beach Independence Day celebration.

WHAT: “Surf, Sun, & Celebrate” (Huntington Beach July 4th Celebration)

WHERE: Huntington Beach Pier

WHEN: July 4-7, Fireworks @ 9pm on July 4th

 

So you want to impress that special Bagel… Redondo Beach 4th of July Fireworks

The annual Redondo Beach fireworks show is a special day event that takes place at Seaside Lagoon. While you do have to pay to get in, you do get front row seats for the fireworks show. There will be live performances as well as free paddle boarding.

Attendees at the Redondo Beach 4th of July celebration with get front row seats to a spectacular show.

WHAT: 7th Annual Redondo Beach Fireworks

WHERE: Seaside Lagoon

WHEN: Thur., July 4th; Gates open @ 2pm

4 Spots to Watch the Fireworks for 4th of July in San Francisco

July 1, 2013/in SF /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Bronson Farr

Hey  CMBers!
Watching the fireworks over the bay is an exciting event for 4th of July in San Francisco each year. While Fisherman’s Wharf is where the big celebration is going to be at, we have also picked out some spots in the city where it isn’t as crowded and still enjoy the show.
1) Front Row Seats: Fisherman’s Wharf
Fisherman’s Wharf is where to get the front row seats for the firework spectacular over the water. The Fourth of July Celebration Pier also features two live bands in the afternoon if you want to make it an all day event.

4th of July in San Francisco

The best place to watch fireworks in San Francisco is Fisherman’s Wharf.

WHAT: Fourth of July Celebration At the Pier
WHERE: Fisherman’s Wharf (Pier 39)
WHEN: Thur., July 4th; Live band performances from 12-2pm & 4-7pm, Fireworks show @ 9:30pm

2) Most Intimate: Bernal Heights Hill 
If you want to show your date want a great view of the fireworks this Independence Day, and also want some intimacy, look no further than Bernal Hill. The view isn’t like that of Twin Peaks, but it is definitely one of the best views that overlooks the City.

4th of July in San Francisco

A great view of San Francisco from Bernal Heights Hill

3) Most Outdoorsy: Land’s End Trail (From Legion of Honor to Sea Cliff)
Land’s End Trail offers great views of the ocean and San Francisco Bay, but if you want to watch the fireworks check out the section of the trail that goes from the Legion of Honor to Sea Cliff. Not only does this portion face the Golden Gate Bridge (where the show will take place), it also gives you a nice view of the Bay Area. The trail is also surrounded by trees, giving it “the great outdoors” feel.

4th of July in San Francisco

While the Legion of Honor is a sight to see in itself…

4th of July in San Francisco

…the view is even more amazing.

4) Least Crowded: Alta Plaza Park
Facing the bay, this park directly overlooks San Francisco’s Marina district. This spot is far enough from the crowds at Fisherman’s Wharf, but still close enough to get a great view of the show. Be sure to arrive early as it is close to downtown as well as a residential area.

4th of July in San Francisco

Alta Plaza Park overlooks the Marina district out onto the bay.

‘Murica 101: Awesome 4th of July Activities

June 28, 2013/in Date Ideas /by Guest Blogger

The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Bronson Farr

Hey Bagels,

America’s birthday is right around the corner, and with all of the hustle and bustle leading up to Independence Day it may be hard to plan that summer party you’ve always wanted to do. Well never fear, Coffee Meets Bagel is here! We have some 4th of July activities that will hopefully give you some inspiration. So sit back, relax, and fly the American flag gloriously outside your home.

Theme Party– Do a Red, White, and Blue party where your guests come dressed in patriotic colors or have the food colored red, white and blue if you’re feeling adventurous. You could also do a dance party with your guests (just make sure the neighbors are ok with it first).

4th of July party ideas

Red, white, and blue are always some classic summer colors

 

Chicken, Ribs, or Steak?– Food is always a must when it comes to parties. Sliders, chicken wings and other finger foods work best for a large party. But if you are having a gathering on a smaller scale try to prepare a meal; throw some steaks on the grill or pick up a pot roast from the market. Also, try to prepare (not cook) some the food the night before so that you aren’t stressing the day of. Here are some tantalizing examples:

4th of July Party Ideas

Ribs are always a great for a Independence Day meal. Check out this easy recipe by Mmm…is for Mommy.

4th of July Party Ideas

Fried macaroni & cheese balls courtesy of Kirbie’s Cravings. While they are a crowd favorite, this dish does need more prep time than others.

4th of July Party Ideas

A red, white, and blue trifle is a popular 4th of July dessert. Here’s an easy recipe from My Blessed Life.

 

B.Y.O.B?– Normally you and your buddies would head to the nearest grocery store to pick up a 30 rack of Bud or Coors Light, but not on this day. On this day America gained its freedom from England, and with that freedom some of the best craft beers were created by local breweries. So splurge a little!

4th of July Party Ideas

Craft beers are available in a town near you!

 

Fireworks– If you are planning to lighting your own fireworks check to see if your town allows them within its limits. Make sure you have a garden hose, or a bucket of water, on hand if something does go wrong. We also urge you to drink responsibly if you are consuming alcohol and lighting. Planning to go watch fireworks in a public area? Check out these spots!

4th of July Party Ideas

Remember, only “Safe and Sane” fireworks are allowed in cities that can sell fireworks.

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