~ The Feels Bagel ~
This is the story of a bagel who needs to make like Elsa and just let it go. (It’s fitting, I promise, but I also did just want to use this gif).
Let me rewind and say that I connected with Feels Bagel on a whim because he looked like a nice guy, wasn’t younger than I was (which has been a recent problem), and was a programmer. We chatted for a bit about how we both had to work during the Super Bowl to make sure our campaigns ran correctly, then decided to meet up for a post-game dinner.
He was really nice, seemed a little too enthusiastic, which made me think he was slightly left of straight, but we discussed our jobs, our families, the normal stuff. Then out of the blue, he said, “So my last relationship was May 2011,” and proceeded to tell me all about it. Over the next 15 minutes, I fought his fights and I cried his tears. After feeling emotionally drained from the Sparknotes of his last relationship, I was asked the following question: “When was your last relationship?” Before I could respond with an answer, my sarcasm got the best of me. “Sorry, I forgot to circle the date of my last break up on my mental calendar.” Woops.
Quickly trying to recover, I bit my tongue and used more brain cells trying to muster an accurate date than I had used all day. I told him a ballpark guesstimate of a year and he then asked what went wrong. Is it just me, or is this conversation getting a little heavy for someone I met 30 minutes ago? I literally met him an episode of How I Met Your Mother ago, and he’s asking me Mosby questions. Doing my best to dodge this inquisition, he wound up telling me about what happened in all of his past relationships and what he’s been doing since then.
When I finally thought I was free, I get this: “How many times have you said ‘I love you’?” Dude…are you for real? I once again gave him a general number, feeling incredibly uncomfortable as a girl who does not like to feel the feels, let alone talk about the feels. I deflect in the only way I know best, and he leaps in and tells me about how he’s only said the “L word” to one girl who happened to never be his girlfriend. Once again, he told me all the details of this fleeting relationship and I didn’t really know what to say, so I smiled and nodded and kept on eating.
I’m sure there’s someone out there who can love Feels Bagel, wipe away his tears, and big-spoon him into comfort. I, however, am not that person.
Read more about my other Bagel Adventures!!
If you enjoyed this post, perhaps you’ll want to read SCSB’s Island of Lost Bagels.
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.