Most guys have bad dating profiles. This one of the top complaints I hear from women when it comes to online dating. Taking the time to write a good profile will help you increase your odds of getting a match who is right for you, and having a great first date.
A good profile is the backbone of your personality. It shows who you are and what you stand for. Don’t be afraid to communicate what you want, and what you don’t want.
Today I’m going to walk you through a step-by-step guide on how to write a great dating profile that gets you the right connection.
A well written profile can save you a lot of time from dealing with lukewarm connections, bad dates, and awkward conversation. If you are finding that a lot of your matches are hit or miss, taking the time to help qualify yourself and your matches will lead to a better outcome.
Also, be sure to read all the way through for a free checklist on how to make sure you have an awesome profile that will get you an amazing date.
A poorly written profile looks like this:
Why is this bad?
Many people share these interests. While they are perfectly fine to have as interests, keep in mind women are going through dozens of matches to find someone who is right for them. How will she know that you are a more fun, in shape, beer liking guy than the next? Chances are people that live in your area will have similar interests as well. I live in Colorado where hiking, skiing, and being outdoors is a common activity. It’s not unusual for me to see profile after profile of women listing how they like skiing, hiking, and being outdoors. If you are wanting to increase your chances of having a solid connection, think about writing your profile and getting specific the same way you would as why you like your favorite restaurant.
For example: Think of your favorite restaurant. Why is it your favorite restaurant? I would imagine the reason isn’t because they serve food. It probably wouldn’t even be that they serve good Japanese food. Most likely, it would be because they have the best ramen with the most authentic Japanese farm style decor that you have ever seen.
“But why? Why should I take the time to write a good profile? Shouldn’t they just like me for who I am?”
What your write in your profile is a signal to women. How you present yourself online can either be attractive, or unattractive. Much like in person, we are only given a few moments to make a decision about someone. This is why it’s so important to put some personality into your profile. If you are writing a generic profile, you are only hurting your chances of meeting someone.
I posted a Facebook status asking what women thought of a guy who had a generic profile, here’s what they said:
This is why having a well written profile is so important. Let’s take a look at how we could rewrite the profile above:
Why is this profile better than the previous one? Let’s break it down.
First, qualifying yourself and explaining why you are fun to be around gives some context. The line, “Excited to get out of bed each morning and see what new opportunities I can create for myself and others.”
What does this line actually communicate?
It says you are passionate, compassionate, and a positive person to be around. If you ask any woman what are the most attractive traits that a man can possess, most likely her answer will be, funny, intelligent, compassionate. A quick Google search, or asking any woman will pull up these same results as well. With this single line you have displayed two of these traits.
Be careful though. Don’t just make up something to display these qualities. Find what it is for you that makes you stand out for yourself. The last thing you want is to show up on a date and have to be someone you aren’t. Here is one way to think about it. Ask yourself:
- What do I really care about?
- What can I talk about for a long time and be excited about?
You can take almost any quality and write it in a way that makes you stand out. Even if it’s football, show why you care so much. For example:
“I am excited to watch my team take the field every week with my friends who are awesome to be around.”
Sounds a lot better than:
“I am a football fan.”
Let’s take a look at the second line. “Video producer by day, blogger by night.” I am passionate about both of my jobs and I am proud to talk about them. I put this in because being a video producer allows me to travel to a lot of interesting places and have fun stories to share. Passion shows you have something in life that you are excited about, it’s what gives spice to your personality.
Even if you don’t like your job, write something that you are passionate about. It can be what you do after work, your favorite hobby, your favorite football team – more importantly communicate why this is important to you.
“I love riding my bike and getting the fresh air in my lungs.”
“A good book is a great way to unwind, especially after a long day.”
Things to avoid: The one dimensional profile. Be careful about limiting yourself to one aspect of your personality. If all of your profile pictures are of you wearing your favorite sports team jersey and you are tailgating in all of them, you are signaling that you don’t have many other interests.
What does this signal?
A one dimensional profile signals to women, “Oh, he must be totally obsessed with this one thing. There’s no way we would have time to hang out with me, or be able to talk about anything else.”
Instead, include some depth to your profile. This means write about 2 or 3 of your favorite interests/hobbies/activities and have the same reflected in your profile pictures.
A quick guide to profile pictures
Profile pictures are extremely important to get right. The best way to do this is to include a few different kinds. Here are the few rules to follow:
High quality – Be sure that your pictures are high resolution, and well lit. If the image shows up as fuzzy or low quality, you aren’t showing off your features and it will be hard for women to see what you truly look like.
No shirtless selfies – Even if you are totally ripped and have the best body on the planet, keep the shirt on. If you want to show off all the hard work you put into your body, do it in a natural way, (at the beach surfing, on a hike where it looks like the weather is warm, you in the ring at a boxing match).
The difference in what it signals to women is significant. The shirtless selfie says, “I took the time to take my shirt off and show off my body because I’m full of myself.”
The beach photo says, “I take care of my body, and I’m out doing something fun!” Although it sounds subtle, the difference is huge. Ask a few women their opinion if you don’t believe me.
Recent – No one likes to go on the surprise date of someone who used to be in shape and then put on 20 pounds. Your profile pictures should be less than a year old.
Solo shots – Make sure it’s easy to tell who you are in each photo. If your first 3 photos are a group photo with 7 people in it, how are they supposed to know it’s you? Make it clear and evident on who you are.
All of these elements are important for having a good profile that gets you a quality date. If you spend the time making sure your profile is well written, you will see a good return.
I’ve included a free checklist with more examples on steps to follow to make sure your profile is up to speed.
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a dating app designed with women in mind. Founded by 3 sisters in 2012 in NYC, CMB aims to deliver a fun, safe, and quality dating experience that results in meaningful relationships.