Calling Back-Phobia
Here is what I saw at Cindy Sherman’s Exhibit at MoMA over the weekend…It hit me hard.
The woman who is sadly gazing at the phone is actually Cindy Sherman herself, which made this piece more powerful and I think easier for the audience to relate to. She used herself as a medium in connecting with the audience to share her vision and feelings.
Looking at this photograph I felt the sadness, disappointment and pure ache she was feeling as she waited for her man to call.
Having a moment in MoMA, I absolutely felt and understood this woman.
How many times have you wondered- “why is he not calling back?”
Does falling asleep with your cellphone next to your pillow so you won’t miss a call, and waking up to nothing sound all too familiar to you?
This could happen after a night out at the bar, after a first date or even after many dates- but the ‘no call back’ happens way too frequently.
Christian Carter laid it down for us on Shape.com why guys don’t call back, and the reasons are quite obvious but spot on. Here are the reasons Carter gives for why men don’t call back:
1. They have trouble being honest and being vulnerable
2. If they are looking for a fling rather than something serious
3. They were just being polite earlier
4. They lost interest in you
5. They lost your number- or simply forgot to call
These scenarios arise mostly after couple of casual dates when everything about the relationship is up in the air. The question and problem here are how the women deal with these scenarios- after the guy doesn’t call for awhile. The idealistic way to put an end to this while still being sane is for the woman to keep her cool and to move on. However generally that’s not case. Rather than saying, “Forget it!” she will probably be vent over a tub of ice cream or continue to hold on to the phone while waiting for his call.
It made me wonder why women still feel like men leave them in the dark when these reasons are quite self explanatory. I truly believe its the fear of rejection that causes drama when the man doesn’t call back. All of the hidden insecurities creep up and hurts the woman’s ego and make her question, “What did I do wrong?” when really he didn’t call because of reason #1, 2, or 5- reasons she had no control over.
Women have to understand how men’s minds work and not take simple gestures too seriously. If he doesn’t call back there’s nothing to read into. He is not interested in you up to the point you would like him to. So either give him the time and space for him to grow to like you, or move on.
The universal question is though, do men suffer as much as women do when they don’t get a call they are expecting? I’ve seen men be upset for couple of days if his date falls through, but haven’t seen a man sulk over a tub of ice cream while staring at the phone hoping for it to light up.
Are men simply insensitive and more ready to go back into the dating scene immediately? Or do women get emotionally invested too soon?
