Disappearing Bagel

Disappearing Bagel

This bagel seemed really promising. Her pictures on her profile showcased that she is athletic and likes the outdoors and is really attractive. She also had some other interesting things written in her profile that were not typical answers to the open-ended “I am…”, “I like…”, and “I appreciate it when my date…”.

My interest was sparked. A girl who knows how to use words with intelligence, eloquence, and finesse will definitely catch my attention.

*Tap*
*Like*
“Oh Snap! Connected!? She clicked ‘Like’, too?!”

It caught me off-guard more than anything. Why is this gorgeous girl clicking “Like” for me?!

I suspended my initial shock and began the typical in-app texting. There’s a brief exchange and then nothing.

Just nothing.

Did I bore you that much? I didn’t really even get a fair chance to bore you. I asked you TWO questions. Just let me talk about something that I’m passionate about that you have absolutely no interest in, and then I can bore you to sleep!

All I know about you from our in-app texting, is that you ate In N’ Out and Yogurtland for lunch and started to feel sick.

At the risk of sounding condescending, all I have to say to that is, “bad choice” and “what did you think was going to happen with that food combination?”

Dating pro-tip: If you’re going to disappear within an hour of getting connected, just be brutally honest and say you’re not really into that person. You haven’t even actually met yet so the risk of hurting anyone’s feelings is nil.

In all honesty, she probably clicked “Like” indiscriminately and was hoping I wouldn’t click “Like” to establish the connection.

Oops… my bad?