Different Coasts Mean Different Bros
I recently moved from NYC to San Diego. I prepared my wardrobe accordingly, but I didn’t prepare myself for the SoCal dating scene. I thought it would be fun to compare the different dating styles of places I’ve lived: East Coast (Manhattan), West Coast (San Diego) and the Northwest (Montana).
Note: If you don’t like stereotypes, you won’t like this post.
SCHEDULING A DATE
NYC
This happens a week in advance. He might send a Google calendar invite so you can both put in on your busy calendars.
San Diego
The plan for Friday night will come to fruition during a lunch break that same day.
Montana
Your date may or may not have a smartphone, so your activity will be planned via an actual phone call.
AMBIENCE
NYC
Crowded restaurant, with two other couples sitting 12 inches on either side of you. Get ready to talk about your relationship history with complete strangers eavesdropping.
Drink order: expensive whiskey, neat
San Diego
Outdoor patio. When you finally decide to leave, you’ll have to ask for the check because no one is in any sort of hurry.
Drink order: craft beer, IPA (because that’s the only kind they brew)
Montana
Also outside. But not like a cute restaurant patio kind of outside. You’ll probably be talking about your interests and hobbies while you’re huffing and puffing up a mountain.
Drink order: cheap whiskey, on-the-rocks
CONVERSATION
NYC
Work. And how much they have to work. Probably banking. Then you’ll move on to outrageous rent and cocktail prices.
Lingo: mergers and acquisitions, assets, appreciation (different kind), capital, buy-in
San Diego
The beach and the awesome weather.
Lingo: chill, sick, bro (usually pronounced, brah), rad, the break, anything that ends with ‘board’ (surfboard, longboard, skateboard)
Montana
Anything involving outdoor activities. Hunting, fishing, camping, hiking, skiing, mountain biking, etc. and how absurd it is that anyone would want to live in a “big city”.
Lingo: peak bagging, scree skiing, back-country, single-track, cramp-ons
LIKELIHOOD YOU’LL HAVE TO PAY
NYC
0% – Amex Black all the way — did I mention they’re in Finance?
San Diego
50%
If you offer to pay for half, they’ll let you. Because they’re laid-back like that.
Montana
N/A
Your first date will not be at a restaurant. Did I mention they’re into the outdoors?
STYLE
NYC
Dress pants, buttoned up collared shirt, leather shoes
San Diego
You will always be over-dressed for this date because they’re going to show up in a t-shirt, board shorts and Rainbow flip-flops.
Montana
Jeans, flannel shirt, work boots or athletic shoes, and a beard.
ATTRACTIVENESS
NYC
HOT – in the I dress well and care about my haircut kind of way
San Diego
HOT – in the I workout everyday, here is my 8-pack and tanned calves kind of way
Montana
HOT – in the I can scale a mountain, chop a load of wood, change the oil in your car, and grow a beard — all in the same day — kind of way
FAVORITE MUSIC
NYC
Some band you’ve never heard of that’s playing at some venue in the East Village that you’ve never heard of.
San Diego
The Red Hot Chili Peppers or Bob Marley
Montana
Country
EDUCATION
NYC
Ivy League
San Diego
USD. Or was it SDSU? Or maybe it was UC – Davis / Berkeley / Santa Barbara.
Don’t even get me started on the 15 UC schools.
If I’m lucky, it’s UCLA, because that’s the only one I can remember — Go Bruins… right?
Montana
Varies — but it’s either some midwest college you’ve never heard of, or it’s one of the two universities in Montana, UM or MSU. See California?
LONG DISTANCE DEAL BREAKERS
NYC
It depends on where you live, but from my apartment in Chelsea anyone on the Upper East Side needed serious potential.
San Diego
Orange County
And that’s pushing it. I’ll be honest, anything north of Escondido seems like a lot of work.
Montana
N/A
You don’t have a very big pool to choose from, so you’ll make any type of distance work. As long as he can change a flat tire, start a fire, and shoot whatever meat you want in the freezer.
END OF THE NIGHT
NYC
If you’re taking the same train home, you’ll get a quick wave goodbye as they fight to get through the subway doors
San Diego
They would walk you to your door, but parking is a nightmare so you’ll either attempt the extremely difficult hug over the middle console, or just say goodbye and leave. I recommend the latter.
Montana
They’ll walk you to wherever your car is parked at the trailhead, and then you’ll get an equal parts smelly and sweaty hug.
If you liked this post, check out 10 Things I Learned from Online Dating
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