Gay Dating App Smackdown: Coffee Meets Bagel Vs. Grindr

(This post was originally published in 2014 and is back by popular demand!)

If you’ve learned anything from Pride this year, aside from what a jock-strap tan line looks like, it’s that you deserve the very best. Whether it’s with your family, at your workplace, or in the bedroom–you should never feel like you need to settle for less. So why are you still using second-rate dating services to find meaningful connections?
It’s time to treat yourself to a new online dating experience, because you’re worth it. And as goddess RuPaul always says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” Wise words Ru, now let this guide help you make the switch!

COFFEE MEETS BAGEL VS. GRINDR

1. The Men

gay men, cmb, coffee meets bagel, grindr, men, online dating, dating profilesA.K.A. Sultry vs. Scary, we’re guessing he was working on becoming a real life Deuce of Spades.

Supernatural, Castiel, gay, do not want

2. Using the App

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 The choice is clear.

bagels, OC, seth cohen, adam brody

3. Early Messages

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Some people really like to cut to the chase.

anime, reaction gif, phone, text

4. The Meet Up

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But hey, if water closet first dates are your thing…

britney spears, ew, ew face, grossed out

5. The Conversation After

Date, gay dating, grindr guys, douchebag

Notice the one-sided, self-indulgent nature of Mr. Frat-Star’s Grindr conversation.

The Queen does not approve.

Queen Bey, Beyoncé, ew face, Mrs. Carter

6. Telling People How You Met

remembering, story, how we met, nic cage, grindr Because “Well, it was dark, and I was drunk and lonely…” doesn’t make for the warmest, fuzziest story.

ew face, gross, grindr

7. Long Term Potential

marriage, coffee meets bagel, same-sex marriage, gay marriage, relationships, loneliness, alcoholism, drinking

~If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it~

glee, proposal, gay marriage, kurt, blaine, same-sex marriage

Life is fabulous, but short. Don’t waste your time searching for love in all the wrong places.

A grinder is for coffee beans, graduate to Coffee (and a delicious Bagel).

BONUS COMIC: “Set Phasers to Pride”

Grindr, Pride, LGBT Pride Month, Gay Pride, Comic Strip, comic

Did you like this post? Then check out 7 differences between dating on Coffee Meets Bagel and Tinder


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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How Two Men Found Love Where They Least Expected It

Will and Andrew's Profiles
Andrew wasn’t excited about the dating scene when he moved to Los Angeles.  “Already weary of how “fake” this town is, I could only imagine how vicious the gays of West Hollywood would be.” Andrew says. Really, he was in search of a true and meaningful connection, one that he believed internet sites and dating apps wouldn’t be able to provide for him. “The stereotypes surrounding the internet hook-up culture are true,” he laments, “dating apps and websites instill a sort of instant gratification for our generation that sadly allows us to cheapen the interactions we have with one another.” Andrew wasn’t the type to scroll through an endless database of torso shots. It was apt, then, that he found Coffee Meets Bagel.

He describes the meditative pace of the app. He liked that he was able to practice patience and to wait to receive his answers. “I think it was the waiting that seemed to kind of bring everything back to a normal pace,” he says. The ability to focus, reflect on decisions, and take things slowly in the age of fast-paced internet hook-ups was invaluable.

When he met Will through Coffee Meets Bagel, his eyes opened up to LA. It’s easy to tell that he contains an excitement and passion for their relationship that is simultaneously lovely and infectious. Andrew says:
“And when I saw Will… I think I could just tell.  I’m not going to pretend like it all made sense the moment I saw his photograph.  But it did all make sense very quickly.  There were no games and no facades.  He was a genuine man from the moment I met him.  And while our aesthetic tastes can be excruciatingly opposed, I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.  The world he’s opened me up to, his world, is refreshing, playful, and relaxing.  Will was born and raised in Los Angeles, and over the past 10 months he’s taken me all over this city.  On the weekends we’ll explore Little Tokyo and Chinatown or roam Los Feliz and Silverlake before having dinner at his family’s house.  He has so many siblings, I swear there’s a birthday cake every other week…  For Will, Los Angeles is home, and he’s taught me that there’s a lot more human here than I thought. We even join in the West Hollywood nightlife together; every monday night when there’s a new episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, the bars fill up like it’s monday night football for the gays! ”

They’ve just celebrated their 10 month anniversary, by preparing a homemade meal and watching Netflix– how many would describe a perfect evening.  They’ve  “become so accustomed to one another’s habits and mannerisms,” Andrew says,  “it’s hard to image I didn’t even know this man a year ago, let alone that I met him through an app.”
And we’re so happy that you did, Andrew.
 
Did you like this post? If you did, be sure to check out “This Couple Is Way Too Cute To Be On Tinder! (…And They’re Not!)”
 


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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10 Sex Secrets from Gay Singles

10 Sex Secrets Revealed From Gay Singles

At some point in your life, you’ve probably wondered if you’re living up to your sex potential.
Am I getting it enough? Have I been adventurous? Why can’t I stop imagining threesomes?
And most importantly, does anyone else worry about this stuff?
Well, gay single men on Coffee Meets Bagel have spoken out, and the good news is in—you’re not alone. Check out these 10 Sex Secrets, and see how you match up!
10 Sex Secrets Revealed from Gay Singles
If you enjoyed this post and want to see more dating stats, check out 8 Body Confessions from Gay Singles.


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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gay, gay couple

Finding the Real Me: A Gay College Student’s Search for Authenticity

It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly when we become “ourselves.”
I knew I was gay from a young age. I didn’t have the vocabulary to understand it at the time; it was always some puzzle that I put off unraveling. It wasn’t my identity, but it still managed to shift the sands beneath my feet whenever I thought I had found stable footing.
For a lot of LGBT* folks, identity is a constant negotiation between the way we see ourselves and they way we feel we’re supposed to be perceived. We try to draw lines separating our family’s values from our own opinions, society’s gaze from the reflection in the mirror. We spend a lot of time believing that there is no real way to “be yourself.”
Things change when you start living on your own. You can feel the eyes lifting off of your back. You finally have space to breathe. It’s like breaking out of a glass coffin.
College is often referred to as our “formative years,” and there is real truth to that. For most of us, it inevitably brings the ceaseless search for love — a journey that turns out to be more about self-discovery than actual match making.
gay, online dating, grindr, validation, lgbt, identity

Validation

Growing up, I never really let myself confront that sinking feeling in the back of my mind. There didn’t seem to be any point in accepting that I was gay if I didn’t have anyone to “be gay” with—gay friends, a boyfriend, a drag mother. Okay, I was actually terrified of drag queens back then, but now I can’t get enough.
I had never met a gay person before in my life, at least not that I knew of. I was only vaguely aware that other people like me existed. There was nothing grounding the insidious feeling of difference in reality. It was difficult to ignore, but impossible to embrace.
I had accepted that I wasn’t living a whole life—no matter how many little moments of happiness I found when I was younger, they always fell just short of the threshold that would bring contentedness. I felt like I was lying all the time, to my friends, my family, and of course, myself. I wanted to get away from everyone that knew me so I could hit reset and start living honestly. I had my tunnel vision set on college.
It didn’t disappoint.
Maybe it’s the clean slate, or the familial distance, or the first real gulps of alcohol, but somehow we newly-unleashed-burgeoning-adults were finally able to find authenticity away from home. The social strictures of high school seemed to (mostly) fade away. Friend groups shifted, styles changed, and fantastic personalities emerged.
In my first week I walked by a Pride Student Union display, excitedly supported by throng of students. Within a couple months I had fallen in with an out and proud group of guys that quickly became some of the best friends I’d ever had.
I didn’t come out to them then, that was an insidious process of letting down walls that would take much more time. Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but gravitate towards their complete comfort with themselves and each other.
My first night at a gay club (masquerading as the token straight friend) was a transformative experience.I was surrounded by all different kinds of guys—reserved barflies, neon-haired flirts, drag performers, more than a few pole dancers—but if they were united by anything, it was the simple fact that they just did not care what anyone else thought of them. My old anxiety over identity felt like a lifetime ago. Suddenly that intangible concept of desire and longing was real and smiling at me from a dozen faces.
I wasn’t the only one looking. I wasn’t the only one lost.
That feeling I refused to let bubble to the surface was rising all around me. For the first time, it made sense to accept the inevitable.
My feelings were real, valid, and shared.
gay, online dating, college, empathy, lgbt, identity

Empathy

One of the biggest things holding people back from announcing their orientation is the knowledge that the people they tell will never truly understand the depth and nuance of the experience. Even positive responses can be disappointing, but more importantly, it’s not always safe to come out to a community that has no way of empathizing.
Dating can be an important ritual in college, if not for sexual satiation, then for the compassionate emotional connection. There is an understanding we search for, beyond the hookups (though those are nice too), that is undeniably liberating to find in another person.
For gay people, the level of empathy shared between partners is both heightened and necessitated by the disconnect we’ve lived with our entire lives.
Sexual orientation is relational, it is defined by your attraction (or lack thereof) for another human being. It doesn’t exist in a vacuum. That’s why for many people, the feelings they’ve acknowledged their whole life don’t become “real” until they culminate in actually being with another person. That was certainly the case for me.
It was only after meeting an amazing guy, dating him, and allowing myself to express all the pent up feelings I’d been hoarding all my life that I was able to say the words. And it was liberating beyond belief, even more so to hear that he had gone through exactly the same journey.
After that, we didn’t have to talk much about being gay. The empathy was felt.
When two people share uncommonly similar struggles with identity, even the words that go unspoken feel decidedly reassuring.
gay, online dating, college, community, lgbt, solidarity, identity

Solidarity

Maybe I’m valorizing the college dating scene. I went to a massive, fairly liberal school and I was lucky to be surrounded with like-minded people. Whether I was looking for love or grasping for understanding, friends, boyfriends, and sages of gay wisdom seemed to keep popping out of the woodwork.
I woke up in the center of a network I had never set out to create, but was nonetheless grateful to have surrounding me. Somewhere in-between the flirtatious winky-faces, the late night talks and the long hard looks in the mirror, my identity solidified itself. The ground became stable.
I become myself.

Did you enjoy this post? Then make sure to check out This Gay Texting Guide Gives You the Low-Down.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

Coffee Meets Bagel, Best Dating App

Gay men, gay, text, cute guys, decoding texts, his messages

This Gay Texting Guide Gives You the Low-Down

Online communication can be a cryptic labyrinth of hidden meanings at times. You can’t see the squinting eyes, the shrugging shoulders, or the nervous sweating—who knows if that tongue-sticking-out emoji is really sincere?
Gay singles have been just as lost as the rest of the world when it comes to decoding the truth behind those digital messages, but now it’s time to come out of the dark!
Here’s a somewhat-serious beginner’s guide to decoding the messages gay men are sending to figure out what they are really trying to say:

The First Message:

He Says:                                                                                         He means:

Grindr, gay, text, message, gay men, texting guide

He Says:                                                                                         He means:

Gay, text, bloods, crips, thug,

Compliments:

He Says:                                                                                         He means:
gay, text, cute guy, sharing photos, pictures, decoding texts, his messages
He Says:                                                                                         He means:
Gay, text, work out, fitness, decoding texts, his messages
He Says:                                                                                         He means:
beyoncé, beyonce, gay, text, funny, decoding texts, his messages

Questions:

He Asks:                                                                                         He means:
Gay, text, exes, ex-boyfriends, awkward, decoding texts, his messages He Asks:                                                                                         He means:
gay, text, sports, the game, bar, decoding texts, his messages
He Asks:                                                                                         He means:
 
Facebook, Facebook Stalking, Falking, gay, gay men, texts, messages, texting guide

Celebrity References:

He Says:                                                                                         He means:
Gay, text, yas gaga, yaaass, body glitter, fabulous, flamboyant, Lady Gaga, decoding texts, his messages
He Says:                                                                                         He means:
gay, text, anderson cooper, silver fox, decoding texts, his messages
He Says:                                                                                         He means:
gay, text, NPH, family, gay marriage, Neil Patrick Harris, David Burtka, decoding texts, his messages

The Next Step:

He Says:                                                                                         He means:
gay, text, dinner, candle light, wine, decoding texts, his messages
Ok, so maybe this guide is a little presumptuous—but if you follow it to the letter you’ll find that it’s right at least 15% of the time. Statistically speaking.
The fact is, even this self-appointed expert doesn’t have all the answers. You’re talking to a real, live, sincere (probably cute) human being, so keep on chatting away and get to really know them.
You’ll find the truth between the text messages.
Did you enjoy this post? Then make sure to check out 8 Body Confessions From Gay Single Men.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

Coffee Meets Bagel, Best Dating App

Dating Advice for Gay Men

8 Body Confessions from Gay Single Men

Dating X File is back with more juicy truth about dating – this time on how your fitness level is impacting your dating life!
Take a look at what 600 Coffee Meets Bagel gay single men have told us on the relationship between fitness & dating – A must-know insight for all singles, especially if your New Year’s resolution includes getting more fit!
Gay Singles' Guide to New Year's Resolution around Fitness


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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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