Whether you’ve been on Coffee Meets Bagel for three days or three months, chances are pretty high that you’ve seen us talk about beans. But do you know how to use them to their full potential?
We’ll give you the full rundown. But first, let’s cover the basic question: What exactly are beans? Simply put, they’re our in-app currency that you can use to unlock special features. Here’s a few ways they can give you a helping hand.
Everything you can do with beans
Get up to 5x the views. Plus likes that get shown sooner with a little help from Boost. Pick one up by tapping your profile icon in the top left corner, then “Boost me.”
Match in more ways. Suggested is great, but sometimes you might want to explore outside of the potential matches we picked out for you. You can send likes to people who catch your eye in Discover using beans.
Be shown first. When you run into a popular person on the app, you don’t want your like to get stuck behind a long queue. Use beans to buy Skip the Line, which sends flowers with your like and makes sure you get shown first.
Rekindle a convo. Maybe life got in the way and a chat dwindled away, or you just needed some time away from dating. Regardless of the reason, sometimes a chat deserves a second chance. Use beans on Reopen Chat to pick up where you left off.
So, that’s the inside scoop on beans! Now that you’re a total pro, you can let beans do some of the hard dating work for you. If you’re ever curious about how many you have, look for a beans icon in the top right corner of the Profile Me section – they’ll be a counter there. Find yourself wanting more beans? Earn some for free by signing in and referring friends. Or you can always pick some up in the Bean Shop.
A note from Arum Kang, co-founder & CEO of Coffee Meets Bagel
Now that you’ve learned how to chat like a champ, pick your best pics, and stay safe while looking for someone special, I wanted to cover one last thing before we officially send you on your way to meet someone great: CMB Premium.
I know what you’re thinking. “Really, an upsell?” But here’s the thing: My sisters and I started Coffee Meets Bagel because we were tired of all of the dead-end dating apps that led you round and round with no end in sight. We wanted to create a better way to date, one that actually helps you meet other people looking for a serious relationship.
And the inside scoop from me to you? Subscribers get up to 2x the quality matches *and* dates, thanks to all of the goodies that come with Premium. That means more chances to find your person. Let’s go over all those Premium benefits so you can better understand how they help (and so there’s no confusion when you see them on the app, too).
All the benefits of Premium
See everyone who likes you. Why wait to meet someone great? Unblur all your likes and match instantly.
8 Discover Likes a month. Remember, Discover is where you can find people outside of your Preferences for Suggested.
Premium Preferences. Want more control over who you see? Set relationship goals, smoking habits, family plans, and more.
3 Boosts a month. All eyes on you! Enjoy up to 5x more views and every like you send while being boosted gets shown sooner.
Unlimited Skip the Line. Stumble upon a popular potential match and want to stand out? Send flowers to be shown first.
Activity Reports. Who doesn’t love some extra info? See who’s worth your time with activity and chat data.
Read Receipts. Waiting, schmaiting. Know when messages are read, so you’re never left in the dark.
Unlimited Rewinds. Have a change of heart? Undo passes on suggested profiles in History.
OK, I’m done preaching about CMB Premium! Whether you decide to give a subscription a try or not, you’re all set to go out there and find your someone. And remember, dating is a process. Try your best to enjoy it, and don’t let any downs overshadow all of the amazing ups. Good luck!
Talking about money with someone new has been taboo for too long. We believe every dater should be able to talk about the things that matter most with someone new, and how you manage your finances definitely falls under that category.
So, to better understand how daters feel when it comes to talking about money with their dates, we teamed up with Syfe, Singapore’s leading digital investment platform, to go straight to the source. And you know what? Turns out that money does matter.
In our Love Meets Money survey, we learned that 92% of Singaporeans agree that the ability to manage money is an attractive quality for a long-term partner. And that’s not all. Let’s take a deeper dive into how daters navigate the tricky topic.
Handling the bill on a first date
The discussion about who should pay on a first date has always been a hot-button topic. But based on our survey results, daters might be more aligned than previously thought. For both men and women in Singapore, 2 in 5 think that men should pay, and 1 in 3 think you should just split the bill.
And it turns out traditional beliefs are still going strong, seeing as how less than 1% of Singaporeans think the woman should pay on the first date.
Now, what happens if you offer to cover the bill and your date doesn’t object? Over half of the women surveyed said they’d be offended, whereas only 24% of men expect their date to offer to split in this scenario.
Our take? It’s best to just be both polite and upfront about the bill to avoid awkward exchanges or grudge-holding. For example, offer to pay your own way, but thank them if they insist on paying.
Talking about finances: How soon is too soon?
While we do think it’s important to talk about the things that matter early on, it’s not really a surprise that a lot of our survey participants said bringing up money on a first date is a big turnoff.
Although, this does vary with age: More than half of Singaporeans over 35 think money talk is off-limits for the first date, but only 40% under 35 feel the same way. Maybe talking about money isn’t quite so taboo as it used to be.
Regardless of whether you think finances are appropriate first-date material, most of our survey participants agree you can’t ignore it forever. So when can you bring it up? We’re a little divided, with 32% saying you should have the talk before you define the relationship, and 31% saying it’s OK to wait until you’re already in a serious relationship.
But if you want to hold off until you’ve moved in together or are getting married? Well, a whopping 98% think by that point, it’s too late.
How money matters in a relationship
So, why does talking about money even matter to daters? It turns out that careers play a part. Which makes sense, if you want to be with someone who you’re not only compatible with, but who you can build a stable life with, too.
While talking about money on a first date isn’t really all that sexy, 1 in 3 Singaporeans said they’d be open to discussing salaries in particular within just five dates. And in the same vein, 44% think it’s necessary to get into that topic before you make things official.
The survey also found that women take careers into consideration when picking a potential partner. When it comes to ranking criteria that matter most for a relationship, career came in second place for women, while it didn’t crack the top three for men.
But while Singaporean men and women might disagree on the career ranking, one thing they did agree on? Values are the most important thing to look at when deciding if someone is the right fit for you. And we couldn’t agree more.
The importance of aligning on the big things
We know, talking about money can be awkward and weird and maybe even feel a little intrusive. But it doesn’t have to be! Whether we like it or not, money plays a big role in our lives. And we believe that daters should be able to talk about those big things if they want to build a trusting, lasting relationship. If you’re stuck here’s a few tips to remember:
👉 Do acknowledge the weirdness. Talking about money isn’t easy for everyone. Let them know if you’re nervous, and try to remember this is just a chat and not some battle.
👉 Don’t shame them. Try to remember that not everyone will have the same financial literacy or money-management skills – but we can all learn.
👉 Do consider their situation. Remember that wanting to split costs doesn’t mean they don’t like you, they just might not have the same finances as you.
👉 Don’t ambush them. Give some notice to see if they’re open to talking. For example, “If we’re moving in together I think we should start thinking about a monthly budget. Thoughts?”
So go ahead, have the hard conversations. Make sure you’re on the same page, whether it comes to something as small as splitting the bill, or something as big as making investment plans for your future selves.
But maybe just save the hard-hitting talks for the third or fourth date.
As a dating app working to give everyone a chance at love, whoever that may be with, we decided to celebrate Pride this year in one of the best ways we know how: By setting you up on great dates!
We’ve put together a list of queer-owned businesses in San Francisco, New York, and Los Angeles that are total first-date material. And hey, they’re perfect for third dates or friend outings or solo trips, too. Be sure to check them out not just this Pride Month, but all year long.
New York City
Baz Bagels
You know we had to start this list with bagels. Stop by this charming neighborhood deli in Little Italy for a casual breakfast or lunch date with some hand-rolled bagels. Might we suggest the rainbow variety?
Big Gay Ice Cream
Originally founded as a food truck by Douglas Quint and Bryan Petroff, this spot is your stop if you’re in for a sweet treat. Grab some soft serve at either one of their locations in the Upper West Side or West Village.
Odd Fox Coffee
Want to inject a little whimsy (and caffeine) into a casual date? Odd Fox Coffee has two Brooklyn locations, so take your pick and enjoy a laid-back meetup.
Elmo
Whether it’s brunch, lunch, dinner, or drinks you’re after, Elmo in Chelsea is a go-to spot for a first date. Indulge in some shareable comfort food, like deviled eggs or popcorn shrimp.
Ursula
Spice up a breakfast date at this New Mexican-inspired cafe in Crown Heights, owned by Eric See. Heads up: It’s a takeout spot with only a few outdoor seats, so maybe grab two burritos to go and enjoy a stroll with your date.
Los Angeles
Liberation Coffee House
Located at the Los Angeles LGBT Center, this bright and beautiful cafe and community center is perfect for great conversation with someone new. Fun fact: It’s run by graduates of the organization’s Culinary Arts program that helps prepare LGBTQIA+ participants for work in the restaurant and hospitality industries.
Casita Del Campo
Going out with a margarita lover? Head to this colorful local spot with a long LGBTQIA+ history for an authentic Mexican meal. Pro-tip: Don’t skip out on sharing some chips and guac.
Nickel Diner
Sometimes comfort food in a retro setting is exactly what you need for a date – and at this spot, you can split a homemade pop-tart. Co-owners Monica May and Kristen Trattner also implemented a new “Pay It Forward” program, where you can donate $13 to provide a meal to someone in need.
Little Barn Coffee House
Woman, Latinx, and queer-owned, this little coffee spot is calling your name if you’re interested in a quick drink or a lunch meetup with someone new. And bonus, it’s vegan!
Jewel
Another spot for our dairy and meat-free daters. Check out this plant-based restaurant in Silver Lake with a patio that’s perfect for good conversations.
San Francisco Bay Area
Boichik Bagel
Named after a Yiddish term of endearment for a young man, owner Emily Winston opened this bagel spot to bring a taste of her New Jersey roots to her new home on the West Coast. A great get-to-know-you question for this date: What kind of bagel would you be and why?
Third Culture Bakery
Looking for a casual spot on a beautiful day? Meet up at this counter service bakery for some matcha and mochi muffins, and enjoy them out front in their outdoor seating area.
Equator Coffees
Coffee really can be the best first date, if we do say so ourselves. Equator Coffees has several locations around the Bay Area, so you can easily find a spot that works for both you and your date.
Lion Dance Cafe
Looking for a plant-based date spot in Oakland? This casual space has rave reviews for its authentic Singaporean fare, which you can enjoy in their first-come, first-serve outdoor parklet.
Pinhole Coffee
Tea, coffee, pastries, anyone? Head to this woman, POC, and queer-owned coffee shop in Bernal Heights for a quick meetup that isn’t short on charm.
Show support this Pride and beyond
Pride Month is a great time to get out and support the LGBTQIA+ community, but don’t forget these are great date spots year-round – not just in June. And of course, this list is far from complete. So don’t hold out on us if you know about any other queer-owned spots we missed! Check out our Instagram post and drop your contributions in the comments.
Scams are nothing new. We’ve all heard the cautionary tale about emails from a “friend” asking for a loan while they wait for their enormous trust fund to kick in.
But the latest online dating scam is much more clever than a shady email. It also has a new angle: cryptocurrency investing. Known as the “Pig Butchering Scam,” it started in China but is now targeting dating sites all over the world. It’s become such a problem that the FBI recently sent out this warning. They’ve received over 1,800 complaints about this new scam in the first seven months of 2021 alone.
This scam can be harder to spot than others, but that doesn’t mean you have to feel unsafe while dating. Keep reading to learn the ins and outs of the Pig Butchering Scam, from what it looks like to how to avoid it.
How the new crypto scam works
Wonder why it’s called the Pig Butchering Scam? It’s because these scammers play the long game. First, they gain your trust, then they “lead you to the butcher.” Here’s how it goes down.
After matching on a dating site, they’ll spend one to three months making you comfortable. They’re trained on how to act and have scripts for countless scenarios. So, everything feels real.
Next, they’ll suggest they can help you make a lot of money in cryptocurrency investment. Keep in mind, they won’t ask you directly for any money or your personal information. They might even encourage you to buy crypto from a legitimate exchange.
From there, you’ll be directed to a fake third-party website or app to start investing. The phony sites are top-notch, complete with “customer service.”
You’ll start to see a “profit” and they’ll even let you “withdraw” a small amount of money. This is a trick to further gain your trust. Once you’re feeling confident, the scammer will convince you to invest larger amounts. They’ll use phrases like “act fast” or shame you into feeling like you’re not giving enough.
But when you try to withdraw money again, the scammer or fake customer service representative won’t allow it. You’re told that fees or taxes are owed, or the minimum account balance hasn’t been met. The excuses continue until you realize it’s all a scam. At this point, the scammer vanishes – along with your invested money.
So far, large losses have been the norm. The Global Anti-Scam Organization, a volunteer group led by victims of this scam, found that the average loss was $98,000 and about 70 percent of victims were women, most with a bachelor’s degree.
Want an insider’s look into how it works? Check out this video from a fellow online dater who fell victim to the scam.
An online dater goes into detail about how they fell for the popular “Pig Butchering Scam”
Tips for spotting a scammer
So, what does an actor from the Pig Butchering Scam tend to look like? This list won’t match every person involved in the scheme, but here are some general guidelines:
✔️ Realistic profile names with an age range of 28-35 years old
✔️ Fluent in Chinese while also speaking in broken English (They might claim to use a translator)
✔️ Works as a business owner or a field such as finance, medical supplies, or sales
✔️ Studied finance or accounting and invests in crypto, forex, or gold as a hobby
✔️ Shares luxury-type pictures, including cars, jewelry, and handbags
So, this scam is less obvious than ones that ask you for your personal information or money upfront. But there are still some other warning signs that can help you spot a scammer.
They’re everything you’re looking for. The fake profiles show very good-looking men or women, who are also looking for a serious relationship. The conversation will always be flowing. They’ll send good morning and good night texts, selfies, pictures at local landmarks, even shots of their “homecooked dinners.” After a few weeks, they might start using pet names for you or even profess their love. If they get too lovey too quick, throw up a red flag.
Meeting up and video chats aren’t an option. They might use excuses about being too busy to meet in person, usually because of work. Or they’ll say they’re too shy to video chat, and might even pull on your heartstrings by citing a past bad relationship. But if you’ve been talking to someone for weeks and have yet to lay eyes on them, you should be cautious.
They talk a lot about money. Actors in this scam will present themselves as super-wealthy and will talk about spending thousands of dollars like it’s nothing. Reminder: Even if they don’t ask for your private information, any type of talk about your finances with someone you haven’t met is always a red flag.
You’re told about deals that are too good to be true. They’ll convince you that you can have what they have – all you have to do is try out their investment plan. “Trust me,” they’ll say, “My uncle is an expert in crypto and taught me everything they know!” Get rich fast schemes are almost always just that – schemes.
Got scammed? What to do next
Remember, scammers are opportunists and online daters a prime target for their shady schemes. You download a dating app with dreams of opening up and finding your person – and scammers look to take advantage of that vulnerability.
So if you find yourself a victim of a scam, try not to judge yourself. You did something brave by putting yourself out there. The blame is entirely on the scammer.
Now, check out this article on our Help Desk for steps you can take if you need direction after being scammed.
How CMB finds and blocks scammers
Dating should never feel scary – at least not for reasons like this. That’s why we’re working overtime to keep our community safe from scammers.
We use AI programs dedicated to sorting out scammers. Plus, we have an Approval Team that reviews new profiles and checks photos and schools for apparent fakes. If someone happens to get through this system and creates a profile, then we rely on savvy daters like you to be another line of defense.
If you think you’ve come across or matched with a scammer, please report them immediately. By reporting a scammer, you’re preventing them from taking advantage of someone else in the future. And don’t worry – reporting is totally anonymous.
Once reported, we investigate, then ban the profile if appropriate. We’ll then alert our Approval Team not to approve anyone with that user’s information or photos moving forward.
We know this is a lot of information to take in. But we want to give you all of the tools you need to protect yourself. That way you can actually enjoy online dating and find what you’re looking for: a real, lasting relationship (not an empty bank account).
When you’re dating someone new and it feels right, it makes sense to start wondering about the next steps. Should I introduce them to my family? Will they love my dog? When are we going to have sex?
If that last question made you pause, you’re not alone. Talking about sex pretty much everywhere has a reputation for being uncomfortable or even taboo. This is especially true for singles in Singapore.
But we don’t think that has to be the status quo anymore. So, we got together with Durex to tackle the topic and give Singaporeans the tools they need to speak up about sex.
Spoiler alert, talking about sex is tough
To kick off our campaign with Durex, we asked daters in Singapore for their thoughts around talking about sex. Right away, we realized that plenty of people actually want to talk about it…but just aren’t.
It turns out that asking if your date wants to have sex isn’t really the hard part. Only 26% of daters said that’s where they get tripped up. But more than half of singles said the No. 1 thing they have trouble talking about is health and safety, like STD history or latest test date.
There was also a difference between men and women when it comes to bringing up sexual health with someone new.
These numbers show that women in Singapore might be bearing more of the burden around safe sex practices. And that burden is even more difficult if you and your partner aren’t actually talking about it.
What’s stopping daters from talking about sex?
When asked why they aren’t bringing up sex with their dates, 40% of daters said the same thing: it’s super uncomfortable.
Societal expectations play a major role here when we break down why talking about sex is uncomfortable in the first place. The No. 1 reason daters don’t feel like it’s OK to talk about sex with someone new? They don’t want to seem too forward or promiscuous.
One other reason stood out when daters shared why they aren’t talking about sex: 42% of women don’t feel comfortable talking about it because they just aren’t interested in sex before marriage, while only 19% of men felt this way.
How we can normalize talking about sex
We know dating is already complicated enough. And talking about something as awkward as sex adds an extra layer of worry. So, we figured the best thing to do was to be as forward as possible, and sat down with some daters to have them answer questions about sex together.
Daters in Singapore sit down together to answer questions about sex and dating.
Here’s the simple truth: You can’t have an honest, lasting relationship without good communication. And your sex life is included in that, too. If you want to know something about your date, like where they grew up or what their plans are for the future, you’d ask them. The same should go for questions around sex.
And even if you’re not interested in pre-marital sex, that doesn’t mean you should skip the conversation. It’s important that you share your plans with your dates and encourage them to do the same in return. That way, you can both make informed decisions about whether your wants and needs are compatible.
So that’s why we’re here to give you the tools you need to confidently ask the questions. We asked daters what they struggle with most and want to learn more about – here’s what we got.
How do I bring up sex?
You want to talk about sex with your dates…but just have no clue where to start. We totally get that, it’s a whole new world for a lot of us. Here are some questions to get you started:
💜 Is sex something you’re interested in?
💜 What are you looking for in a sexual partner?
💜 At what point would you feel comfortable having sex?
💜 What are some boundaries you need to set before sex?
💜 If you’re sleeping with other people, have you been tested?
Obviously, you don’t have to ask every one of these questions like some sort of interview. Think of these questions as guidelines to feel out what matters most to you, and you can ask them when the time feels right.
How do I set boundaries in my sex life?
We all know boundaries are important for a healthy relationship. But what does a boundary even mean? They’re going to look different for everyone. Here’s a few guidelines to help you figure yours out.
Think about past experiences. What did you like, what didn’t you like? Use those to figure out what you’d like your date to know now.
Get comfortable saying no. If you’re not down to have sex until a certain time or don’t want to try something they’re into, speak up. And if your date can’t respect those boundaries, it’s a sign to move on.
Write it down. Try filling out a yes/no/maybe worksheet to figure out what you’re both into. Writing things down and reading responses on your own time takes away some of that awkwardness that comes with talking in person.
Talk safety. Test dates, condom use, STD history, all that. And remember, safewords aren’t just for BDSM relationships. They work any time you need to quickly express when something isn’t right.
How do I build intimacy through sex?
OK, now you know the importance of talking about sex and you can cover the basics. Let’s build on that to make your relationship and sex life even better.
Start outside the bedroom. No, not like what you’re thinking. Ditch the small talk and work on opening up outside of your sex life, instead. That way you’ll feel more comfortable being real about what you like sexually.
Talk about your definitions. To you, sex might mean one thing. But to the person you’re seeing, it might look a little different. If you two aren’t on the same page, it might lead to a misunderstanding or unmet expectations.
Be explicit. Be clear about what you like and don’t like. If you’re just going through the motions with each other, chances are you’re not having the best sex you could be having. It can be as simple as “Hey, that whole leg move we did? I definitely cramped up. Let’s not do that again.”
Discover your fantasies. Once you’ve got that whole using-your-words thing down, move on from basic boundaries to sexual fantasies. You might feel silly, and maybe you’ll laugh or fumble while trying it out, but letting your partner try something new with you is super intimate.
Be prepared. Let’s be real, nothing kills a mood faster than not having peace of mind. Make sure you’ve got what you need, like condoms, beforehand. That way, it’s less worrying and more focusing on each other.
Where we can go from here
Listen, sex isn’t an easy topic, and we’re not all going to suddenly become experts who never fumble their way through a tough conversation. But we have to start somewhere if we want to make talking about sex our new normal.
If you want to learn more dating advice like this, be sure to check out our Instagram. We can get better at building lasting, stronger relationships together.
February 14 is upon us, and you know what that means: National Ferris Wheel Day!
Just kidding. Well, not totally kidding because February 14 is actually National Ferris Wheel Day (if the internet is to be believed). But you know we’re really here to talk about Valentine’s Day – and particularly, how it affects daters on Coffee Meets Bagel.
Historically, Dating Sunday – the first Sunday of the new year – has reigned supreme as the ultimate day for online dating, with daters matching and chatting left and right. But here’s the plot twist: While Dating Sunday may have the most activity, Coffee Meets Bagel actually sees the most user sign-ups on Valentine’s Day.
After discovering that little tidbit, we did some more digging around last year’s February 14. Here’s what we found about the day of love on CMB.
New Daters in Search of a CMB Valentine
On Valentine’s Day 2019, there was a 63% spike in new user sign-ups compared to the previous 30 days. Put that next to Dating Sunday’s 61% increase in 2019, and it looks like Valentine’s Day takes the heart-shaped cake for new user sign-ups!
Our data shows that these daters are getting an early jump on the holiday, with sign-ups peaking in the early hours of the morning. And we mean really early: The most popular time to sign up is between 2-3 a.m. ESTon Valentine’s Day.
Pro-tip: With the flood of new CMB’ers looking to match, you’ll want to make sure you stand out. Profiles with details filled out are 50% more liked than those with missing details, so do a quick review to make sure you’re putting your best foot (and photos) forward.
On V-Day, You’re More Likely to Match
For bagels hoping to see an uptick in their number of matches, Valentine’s Day could give you the results you’re looking for. That’s because daters are 24% more likely to match on this Valentine’s Day compared to the previous year.
And if the day is winding down but you’re not seeing the matches you expected, don’t give up hope yet: We see the most matches between 11-11:59 p.m. EST.
Pro-tip: When those matches do start rolling in, don’t wait to strike up a convo. It’s best to strike while the iron (or should we say bagel) is hot. Chats started on Coffee Meets Bagel within three hours of matching are 52% more likely to get a response!
Bagels Are Feeling Extra Chatty February 14
Ready to get your wordsmith on? We sure hope so because Coffee Meets Bagel daters are 14% more likely to chat on Valentine’s Day, compared to the previous year.
And not only are they feeling more sociable, it looks like bagels are getting right to it and kicking V-Day off with some stimulating conversation. Coffee Meets Bagel daters are the chattiest between 10-11 a.m. EST, so make sure you have your morning coffee.
Pro-tip: We found that when someone leads with a question, the response rate increases by over 20%! Dig deep into your reservoir of icebreakers to snag your match’s attention instead of sending the simple “Hey, how are you?”
Bonus: New Feature Highlights Your ‘Most Likely to Match’
Valentine’s Day is already looking to be a hit on Coffee Meets Bagel, but we wanted to sweeten the deal. As you join the flurry of holiday activity, keep an eye out for a new feature we’re rolling out: Most Likely to Match.
While all of your suggested bagels are tailored to your preferences and picked just for you (thanks to our wicked smart algorithms), you may occasionally stumble upon a bagel with the label “Most Likely to Match” on the top of their profile.
What does that mean exactly? It means that, based on your preferences and behaviors on the app, we think you and this bagel could really hit it off. The shiny Pokemon of bagels, if you will.
And what exactly makes these potential matches so special? We’ve found that you’re 5x more likely to connect with “Most Likely to Match” bagels. In addition, these specially labeled potentials are likely to spend up to 3x longer viewing your profile than the average suggested bagel.
So whether you’re heading into February 14 with dreams of a potential partner (or ferris wheels, that’s cool, too), Coffee Meets Bagel is the place to meet someone special – and maybe snag a great date while you’re at it.
To meet someone special this Valentine’s Day, download Coffee Meets Bagel to text yourself a link. Or, download CMB directly from your phone: iOS | Android
Coffee Meets Bagel’s very own Co-Founder and -CEO Dawoon Kang braved Reddit’s r/IamA January 22 to answer the questions on everyone’s mind: from tips for online dating, to where the name “Coffee Meets Bagel” came from. (And seriously, who’s the coffee? Who’s the bagel?!)
There are a lot of juicy questions and answers to sift through, so we’ve organized them and picked out the best. Here’s what happened after Dawoon Kang said, “Ask me anything!”
Tips for Online Dating
1. How Can I Increase My Match Rates on CMB?
Low match-rates are a big online dating frustration for many. However, CMB’s Dawoon has some helpful advice when it comes to making your profile more effective.
“When you answer profile questions, speak from your heart and talk honestly about what’s important about you and what you’re looking for in a date,” she said.
That’s because, Dawoon sums up, longer profiles are better than short ones. For more tips for online dating, skim Dawoon’s Reddit answer below.
2. Is Dating Sunday Really the Busiest Day for Online Dating?
Dating Sunday isn’t just folklore! In fact, the co-founder says Dating Sunday “was so big for us that it actually broke a record — it was the biggest chat day in CMB history!” The next most-popular day for chatty Cathys? The following Sunday, January 13.
But if you forgot to log in during peak dates, don’t worry. All of January is a popular time for Coffee Meets Bagel, so you still have time to connect.
3. What Are Some of the Best Online Dating Icebreakers?
In person, singles are forced to think quickly when it comes to breaking the ices. But, online? While more time to perfect a great opening line sounds pleasant, it can also be overwhelming. Should you tell a joke? Use a pick up line? Ask a question about something on their profile? Dawoon responded with enthusiasm. “Jokes are GREAT,” She said. “Awesome to make someone laugh!” Secondarily, commenting on someone’s profile is also a great way to hit it off. Just be sure not to be generic.
Once, Dawoon said, she used one of her favorite quotes from one of her favorite books, “The Alchemist,” on her profile. “I loved it when someone tried to guess where it was from,” Dawoon said. “It was a great convo starter.”
4. What’s Dawoon’s Online Dating Philosophy?
Something Dawoon has said in the past is that, “It’s not about getting as many Likes as possible — it’s about getting one right like.” And, Dawoon suggested, that’s why Coffee Meets Bagel is razor-focused on curating limited quality matches instead of an endless pool of singles. Another Redditor, “usctrojan415” gives further insight: “You don’t date online…at the end of the day you need to be able to transition offline effectively.”
Coffee Meets Bagel: How It Works and More
5. How Does ‘Discover’ Work?
To new community members, how Coffee Meets Bagel works might seem confusing. However, the platform is simple (even if our algorithm is complex)! Coffee Meets Bagel’s main draw is the “Suggested” section, where CMB’ers receive limited curated matches daily. The section is 100 percent free to use and to Like people. But when CMB’ers want to search for extra Bagels using their own Advanced Filters (such as age, location, and education), they can choose to use the “Discover” section, too. In this section, it’s free to browse, but community members must use Beans or have a special subscription to Like people.
As “happyaboutlife100” puts it below, “[Discover] was meant as just an adjunctive part of CMB – i.e. the cherry on top.”
6. What’s CMB Doing About Online Dating Bots?
Scammers and bots are the reality for many dating apps, and Coffee Meets Bagel is no exception. When Redditor “superken00” asked what CMB’s strategy was for dealing with these fake profiles, Dawoon responded candidly. Take a look!
7. What Does the Name ‘Coffee Meets Bagel’ Mean?
Thank you, “dl2ew” for asking a question everyone is ready to get to the bottom of! What does the name “Coffee Meets Bagel” mean, and where did it come from? Is the premise that you’re supposed to meet up for coffee? Dawoon gives a three-fold answer — see what she says in the screen-cap.
OK — so we didn’t learn who the coffee and who the bagel is on Coffee Meets Bagel. But, perhaps the magic is in the mystery. To see more of Dawoon Kang’s “Best Of” from her Reddit AMA, follow CMB on Instagram or view the full r/IamA.
It’s 2019, and a recruiter stumbles upon your LinkedIn. You have a blurry picture of yourself holding up your cat like Simba in “The Lion King,” and your profile says something about being a 2015 Flip Cup Champion, #LetsGetThisBread.
This same approach on Instagram may have earned you thousands of followers. But, let’s just say…you’re not getting the job today.
Just like social media sites have best practices unique to their platform, so do the top dating apps.
Whether you’re looking for a quick hook-up on Tinder, or someone who sparks your heart on Coffee Meets Bagel, you can rock the 2019 dating space by making sure you’re sharing your best self in the new year. Here’s how to start.
1. Start With Self-Reflection
None of the top dating apps, even Coffee Meets Bagel, can help you find the “right” match if you’re unsure of what you’re looking for. In fact, “We end up wasting a ton of time on the wrong people because we don’t know what we want,” says CMB Co-Founder Dawoon Kang.
Put It on Paper
To succeed from the start, try the following exercise: Beginning with a blank sheet of paper, write down what you think an amazing relationship would look like. Be as descriptive as possible. For example, you could write, “My partner would do house chores equally, and we’d take turns making healthy dinners.” Or, “We’d try something new every quarter.”
From this list, you can then pick out qualities you think are most important for your partner to have. Then, Dawoon suggests, “Strive to become this person,” because we often attract those we are most like.
Make Your Intentions Clear
If you feel comfortable, the most effective way to find a partner who has these qualities is to be transparent by listing them on your profile. That’s because the key to finding the right person for you and your life stage isn’t getting as many Likes as possible; It’s about getting that one right Like.
2. Dating Profile Photos: Have 3 or More
Did you know that you could increase your chances of being Liked on Coffee Meets Bagel by 31 percent by uploading at least three photos? But, don’t upload just any pictures to meet the magic number. One on-point photo is still better than three snapshots of last night’s dinner.
The first photo you upload is especially important, so make sure it’s a face-forward shot of you, preferably smiling. Shielding your eyes from harmful UV rays is cool and all, but keep the sunglasses off for pictures. Same goes for hats. Check out a few of our other dating profile secrets for putting your best face forward:
Profile Photo Do’s
Upload a picture of you loving your hobbies, whether they include rock-climbing or playing with puppies at animal shelters.
Speaking of puppies, selfies with your pets are a definite “Do.”
Include tasteful full-body shots, like posing in nature.
Don’t be a catfish: Use recent images. We promise, the current you is fantastic.
Profile Photo Don’ts
Don’t upload blurry photos, including mirror selfies (especially if your Windex game is weak).
Try not to get lost in a crowd! Group photos are great for tagging friends on Facebook, but they can confuse potential matches. Is she the cute girl on the left, or the aging grandfather in the background?
Writing a profile on any of the top dating apps can be intimidating. How do you sum up your personality by answering just a few questions? The best advice: Be uniquely you. And, don’t be afraid to get specific.
While being short and to-the-point is awesome for Twitter, that isn’t the case for Coffee Meets Bagel. In fact, when we analyzed profiles of successful CMB couples (those who found someone via CMB) vs. CMB singles, the only difference we found was profile length! The top 10 percent of Liked profiles on CMB were 35 percent longer than others.
How Can I Add Length to My Dating Profile?
Profile descriptions like, “I’m adventurous,” or, “I like music,” don’t feel like they belong to a real person. Instead, be more specific, like, “I love trying out new foods at the local farmer’s market,” or, “I’m always down to go to local music shows! Lately, I’m really into indie-rock band Alexander & the Grapes.” You can see how, when you’re more specific, the length comes naturally.
An article on dating profiles in Marie Claire also advises to “keep your profile up to date” and to “Make the effort to renew your profile on a regular basis with relevant information about yourself.” Yes! We couldn’t agree more.
The point of making connections on Coffee Meets Bagel isn’t to catch ‘em all like Pokemon cards. (Plus, you’re already the very best!) It’s to get to know your matches and then meet in real life for a real date.
If you’re using top dating apps to meet real people for real dates, the best way to succeed is a long-hidden CMB secret…ask them out! OK, easier said than done. Here’s a few chat tips to spark meaningful conversation in 2019:
Ask a question. In a CMB study, we found out that when someone’ first text was a question, the response rate increased by over 20 percent — making response rates for men messaging women 75 percent and women messaging men 80 percent!
Sprinkle in some emojis. In the same study, we also found increased response rates when people used emojis in their texts.
Use CMB’s new feature that lets you send a message with your Like to hit it off from the get-go. In beta testing, members who used this feature with their potential matches had a 25 percent higher chance of getting Liked back.
5. Be Selfish
Finding the perfect partnership takes both patience and luck. Expect that you won’t find your “forever” right away, if that’s what you’re looking for. Until then, focus on yourself and the right person for you on your journey.
The “right” person for you right now might be someone who gives you butterflies, but that you aren’t ready to commit to long-term. That person might be someone you bond with over your undying love for Game of Thrones, but find you’re better off friends. That person could even be someone you meet only once at a cafe for coffee, but the conversation inspires you to try something new!
There is no wrong way to date, and every encounter can be meaningful in your journey.
Focus on the Journey
There are so many reasons why a date or a relationship might not be forever, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a “success.” By reframing dating as path to personal growth, we can discover so many new things about ourselves and our world — without the pressure to accept less than what we deserve.
CMB’s Dawoon Kang recommends exploring your own interests through dates. That cocktail-making class you’ve been dying to try? Suggest it as a first date. Or, have your date suggest something you normally wouldn’t do to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Dawoon added the following:
Having someone to do something fun with on the weekend is important, too, but I believe ultimately that what makes love so powerful is its ability to help us grow, to make us better people. We can use dating as a catalyst for our self-growth in 2019. We may not end up with that ideal relationship by the end of the year. But, we will 100 percent end up with a more fulfilled life.
Join one of the top dating apps for getting that “right” Like. Download Coffee Meets Bagel for iPhone or Android.
