Online Dating Safety Tips: 5 Ways to Spot a Scammer

June 7, 2019/in Blog, Date Tips /by Brenda Guardado

A note from Brenda Guardado, head of customer experience

Finding a good date used to be at the top of my “things I dread” list, right after public speaking and queuing at the bank. So, when apps like Coffee Meets Bagel came onto the scene, I was beyond relieved. I didn’t have to frequent loud bars, or try to recreate that rom-com scene where the woman bumps into a hunk at a supermarket and the 99-cent-oranges display goes flying.

But while coming across a good date got easier, so did coming across a less savory type: scammers.

Now as the head of customer experience at Coffee Meets Bagel, I’ve heard the happily-ever-after stories and the I-fell-for-a-scam stories. And while CMB does have technology in place to prevent scammers from joining in the first place, we can’t catch all of them by ourselves (yet).

So before you can star in your own dating app success story, check out my tips on how to stay safe.

Quick Online Dating Safety Tips

Buckle up! Safety, first. Before we hop into the five signs your match might be a scammer, check out these quick tips.

Never send money, gift cards, or account info to matches — especially if you haven’t met them in person.
Keep your exact workplace and address a secret until you’ve met in person and have built trust over time. (Some experts advise also keeping your last name private until after your first date.)
Tell your friends or family about when & where you’re meeting a match for the first time. Provide your own transportation, and always meet in a safe, public place, such as a coffee shop.

And, most importantly, if you ever feel uncomfortable or harassed when chatting with a match, stop talking to them and report them on the app. Then, block them from other messaging services if applicable. If you’re already on a date, leave immediately. Dating should never feel scary.

Signs Your Match Might Be a Scammer

Now that we’ve taken care of the crucial safety tips, you’re all set! Well, almost. I want you to spend time on matches who matter on CMB, not scammers. Here’s how to spot if your match is a scammer before you get involved.

1. They Go From 0-100

Oftentimes, scammers use artful tactics to try and sweep you off your feet. They might shower you with compliments or use flowery, romantic language right off the bat. They might give you a wholesome Disney-eqsue monologue about how they’re “just looking for love,” and “U the one 4 me, babe.” But I know you’re smarter than that, so you’ll see your match moving too fast as a red flag.

Another red flag: They’ll want to take things off the app and start texting, calling, or using other messaging apps (such as Kik, WhatsApp, or WeChat) ASAP. To cut to the chase, they may even include this contact info in their bio.

2. Their Stories Pull on Your Heartstrings

Gone are the days when all scammers were Nigerian princes. Nowadays, they’re architects, oil-rig engineers, geologists, make-up artists, nurses, and more. But one of the most common careers scammers claim to have is that of a soldier, or any career related to the military. And oftentimes they are oh-so-conveniently stationed far overseas where they can’t meet you in person.

But their real job title? A sly scammer. They may even claim to be religious (a tactic used for inspiring trust), or tell you a sob story: they’re a recent widow and their partner has passed in a tragic accident. Or, perhaps they have a sick child or parent they care for. While these unfortunate circumstances may be true for a small portion of singles involved in online dating, one of the telltale signs you’ve matched with a scammer doesn’t come until later — when they ask for your money.

3. They’re Just Too Good to Be True

If your match has profile photos that belong in a magazine catalogue, you’ve either met a model, or a scammer. And while both exist in real life (models aren’t Bigfoot, after all), it would be very unlikely for a real person not to have any casual, non-professional photos in their profile pic lineup.

In short, if your match has too-good-to-be-true photos, your match may indeed be too good to be true. But just because your match is in sweatpants in their pic (which, to be clear, is not a good dating photo best practice) doesn’t mean you’re in the clear.

Take note of other profile/photo inconsistencies. For example, if their profile says they’re 32, but they look only 22 in their picture, that’s a red flag. Likewise, if their profile claims they have a high level of education, but their grammar is disjointed, something might be up.

4. Meeting in Person Isn’t an Option

We know that the most meaningful connections happen face-to-face, so on Coffee Meets Bagel, we encourage members to meet in person. So if your match isn’t keen on meeting in real life, you should raise an eyebrow.

One of the most common excuses scammers use to avoid meeting in person is claiming that they work abroad. And if they won’t even agree to chat on the phone, you should hear alarm bells.

One way you can combat catfishing — someone pretending to be someone they aren’t online — is by fact-checking. Try running a Google reverse image search to check if they have multiple profiles under different names or with different info. Some scammers may also steal photos from influencers, low-profile celebrities, or stock sources.

5. They Ask for Money, Gift Cards, or Account Info

Lastly, and most importantly, if your match asks you for money, gift cards, or your account information, stop all communication immediately. It is extremely likely this person is a scammer.

But, it isn’t always clear right away. Many scammers will play the long-game by trying to build trust with you over time. Then, suddenly, there’s an “emergency,” and they need money quickly. Here’s a few types of fake emergencies they may claim to have:

They were robbed and need money
They have to book a last-minute business trip
They need a loan
They or their family member has a medical emergency

Sometimes, scammers may also ask for gift cards, such as an iTunes gift card. But, you should never trust a match who claims they need anything from you but your time and words, even if they promise to pay you back.

Another way a scammer might try to steal from you is less direct: by gaining access to your accounts. While some may directly ask you for your account info, routing numbers, social security number, or driver’s license info, others may be more sneaky.

If you match asks you strangely specific personal questions about old addresses, your pets’ names, or schools you’ve attended, be cautious. They could be trying to gain access to your accounts by resetting your passwords via security question answers.

How to Report a Match on CMB

If you think you’ve come across or matched with a scammer, or if your match has violated our terms of service, please report them. By reporting a scammer, you’re preventing them from scamming other lovely bagels on our app in the future.

To report a bagel in Suggested, simply tap on the flag icon in their profile. To report a bagel in Discover, submit a request.

Ready to meet someone special? Download Coffee Meets Bagel on iOS or Android.

How to Fill Out Your Dating Profile Like a Pro

May 28, 2019/0 Comments/in Blog, CMB 101 /by Paige Butterfield

A note from Paige Butterfield, senior writer at CMB

Answering the first prompt on my Coffee Meets Bagel dating profile, “I am… ,” went something like this:

“I am…always up for an adventure!” Wait, who am I kidding? I’m waiting for a burrito delivery.

“I am…optimistic!” No, no. Too optimistic. DELETE.

“I am…a writer for a living, and yet somehow filling out my CMB profile is hella difficult.”

Let’s get something straight: writing a good dating profile takes real effort. But, it also produces real results. In fact, profiles with details filled out on Coffee Meets Bagel are 50% more liked than profiles with missing details 👍💓.

But buckle up, this research is headed to party town. When the co-founders of Coffee Meets Bagel pulled the stats to figure out the difference between the profiles of people who entered a relationship through CMB vs. people who stayed single, it boiled down to one thing: their profile length.

Then again, while the research on profile length is encouraging, filling in your profile with an exposé on the plot holes in Game of Thrones isn’t going to make you more likely to land a date. (Or is it?)

Instead, follow these five simple tips to fill out your profile like a pro.

1. Think of your profile as a giant icebreaker

Brian, head of Android at Coffee Meets Bagel

Your profile details’ first job is to help you stand out from the crowd. But, it has a passion project, too: to give you and your matches something to talk about as soon as you connect.

And while Coffee Meets Bagel does give you the chance to write your own icebreakers (hidden from your profile) to start off a chat, you can never have too much to talk about. So ask, “What would I tell someone about myself to spark conversation?”

For example, instead of filling out CMB’s second prompt, “I like… ,” as “I like…plants,” you could instead write:

“I like…taking care of my indoor herb garden 🌱. I feel like a pro chef when I get to add fresh oregano to my homemade pizza! And, I’m even learning the scientific names of my plants just for fun — quiz me 🙋‍♀️!”

Now, you’re taking a potential conversation from, “So…plants,” to conversation on indoor gardens, pizza, and cooking. Worst case scenario, you partake in a playful quiz.

2. Be specific because everyone likes dogs

Audrie, senior graphic designer at Coffee Meets Bagel

Already, by approaching your profile details as one giant icebreaker, you’re on your way to success. That’s because the more specific we can get, the more our personal story will really shine against the crowd of “The Office” binge-watchers, adventure-seekers, and dog-lovers.

That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with loving dogs (and if there is, I don’t want to be right). But, instead of writing, “I am…a dog-lover,” try:

“I am…a dog parent to a bubbly corgi, Sheldon 🐶. When I’m not at the dog park with him, I’m learning how to surf.”

Not only would you be sharing your love for dogs, but I can already imagine you and Sheldon playing at the park. It feels real, and people don’t want to connect with profiles; they want to connect with people. Plus, you’re sharing an additional activity you enjoy, which could spark conversation — or even a surf date!

3. Tell ‘em what you want

Jackie, social media manager at Coffee Meets Bagel

Getting specific about what you’re looking for from the get-go might feel a little awkward. But on Coffee Meets Bagel, we give you the prompt, “I appreciate when my date… ,” because we know that being open about what you’re looking for is really important. And what you write may not attract everyone, but it will attract that right someone.

Looking for specific values, like kindness and honesty? Write it out. Is an active lifestyle or adherence to a certain diet important to you? Say so.

But, do be mindful of how you come across. It’s easy to fall into the trap of being negative on your profile, and sass like, “If you smoke, swipe left,” isn’t attractive. Instead, focus on what you are looking for. An alternative to the smoking comment could be, “I appreciate when my date…values a healthy lifestyle 🍎.”

4. Give them a chuckle

Blake, software engineer at Coffee Meets Bagel

It’s no shock that “makes me laugh” is one of both men and women’s most-asked-for qualities in a date on CMB.

But your job isn’t to make everyone laugh — it’s just to put a smile on the person that’s right for you. So, don’t worry if you aren’t a comedian, or if your knock-knock jokes are a little — or a lot — rusty. Just be yourself and don’t be afraid to get playful or show some wit when you write your profile.

Not feeling it? That’s okay, just keep it light. Skip to tip number five ✋.

5. You’re awesome, be awesome

Dawoon, co-founder and -CEO of Coffee Meets Bagel

Sometimes it feels easier to write something generic or even nothing at all because you don’t want to look like you’re “trying too hard,” or perhaps you’re afraid of rejection. I’ve been there.

Rejection hurts, so you try to mold yourself into the person that everyone will like. But by pretending to be someone that everyone likes, you won’t stand out to that person who’s really right for you.

So be authentic. Be vulnerable. Be you. Not a lot of people are brave enough to do that, so you’ll stand out like an everything bagel in a row of plain ones.

Bonus: Give your grammar a check-up

You don’t need a solid viewpoint on the Oxford comma (because let’s face it — everyone already knows it is the way of truth 😉), but for the love of all that’s good in the world, use spell check. Even better, have a friend review your profile for mistakes. You may think grammar is no big deal, but even a small typo could make you come across as careless. And you’re awesome, remember?

Edit Your Profile Details

So, you’ve got all of your profile pro tips in your noggin. Now what? It’s time to jazz up your profile to show off the true you.

To edit your profile on Coffee Meets Bagel, just tap your “profile” icon. On iOS, tap “View and edit your profile,” and then “Edit” in the top right corner. On Android, tap on the pencil icon in the bottom right corner. Here, you can switch between your photos, details, and preferences. Today, make sure you give extra attention to your details.

Deciding what to write on your dating profile, and even how to say it, is tough. But with these five tips (and maybe a burrito to get your brain working), I think you’re going to do great.

Ready to get your wordsmith on? If you haven’t already, download Coffee Meets Bagel on Android or iOS.

These 10 Dating Photo Dos and Don’ts Are Game-Changers

May 24, 2019/0 Comments/in Blog, CMB 101 /by Audrie Thompson

A note from Audrie Thompson, senior graphic designer & photographer at CMB

The other day, my friend Sarah asked me to look at her online dating profile to see if she was doing something “wrong.” Admittedly, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve been on the dating scene — but I like to think that I’ve still got it 🤷‍♀️. After all, I met my boyfriend of three years on Coffee Meets Bagel (not to mention I work there)!

Now back to Sarah’s profile. Basic info? Check. Quirky one-liners about herself? Check.

Photos? Not…so…check.

Let’s get real for a sec. Choosing your dating profile photos is no easy task. And they’re important. In fact, we know that at CMB ~80% of the reason people pass on a potential match is because of their photo.

So it wasn’t that Sarah didn’t have photos. She just didn’t have good photos. You know, the ones that showed her…for her 💗.

Here’s the insider advice I gave Sarah on the dos and don’ts of dating photos.

Dating Profile Photo Dos

Do #1: Show your face

A full-face photo is less of a dating photo tip and more of a dating photo must-have. In fact, on Coffee Meets Bagel, if you don’t have at least one photo that shows your face, we can’t approve your profile. Keep this headshot as your first photo, so your matches know what you look like from the start!

Do #2: Let the light in

Man-made light is better than no light, but natural light is basically magic. In photos, sunlight can work its wonders by highlighting your best features and making your eyes pop. Pro-tip: For the best photos, make sure the light source isn’t directly behind you. We want to light up your face ☀️!

Do #3: Share a smile

Your smile is one of your best and most telling features. Smiles radiate warmth, kindness, and positivity — all important qualities in a partner. So before you snap a photo, try flashing a natural grin. To look less posed, have a friend take your photo, but ask them to snap several action shots to capture the organic moments that lead up to the main shot.

Do #4: Show what you love to do

After you have that first face-forward headshot, you can also upload an action shot of you doing something you love — whether it’s going on an epic hike, seeing a live show, or hanging out with your pet 🐱. These photo types are perfect conversation-starters.

Do #5: Upload a full-length pic

A recent (within the last year) full-length pic gives bagels a better idea of what you look like, so upload at least one. Don’t have a tripod on hand? Grab a friend and make a day out of an impromptu photoshoot at a local park or in front of a vibrant wall. Bonus points if they have a DSLR or a great camera phone 📸.

Dating Profile Photo Don’ts

Don’t #1: Get lost in the crowd

You may think that you look best in that group photo with your best friends or family. But, how is a potential match supposed to know whether you’re the cute brunette on the left, or the dude in the howling wolf tee on the right? To make sure it’s clear who you are, leave group photos out of your profile photo line-up. Or, if you really love a certain group shot, make sure to file it last — that way there’s no mistaking who you are.

Don’t #2: Feel pressured

When it comes to dating profile photos, don’t feel pressured to look “sexy” or to show more skin than you feel comfortable with. Because believe it or not, choosing your profile photos isn’t always about finding the picture where you look the hottest or the fittest. In fact, the best photos are the ones that can give us a sense of your personality and your “vibe.”

Don’t #3: Stop at selfies

Discard the dog ears and filter #glowup pics and exchange them for photos taken by a friend in “do” tip five. Apart from the fact that selfies don’t always turn out well, the filters we like to apply to them don’t make for an accurate representation of ourselves.

Don’t #4: Hide under hats & sunglasses

Slather on the SPF 50, because the wide-brimmed hats and sunglasses have got to go (at least while you’re taking photos). Even if you think your Ray Glams make you look stylin’, photos where you have sunglasses or hats on hide what you really look like and can cast unflattering shadows.

Don’t #5: Upload ancient photos

Your potential matches aren’t interested in seeing what you looked like five years ago. So, rather than uploading photos that don’t resemble you anymore, take new ones. You want the right match to fall for the current you, not the you from junior year of high school (…unless you’re still in junior year of high school, in which case you probably aren’t old enough to be using our app!)

Selecting the Best

Now that you’ve had your photoshoot, it’s time to select your best! Choose a minimum of four photos — but, more is always better if they’re quality. It also helps to have a friend who matches your gender preference to review your picks. What we see in ourselves is not always what others see, so a second opinion can help make sure you’re putting your best face forward.

Spotlight: Profile pic superstars

Like Sarah’s best pics ended up being different than my own, so will yours. To give you a better idea of what kind of pics you should be looking for, I’ve gathered a few profile-pic superstars from Coffee Meets Bagel. Their photos radiate their warmth and positive energy — just like yours can ☀️

Daniel, Franklin, TN

Joanne, San Diego, CA

Pete, San Francisco, CA

Joy, Seattle, WA

Upload Your Photos

Feeling inspired? I hope so! Now’s your moment to upload your own photos to your Coffee Meets Bagel Profile.

To do so, just log in and tap your “profile” icon. On iOS, tap “View and edit your profile,” and then “Edit” in the top right corner. On Android, tap on the pencil icon in the bottom right corner. Here, you can choose to upload new photos, or delete and swap existing ones.

Taking and choosing your best pics can feel a little overwhelming at times. But with these 10 photo dos and don’ts, you’re already on your way to selecting photos that show off the best in you!

Ready to show off your best self? If you haven’t already, download Coffee Meets Bagel on Android or iOS.

So, It’s Your First Day on CMB? Here’s What You Need to Know

May 3, 2019/0 Comments/in Blog, CMB 101 /by Dawoon Kang

A note from Dawoon Kang, co-founder & -CEO of CMB

When I ask, “What is the first word that comes to you when you think of online dating?” The answer isn’t pretty. I hear that it’s exhausting, overwhelming, time-wasting.

And with the prevalence of swipe-based apps, I can understand why. After all, I was an active user of multiple dating apps for the past five years. And yeah — online dating sucks. So my team and I created Coffee Meets Bagel with a bold vision: to change the way singles experience online dating from “sucks” to “doesn’t suck.” In fact, we wanted to make online dating meaningful.

And to do that, we had to be different on purpose. Check out how, plus everything you’ll need to know for your first day on CMB below.

What to Expect

While social media apps, like Instagram and Twitter, are convenient tools when used purposefully, they’re also time-sucks. Infinity pools. Black holes. They’re happy to grab your attention and suck you into endless scrolling: photos of your friends’ vacations, breaking news, pop-culture trends, cats playing the piano.

And when dating apps exploded onto the scene, most of them followed this pattern. In fact, according to a recent study, more than one in 10 dating app users swipe for over 14 hours a week.

This didn’t vibe with us, so we chose a different approach.

Welcome to Slow Dating

Our “slow dating” approach emphasizes finding delight in the dating process. We pump the brakes on swiping to help you savor each meaningful connection. But this approach doesn’t take more of your time; in fact, it’s the opposite. Because we focus on quality > quantity, checking your potential matches should take just ~5 minutes per day. When you’re done, you’re done.

Plus, this approach has attracted a special kind of community. Eighty-six percent of our users are looking for long-term relationships 💖.

Checking Your Bagels

We’ll use information — like the preferences you set and who you’ve liked or passed on in the past — to curate a limited number of your best potential matches (aka bagels). Then, we send them to your Suggested section in the app just once per day.

We’ve made an app that’s free of distractions like loud colors because we want you to really focus on each bagel. Look at their photos. Get a sense of who they are in their details.

And then, before you can see your next bagel, make a decision to like or pass on them. Every time you like or pass on a bagel, we’ll learn more about you and your type, so tomorrow’s bagels will only get better.

It may even take a week to get your first match (when you like someone and they like you back). But that’s okay, too. Instead of feeling swipe-fatigue like on other apps, you can take a break and just live your life. We’ll continue working in the background to set you up with someone great.

Learnin’ the Lingo

Now that you know what to expect, let’s dive into a few terms that will help you better navigate Coffee Meets Bagel.

Bagels: What we call your potential matches (That means you’re someone’s bagel, too!)
Suggested: The section where we’ll curate a limited number of your best bagels daily around noon. These are your most compatible bagels (meaning you’re most likely to like each other!) Liking bagels in Suggested is 100% free.
Discover: The section that’s “the schmear on top,” for when you want to browse extra bagels nearby beyond our suggestions. They may not meet your preferences, but we think they could still be a good match. Use beans to like bagels in this section.
Beans: Earn or buy beans, our in-app currency, to use on special features such as liking extra bagels.
CMB Premium: Our subscription package that includes special features, like Activity Reports, which give you access to more info on bagels, like how often they send the first message; and Read Receipts, which let you know when your messages have been read.

The Next Steps

Now that you know what to expect, make sure you’ve checked these must-do’s off your list:

✔ Take and select your best pics

✔ Write a profile that reflects the true you

✔ Set your preferences and start connecting!

Lots of love and kindness to you as you embark on your dating journey! Remember: it might take time, it might feel slow, or it might even feel discouraging at times. But, I hope you savor and enjoy the process!

Excited to start matching? If you haven’t already, download Coffee Meets Bagel on Android or iOS.

5 Ladies #DaretoShare Dating Stories for Women’s History Month

March 28, 2019/0 Comments/in Blog, Stories /by Paige Butterfield

The creative team at Coffee Meets Bagel thought a lot about what we could do to highlight Women’s History Month. We considered featuring our three co-founders who started it all. Or, maybe the team of fierce women who run things behind the scenes at CMB. Perhaps we could partner with a pro female athlete and use a catchy sports idiom about women taking control of their dating life.

But then it hit us like a stale bagel. Why not just feature the women of CMB who — every day on our app — are bravely putting themselves out there? They’re letting down their walls. They’re being vulnerable. And that’s badass.

Women’s History Month With CMB: #DaretoShare

It all started with a survey (because we sort of have an obsession with surveys at CMB, especially when it comes to Women’s History Month!) We asked the women of CMB to share two things:

A time when they felt brave or confident about a decision on a date, in a relationship, or in their romantic life.
Self love affirmations that showcase their strength as a woman. We had them use one of CMB’s profile starters, “I am… .”

We received so many inspiring quotes about female strength, but we selected just 5 of our fave women to #DaretoShare their stories publicly on our Instagram. We also set them up to star in their own photoshoot hosted by Snappr — an on-demand photography service!

We’re currently still rolling out their stories on our ‘gram right now, but here’s a special early release for our best bloggies.