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Fancy a picnic? 4 Singapore spots for your next first date

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We know planning dates can be hard. Keep it casual with coffee, grab drinks after work, plan a fancy dinner? Sometimes the key is to shake things up and try something new! A way you can do that while still keeping your date simple? A picnic.

And the thing is, you don’t have to be some amazing chef who packs a whole spread for you and your date – just grab your favorite to-go orders from a place nearby! It’s pretty easy with foodpanda pick-up, even if you’re debating until the last minute about where to grab food. It’ll be ready in as fast as 10 minutes. And bonus, you don’t have to wait around in long lines, filling the time with small talk. Just pop in, grab your orders, and head out to your spot for a romantic picnic.

But where to go? We did the work for you and rounded up four picturesque spots in Singapore that make for a great picnic date with someone new.

Marina Barrage

Looking for something scenic? This spot has views of the bayfront, Gardens by the Bay, and Marina Bay Sands – perfect for a sunset picnic. And bonus, the breeze means it’s a popular spot for kite fliers, adding even more to your date backdrop. Pop over to Tim Ho Wan at Marina Bay Sands before heading there to grab some to-go pork puns or dumplings, and maybe even something sweet to split.

Changi Bay PCN

The views of Changi Bay are a great talking point when getting to know someone new. Pick up some dinner at Andes by Astons in Changi Village, pack a blanket, and plan to park at the Changi Beach car park – from there, it’s only about a five-minute walk! And if you’re not too full after eating, you can walk even farther to Changi Bay Point.

Keppel Marina East Desalination Plant

In the mood for a spot that’s less crowded? This one’s a little off the beaten path, but you’ll have skyline views that make for a great sunset date. Note that there isn’t public parking here, so you’ll have to park and walk for your picnic – the nearest car park is Fort Road. Pick up a pizza from nearby Brewerkz for a feast. Don’t forget to debate your favorite toppings.

Marina South Pier

Marina South Pier isn’t just for catching a ferry to St. John’s Island, it’s also a picturesque spot to chill out with someone new. Harry’s at Marina Link Bay Mall is close by and has platters made for sharing. Place a pick-up order on the way there so you can grab and go. Don’t forget a blanket, and watch the ships together.

Even more date inspiration

Once you’ve mastered the art of the picnic date, be sure to check out our Instagram. You’ll find more date ideas so you can expand your options, plus a ton of other dating advice.

Celebrate Pride by supporting these queer-owned date spots

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As a dating app working to give everyone a chance at love, whoever that may be with, we decided to celebrate Pride this year in one of the best ways we know how: By setting you up on great dates!

We’ve put together a list of queer-owned businesses in San Francisco, New York, and Los Angeles that are total first-date material. And hey, they’re perfect for third dates or friend outings or solo trips, too. Be sure to check them out not just this Pride Month, but all year long.

New York City

Baz Bagels

You know we had to start this list with bagels. Stop by this charming neighborhood deli in Little Italy for a casual breakfast or lunch date with some hand-rolled bagels. Might we suggest the rainbow variety?

Big Gay Ice Cream

Originally founded as a food truck by Douglas Quint and Bryan Petroff, this spot is your stop if you’re in for a sweet treat. Grab some soft serve at either one of their locations in the Upper West Side or West Village.

Odd Fox Coffee

Want to inject a little whimsy (and caffeine) into a casual date? Odd Fox Coffee has two Brooklyn locations, so take your pick and enjoy a laid-back meetup.

Elmo

Whether it’s brunch, lunch, dinner, or drinks you’re after, Elmo in Chelsea is a go-to spot for a first date. Indulge in some shareable comfort food, like deviled eggs or popcorn shrimp.

Ursula

Spice up a breakfast date at this New Mexican-inspired cafe in Crown Heights, owned by Eric See. Heads up: It’s a takeout spot with only a few outdoor seats, so maybe grab two burritos to go and enjoy a stroll with your date.

Los Angeles

Liberation Coffee House

Located at the Los Angeles LGBT Center, this bright and beautiful cafe and community center is perfect for great conversation with someone new. Fun fact: It’s run by graduates of the organization’s Culinary Arts program that helps prepare LGBTQIA+ participants for work in the restaurant and hospitality industries.

Casita Del Campo

Going out with a margarita lover? Head to this colorful local spot with a long LGBTQIA+ history for an authentic Mexican meal. Pro-tip: Don’t skip out on sharing some chips and guac.

Nickel Diner

Sometimes comfort food in a retro setting is exactly what you need for a date – and at this spot, you can split a homemade pop-tart. Co-owners Monica May and Kristen Trattner also implemented a new “Pay It Forward” program, where you can donate $13 to provide a meal to someone in need.

Little Barn Coffee House

Woman, Latinx, and queer-owned, this little coffee spot is calling your name if you’re interested in a quick drink or a lunch meetup with someone new. And bonus, it’s vegan!

Jewel

Another spot for our dairy and meat-free daters. Check out this plant-based restaurant in Silver Lake with a patio that’s perfect for good conversations.

San Francisco Bay Area

Boichik Bagel

Named after a Yiddish term of endearment for a young man, owner Emily Winston opened this bagel spot to bring a taste of her New Jersey roots to her new home on the West Coast. A great get-to-know-you question for this date: What kind of bagel would you be and why?

Third Culture Bakery

Looking for a casual spot on a beautiful day? Meet up at this counter service bakery for some matcha and mochi muffins, and enjoy them out front in their outdoor seating area.

Equator Coffees

Coffee really can be the best first date, if we do say so ourselves. Equator Coffees has several locations around the Bay Area, so you can easily find a spot that works for both you and your date.

Lion Dance Cafe

Looking for a plant-based date spot in Oakland? This casual space has rave reviews for its authentic Singaporean fare, which you can enjoy in their first-come, first-serve outdoor parklet.

Pinhole Coffee

Tea, coffee, pastries, anyone? Head to this woman, POC, and queer-owned coffee shop in Bernal Heights for a quick meetup that isn’t short on charm.

Show support this Pride and beyond

Pride Month is a great time to get out and support the LGBTQIA+ community, but don’t forget these are great date spots year-round – not just in June. And of course, this list is far from complete. So don’t hold out on us if you know about any other queer-owned spots we missed! Check out our Instagram post and drop your contributions in the comments.

15 AAPI-owned spots to support on your next date

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May is here and brings us Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. A time to celebrate diverse cultures, support our communities, and honor the contributions of Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders that have shaped who we are today. And as a company founded by three Korean sisters looking to shake up both the dating and entrepreneurial world, it holds a special place in our heart.

So in honor of AAPI Heritage Month, we’ve rounded up some AAPI-owned businesses in San Francisco, New York, and Los Angeles that you can check out on your next first date. Or third date or anniversary date, or just when you feel like getting something good.

San Francisco Bay Area

Sue’s Gallery Cafe

This mom-and-pop shop with coffee, tea, and pastries is the perfect spot for a casual coffee date. And bonus, you can browse their handmade ceramics while you’re at it.

Home Coffee Roasters

Owners Annie Cheng and In Hwan Heo know a thing or two about coffee dates, as they went on weekly ones together while dreaming of opening a shop of their own. Now, you and your date can follow in their footsteps.

FOB Kitchen

Visit this Oakland spot for delicious Filipino fare and island-inspired cocktails, brought to you by owner and chef Janice Dulce who grew up in the Bay Area and Guam and is now bringing recipes learned from her family to the public.

Cha-Ya

To our non-meat eaters, this one’s for you! Family-owned and operated in San Francisco’s Mission District, this is a great spot if you’re in the mood for Japanese cuisine that’s entirely vegan, too.

Dumpling House

Grab some Chinese bites, beer, and tea from this casual, family-owned spot – with a chef whose twenty-plus years of dim sum expertise hail from Beijing, Shanghai, and Hong Kong.

Los Angeles

B Sweet Dessert Bar

Looking for something less formal than dinner, but different from the standard coffee date? Grab something decadent, like their famous banana pudding, from this dessert bar owned and operated by Barb Batiste, who grew up baking sweets for her close-knit Filipino family.

Bopomofo Cafe

Serving Asian American cuisine, co-founders Philip Wang and Eric Wang turned to bo, po, mo, and fo, “the Chinese ABCs,” to come up with the name for their cafe. Stop by for tea, espresso, matcha, and plenty of shareables perfect for a date.

Broken Mouth

Did you know that in Hawaii, “broke da mout” is used by locals to describe food so good you don’t even have time to chew? Owner and Chef Tim Lee, Korean by blood and born and raised on Oahu, serves up homestyle Hawaiian food for Los Angeles. But if you’re on a first date, maybe try to chew a little.

Pine & Crane

Looking for a casual spot? Head over to this Taiwanese spot in Silver Lake for some staples like beef noodle soup and loose-leaf tea. Emphasis on casual, as it’s first come, first serve.

Maru Coffee

You can’t go wrong with a classic coffee date at this spot in the Arts District. The name comes from native Korean San Ma Ru, which means “mountaintop,” to symbolize their high-quality coffee, as the best beans come from high altitudes.

New York City

Kopitiam

Head to this Lower East Side spot, which means “coffee shop” in Hokkien, for a taste of Nyonya cuisine. Chef and owner Kyo Pang uses family recipes and traditions to introduce visitors to this blend of Chinese and Malay flavors.

Soft Swerve

In the mood for something sweet? Soft Swerve has two locations in NYC where you can cool off with Asian-inspired ice cream flavors like matcha and ube purple yam.

Ihawan

Take your date to try the best barbecue in town at this family-owned and operated Filipino spot in Woodside. You’ll find classic dishes from the Philippines, plus their specialty Kapampangan cuisine.

Pasteur Grill & Noodles

Looking for a spot in Chinatown? Head here for authentic Vietnamese food that’s the byproduct of generations’ worth of family recipes.

Té Company

If the casual coffee date isn’t your thing, how about tea instead? This intimate spot in the West Village has a wide variety of teas sourced from Taiwan, plus Taiwanese food to pair with it.

Let’s support our communities together

We know this list is far from complete, so don’t hesitate to branch out and find other AAPI-owned spots in your area, this May and beyond! And if you have locations in mind and want to share with others, head over to our Instagram post and drop it in the comments.

Coffee Talk

‘Coffee Talk’ gives CMB Community a place to virtually meet

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Stop us if any of this sounds familiar: You’ve recently dug up never-before-used puzzles from the games closet. Your Google search history includes “How to bake ciabatta.” And checking your phone’s screen time report? Forget about it.

At first, coronavirus was simply scary. And to be honest, it’s still scary. But with social distancing and shelter-in-place becoming the new normal, life has become a little lonely – and even boring, as well.

To combat the feelings of isolation and remind CMBers that we’re in this together (at least virtually), we’ve launched Coffee Talk: a virtual meetup with the CMB community.

Coffee Talk: conversations from the couch

Sure, we may have to be physically apart, but Coffee Talk gives CMB singles the chance to get their socialization on from the comfort of their own home – cozy slippers and glass of wine optional. 

Every Tuesday and Friday at 8 p.m. local time, we’ll be hosting virtual meetups for bagels in five major shelter-in-place cities: San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, and Washington, D.C.

How does it work?

Once each session starts, participants will be greeted by a CMB moderator. They’ll go over some ground rules and then kick things off with an initial icebreaker. 

From there, everyone will break into small groups of 6-8 people so they can have more intimate conversations. After about 20 minutes, we do a little bit of video-chat musical chairs and switch up groups, giving participants the opportunity to meet as many new people as possible. 

And while we’ll provide an icebreaker or two, anything goes for conversation – from dating during COVID-19, to your latest Animal Crossing tips and Netflix picks (“Tiger King,” anyone?)

At the end of the hour, we’ll bring all of the groups back together for some parting words. And if some CMB singles happened to hit it off, romantically or platonically, they’ll have the opportunity to exchange contact info via DM.

The buzz on Coffee Talk

We’ve hosted a few Coffee Talks so far and the response has been overwhelmingly positive: When surveyed, more than 90% of participants said they would join again. 

Many participants felt that chatting with people who are also getting used to this “weird new world” helped normalize their emotions. Hearing that you’re not alone in this feeling helps make it a bit more manageable. 

“I believe that CMB’s mission to create real connections is even more important in uncertain times like this,” says Dawoon Kang, Coffee Meets Bagel’s co-founder and -CEO. “We needed to be creative about how we can enable them to stay connected with one another in times of social distancing, shelter-in-place, and self quarantining.” 

With the news cycle constantly changing and being cut off from our normal day-to-day interactions, something as simple as a casual conversation with strangers can be the thing that turns your day around.

How do I sign up?

When you open the app on Tuesdays and Fridays before 3 p.m. local time, we’ll show an in-app announcement that will let you sign up for that night’s event. 

Remember, we’re hosting small groups to help daters really get to know one another, so that means space is limited. After signing up, be on the lookout for a follow-up email to let you know whether your spot is confirmed. If one night’s roster fills up fast, don’t let that deter you from signing up for the next one. We have plenty to talk about, so be sure to try again.

To sign up for our Coffee Talks on Tuesdays and Fridays at 8 p.m. local time, open your app (and hey, maybe check your noon bagel while you’re at it.).

 

Ready to get your virtual chat on? Download Coffee Meets Bagel to text yourself a link. Or, download CMB directly from your phone: iOS | Android

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6 Virtual Date Ideas for CMB Matches

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As social distancing and quarantine life become “the new normal,” it’s easy to feel like much of life has been “canceled.” But the good stuff in life? You can’t cancel that. Here’s a recent CMB Instagram post inspired by author Jamie Tworkowski.

You see this list? Connections fall under the “good stuff” category. In fact, we might even say they fall under the category of “really good stuff.” So, sure, in-person dates are on pause. But CMB daters like you are finding creative ways to take their connections beyond chats. If you’re interested in trying something new together, ask a match out on one of these virtual dates.

1. Keep it casual with a video coffee date

A video coffee date is the perfect twist on the common video chat. How does it work? Schedule a time to video chat (Zoom, Facetime, and Skype are all good picks) to have casual conversation over coffee.

Not a coffee fan? Tea, water, or even a glass of wine will do (just maybe not for the morning; then again, you do you). There are no hard rules that say you have to have coffee or that it needs to be the morning; it just sounds better than, “Let’s Skype.” Plus, you can fill any awkward silences with a cooler-than-cool slurp of your beverage.

2. Make a throw-back phone call

For those of us used to Zooming, a phone call may seem a little…antiquated. But you heard it here first: phone calls are in. We won’t tell you how it works because we all know how to dial a number – and that’s the best part. It’s painfully simple, and there’s no need to find your best first-date outfit (because amid COVID-19 we all know it’s at the bottom of your laundry pile).

If you’re interested in talking on the phone but not so sure about giving out your phone number, consider using free-call services like Google Voice or Kakao Talk.

Pro Tip: Worried about carrying the conversation? Have a box of table-top cards on hand like the Icebreaker deck from Best Self Co to get things going. Just make sure you tell your date you’re bringing them out before you start the question party.

3. Challenge your match to a game night

Sometimes a little flying blue shell is what you need to spark chemistry. If you and your match are both into games, challenge them to a game night. Multiplayer and co-op videogames such as Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Castle Crashers, and Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime are guaranteed fun.

But if you don’t have any gaming systems on hand, there’s no need to buy one just for virtual dates. Mobile games like Words With Friends can be a lot of fun, too, as well as the traditional Battleship (if you both have the boardgame), Pictionary, or a casual 20 Questions.

4. Try something new with an online museum tour

There’s a certain kind of person who prefers museum and gallery dates to a casual cup of coffee. If that person’s you, don’t fret over the “closed” signs. Google’s got your back with virtual museum views, and there’s always The Smithsonian’s Museum of Natural History. Share a screen via video chat and explore the secrets of Stonehenge, or take turns pretending you’re the tour guide by making up backstories for exhibits.

If a museum tour just isn’t your thing, the Metropolitan Opera is presenting live streams of performances as well for the near future. Looking for something a little more…exotic? It’s a date: tune in at 3 p.m. EDT for “Home Safari Facebook Live,” where the Cincinnati Zoo will share an (albeit sometimes shaky) stream of one of their zoo animals.

These experiences may not be the right virtual date for every match, but if you’re both down to try something new – it’s worth a shot.

5. Stream movies with Netflix Party

Netflix and Chill is canceled for the near future, but Netflix Party is fair game. With Netflix Party, you can synchronize video playback and group chat while you watch your favorite Netflix TV shows and movies. Swap witty commentary, or simply sit back and watch something together to discuss afterward.

Even better: Use Netflix Party to stream Bandersnatch – an interactive “choose your story” film – and take turns deciding (or debating) where the story goes.

6. Get creative with a recipe swap

Let’s be real, watching people eat over video chat isn’t the sexiest date. But, there are still a few ways to bond over a meal that are a smidge cuter. Enter, the recipe swap. To start a recipe swap, ask your match about their favorite recipe. Then, give them yours. On your own time, or via video chat if you both have ingredients available, get to cooking and see how it turns out. Take your first bite via video chat to see immediate reactions.

Fridge looking grim? Play a virtual version of “Chopped” – the show where chefs are put head-to-head to see what meal they can come up with using limited ingredients. Better yet, share pantry lists and have your match choose the ingredients for you.

Wishing for more virtual date ideas?

If you’ve exhausted this list of virtual dates and you’re looking for more, stay in the loop on our Instagram. There, we’ll post more tried and true digital dates, as well as tips for dating during COVID-19. Feel free to drop a comment or DM us about your experience – we’d love to hear from you about what’s working (and what’s not) when it comes to dating during coronavirus.

Looking for someone to test out these virtual date ideas with? Download Coffee Meets Bagel to text yourself a link. Or, download CMB directly from your phone: iOS | Android

Get It Together, Boston!

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What do you do when a relationship book deal is on the line and your boyfriend dumps you?
How fast can you learn the sacraments before a blind date?
What happens when your speeddating event is in a lumber yard and your date’s dance moves are the kind you pay for?
These and many more are the questions posed when dating in Boston, at least in Get It Together. But against all odds, four friends try to write dating research worth publishing!
Please join us on January 14th for this epic (and FREE!) event at the Regent Theatre. It’s going to be a fantastic night of local Boston Filmmakers screening some wonderful work and of course, a dating film to end all dating films.
Artists featured on the bill include:
FRANKIE FRAIN, GEOFF TARULLI, PAUL TURANO, KAREN GEROFSKY, MATTHEW HASHIGUCHI, JAN ROBERTS-BRESLIN, BILLY PALUMBO, JEREMY LATOUR and SHAUN CLARKE.
Can’t wait to see you there, popcorn at the ready! Find more details on FACEBOOK and check out our trailer below!
See you at the movies, Boston daters/film appreciators!

If you liked this post, check out The Problem with Choice.

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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11 (and a half) Haunted Houses to Take Your Date this Halloween

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Halloween is THE perfect time to take your date out. Especially to haunted houses. The kind that have ridiculous, bloody humans. And monsters that jump out at you. Why? Because of one simple reason: people cling together for dear life when they’re scared! And yes, it may be a “cheap” trick but hey, you can’t say it doesn’t work! It’s a guaranteed hug-fest when it comes to haunted houses! Here are 11.5 date-worthy places across the U.S to take your plus-one this Hallows Eve!
1. NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (HUDSON SQUARE)
Haunted Houses to Take Your Date
COST: $30 + Handling Fee, $35 CASH At the Door (There’s also a student discount available!)
DATE WORTHY: There are not one, not three, but SIX Chambers of Horror (The Crypt, Thunderdome, The Wake, Mayhem!, Maggot Invasion, Hannibal’s Hell) in Blood Manor which means you get to scare your date 6 times the amount. Hopefully, she’s still with you by the end of Chamber Six.
2. SAN LEANDRO, CALIFORNIA Haunted Houses to Take Your Date
COST: $25 for General Admission (2 haunted houses & concerts!), $35 for Fast Pass
DATE WORTHY: Featured on KRON4 & ABC, this is a ScreamPark packed with Haunted Houses, concerts, food & drinks! Sounds like a promising Halloween event to take your date, don’t you think?
2.5. SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA
Haunted Houses to Take Your Date
COST: SOLD OUT!
DATE WORTHY: This is the half of the haunted house- the 0.5 of the 11 total haunted houses mentioned here. Why? Because it is COMPLETELY sold out. And why am I mentioning this? Because it’s the first of it’s kind: a BDSM- inspired haunted house located in the Mission District in the World’s LARGEST Porn Castle (What?! Yes, I know this is SO San Francisco) and it is awesome.
3. LONG BEACH, CALIFORNIA (On an actual ship, what?! That’s awesome!)Haunted Houses to Take Your Date
COST: $20 for Happy Hour (To get a little tipsy before you get the bejeezus scared out of you) General Admission: $24
DATE WORTHY: This ship is full of freaks, weirdos, and to top it all off- a ringmaster is your host for the night!
4. AURORA, ILLINOIS
Haunted Houses to Take Your Date
COST: $18 General Admission, $25 Combination Ticket (Basement of the Dead, Shattered 3D) *Cash Only at the Door! Shattered 3D is more of a show/story about an evil clown who smashes things!
DATE WORTHY: The main attraction: a mutilated father and son duo who seem to be stealing employees from an old laundry factory. No big deal. Just your average sliced, burned, cut up people living under an abandoned building.
5. WASHINGTON, DC
Haunted Houses to Take Your Date
COST: $30 General Admission, $45 Speed Pass
DATE WORTHY: All you need to know: a ton of missing children and a 50,000 sq ft. horror house. Enjoy!
6. ABINGTON, MASSACHUSETTS
Haunted Houses to Take Your Date
COST: $23 for ALL attractions, $3 OFF coupon availble online (HOORAY!)
DATE WORTHY: What’s cool is that they change around their monsters EVERY night! So, theoretically if you took your date here every day of the week, you’d see something different every time!
Side Note: even if you think standing outside of the haunted mansion is safe, it’s not. There are roamers all around. Dun Dunn Dunn!
7. DORAL, FLORIDA
Haunted Houses to Take Your Date
COST: $25 for regular days, $35 concert days ($2 OFF coupon online)
DATE WORTHY: With 30+ haunted rooms, park rides, and music, your date is sure to have a screamin’ good time at the amusement park! And be warned, since it is an amusement park…clowns will be present!
8. NORCROSS, GEORGIA
Haunted Houses to Take Your Date
COST: $22 Weekdays, $25 Fridays, Saturdays $28 for Season of the Witch & Spliced.
DATE WORTHY: This year the theme is Season of the Witch! There is an additional haunted house name Spliced for an additional cost.
Fun Fact: The Walking Dead cast visited this Haunted House!
9. GLENN MILLS, PENNSYLVANIA
Haunted Houses to Take Your Date
COST: $20 for the Hayride, $15 for Bates Motel, $15 for Cornmaze $40 for All Three Attraction.
DATE WORTHY: Ah, the infamous Bates Motel…so, it looks like you and your date have some options here: an effortless hayride, a traditional haunted house, or get lost in a cornmaze. The options are up to you and how scared YOU’RE going to be!
10. SEATTLE, WASHINGTON
Haunted Houses to Take Your Date
COST: $20 General Admission, $30 VIP
DATE WORTHY: Just an FYI, this is a REAL morgue (super creepy!). Be prepared for bloody floors, funeral preparations, and seeing crematorium chambers.
11. HOUSTON, TEXAS
Haunted Houses to Take Your Date
COST: $25 Online, $29 at Door $29 Online Fast Pass, $37 At Door
DATE WORTHY: There are a total of 5 attractions for Scream World and it covers every. single. fear from slaughter houses to clowns to zombies, to maniacs. This one is terrifying because it’s a cohesive walk through that is both indoors and outdoors!
Happy Halloween Dating! And remember: Fear Brings People Together!
If you liked this post, please check out our other Halloween Post: The Secret Dating Profiles of the Sanderson Sisters!

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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The Simulacra, Simulation and the Pseudo-reality of Online Dating

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There are three films in the past twenty years that a great many of you have probably seen. Those are The 13th Floor, The Matrix and Inception. Yet even if you have seen these films, you may not know who Jean Baudrillard is, though you should. His essay on the Simulacra and Simulation is the foundation for their plots- some with direct references, others without. All have the simulation of reality as the cornerstone for their story’s success. All three are strikingly similar to one another in this regard and the ways they achieve an alternate reality, and (important for us) all have me thinking about online dating.
In 1981 Jean Baudrillard released his Simulacra and Simulation, the crux of which (if you HAD to put it in a nutshell) was that there is a transformation of symbols or signs of objects in which they begin as a direct representation of an object- the word Apple actually representing an apple, for example- and change until they are so far removed from what they actually represent that in fact a new reality is formed and understood, made entirely of simulations. The real, as it was understood, becoming obsolete. His steps to break this down are essentially this:

  1. The first stage is a definitive copy of an original where both the replication and the original reality are distinct and distinguishable from one another. The word Apple is distinguished from our image, our taste of an apple.
  2. The second stage is a distortion of reality where the sign no longer points to a reality properly, but rather hints at a false reality that it cannot actually represent.
  3. The third stage we lose site of the original reality completely, as signs pretend to replicate reality but in fact no longer have an original reality to point to. The signs make claims to be something- The word Apple pretending to represent an apple- but we no longer have a relationship to what an apple is. Only the word for it. Only a reference to something else.
  4. The fourth stage is pure simulation, where there is no relationship to any kind of original reality at all. Signs only are references to other signs. Apple as we know it is only a kind of fruit is a kind of food is something we eat. But we don’t know what a real apple is. Our lives have become established on such artificial terms, that the language is entirely understood based on artificial connections and devoid of original meaning.

With this in mind, what I’m posing to you is this: Are we traveling towards an ultimate simulation in which the aspects of online dating no longer have anything to do with what we often refer to as real life dating? Are we creating a new dialogue in which the language for that particular reality hasn’t yet been written because it has not broken ties with symbols associated with “real life”? I think it’s totally possible and also unavoidable.
With all of our avatars currently existing as a representation of the self, is it responsible then to guess that the realm of dating is tip-toing a line that eventually will take the entire experience out of reality as we know it and fully into an online existence? A reference for a reality of self that is rapidly losing its original meaning?
If you think about it, you currently have a profile, the amount of truth in it is to a large degree fully up to you. There are no reality police in online dating. Your representation of self is comprised of a number of pictures that are a self-perceived representation of not necessarily your personality, but more so the personality you are hoping to project in an online pre-relationship stage. So at this stage, the “you” that you know is already a compacted, simplified version of the You that those who know you in what we’ll call “real life” are familiar with. Let’s break a relationship down into 3 stages:
Courtship
Initial Dating
Relationship
We are currently at a moment in time in which only the first of these three stages, Courtship, has begun its transformation from an original “real life” occurrence to one that now is capable of happening with avatars. The other two, Initial Dating as well as Relationship may have elements that we associate with technology such as talking on the phone or skyping etc, but to a degree they still require face-to-face interaction to sustain themselves. But my guess is as we continue to accept the degree to which an online profile is an accepted representation of the self, we are allowing for more wiggle room for the other two areas of a relationship to transform the meaning or sign of “Relationship” from the understanding we now have into a definition we currently reserve for “Interaction”.
The word or sign “Relationship” currently has in large part expectations of romantic interactions, and as of right now our mental reference for it also includes personal, face-to-face meetings. But if we are headed in a direction in which not only actions but also intentionality can be imitated online via representation of the “self” real or unreal through avatars, am I really that far off-base in thinking that in the not so distant future we are going to be looking at relationships that exist entirely in an online forum? I’m not talking about a video game that you play with a person you don’t know where one of you is a “wife” and the other can be a “husband”. I’m talking about no longer differentiating that relationship as different from your mom and dad’s, or your brother and his boyfriend. I’m talking about the word relationship no longer referencing something outside of a computer. And if that’s the case, what does that mean for the meaning of the term, the sign “Relationship”? Are we going to be able to the choose the kind of relationship reality that we would like to have? One requiring physically meeting someone vs only knowing them through an online persona? Or will we forget at some point that that used to be something real? What will “Real” be in the future?
Maybe  “Reality” will be another criteria to choose on your profile. Perhaps it is as Baudrillard implied that only by reaching the understanding that there is no real then we reach the truth- the Simulacrum. But I’m not particularly looking forward to it, myself. Chris Impicciche, a friend of mine, made a great short film called Save State about the transition from a gaming desktop computer perspective. It seems entirely relevant now more than ever.

If you liked this post, go check out A Boy Named Boob.

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.
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While You Wait for Mr. Right

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When you find yourself throwing a Saturday night pity-party because you don’t have Mr. Right knocking on your front door holding a bouquet — here are some things you can do instead.


Get off Social Media
Scrolling through pictures of babies, engagement rings, and first-looks are just going to fuel bitterness and jealousy.  Your friends aren’t going to stop having adorable families anytime soon, so if you can’t handle the feed, get off the network and remove yourself from the situation.
Do this: Delete the app

Hang out with your favorite married couple
I had the pleasure of spending last weekend with one of my favorite married couples.  You know the type I am talking about — the couple that enjoys each other’s companionship so much that they actually make marriage look fun. Spending time with them reminds me that there is no rush when it comes to finding my ‘perfect’ fit and gives me hope for what the future holds. I am so excited to find someone to adventure through life with, and I’ll wait another 26 years for that person if it means holding out for my best friend.
Do this: make a phone call

Pick a passion
The fact that you have the time and energy to even worry about dating, means you’re in the top 1%. Some people are too busy trying to survive to daydream about what flowers make the best centerpieces. Find a cause you are passionate about and get involved! Animal rescues, homeless shelters, mentorship, etc. Research NGO’s and find opportunities for volunteering, fundraising, or simply donating financially. The less time you spending thinking about yourself, the better you’ll feel.
Research this: charity: water / First Descents / Volunteer Match

Drink a bottle of wine
Because we all know that when you’re in a relationship you have to do sharsies.
Drink this: One Hope Wine

Bake cookies
I don’t know when the tradition of baking cookies for significant others started, but let’s spread the love to family, friends, and co-workers. My sister occasionally sends me a box of homemade cookies from Montana, and it never fails to make my day. Make someone else’s day by surprising them with cookies! No reason required.
Bake this: Cake mix cookies

Figure out how to use a Dyson vacuum
I don’t mean this in a sexist, women-need-to-be-in-the-kitchen kind of way. I just mean if you’re really looking to kill an evening, this is a good way to do it. It took me an hour to vacuum my room last night because there are more gadgets and buttons on a Dyson than my MacBook. I am a web-developer, which means I am usually pretty good about figuring out how things work — but dammit Dyson, you win.
Read this: Manuals

Get a promotion
Focus on changing your job title instead of your last name. Spend some free time learning a new skill or establishing new relationships in your industry. Being single is a great time to dive into your career. This might mean taking a weekend course or going to a conference. Besides, you never know who you might meet!
Do this: Join a meetup in your industry

Go out with Mr. Wrong
You won’t know he’s not Mr. Right unless you go out with him. However, once you do realize he’s not right for you, there is no need to continue seeing him. I am a huge supporter of dating (online or offline). It’s a great way to get to know yourself and meet new people. But don’t do it out of loneliness. It’s not healthy for you or fair to the other person.
Download this: Coffee Meets Bagel

Get Healthy
Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically — get yourself in a good position so when you do meet someone, you won’t start a relationship with loads of emotional baggage.
Do this: join workout class / seek counseling / meditate / register for a race

Have other ideas or resources you’d like to share? I’d love to hear them!
Tweet at me (and make it a good hashtag!) // @leah_schuster 

If you liked this post, check out 10 Things I Learned from Online Dating

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Five Creative & (almost!) Free Date Ideas

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The art of the first date is a fragile endeavor, and few people embark upon it with success.
First impressions matter, and there are a million factors that can make-or-break an initial meet up. If you’re looking to solidify a connection, it’s important to pick an environment and activity that will allow both of you to be yourselves—relaxed and at ease.
I’ll be honest: I hate the typical meal-or-coffee thing. It’s too much pressure. I feel stressed to be consistently witty and charming, and to balance an equal measure of talking about myself with asking questions. Can you tell I’m an over-thinker? That leads to awkwardness, which leads to more over-thinking, which leads to more nerves. And on, and on, and on. It’s a vicious cycle.
Not to mention, if you’ve been cruising the dating scene for a while, there’s a good chance you’re hurting for cash. When you’re looking to make a good impression, it can be daunting to plan a date on a budget.
Don’t you worry, though, Grasshopper. Here are five great options for a creative and fun experience that won’t burn a hole through your wallet.

1. Breakfast (or Brunch!)

Ok, maybe it seems like I’m reneging on my “no-meals” rule. I promise, I’m not. Breakfast is the exception.
I like breakfast dates for several reasons. For one, it’s fun. Who doesn’t love breakfast? It’s early, so you’re probably awake and refreshed—rather than bogged down from a day full of work and meetings. If possible, choose a place with a nice outdoor patio. Fresh air is calming, and you can always fall back on people-watching when conversation lulls.
Plus, breakfast is a pretty accommodating meal for people with dietary restrictions. Most breakfast spots have great options for vegetarians and those sensitive to gluten. And to top it off, breakfast is generally more budget-friendly than other meals.
Word to the wise: Only choose a breakfast date if you’re both morning people. I’ve heard disaster stories of anti-morning folks attempting this. Needless to say, it was a flop. If your bodies natural rhythms aren’t going to cooperate, avoid this at all costs.

2. Improv

 Take to the interwebs and do a quick Yelp search for a local improv show in your town. If you do your research, you should be able to find something free, or less than a general admission movie ticket.
I can personally vouch for this date. I went to a show with a guy I had almost no chemistry with, and the performer were—ahem—not the world’s best talent. Regardless, we had a blast. It took the pressure off of us and allowed us to connect through laughter (because improv is still enjoyable when the performers blow it!)
Word to the wise: Most shows have some sort of appropriateness rating available. Try to avoid anything over PG-13. Those kinds of jokes can be too much for a first date.

3. Farmers Market

One thing I dislike about the typical meal date is being glued to my seat. When I am nervous, I am fidgety.
The nice thing about heading to a local farmers market is the ability to stay moving, which releases all those jitters. There is a ton to see and explore, and endless possibilities for conversation starters. It’s also a great opportunity to try new things together, and many farmers markets have some kind of music or live entertainment. Boom.
Plus, who doesn’t like supporting their local community?
Word to the wise: This is an especially great first date if you already attend your farmers market regularly and know a few vendors. Having established friendships and knowing who has the best produce in your neighborhood will seem super charming.

 4. Dollar Movie Theater (Mystery Science Theater Style)

Now, before you assume this is tacky—let me explain. Movie dates can be uncomfortable, because you’re sitting next to a stranger in silence for at least two hours. That’s fine if the movie turns out to be good. But if the movie blows, it’s a recipe for disaster.
Instead, pick out a show together at the local dollar theater. Try to pick something that looks particularly awful, that’s also been out for quite some time. You want the theater as empty as possible.
Then, during the film, you both have freedom to talk. You can crack jokes and criticize the acting all you want. The lighthearted experience is a great means to feel comfortable around each other, and build an actual bond.
Word to the wise: This might not be the best option for two introverts, or for those folks who very passionately hold an anti-talking-in-movies policy.

 5. Geocaching

It’s time for a treasure hunt! What could be better for a first date than a little bit of teamwork and adventure?
If you’re unfamiliar with geocaching, let me explain: Geocaching in a real-life treasure hunt. Around the world, there are millions (yes, millions!) of active geocache locations. Participants mark the coordinates of hidden treasure using a GPS device, and everyone who visits a cache has the opportunity to take something and leave something behind. (To be fair, be prepared to leave something that is of equal/greater value to that which you take.)
If you have a smartphone, there are plenty of great geocaching apps available for download. These will help you pick an adventure, navigate to your destination, and give you clues to help you figure out where the treasure is hiding.
The best part? Every cache has a logbook for you and your date to sign—leaving a legacy of your first date. (Imagine coming back a year later and re-signing!)
Word to the wise: Warn your date to wear comfortable clothes and good shoes. These adventures can lead you to unexpected places. Be prepared.
(For more information, visit the official Geocaching website.)

Did you enjoy this post? Why not check out another post by Erika, on setting expectations in a new relationship, or visiting her blog at The Trees Will Clap. (And don’t forget to share it on Facebook!)

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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