I had the great good fortune to go see Beyonce and Jay-Z on the “On the Run” tour this August in San Francisco and I feel confident saying my life will probably never be the same. Besides being a lot of fun, putting on a great show, and showcasing a lot of talent, it really did make me think about love and partnership– for Beyonce and Jay-Z, for me, for all of us. Here are the life-long lessons I took from OTR.
1. Marriage seems hard.
“Loved you more than ever/ More than my own life/ The best part of me I gave you/ It was sacrificed” — Resentment
“Nothing’s perfect, but it’s worth it after fighting through my tears/ And finally you put me first”– Love on Top
Every marriage must have a lot of issues. I’m not saying I didn’t realize marriage was hard work before I went to this concert. Obviously, this wasn’t just a Bey/Jay fueled revelation for me that everybody else figured out in second grade. It seems like some of the things that complicate a marriage should be made easier by their superstardom– Bey and Jay are probably not worried about month-to-month finances, for example, or whose turn it is to take out the trash. But when you make a commitment to stay married to someone you try to stay married to someone forever. That’s the hard part. Forever, as in, all of the days of your life. Yes, duh, we all know this. But if it’s hard for Beyonce and Jay-Z, with all the resources in the world, you better believe it’s going to be hard for you. It is hard to love someone for a really long time when you don’t have to, you just want to. Bottom line: You’re going to have to make a choice to stay with your someone– even your “perfect” someone. You may have to make that choice every damn day.
2. Every single person on the planet has insecurities, even Beyonce.
“We try to fix something but you can’t fix what you can’t see/ It’s the soul that needs the surgery” — Pretty Hurts
“I just wanna be the kinda girl you like” — Partition
You guys, EVEN BEYONCE HAS INSECURITIES. Holy crap, have you seen her ass? That ass is better than all other asses. How could someone with that ass, and that voice, and that face, ever feel like she needs to pander to any man– even Jay-Z? There’s no way Beyonce should feel insecure– and neither should you. Or rather: know that we all feel it. And if we all feel it, that means that it can’t really be all that important. Bottom line: Remember that every person on the planet is insecure about something. Don’t let that dictate your choices. Get out there in that ass-less body suit and do yo’ thing.
3. Nothing is sexier than doing what you love most and in being confident in yourself while doing it.
“In the darkest night hour/ I search through the crowd/ Your face is all that I see/ I’ll give you everything” -XO
Partnership is sexy. And it really seemed like this was a true partnership for both of them. The entire concert was structured around the two of them as a couple– professionally, personally, even fictionally (for the Bonnie and Clyde set up). I can only imagine what kind of turn on it must have been for each of them to see the other completely in his and her own element, doing what they love the most. That kind of personal strength is just about the sexiest thing on the planet. Bottom line: Find and follow your passion. This will always make you sexy.
4. Heartbreak can creatively fuel you.
“You’re all my nights, don’t know what to do/ I can’t get no rest, can’t get no sleep” -Mine
First of all, I’m not going to speculate on whatever may be happening in the Carters’ marriage. (But I will say that I don’t want to live in a world where they’re not married, so figure it out, kids.) But so many of Bey’s songs in her last album touched on troubles or heartbreak or pain that it’s not a leap to assume that these are real feelings she’s gone/is going through– and she’s using them to fuel herself in the most productive way possible. Having gone through a recent heartbreak, one of those awesome “can’t sleep/can’t eat/convulsive cry when a stupid Katy Perry song comes on the radio and then all of a sudden you’re crying because you’re the type of woman who cries at Katy Perry songs, oh my God, no,” I know that the creative potential of pain is not what you’re thinking about when you’re hurting. But if everything in life were smooth sailing, where would be the creative spark for anything? Bottom line: It didn’t kill you and you will be stronger for it. Try to use it to push yourself.
5. When all else fails, dance.
“Up in the club, we just broke up/ Doing my own little thing” – Single Ladies
Shake your ass and have a good time because what else are you gonna do? In love, out of love, try to have a good time with yourself. I dance like Elaine from Seinfeld, little kicks included, but I give no shits because I dance for myself and not because I’m trying to be sexy. Dancing is about how you feel and not how you look– although Queen Bey looked damn good doing it. Bottom line: No regrets about pulling out my ass-shakin’ moves at this concert because it was so damn fun.
An extra thing I learned: A $50 tee-shirt is not, in fact, a rip off when it brings you immense amounts of joy. It’s also not a rip-off when you figure out a way to wear it under a blazer to work every week.
The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Alina Polishuk
Robin Williams, as we know, was a man of many talents. In one movie the actor and comedian would have us doubled over with tears of laughter, the next, he could have us weeping with tears of sympathy. Though his death last week is shrouded by tragedy, Williams’ legacy will not only live on through his work, but also through the messages his caricatures left in our minds. Here are a few classic Williams moments that taught us essential lessons about love, relationships, and life.
1. Always be ready to go when your date arrives
2. Always try to make a good first impression
3. …So protect your best pick up lines with your life
4. First dates can be fun! …Sometimes
5. Love can be found in the most unusual places
6. And if you really like someone, don’t beat around the bush
7. Life can feel full of gloom after a bad break up
8. But, fear not. Once you find someone new you’ll feel something like this:
9. But most importantly, don’t hesitate to make the first move, text back right away, or tell her/him “I love you.” Life is short, so seize the day.
Rest in peace, Mr. Williams. We thank you for your lessons, in both love and life.
Enjoyed this post? Then be sure to check out our piece on Dating Lingo For Dummies!
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.
The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Bronson Farr
Buzzfeed Community member Chris Melberger shows us how love can be scary, but in a cute-pranksterish type of way. Melberger created three scare cam compilations of him catching his girlfriend off guard, who in turn is easily scared. Although there is a lot of screaming involved, these two could easily win the cutest couple of the year (well they have in my book, anyway).
The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Travis Noddings
If the internet were to represent a typical human brain, with its varied neurons (webpages), axons (links), and synapses (social media), Tumblr would be the lobe soaking in gin and juice.
Free of inhibitions, posting wildly at all hours of the night, the people on this popular blogging site often say what the rest of us are too sober to think of—and what results is pure genius.
Here are the 8 most inspiring, hilarious, and ridiculous Tumblr posts on love and dating!
1) A fool-proof plan
2) Sympathy becoming the new sexy
3) This treasure-hunting adventurer
4) Bursting some age old gender bubbles
5) When Instinct Takes Over
6) Prepping for the big event
7) But then you find a love that’s timeless…
8) …and you never want to let it go
With these smooth criminals as our teachers, only one question remains:
The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Alina Polishuk
When watching any movie involving romance, it’s easy to scoff into your popcorn and say something along the lines of, “Puh-lease. That relationship is so unrealistic!”
While this may be true of most fantasy inducing scenes and happy-ending tales of love, some on-screen romances that seem absurd at first glance actually prove themselves to be relatable upon some… “deeper analysis.”
Ah yes, your eyes first met across the desks of Mrs. Jefferson’s 4th grade classroom. By recess you had decided you would hold hands, and by lunch you were boyfriend and girlfriend. Suzy and Sam’s relationship in Moonrise Kingdom might be a little bit more complex than your first romantic encounter, but their charming naivety and steadfast dedication to each other is certainly reminiscent of your adorable puppy love.
“Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl does not.” So goes the tale of unrequited love: the relationship that will simply never be because feelings are simply not mutual. No modern account of love mirrors this sad situation more perfectly than 500 Days of Summer, a sweet flick that looks like a rom-com but is actually a horror story.
The Love that was Always There
A list involving romantic movies wouldn’t really be complete without the Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan classic, When Harry Met Sally. You know that girl that you always viewed as just a friend? The girl that you could talk to about your exes, and watch Game of Thrones with, without it getting weird during the R-rated scenes? Well, maybe one day, you guys just looked at each other and realized that your long-lasting friendship should be more than just that.
You and this past partner were polar opposites and maybe even despised each other… Until you realized that opposites attract. No movie encapsulates this highly emotional strand of love better than the Woody Allen classic, Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Two-thirds of a threesome, the temperaments of artists Maria Elena and Juan Antonio go together like water and oil, but amidst the turmoil lies a magnetic kind of passion. While this is perhaps not the longest-lasting relationship, chances are all of the “feels” you had for it’s duration it took up more than a few pages in your diary.
Friends with Benefits Love
Ah yes, the friends with benefits kind of love. You were always been super chill with this person, be it hanging out and watching movies together or getting beer drunk with your friend group down at O’Malleys. Until one night you had a pint too many and ended up in bed together. Instead of making it awkward, you two decided to roll with it. This person is fun, unattached, and also kinda cute. And that is why it’s love.
Long Distance Love
This one is hard, and many people would rather sacrifice a relationship than go through a long distance romance. But to those of you who have chosen to test love’s international boundaries, you can probably relate to the heart-wrenching trials that quirky Jacob and adorable Anna have to endure in the indie-flick, Like Crazy.
Maybe you met this person online, or maybe you’re just too shy to talk to her in person. But regardless, your romance takes place mostly through the Facebook, Snapchat, or text. It’s hard for this relationship to feel sustainable, when the object of your affection is far or maybe unattainable in real life. While we are a far cry from dating our computers, Her, which follows Theodore as he falls madly in love with his quick-witted personal operating system, Samantha, reminds us that love doesn’t always have to be tangible.
There are probably hundreds of movies out there about forbidden love (from Twilight, to Avatar, to Pocahontas), but there is no tale more classic than Romeo+Juliet. Baz Luhrmann’s colorful 1996 Shakespeare adaptation starring youngsters Leo DiCaprio and Claire Danes will tear your heart out, and make you reminisce about the time you dated a boy from the rival high school. Relatively comparable stories, right?
This guy was supposed to be your rebound, supposed to be your filler date, or supposed to be… the subject of an article you were writing? Regardless of what the original situation was, you fell for this person when you really didn’t expect it. In the chick-flick classic, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Andie and Ben each had an agenda when beginning the relationship, but their eventual feeling for each other are, of course, a pleasant surprise.
We’ve all been through the relationship ringer at some point or other. Perhaps it’s infidelity, perhaps it’s an identity crisis, or perhaps it’s just realizing your partner isn’t actually “the one.” But this true love came in and swept you off your feet, right when you decided you had given up on relationships forever. This person loves you “just as you are” (*swoon*), the way Mark Darcy loves Bridget in the relatable classic, Bridget Jones’ Diary.
Enjoy this post? Then you’ll love reading about the 9 stages of falling in love! AboutCoffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.
The following article is a guest post, courtesy of Alina Polishuk
Coffee Meets Bagel staffers Andrew and Alina sit down to talk about dating online from a guy’s perspective. Andrew offers online dating tips to ladies looking for love, talks about “provocative” pictures, being catfished, and more!