9 Truths of a Perfect First Kiss

The first kiss is often unpredictable. When is the right time? Should it be a light kiss or a deep one? Do I need to ask for permission?
The fact of the matter is that there is no right or wrong answer. Men and women often want different things – romantically speaking here. But we can never be so sure. We decided it was time to take this matter into our own hands and ask our CMB members what they look for in a first kiss. What we found? The perfect first kiss isn’t so different for everyone after all…

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a dating app designed with women in mind. Founded by 3 sisters in 2012 in NYC, CMB aims to deliver a fun, safe, and quality dating experience that results in meaningful relationships.

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How To Strike Up a Conversation and Keep Her Engaged

This week I am going to answer a very common question that a lot of guys have around small talk.

When I first meet someone, it seems the natural thing to do is engage in some “small talk” (what do you do, where do you work/study, etc.) to establish some kind of grounds for a conversation. But some girls will be immediately turned off by “small talk,” or will share a minimal amount making it harder to extend the convo to something deeper. I would love to be the kind of person that can strike up a conversation with any girl about anything and keep them engaged.

Today, we are going to work through it and break it down step-by-step. Let’s take a look at the second half of the question first:

I would love to be the kind of person that can strike up a conversation with any girl about anything and keep them engaged.

So, who is the kind of person that can strike up a conversation about anything and keep them engaged? I would bet that kind of person is:

  • Experienced in conversation
  • Has tested different ways of making small talk more exciting and engaging
  • Interested in the person they are talking to, and curious to learn more about them.

How do you become this person? Testing and practice. That’s it. We are going to look at the best ways to test and improve small talk today. I’ve also included a free guide to “Becoming The Guy that can Strike up a Conversation with any Girl and Keep them Engaged.” So be sure to grab that at the end of the post.

Meeting a cute girl when I was out on a bike ride, and then totally ruining everything.

A few months ago I was going for a bike ride along a trail here in Denver. The trail runs through the central part of the city so there are always a lot of people on it every day.
I was coming back from my awesome bike ride while listening to one of my favorite podcasts (probably either Lewis Howes or Tim Ferriss), and I got off the trail and onto one of the main roads at a stop sign.
While I was waiting for the cars to go by, a pretty girl pulled up beside me.
I was in a good mood, and I wanted to see if I could make her laugh.
So I said, “Wanna race?”
She looked over at me and gave a smile.
The cars had cleared and she began slowly pedaling into the street. She wasn’t taking me seriously! This wasn’t a game. This was a life and death, king of the road race!


Dramatic Reenactment

I pulled up to the next stop sign and waited for her to catch up.
“You better keep up or I’m going to win!” She smiled again and began to pick up the pace a little.
We continued up a hill and came to the street where my apartment was.
“It was a great race, I’m headed over there” as I pointed in the direction of my apartment.
She replied, “You’re leaving already?” – This was the first thing she had said the whole time!
… And this is where I totally dropped the ball.
I laughed and said, “I will see you next time!”
As I pedaled away I realized that I should have asked her out!
How could I have built up something so awesome and lost it all?
I looked back and she was gone. I haven’t seen her since.
So what was the point of the story?
It took me years of developing my social skills to be able to come up with funny/witty ideas on the fly. Even though the girl didn’t say anything until the end, it was clear that she enjoyed the fun experience and it made an impact on her day.
There was a time in my life where if I was in that situation I would have racked my brain thinking of things to say:

  • “Maybe I should use a pickup line?”
  • “Just say hi!”
  • “Don’t say hi that’s dumb, she will KNOW you’re into her.”


Face palm.

It doesn’t have to take you years to figure out all of this small talk stuff and how to be funny. I’ve broken it down into simple steps for you.

How do you get better at small talk?

Jerry Seinfeld is easily one of the hardest working comedians of all time. He meticulously writes and rewrites his material – sometimes taking 2 years to write a single joke!
Seinfeld has honed his craft over the years and developed a remarkable ability to observe the world around him, and turn seemingly boring and bland scenario into a gut busting joke.
This mentality of observing, rehearsing, and trying new ideas can be applied to your conversations with women. Just like anyone who becomes great at their craft, you can start with a few tools and a mental framework to help (covered in the free guide) – and then develop it into your own personality over time.

No more awkward silences – Your small talk tool box

Today we are going to break down a conversation into 2 phases and learn how to get past the common sticking points.

[ Phase 1 – Introduction ]

Common sticking points:

  • “I’m too afraid to talk to her because I don’t know what to say”
  • “I want to find a natural way to talk to her, so I’ll wait forever.”

If that’s the case then here are some intros you can use,

  1. “Hey, my name is ____________, how are you doing?” Crazy right? I use this 90% of the time.

You also start with an honest, genuine compliment either on someones clothing, or accessory they are wearing.
If they respond in a positive manner, you can engage in a conversation.
If you feel like you need to be more clever than that, try a few of these:
At the gym:
“Do you mind if I join you for a bike ride?”
“What did you think of the workout?”
NOTE: A lot of advice out there says don’t talk to women at the gym, which is usually true. Women usually don’t want to be approached at the gym because they feel gross and want to be left alone.
However, if you are in some kind of group exercise program (crossfit, cycling, group training) you will have an easier time getting to know people because everyone works out together and there is more of a team mentality.
At the bar:
“Hey you look like fun! Do you mind if I join you?”
“Cheers!” – This can be a good statement because most people will cheers back and smile, and then you can follow up with “What are you drinking?”
At an event (networking, party)
“Hey my name is__________, what brings you here?”
Coffee shop: “It’s funny how everyone looks like a zombie before they get their coffee” “That looks like an interesting book, do you like it?”

[ Phase 2 – Post introduction, middle of conversation. ]

Common sticking points:

  • After the introduction the conversation immediately gets awkward
  • Should I ask more questions? Should I ask less questions?
  • What do I say next?

TIP: Most guys either ask way too many questions, or don’t ask any and start rambling about themselves. Try to find a natural flow of a conversation. There is no formula (because then it wouldn’t be natural) but if you find yourself asking too many questions, switch it up and make a statement. For example:

You: What do you do?

Her: I’m a personal trainer at the local gym

You: So you like whipping people into shape?

Her: Yes, I like seeing people go through their transformations and becoming healthier.

You: Interesting – tell me more about that.

Her: I love knowing that I can help change and go from doubting themselves to being able to lift weight they never thought possible. I find it very rewarding.

You: That’s really cool that you have found a way to help other people out in a way that feels good for you.

Her: Yes, I love it! So what do you do?

When you move from questions to statements, the conversation begins to take on a more natural feel. If you stick to only questions, it will feel like a job interview and often times people will roll their eyes and look for a way to exit the conversation. Here are some statements you can use. Test them in your conversations to find how people respond.

  • “That’s interesting, tell me more about that.”
  • “You know, I would have never thought doing X would lead to Y. That’s cool you found that.”
  • “I really liked that (movie, book, song) too. I can tell that person put a lot of time into making that their best (movie, book, song).”

The best statements allow for the other person to have an easy way to respond. A bad statement would be:

  • “I liked that movie”

A good statement would be:

  • “I liked that movie because of X and Y”

Here are a few more interesting questions that lead to an engaging conversation:

  • What was your biggest win today?
  • What do you think is your greatest strength?
  • What in life currently makes you the most fulfilled?

How to deal with short replies during small talk

If you’re having challenges during small talk and you feel the other person isn’t into the conversation. Consider a few things:

  1. Just like you get nervous during conversation sometimes, they might be going through the same thing. She might be feeling self conscious because she wasn’t expecting someone to come and talk to her. Be sure to smile, and have relaxed, confident body language to allow the other person to feel more comfortable.
  2. Sometimes people don’t want to talk. If you are getting more than 2 or 3 one word responses, you can politely eject from the conversation and move on.

Come up with endless fun conversation ideas in 10 minutes a day

Just like any comedian or writer, they have to spend time thinking of ideas and how to make their craft better. Every time you have a conversation, reflect on what you can improve on, and what went well. By doing this you are guiding your mind to become creative naturally.

To Do this week

The only way you can get better at conversation is to have more conversations. It’s also important to reflect on what went well, and what to improve on during each conversation.

  1. Go out and start conversations with 3 different people using the techniques above
  2. Record what happened and what you can improve on
  3. Leave a comment below on your results

I’ve included my formula I used to improve my social skills in my free guide, and a few more lines you can use to get started. There is even a bonus of my favorite way to go into a deeper conversation on a date.
grab that here!

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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4 Major Mistakes That Keep You From Going Past The First Date

Let’s face it, some of us have had terrible dates. Hopefully you haven’t been on a date as bad as this one:
Screen Shot 2015-01-11 at 4.46.29 PM
Even if your dates don’t end in disaster, going on a few mediocre dates can stir up feelings of insecurity and make us wonder, “Is it me?”
George Costanza was the king of this line from Seinfeld. Although this line is often times true, there are a few exceptions.
Today, we are going to take a look at some of the things that might be preventing us from a second date.
Be sure to check out my free guide to successful dating in 2015 that I am offering at the end of this post.
2015 has arrived which means everyone is currently goal oriented and looking for some change in their life. As it relates to dating, you might want to find that special someone, get into something a little more serious, or simply just go on more dates.
There are a few habits we need to leave behind however. Here are a few of the biggest ones that could be hurting your dating life.
#1 Being attached to an outcome
We all have reasons for dating. We’re looking for a  relationship, to have fun and let loose, or just to see what’s out there. All of these are totally normal and valid reasons for dating. However, when we go on a date with a future agenda in mind, we totally miss the point of the date. Bringing an agenda can ruin things before they even had a chance to take off. A lot of times during the first date we are constantly trying to assess,

  • “Should I ask her about her family, or about her job?”
  • “Should I try to kiss her now?”
  • “What does she think of me?”

If you find you are thinking about the future during the date, take a second and breathe.
Lori Deschene from Tiny Buddha has a great insight on getting attached to outcomes,
“We pin our happiness to people, circumstances, and things and hold onto them for dear life. We stress about the possibility of losing them when something seems amiss. Then we melt into grief when something changes—a lay off, a break up, a transfer.”
This means go on the date with the intention of going on just that date. If you both connect and want to see each other again, great! If not, that’s totally fine as well.
The best way to approach a date?
Act as if it’s your one and only date, and you want to leave the person better than you found them.
#2 Sacrificing who you are
Making a first good impression is important. We are putting ourselves out there to someone we don’t know that well and it’s easy to get caught up in wanting to be polite and not offend them. While bringing your manners to the date is important, if you find yourself nodding along with their view money, relationships, and health and you totally disagree – do the hard thing by sticking to your own personal preferences. This doesn’t mean tell them they are wrong or try to correct them.
Dale Carnegie put it the best, “You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.”
The best way to stay true to your beliefs? You don’t have to mention that you are against what they believe in, simply let them speak and move onto a different subject.
#3 Talking at her, and not with her
Guys are very guilty of this. Men are competitive by nature which means we like to show off all of the amazing feats we have accomplished in our lives. The problem with that is that most people don’t want to hear about ALL of them all at once.
On the flip side guys, you can’t tune out when she starts talking. If you want to have a conversation with a little more depth, check out this article on how to do it.
Nothing can be more offensive than to totally check out when someone else is talking. Even if you think you are being smooth and they will notice – they do.
#4   Put the phone down
Chances are you may have found that date you are about to go on using a dating app on your phone. Technology has certainly made things easier for people to connect, however when you actually go meet up with them in person don’t forget to actually… connect!
Don’t go to the phone out of nerves or because there is a lull in the conversation. Force yourself to be present and get out of your comfort zone and actually engage with that person.
Looking for help on making an awesome dating profile that gets fun dates? Check out this article:
Even if you end up on another terrible date, you never know you might end up like this guy:
Screen Shot 2015-01-06 at 4.50.43 PM
Moving forward, 2015 can be an incredible year for you when it comes to dating if you are willing to try a few new things and get outside your comfort zone.
To get you started, I have written a guide that addresses how to handle first date nerves, finding the right person for you, how to find your strengths as they relate to dating, and how to have a great first date that lead to more.
You can grab that here.
If you are new to using the Coffee Meets Bagel app and are looking to get some dates lined up for 2015, be sure to check out this article

About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Cuddling Is Good For You Because Science (…But Really)

Note: The post was written by Laura Argintar and was originally posted on Elite Daily.

It turns out there really is some science as to why your sorry, single self is going to bed at night alone and waking up miserable.

We’re probably not the first people to tell you this — and don’t get all offended when we do — but you need to find a partner. According to collective research by Andrea Petersen in The Wall Street Journal, sleeping with a partner in the same bed provides an array of health benefits. And it doesn’t stop there.

Some scientists hypothesize that sleeping with a partner may be a prominent reason people in intimate relationships tend to be in better health and live longer than sad and lonely singletons.

Sharing really is caring after all, at least when it comes to your sheets. The new study challenges previous findings that women don’t sleep as well with someone else in their bed and that both sexes move around more when sleeping together.

While this may be true, according to Wendy M. Troxel, an assistant professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Pittsburgh, “the psychological benefits we get having closeness at night trump the objective costs of sleeping with a partner.”

So maybe don’t be so quick to f*ck ‘em and chuck ‘em next time, ya feel?

Here’s another reason to love your partner more: Sleeping together promotes feelings of safety and security, which may lower levels of cortisol, a stress hormone.

“Sharing a bed may also reduce cytokines, involved in inflammation, and boost oxytocin, the so-called love hormone that is known to ease anxiety and is produced in the same part of the brain responsible for the sleep-wake cycle,” suggests the WSJ.

Perhaps if you’re feeling anxious before a big exam or presentation, you should give your cuddle-buddy a call — like a booty call 2.0.

And if you’re still single, there’s another reason to feel worse about yourself (no, it’s not about skipping a gym day).

Research also shows that women in stable relationships actually fall asleep faster and wake less frequently than single women or those whose relationship status changed during the study.

So if you’re going to cuddle your man, make sure you hang on tight and don’t let him go! Or else you’ll be single, cranky AND tired.

The science doesn’t stop there though. If you want to really boost your relationship happiness, you and your partner should sleep naked.

It’s fairly intuitive; sleeping naked together builds a sense of closeness and intimacy, which in turn, strengthens your relationship.

A poll of 1,000 Brits revealed that 57 percent of couples who sleep in the nude reported being “extremely happy” in their relationships, while less than half of the PJ-clad reported the same.

The lesson? Even if you ate an entire feast of Chinese food that night, don’t be afraid to take it off. Take it all off.

Basically, science is telling us something we already knew: One really is the loneliest number.

About the Author: Laura Argintar is the Senior Women’s Writer at Elite Daily. Listed among her achievements are performing stand-up, graduating from the U of M and writing for her favorite publications. LARG enjoys covering women’s topics, watching celebrities self-destruct and rising to any occasion. You can find more from her here, or find her on Twitter @LARGTwITS.

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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lasting relationship

5 Ways To Sustain Your Relationship

According to a research carried out on more than 5000 women by Menshealth.com and Glamour magazine, it was discovered that 26% of women broke up with their boyfriends over too many arguments and conflicts, 18% broke up because there is no chemistry in their relationships, 14% found a better guy, 11%  broke up because the men cheated, 11% broke up when the men would not commit, 9% broke up because the men weren’t a husband material, 3% broke up because of lousy sex.
The research showed that a lot of relationship are breaking up each and every day because of different reasons as can be seen above. In this article, we will be taking a look at how we can sustain our relationships and keep it from breaking up.  Below are some ways you can do that.
1.  Fall in love again
One of the main pillars that keep a relationship strong is love. When there is no love between two people in a dating relationship, breakup is imminent.  The question is, how can you keep the fire of love burning? You need to keep falling in love over and over again. Do the things that attracted you to each other at the beginning of the relationship. Do those things that your partner loves seeing you do and you will keep the fire burning.  The problem with ladies is that, once they are in a relationship with someone, they assumed there is no need to fight for the man’s love again.  That is a very wrong assumption, you need to keep doing what he wants to make him love and respect you the more.
2.  Confront your problems.
There is no relationship that is devoid of conflicts. This is because the two parties involved were raised by different parents, environment, ideology etc. Therefore, there is bound to be differing opinions about things when they come together.  You must learn to confront and solve all these problems and not overlook them.  For example, if you are in a relationship with a man who doesn’t deem it fit to clean his house and just leave everything scattered and you on the other came from a home where everything should be in their proper places.  There will be a problem in your relationship, you need to sit down and educate each other about it.  Another problem that can ensue is the issue of money, if you come from a family where money is not an issue and you get what you need without lifting a finger and you are in a relationship with a guy who does not have it all, you will need to come down to his level to make it work. Therefore,  confronting all the issues in your relationship will clear things up and give you a headway.
3.  Enhance each other’s live
Relationship has gone beyond selfish desires.  You must learn to look for ways you can add value to the life of your partner. What does he or she likes doing? How can you help her/him do it better without much stress? For example, while I was dating my husband, he discovered that I love to browse the internet and write.  He went ahead to buy Internet marketing magazines for me to get more knowledge about the stuff and turn it into a money making business. I started reading and getting ideas on how to start freelance writing online.  Since I love writing and browsing, it was easy for me to turn it into a money making venture and that is what I am doing today.  I still get to do what I love and make money from it.  I don’t see it as a job, but as a hobby and I am able to contribute to the family financially.  That is what I am talking about.  Look for ways to help your partner develop his/her passion and your relationship will grow stronger and stronger.
4.  Respect and Honesty
Being in a relationship with someone does not make you his/her subordinate. It is a mutual thing and you must respect each other’s values, opinions, way of life etc.  You can’t talk down on your partner simply because you are a man.  That is not a good way to show your manliness. Respect should be reciprocal, respect her and she will respect you.  Honesty is another value that you must uphold in your relationship.  Don’t cover up things that can be exposed later and cause problems.  Let your partner know who you are right from the beginning.  There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, no matter how long it takes.
5.  Care for the other person as much as yourself
Sometimes in a relationship, a partner may be too consumed about his/her need that he will forget to look after the other person.  For a relationship to triumph, you must care for one another. Look out for each other’s interest and guide it jealously.  Don’t be the only focus in the relationship, it takes two people to make a relationship work.
Are you ready to make your relationship work?  Then, follow the points highlighted above and your relationship will keep growing stronger and stronger.

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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3 Easy Steps To A Killer First Date

It’s got to be one of the worst feelings in the world. You’re excited for your date, you’ve listened to your ‘pump up’ playlist (which better include a combination of The Darkness, Marvin Gaye, and Queen) and used far too many spritzes of cologne to be healthy for your lungs. It’s game time.
Then you arrive to a date that seems like more of an interview than anything else, by virtue of trading “How about yous” and jumping from topic to topic in a vain attempt to find something shallow to connect on. Of course, this whole endeavor ends with you going home alone to Netflix. What in Jiminy Cricket happened and how can you prevent such a bad experience in the future? Here are 3 easy steps to ensure that your dates never turn out like interviews.

  1. Catalog your stories.

Even the mundane ones. Look, you know that you’re going to be asked about your weekend, your hobbies, your job, your career, your education, your pets… so make sure you have more than a one word answer about them. Have 1-2 stories on hand about each question so that you can create a conversation relatively organically. It’s just good practice for connecting with people beyond a surface level. How was your weekend? Good, how about you? How was your weekend? Amazing, I went whitewater rafting for the first time and wiped out like a champ! Ah, much better.

  1. No dinner dates. NO.DINNER. DATES. I could go on a whole rant about this, but dinner dates aren’t organic, don’t allow for flirting, separate you physically, lock you in for a set amount of time, force you to stare at each other, and creates pressure to have constant conversation and banter.

Make an activity the star of the date – it’s a far more organic and natural way of conversing. Everything that the dinner date doesn’t allow, an activity allows: flirtation, touching, physical closeness, and all the good stuff. You can even just take a walk! As it happens, all of a woman’s sexual characteristics and goodies are on display and showcased when she walks… so she’ll like it, and so will you.

  1. Break the touch barrier.

Just do it. I know it’s uncomfortable at first, but going through the first date like a male nun is going to be a big blow to your chances. There’s no smooth method you’re going to magically discover where you don’t feel like you’re putting yourself out there. At some point, you’re going to have to come clean with your sexual intentions, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Keep in mind that a woman will love the exact same actions from a guy that she is attracted to, while disliking them from a guy she is attracted to. You’re already on a date with her and pre-selected, so chances are…
Read more from Patrick at Patrick King Consulting, and check out his best-selling CMB-focused online dating book on Amazon.
Read on for 4 more ways to plan an amazing date she can’t wait to tell her friends about.

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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approach anxiety

How to Overcome Approach Anxiety

Meeting someone new can be challenging. It can be even more challenging for men, especially when they want to approach a beautiful woman. Your heart starts to race and as you take steps towards her, your mouth runs dry and your palm sweats. As you come close to her shivers run down your spine. You start stammering and you start wondering why you are tongue tied. It’s almost as if your body is telling you that it’s a trap, and to retreat, but this is the norm so it’s completely cool for this to happen. With that being said, here are some tips to help you overcome approach anxiety and speak with any woman you want.

1) It’s All In Your Head

Contrary to what you have in your head, beautiful women have nothing to do with your nervousness. It is all within your head. The fear of rejection or being disgraced in public is what gets over you. This simply means even before you take the first step, you have already set yourself to fail by trying to predict the future, and the only part of the future you are predicting is the negative part. So how do you fix this? Don’t become dependent on the outcome. If she continues talking with you, bullseye! However, if she doesn’t, it’s not a big deal because you know that there are so many other women you can approach and talk to.

2) Just Jump

There is a certain philosophy upheld by athletes out there where they say “just jump”. What they mean is that when you want to do something, just take a leap and take action, and the same applies to the dating world. With women there is no right time to take the bold step. Challenge yourself and just approach without anything in mind to say, and you will be surprised at how things turn out smoothly. The best way to “just jump” is to live by the 3 second rule. If you see a beautiful woman you want to approach, you better do it in 3 seconds otherwise you will think of every excuse in the book for not approaching her.

3) Warm Up

By warming up I mean you don’t just approach that woman you have been eyeing for a while. First approach other women around you until you think you are ready. Warm up by approaching women and men around you as much as possible. During your warm up sessions you don’t have to be specialized or have complicated lines, even just saying hello is enough to build up your confidence. The next time you meet up you can push the conversation further by asking their name and anything related and before you know your game on how to talk to women will keep improving.

4) Don’t Forget To Take A Deep Breath

When anxious, many men will experience symptoms like having a higher pulse rate and even excessive sweating. Until you can get rid of whatever is bothering you, you cannot experience a relaxed state. However, you can lie to your brain and tell it that you are actually okay by taking a deep breath. So before you jump and approach that beauty, take a deep breath. You will be surprised with how much this simple trick can help boost your confidence when it comes to approaching women.

Approaching beautiful women can be challenging, but it’s a very simple step. So practice this with anyone and everyone, both men and women. Get used to talking to new people, just to build up your confidence. So when the day comes that you have to approach that beautiful woman, you’ll be able to do it without even thinking twice (and before that 3 seconds is up!).


Author: Hey my name is James Bryan, and aside from playing golf and exercising everyday in Florida, I enjoy helping guys online build up their confidence and become the man that the ladies can’t resist. Check out my site here.

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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Don't Give Up So Easily

It takes time. Don’t expect that you’ll find your man/woman of your dreams on your very first connection.

I’m sure you have a close circle of friends you share your victories and defeats with, and I’m here to be just one more encouraging voice amidst your friends.

Dating is hard and its tough.

I know that reality and truth all too well. Regardless of whether you’re online dating or dating people you know in real life, its challenging. If you’re really putting yourself into it and putting yourself out there, then you’ll discover that online dating is no less painful than dating people you know in real life.

Maybe you have no problems getting dates.

Maybe those dates go well and don’t ever blow up in your face.

Maybe you’ve only been on good first dates, but have seldom moved on to a second date. Or maybe you’ve only been on dates that are nothing short of disastrous and are wondering if men even know how to date anymore. Maybe you wonder if women know how to identify a quality guy anymore.

You could be frustrated, you could be bitter, you could feel hopeless. You secretly fear that you’ll be the most amazing person who remained single either his/her entire life as you live amongst cats.

You may think that there’s nobody out there for you.

You may think that online dating sucks and you were actually happier not dating, not just people in real life, but not dating at all.

Don’t give up.

Don’t give up hope.

She is out there, somewhere.

He is out there, somewhere.

Because once you find that love, you won’t need to hope for it anymore.

If you quit, you can’t win.

If you keep going, you can’t lose.

Don’t throw in the towel. Just because you’re online dating doesn’t mean this somehow makes dating any easier in the long run. It makes it easier to get started, but the process itself is still rough. The process is still tough, still requires patience, and at the end of the day, process still doesn’t happen over night.

I haven’t been on a single terrible date through Coffee Meets Bagel. Every single girl was of a high caliber and quality. They were all intelligent, motivated, and driven. They were all women of high moral standards.

Don’t blame the app. At the end of the day, you still have to put in the work.

These were my feelings at various stages through using Coffee Meets Bagel. I don’t have those thoughts anymore, all because I kept going. I didn’t give up and I had faith.

I now have a good reason not to use Coffee Meets Bagel.
My story to be told later. =)

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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8 Ways Dating Is Like Starting Your Own Business

If you’ve ever attempted to freelance or start a small business, then you know that only one person is responsible for your successes and/or your failures – you. There are certain things that you need to do. You need to dress well – not that Armani suit, but you should be presentable. You should be able to converse on a variety of topics without appearing to have ADHD. You should also be yourself.

1) You need to be a bit shameless about self promotion.
Put yourself out there. You can’t get a date if you don’t talk to people. Don’t count of referrals or your friends to introduce you to amazing people. I’m not saying to throw yourself in front of every pair of legs or every handsome face, but at least make an effort. To make a solid effort you’ll need to…

2) Distance yourself from the pack.
Separate yourself from the rest of the general population. Why are you the best things since sliced bread? Why are you different than the guy that’s been trying to hit on every girl that walks up to the bar? You’ll need to put your uniqueness on display a little bit. If you’re good with your words, use them. If you can make non-creeper eye contact, do that.

3) Marketing
Do you have skills? What are your interests? Have more going on for you than good looks, spartan abs, and a salary. Sure, sparks can fly early on, but I’m pretty sure you can’t sustain that kind of emotional intensity in the long run. Have intangibles that let the other person you’re seeing see that there’s long-term potential here. Speaking of long term…

4) Have vision.
You need a business plan. You need a mission statement and this ties into legacy. You need purpose. You can date for the hell of it, or you can be in it to win it. I’m not suggesting you propose to her after three dates and I’m not suggesting you talk to him about baby names after four or five dates. I’m saying this mostly so that you can crystalize for yourself what your motivations are for dating. Be prepared, because…

5) You will be rejected often, get used to it.
You may be awesome, but it won’t stop people from not giving you an opportunity for you to put your awesomeness on display. That’s their problem, not yours. Be secure in who you are and what you have to offer. Know that they who just outright rejected you never gave you a chance and have missed out. So what if no one has clicked ‘Like’ for you in a month? You wouldn’t be moping around because some company won’t grant you an interview, right? You just move on to the next one. And…

6) You will fail often, get used to it.
You will get opportunities. It looks good at the beginning. The two of you click, finish each other’s sentences, and share many common interests and activities. Things couldn’t be going any better for the both of you. But over time, things start to dip and the happiness you used to share is no longer happiness. It could even happen suddenly. Things are going swimmingly and in a moments notice it all comes crashing down like the floor beneath your feet. What happened? You never saw the breakup coming. You were blindsided. It happens to the best of us. No one ever went very far in life in any pursuit without failing. It’s about bouncing back and recovering from the experience. Instead of sulking in misery over your failure, just know that…

7) You won’t be wildly successful right away.
Much like #5 and #6, the first person you go out with is probably not going to be the one you attach yourself to and walk down the aisle with. It will take time, not months, but years. If you’re in it to win it, it means you’re willing to accept the wait. Great friendships don’t happen overnight and neither do great romantic relationships that lead to marriage. If you’re doing dating and online dating right, it’s really hard work to get there and you need to keep doing the hard work to stay there. Every so often you need to step back and conduct a…

8) Performance Review.
I’m not suggesting you audio record your dates and analyze the audio and wear a lapel cam so you can analyze her body language with what you say to her, but you need to objectively evaluate how you’re doing with the various types of women you’re going out with. Do you notice trends? Is there a pattern with the kind of women you’re going out with and is the outcome of all those dates unbelievably predictable? Be in the moment and be aware of what he/she does in response to what you say and do. Be objective and not overly critical of yourself! The right person will like you for you!

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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hocus pocus

The Secret Dating Profiles of the Sanderson Sisters

Are you looking for a Halloween date this year? Look no further! The infamous “Hocus Pocus” Sanderson sisters are available for your next Halloween party. All three are very different but they have one thing in common, they are looking for a bagel just like you! Here at Coffee Meets Bagel, we wish you a Halloween full of fun, magic, and excitement. After all, “It’s just a bunch of Hocus Pocus.”


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The Reasons Winifred Could Be The Perfect Halloween Bagel For You:

1. Winifred always rocks her unique hairstyle with confidence.

Hocus Pocus

2. She’s calm and rational.

Hocus Pocus

3. Winifred is a morning person.

Hocus Pocus

4. She’s not afraid to eat carbs.

Hocus Pocus

5. She is brutally honest, you never have to worry about her lying.

Hocus Pocus


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The Reasons Sarah Could Be The Perfect Halloween Bagel For You:

1. Sarah is very confident in who she is.

Hocus Pocus

2. She is extremely playful.

Hocus Pocus

3. Sarah has a mesmerizing voice… and nice “yaboos”.

Hocus Pocus

4. She enjoys eating exotic and rare food.

Hocus Pocus

5. Sarah is polite and will tell you when she doesn’t like something.

Hocus Pocus


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The Reasons Mary Could Be The Perfect Halloween Bagel For You:

1. Mary is passionate about TV.

Hocus Pocus

2. She has a very good sense of smell.

Hocus Pocus

3. Mary travels in style and isn’t afraid to be unique.

Hocus Pocus

4. She always looks fabulous.

Hocus Pocus

5. Mary has a great attitude even when she is in terrible situations.

Hocus Pocus


If you liked this post, please check out our other Halloween Post: 11 (and a half) Haunted Houses to Take Your Date This Halloween.

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.

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