It’s 2019, and a recruiter stumbles upon your LinkedIn. You have a blurry picture of yourself holding up your cat like Simba in “The Lion King,” and your profile says something about being a 2015 Flip Cup Champion, #LetsGetThisBread.
This same approach on Instagram may have earned you thousands of followers. But, let’s just say…you’re not getting the job today.
Just like social media sites have best practices unique to their platform, so do the top dating apps.
Whether you’re looking for a quick hook-up on Tinder, or someone who sparks your heart on Coffee Meets Bagel, you can rock the 2019 dating space by making sure you’re sharing your best self in the new year. Here’s how to start.
1. Start With Self-Reflection
None of the top dating apps, even Coffee Meets Bagel, can help you find the “right” match if you’re unsure of what you’re looking for. In fact, “We end up wasting a ton of time on the wrong people because we don’t know what we want,” says CMB Co-Founder Dawoon Kang.
Put It on Paper
To succeed from the start, try the following exercise: Beginning with a blank sheet of paper, write down what you think an amazing relationship would look like. Be as descriptive as possible. For example, you could write, “My partner would do house chores equally, and we’d take turns making healthy dinners.” Or, “We’d try something new every quarter.”
From this list, you can then pick out qualities you think are most important for your partner to have. Then, Dawoon suggests, “Strive to become this person,” because we often attract those we are most like.
Make Your Intentions Clear
If you feel comfortable, the most effective way to find a partner who has these qualities is to be transparent by listing them on your profile. That’s because the key to finding the right person for you and your life stage isn’t getting as many Likes as possible; It’s about getting that one right Like.
2. Dating Profile Photos: Have 3 or More
Did you know that you could increase your chances of being Liked on Coffee Meets Bagel by 31 percent by uploading at least three photos? But, don’t upload just any pictures to meet the magic number. One on-point photo is still better than three snapshots of last night’s dinner.
The first photo you upload is especially important, so make sure it’s a face-forward shot of you, preferably smiling. Shielding your eyes from harmful UV rays is cool and all, but keep the sunglasses off for pictures. Same goes for hats. Check out a few of our other dating profile secrets for putting your best face forward:
Profile Photo Do’s
- Upload a picture of you loving your hobbies, whether they include rock-climbing or playing with puppies at animal shelters.
- Speaking of puppies, selfies with your pets are a definite “Do.”
- Include tasteful full-body shots, like posing in nature.
- Don’t be a catfish: Use recent images. We promise, the current you is fantastic.
Profile Photo Don’ts
- Don’t upload blurry photos, including mirror selfies (especially if your Windex game is weak).
- Try not to get lost in a crowd! Group photos are great for tagging friends on Facebook, but they can confuse potential matches. Is she the cute girl on the left, or the aging grandfather in the background?
- Leave your photos with exes in your memory box.
- Additionally, wear a shirt. We love the body confidence, but our data shows that shirtless photos don’t fare well on CMB.
3. Dating Profiles: Get Your Wordsmith On
Writing a profile on any of the top dating apps can be intimidating. How do you sum up your personality by answering just a few questions? The best advice: Be uniquely you. And, don’t be afraid to get specific.
While being short and to-the-point is awesome for Twitter, that isn’t the case for Coffee Meets Bagel. In fact, when we analyzed profiles of successful CMB couples (those who found someone via CMB) vs. CMB singles, the only difference we found was profile length! The top 10 percent of Liked profiles on CMB were 35 percent longer than others.
How Can I Add Length to My Dating Profile?
Profile descriptions like, “I’m adventurous,” or, “I like music,” don’t feel like they belong to a real person. Instead, be more specific, like, “I love trying out new foods at the local farmer’s market,” or, “I’m always down to go to local music shows! Lately, I’m really into indie-rock band Alexander & the Grapes.” You can see how, when you’re more specific, the length comes naturally.
An article on dating profiles in Marie Claire also advises to “keep your profile up to date” and to “Make the effort to renew your profile on a regular basis with relevant information about yourself.” Yes! We couldn’t agree more.
4. Chat With Confidence
In a recent article about our new look, we mentioned this:
The point of making connections on Coffee Meets Bagel isn’t to catch ‘em all like Pokemon cards. (Plus, you’re already the very best!) It’s to get to know your matches and then meet in real life for a real date.
If you’re using top dating apps to meet real people for real dates, the best way to succeed is a long-hidden CMB secret…ask them out! OK, easier said than done. Here’s a few chat tips to spark meaningful conversation in 2019:
- Ask a question. In a CMB study, we found out that when someone’ first text was a question, the response rate increased by over 20 percent — making response rates for men messaging women 75 percent and women messaging men 80 percent!
- Sprinkle in some emojis. In the same study, we also found increased response rates when people used emojis in their texts.
- Use CMB’s new feature that lets you send a message with your Like to hit it off from the get-go. In beta testing, members who used this feature with their potential matches had a 25 percent higher chance of getting Liked back.
5. Be Selfish
Finding the perfect partnership takes both patience and luck. Expect that you won’t find your “forever” right away, if that’s what you’re looking for. Until then, focus on yourself and the right person for you on your journey.
The “right” person for you right now might be someone who gives you butterflies, but that you aren’t ready to commit to long-term. That person might be someone you bond with over your undying love for Game of Thrones, but find you’re better off friends. That person could even be someone you meet only once at a cafe for coffee, but the conversation inspires you to try something new!
There is no wrong way to date, and every encounter can be meaningful in your journey.
Focus on the Journey
There are so many reasons why a date or a relationship might not be forever, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a “success.” By reframing dating as path to personal growth, we can discover so many new things about ourselves and our world — without the pressure to accept less than what we deserve.
CMB’s Dawoon Kang recommends exploring your own interests through dates. That cocktail-making class you’ve been dying to try? Suggest it as a first date. Or, have your date suggest something you normally wouldn’t do to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Dawoon added the following:
Having someone to do something fun with on the weekend is important, too, but I believe ultimately that what makes love so powerful is its ability to help us grow, to make us better people. We can use dating as a catalyst for our self-growth in 2019. We may not end up with that ideal relationship by the end of the year. But, we will 100 percent end up with a more fulfilled life.
Join one of the top dating apps for getting that “right” Like.
Download Coffee Meets Bagel for iPhone or Android.