Save the Date #1: Dating Hacks with Jess McCann

You might not think dating advice and medical sales would come up in the same conversation, but Jess McCann has an interesting story to tell. In this episode of Save the Date, the dating coach and author dives into dating hacks developed from her best sales tactics, and how they can immediately change the way you date.

This is Save the Date, a dating survival kit from Coffee Meets Bagel. Each episode, our Chief Dating Officer Dawoon Kang will sit down with a guest expert to tackle some of your most burning dating questions and explore what it takes to ultimately reach your goals: going on great dates that lead to a lasting, serious relationship.

 

Show notes:

The similarities between sales and dating [2:23]

A curse does exist in dating, but it’s not what you think [4:28]

Why self-knowledge is critical to dating [6:22]

How to shift your mindset around “prospecting” in dating [8:07]

Why it’s so important to end a date at the height of impulse [10:04]

How the SEE factor and mirroring can relax you on a date [12:58]

The difference between playing a game and strategizing [16:18]

Why Jessica wrote “Cursed?” [17:53]

What it means to be self-absorbed in dating and why this is such a big risk [20:47]

While “being present” may be overused today, there are good reasons why it is essential on any date [25:22]

Practical next steps to immediately improve your dating prospects [28:25]

What to do if the other person isn’t ready for a relationship but seems interested? [30:08]

What do you do when the date starts to go bad? [31:20]

The best dating advice Jessica has ever received [34:42]

Once piece of advice that will help people looking for a long-term relationship right now [35:32]

 

Quotes:

“My team told me I should write a book that takes these sales strategies and teaches daters how to date using them. So I wrote it.”

“There’s a difference between games and strategy. A strategy is going out with a certain number of people and arming yourself with these techniques so a person can really get to know you.”

“If you’re seeing a negative pattern in your relationships over and over again, the reason is you have a certain mindset that is sabotaging your love life.”

 “The purpose of a date is for you to get to know someone and them to get to know you. In order to do that, you both have to be in the present moment – you can’t be future-focused.”

“If you’re too self-focused, you can’t accurately assess what’s going on in the relationship or with the person sitting across from you.”

“Being loving is not about doing whatever another person asks. It means responding in a loving way. It means being loving in how you handle anyone in a situation.”

“People go on dates and they’re more concerned with what sounds good and what the other person is going to want. Focus on who you are and what is important to you.”

“You really have to know yourself and what you’re looking for. Otherwise, you’re going to be tied up into what the other person wants to hear from you, which is not important at all.”

“Just be yourself and don’t worry if the other person doesn’t like you. Just go into everything with good intentions and a good heart and it’ll be fine.”

“If you’re nervous on a date, ‘mirror theory’ is so helpful because all you have to do is mirror the other person. You don’t have to overthink it – your body language will come off just right.”

“Remember your ‘SEE Factor’: Smile, Eye Contact, Energy. The other person will feel that positive energy and know that you like them and are excited to meet them.”

“End your date at the height of impulse. If you’re having a great time on a date and thinking ‘I wish this date would never end,’ – that is the exact point where it should end.”