Save the Date #12 How do I turn a match into an actual date? | Dateable’s Yue Xu & Julie Krafchick
Today’s interview features two dating coaches turned dating sociologists, Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick. Yue and Julie are the hosts of Dateable, one of the top podcasts about dating, love, and sex.
Even though we’ve been at it for a little while, we’re all still figuring out how to date during COVID-19. Since dating apps are a safe and convenient way to meet people, I thought it would be awesome if we could help our daters become better at moving from the dating app to meeting in real life. I know, a lot of us find it tricky. But that’s why we cover a lot of practical tips to help you out, from texting to video chats, and dig into why now is actually a pretty great time to be dating.
This is “Save the Date,” a dating survival kit from Coffee Meets Bagel. Each episode, our Chief Dating Officer Dawoon Kang will sit down with a guest expert to tackle some of your most burning dating questions and explore what it takes to ultimately reach your goals: going on great dates that lead to a lasting, serious relationship.
SHOW NOTES:
Why is now the perfect time to be dating? [1:13]
Guidelines to moving from an app to meeting in real life [7:02]
Recommendations on texting [22:03]
Transitioning from texting to a phone or video call [35:10]
The best dating advice Yue and Julie have ever received [45:50]
RESOURCES:
- The Dateable Podcast: https://www.dateablepodcast.com/ Subscribe here!
- Dateable’s Instagram profile: https://www.instagram.com/dateablepodcast/?hl=en
- The Dateable YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNW3484xYheLDxs6wfFEXzQ
QUOTES:
“Now is the perfect time to date. We’re all on our phones. We’re all online. We can all be on the apps. We can give the time everyone deserves to find if we are compatible with someone.” – Yue Xu
“COVID has kind of destroyed fuck boys. Because the people that just want to get some are having a hard time. But it’s also risen up the people that are serious about relationships.” – Julie Krafchick
“Love, connection, and belonging are such fundamental human needs, who doesn’t want that? I think it’s great that we’re now actually accepting that want, and able to vocalize it.” – Dawoon Kang
“When it comes to online dating, once you’ve learned 3 things about the other person, it’s time to take it offline. If you are ready to take it to the next level, make that initial move.” – Yue Xu
“You can only learn so much from dating profiles The faster you can move to some sort of conversation, the faster you’ll be able to see if this is someone that’s worth meeting” – Julie Krafchick
“There is no magic phrase out there to get someone to text you back. You have to just be authentically who you are.” Yue Xu
“We want someone to have a life with. Anytime you can insert your life into the conversation, so they can feel a part of it, it gives a glimpse into what a partnership could look like.” Yue Xu
“You don’t need a different identity with dating than you do in real life with your friends. If you treat people as a friend, then you would have a much more loving dating experience.” – Yue Xu
“If someone is interested, and they want the same things, they’re also looking for a way to progress it. They will be open to your advances in moving things forward.“ – Julie Krafchick
“If you’re chatting with someone, and they’re making you feel anxious because they’re not texting back. That’s not bringing out the best in you, and not someone you should be with.” – Yue Xu
“When it comes to online dating especially, we’re looking at how many people am I matching with? How many people are messaging me back? And that’s not really the point of dating.” – Yue Xu
