The creative team at Coffee Meets Bagel thought a lot about what we could do to highlight Women’s History Month. We considered featuring our three co-founders who started it all. Or, maybe the team of fierce women who run things behind the scenes at CMB. Perhaps we could partner with a pro female athlete and use a catchy sports idiom about women taking control of their dating life.
But then it hit us like a stale bagel. Why not just feature the women of CMB who — every day on our app — are bravely putting themselves out there? They’re letting down their walls. They’re being vulnerable. And that’s badass.
Women’s History Month With CMB: #DaretoShare
It all started with a survey (because we sort of have an obsession with surveys at CMB, especially when it comes to Women’s History Month!) We asked the women of CMB to share two things:
- A time when they felt brave or confident about a decision on a date, in a relationship, or in their romantic life.
- Self love affirmations that showcase their strength as a woman. We had them use one of CMB’s profile starters, “I am… .”
We received so many inspiring quotes about female strength, but we selected just 5 of our fave women to #DaretoShare their stories publicly on our Instagram. We also set them up to star in their own photoshoot hosted by Snappr — an on-demand photography service!
We’re currently still rolling out their stories on our ‘gram right now, but here’s a special early release for our best bloggies.
1. I am…comfortable in my own skin.
“I was seeing this guy for about 2 months, when out of the blue, he stopped responding to messages. I normally take that as a sign that they are no longer interested in dating. But I was particularly excited about this one, so I couldn’t let it go.
I sent him a message telling him how I felt and he responded within a minute. It didn’t work out for me in the end, but since that moment, I have no reservations about speaking the truth when getting to know someone I like.” — Kyla Berry
Yes ? Kyla ? Berry ?. You’re our new spirit animal. Nixing the dating games and just being straightforward with your feelings is always the best way to go. We also love that you took something that may have really hurt your feelings and are using it as fuel to be a more confident you. Here’s to even better relationships on the horizon!
2. I am…responsible for my own happiness.
“I began texting with a compatible match several months ago. Texting led to talking (how romantically old school!), talking led to dates, and dates led to….well…the joint decision to take it to the bedroom. Everything was going swimmingly until suddenly it wasn’t. The dates weren’t getting scheduled, the phone calls stopped, and the texts became scarce.
(Enter brave and fearless woman not afraid of rejection NOR going after what she wants, even if that’s a particular man.)
I didn’t succumb to the waiting game. I didn’t take the low road and ghost him. I didn’t shoot daggers via texts which could potentially, and unfairly, label me as just another ‘crazy girl.’ And I certainly didn’t pluck every flower petal in the Tri-State area playing, “He likes me, he likes me not.’ Instead, I remembered I was in control of my dating life and politely asked for a time to talk.” — Jenny Baker
Being ghosted really hurts. It’s natural to feel anxious waiting for a reply or to be scared of possible rejection. But, the way you responded to this by first recognizing the less-savory routes daters might take — like ghosting back or using hurtful words — and then choosing to do something out of the norm — calmly asking for a time to chat — was so brave of you! Even more daring was your choice to share your story. Thank you, Jenny ?!
3. I am…always learning and growing.
“I always tell myself to go on two dates (especially if there was alcohol on the first date) to get a clear image of chemistry and fit. I used to never stop there, especially when the “résumé” was so tempting. I went on a date with a man who was, by all accounts, perfect on paper and a physical specimen.
Fairly quickly I realized our values did not align, and I was confident enough to say so. I felt brave in (what felt like) throwing away a “great thing” because I knew in my heart it would be months down the road before I would admit it as a mistake, and even longer before one of us did something about it. Walking away from a wrong fit asap is my new brave.” — Nicole Flaig
Nicole — you are so. On. Point! In one of our recent blogs, CMB CEO Dawoon Kang said, “We end up wasting a ton of time on the wrong people because we don’t know what we want.” It’s not uncommon that our dates look amazing on paper (especially to someone else, like a family member or a friend), but that we just might not feel a “spark,” or in your case, share the same values. By being honest with yourself and confidently voicing your feelings, you may have saved both of you time and heartbreak. We can’t wait to see where your next dates take you ?!
4. I am…more than enough.
Los Angeles, CA
“I started to have feelings for the person that I met through the CMB app. It was our third date when I told the person how I truly felt. I told him, “I appreciate having you in my life, and I enjoy spending time with you.” It was my first time when I truly expressed my feelings and was not afraid to honestly express myself.
I was proud that I was honest with him, although he didn’t feel the same way. The relationship didn’t work out at the end, but I learned that being honest with yourself and with others is the key to true happiness.” — Dahae Hwang
Dahae — it sounds like you’re in on the secret ?! While there isn’t really a blueprint to “true happiness” because it can mean different things to different people, honesty is a safe starting point. How can you be happy if you don’t feel like you can’t share the true you *and* all the real feels that come with? Keep shining, Dahae.
5. I am…reinventing myself.
Los Angeles, CA
“A guy I had been getting to know ghosted me. He was a couple years younger than me and I could surmise that he was really for someone under 40, particularly someone younger than him. But, oddly, he would do things to foster intimacy like ask if we could pray together at the end of phone calls. Despite this, he disappeared after asking me out on a second date.
I had never been ghosted but had been warned that this was always a possibility with online dating. I told him that I noticed he was ghosting me and that this was part of the online dating culture. However, as Christians, we didn’t have to comply with trends and could honor each other and the time we spent.
It’s not always a match, and I understand that. We went our separate ways and I was proud that I could communicate that we were both grown up enough to acknowledge that I wasn’t ‘his person’ and he wasn’t `mine’.” — Chanté McMormick
We love that not only did you talk to him about ghosting you, but that you openly recognized that ghosting “was part of the online dating culture,” and that you two “could [still] honor each other and the time spent.” This is so well put! Even if your date doesn’t feel like “your forever person,” you can still treat them with kindness and respect. Who knows — you might even make a long-term friend or learn something new about yourself! Communicating how you feel, however you feel, is the first step in breaking down these dating conventions. And it sounds like you’re already on your way ?
Ready to share your own story for Women’s History Month?
Follow these steps:
- Upload your own fab photo of yourself to Instagram.
- In the caption, use #DaretoShare to tell us about a time you felt brave on a date, in a relationship, or in your romantic life.
- Feel free to also include a self love affirmation using our profile starter, “I am… .”
- Tag @CoffeeMeetsBagel
We just might feature you on our own Instagram! Either way, we think you’re awesome for sharing your unique story. You’ll be helping to inspire women around the world by showing them that talking openly about feelings, dating, and relationships is actually brave AF.