If you’re an introvert, you can relate to this situation: You’re on a date with a girl you’re interested in, but you end up sitting there and not saying anything.
Once you finally break out of your shell, the date is over and she has already made up her mind about you. If I had a dollar for every time I did this, I would be very rich.
As introverts, we know our strengths. We are great listeners, we know how to connect with people 1 on 1, on a deep level, and we spend a lot of time thinking about… everything.
However, we aren’t the best at getting out of our heads and into the present moment to talk with other people. We miss out on opportunities to meet new dates, or we feel like we didn’t make the best impression on someone.
Today I want to share with you how I get out of my head and into a more talkative mood. I am offering a free checklist that you can go through before you go out.
Free Download: Download The Daily Practice I go through to help me get out of my introverted shell and connect with people and experience more opportunities. Going out and meeting people isn’t the first thing we think about as introverts.
It’s not that we don’t like talking to people, but we have to be in the right mood to get out of our heads. But, getting out of your head is the first step when it comes to getting into control of your dating life.
Because let’s face it, we want control of who we meet. If we are on a date we want to give our best first impression. Being ready to open up and connect with someone leads to more fun and more experiences. Who doesn’t want that?
Get out of your head with The Daily Practice
After years of practice and learning how to talk to people, I learned that even as someone who is typically in my head, I can prepare for to talk to people without having much effort. I came up with a daily practice that helped me get out of my head and have awesome conversations with people I just met. Here’s what your brain looks like before and after The Daily Practice Some of you are already putting this method into practice and have shared some of your results.
The Daily Practice
Mentally Prepare to Meet People
When I am going out to meet someone I prepare for it in my head. It’s easy for me to stay in my head all day, especially if I am at home writing. Before I leave my house, I will say to myself “I am ready to go out and talk to people.” This way, I signal to my brain that it’s time to switch gears from introverted more to slightly more talkative introverted mode.
Warm up for a social situations
Let’s say you’re going on a date tonight. Take some time to prep yourself by talking to other people prior to the date.
- Go to a coffee shop or grocery store and talk with the employee and take the conversation one step past “Hey how are you?” This way you are challenging your self to get outside of your comfort zone in a low pressure environment and still allow for practice.
- You could give the barista a genuine compliment, or ask them “What has been the best part of your day so far?”
- Call a friend and have a quick conversation with them.
The best mentality for meeting new people
When I go out to meet new people, I have one goal. Have fun. This takes all of the pressure off and allows whoever I am talking with to have fun too. If you are going to a party and meeting new people, focus on having fun and leaving people better than you found them.This means joke with them, find out what they are most excited about in life, or what their biggest goals are in life. If it’s a first date — don’t worry about finding out if you are meant to be together forever, or if you have a deep connection. Focus on having a good time and what they are excited about in life. The connection will develop organically from there.
Journal about your experiences
Journaling is the best way to keep track of your progress. When you practice the Daily Challenge, come home and reflect on your experience. Write down what you said, how you felt, how they responded, and how you can improve next time. Over time you will see how much progress you have made. All of us want instant success without trying. We get impatient when it doesn’t happen overnight. Journaling helps keeps our progress in perspective and shows that we have made significant progress even in a small amount of time.
The compound interest effect and how it applies to meeting new people
When you aim to get 1% better each day, you will become exponentially better over time. Just like compound interest. This happens because when we develop our social skills, talking to people becomes much more natural and we don’t have to spend so much effort getting out of our heads.
Aim to get outside of your comfort zone one time each day. This might be as simple as smiling at someone as you pass them by on the street, or having a deep conversation with someone you just met at a party.
Once you put these skills into practice you will find that you aren’t stuck in your head thinking of what to to say. Walking up to someone you are interested in feels natural, and you will feel confident and excited to meet them.
Next steps for you: Download The Daily Practice and look at it everyday on your phone or computer and put it into practice. I’ve included other helpful links about talking to people, getting past mental barriers in the guide as well.