(This post was originally published in January 2014 and is back by popular demand!)

No other time of year is as difficult to be single as on Valentine’s Day. My inbox is flooded with emails on creative date spots, unique gifts, and best restaurants and I am constantly reminded of how I, as a single person, can’t partake in these activities. As for the rest of the 364 days of the year, I have to listen to this nonsense!
Share this post with your attached friends, who keep giving you useless, albeit well-intentioned, dating advice.

10 things singles like me HATE to hear:

1. “You are so good looking and so smart. How are you still single?”

That’s just adding insult upon injury. Despite the fact that I am good looking and smart, I am still single! Thank you for reminding me of that.
2. “You are too picky! If you just lowered the bar, you’d be in a relationship.”

I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that wanting my date to have a job AND a sense of humor was setting the bar too high. Which one do you recommend I give up on?
3. “You need to get out there more!”

Let’s see: I have a profile on Coffee Meets Bagel, Match, Tinder, OKCupid and a dozen other online dating sites. I chat strangers up at the gym and the grocery store. I have my friends set me up on blind dates.  I go out on Friday & Saturday nights. What else do you want me to do?

4. “So, when are YOU getting married?” (Usually asked at a younger sibling’s or cousin’s wedding)

Well, looks like today isn’t MY day. But when it does happen, I promise to send you a save-the-date at least 6 months in advance.

5. “It will happen when you least expect it.”

Really? It sounds like something I read in a fortune cookie. Nothing has changed whether I expected or not. I’ve been “least expecting it” for like the past 12 months.

6. “Use this time to work on yourself.”

I go to the gym. I get plenty of sleep. I eat organic, vegan & gluten free.  I have hiked Machu Picchu and Kilimanjaro. I have learned 3 new languages in the past year. I’ve taken cooking classes. What else do I need to work on?

7. “I envy you. I wish I was still single.”

No, you don’t. You say that once a year when at someone’s bachelor/bachelorette party, you feel guilty about getting drunk and leaving your significant other at home. Every other night, you love that you have someone to cook a meal with, drag to a terrible movie, go on long strolls in the park or pretty much anything else that single people have to do alone.

8. “It’s his/her loss.”

Actually it isn’t. He/she was really good looking, smart, funny, interesting, considerate and engaging. So it’s really my loss.

9. “You just have to hope and be optimistic.”

What does that even mean? Sounds more like some campaign slogan than dating advice.

10. “He/she is out there for you. You just have to look harder.”

Sounds like I gotta go on a “needle in the haystack” finding mission. Also, see #3 above. I have pretty much turned every haystack upside down looking for this needle.

 

If you liked this post, you might enjoy 4 Funniest Dating Vines of 2014.

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About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB  is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.