I’m a guy who’s been on Coffee Meets Bagel for several months now since February 2014. I’ve seen a myriad of profiles from the sparse, to the detailed, to the confusing. The profile is the only thing that motivates a guy from clicking “Like” vs. “Pass”. I could get all psychological on you and discuss how a sparse profile could translate to a girl who is not willing to put forth the ample amount of time, effort, and energy in a relationship and how it might be symptomatic of a deeper issue at hand — but not today.
Ladies, please do not commit these dating profile faux-paus. This is a non-comprehensive list and I have seen all of these in my time using Coffee Meets Bagel.
Having all four pics the same
It shows us that you REALLY don’t care. It could also show us that you’re really technologically impaired. PASS!
Only having one photo
It shows us that you don’t care. We also have no idea what else you’re into. Are you into hiking? Do you like frequenting coffee shops? Do you like DIY projects? We don’t know if we don’t see more than a one-dimensional profile. PASS!
Using only #selfies
All from the same angle, but different pics with different outfits in front of the same shower curtain backdrop. Might indicate slightly narcissistic personality tendencies. Eww, mirror selfies. You also use the same smile in all the pics or worse yet, the dreaded duck face. PASS!
Having your default pic with your best friend
Sometimes we like what we see and thumb through the rest of the pics to discover that based on attraction alone, we were more attracted to your best friend. Your default pic should be you only. PASS!
Having all group photos with only girls
We won’t know which one is you. PASS!
Having all your pics from da club!
Most of us won’t be able to keep up with that lifestyle pace. You’re also probably an expensive date that wants to get bottle service but gets trashed after two vodka shots leaving us to carry your drunk self out of the place while you complain about how your feet hurt.PASS!
Having pics with guys
Is it your brother? your cousin? your best friend? your best gay friend? PASS!
Having a pic with a baby
While it’s nice to see that you love kids, if you don’t specify that this is your niece/nephew, it sends the wrong message in a very big way. I’d love to assume its your niece or nephew, but I’d hate to try and ask you out only to discover that you have to be home by 8pm, because that’s how long you could get your babysitter for. PASS!
Showing too much up there or down there
If your pic has you sitting in a limo, I know you’re in Vegas and if you were unfortunate enough to choose a pic where your thong is showing, I want no part in that. The more obvious profile flaw is showing wayy too much cleavage. Have some respect. If you’re ‘gifted’ you don’t need to show cleavage for a guy to figure it out. And secondly, physical beauty and youth doesn’t last forever. A good profile picture doesn’t give us a front row perspective down your shirt. If you’re a woman of great emotional depth and intellect, there is no need for putting your assets on display. PASS!
Not writing anything about yourself – leaving it all blank.
I am … N/A
I am interested in …N/A
I appreciate when my date … N/A
… you get the idea. We have no idea what you’re about, but we do know a few things. 1) You’re probably not that wild about the idea of online dating so you created a profile because you were pressured by a good friend and put absolutely zero effort into it. 2) Your friend grabbed your phone from you and set it up for you against your will while you moaned and complained. Online dating is a type of self-investment, you only get out of it what you put in measured in effort. 3) You got distracted while filling it out and never went back to make changes (you can do that, BTW) and are wondering why you can’t get anyone to click “Like”.
What other obvious problems have you seen with dating profiles?