How does your state influence who you date? Are you open to dating someone from a different state? Have you, and what did you learn?
Growing up as a Texas girl, it’s not uncommon to stumble upon childhood pictures squinting in fields of bluebonnets in old laminated photo albums, mums the size of your body at high school homecoming, and fond memories taking road trips to the grand spectacle of seaweed and salty seafoam that is the Gulf Coast. There’s also, of course, the ever-obnoxious (or -amazing, depending on where you’re from) Texas pride. I have to admit that I always thought I’d end up with a Texas guy, but in this past period of dating I’ve realized the sight of such a mindset is quite closed and limiting.
How open are you to getting to know people that grew up in a different state or country? Or do you prefer to date someone someone from a similar environment or even the same city?
Regardless of if you live in your hometown or elsewhere now, we all have memories and emotional experiences in locations we spent time in that shape who we are in our relationships. This isn’t to undermine the impact that location has on a person, but it’s foolish to think that the location of where someone grew up or is from (or insert single desired quality here) is a catch-all for a person. There are so many facets to our personalities and who we are.
There’s definitely something to be said about personality being shaped by environment. Getting to know someone from an entirely different environment is fascinating and quite a feat in itself – new cultures and childhood traditions to share and discuss, everything from seasons to the freshness and appreciation of the different. On the other hand, there’s something about shared experiences based on location that are relatable and familiar- like almost losing your disposable camera while tubing on the Guadalupe River (good thing you bought the one that floats) or making the trek out to rural Texas every Thanksgiving for the family reunion where you admire the ranch. (For those outside of Texas, insert relatable, local-specific sentiment here.) It may even be loving the same sports teams (tied to location), a local beach for summer getaways (tied to location), or even the kind of nature that is specific to where you are. (What’s it like to have real snow, Northerners? What kinds of dates are best for those with humid weather year-round?)
As much as location cannot make a person, in a lot of ways, where you grow up influences who you are and where you choose to live shows people a little bit about your preferred lifestyle. If anything, the environment of where you grew up can serve as testing waters that lead to today’s character.
This is all to say: appreciate where you’re from, because that in part led you to who you are today, contributes to the character that you share with people, and is the background and foundation to the person you’d like to be. Let’s all appreciate this in each other, shall we?
If you’re single— Do you treasure the memories (good and bad) from where you grew up because they’re a part of you and thus worth sharing? Are you open to dating someone that didn’t grow up where you did, and would you be open to learning what their state or country is like? What have you noticed about dating in different cities?
If you’re dating or married–Did your significant other grow up in the same state or even city as you, and do you share some of the same experiences growing up? If you grew up in separate, different places, what do you like and dislike about each other’s cities? Where do you live now – your city, your spouse’s city, or an entirely new place, loved by both? Why did you choose that particular location?
I’ve got friends that couldn’t wait to leave Texas, some whose identity is largely influenced by Texas, some who love the pull of a specific country or city, and a great myriad of the in-between. How relationships vary based on location is fascinating!
Is there a world outside of the space where you live? Definitely. Would someone from a different background be curious about how you were shaped by yours? Perhaps. Is it worth finding out? Sure.
What about your location do you love?
If you liked these questions, check out How to Give Yourself a Pep Talk or How to Stay Grounded When Online Dating.
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.