CMB Men's Series: How to Score a 2nd Date
CMB Men’s Series is original content dedicated to (confused) men and dating in the city.
Guys typically know within 30 seconds of meeting a girl whether she is compatible and has long term potential. However, just because it’s easy for us to recognize potential, it doesn’t mean that it’s easy to convince the date that we’re worth their time.
Here are 4 essential steps to take on a first date that will help you land a 2nd.
1. Plan the Proper First Date
Choose somewhere you are familiar with, a place where you may know the owners or the best dishes to order. The goal of the first date is to get to know each other, so let her see you in your most comfortable environment.
Less is more! No need for pre-dinner drinks, dinner, post-dinner drinks, Broadway Show..etc. She’s not getting a realistic perception of you if you put on a production. And guess what? If you continue to see each other, she will continue to keep expectations high.
Keep it simple. 82% of women polled in CMB’s survey said that they typically go to a coffee shop or bar on a first date. Dating on a budget in NYC? Click here for our hand picked pocket friendly date ideas that will still impress your lady.
Keep a 3 hour time limit. The success of a date doesn’t depend on duration. Having a time pressure will motivate you to get to know your date within that time period, and may leave her wanting more.
Video courtesy of Ms. Singlefied. Visit her at singlefied.com or @singlefiedyue.
2. Ask Her Questions
Obvious fact of the day: women like to talk. Studies have shown that women communicate more verbally then men. So naturally it’s easy to let the conversation become one-sided, but don’t let it turn into an interrogation where she’s peppering you with questions. Take the lead and engage her with questions that show your genuine interest in who she is, where she comes from, and what her values are.
3. Pick Up the Tab
Splitting the bill, or going ‘Dutch’, might make sense to some. You hardly know each other, the economy stinks, and she has a job. But sorry guys, if you don’t make an effort to pick up the tab, there may not be a 2nd date. Want proof?
CMB’s survey showed that 87%! of women either feel they should never pay on a first date or secretly hope the guy would pay the full bill. Chivalry, and more importantly the expectation of chivalry, is very much still alive.
4. Forget the 2 day/ 3 day/ 1 week rules
There are numerous rules that guys follow for when to contact the girl after the first date. We’ve heard anywhere from 2 days to a week. However, CMB’s survey showed that most women would touch base the day after the date if it went well (assuming they would initiate). Therefore, you will not come across as a lonely desperate stalker if you contact her the following day. Keep in mind that 1 out of 3 women said they would never follow up with a date after the first date. Moral of the story – if you want to see her again, don’t wait until Christmas to tell her.