It’s got to be one of the worst feelings in the world. You’re excited for your date, you’ve listened to your ‘pump up’ playlist (which better include a combination of The Darkness, Marvin Gaye, and Queen) and used far too many spritzes of cologne to be healthy for your lungs. It’s game time.
Then you arrive to a date that seems like more of an interview than anything else, by virtue of trading “How about yous” and jumping from topic to topic in a vain attempt to find something shallow to connect on. Of course, this whole endeavor ends with you going home alone to Netflix. What in Jiminy Cricket happened and how can you prevent such a bad experience in the future? Here are 3 easy steps to ensure that your dates never turn out like interviews.
- Catalog your stories.
Even the mundane ones. Look, you know that you’re going to be asked about your weekend, your hobbies, your job, your career, your education, your pets… so make sure you have more than a one word answer about them. Have 1-2 stories on hand about each question so that you can create a conversation relatively organically. It’s just good practice for connecting with people beyond a surface level. How was your weekend? Good, how about you? How was your weekend? Amazing, I went whitewater rafting for the first time and wiped out like a champ! Ah, much better.
- No dinner dates. NO.DINNER. DATES. I could go on a whole rant about this, but dinner dates aren’t organic, don’t allow for flirting, separate you physically, lock you in for a set amount of time, force you to stare at each other, and creates pressure to have constant conversation and banter.
Make an activity the star of the date – it’s a far more organic and natural way of conversing. Everything that the dinner date doesn’t allow, an activity allows: flirtation, touching, physical closeness, and all the good stuff. You can even just take a walk! As it happens, all of a woman’s sexual characteristics and goodies are on display and showcased when she walks… so she’ll like it, and so will you.
- Break the touch barrier.
Just do it. I know it’s uncomfortable at first, but going through the first date like a male nun is going to be a big blow to your chances. There’s no smooth method you’re going to magically discover where you don’t feel like you’re putting yourself out there. At some point, you’re going to have to come clean with your sexual intentions, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Keep in mind that a woman will love the exact same actions from a guy that she is attracted to, while disliking them from a guy she is attracted to. You’re already on a date with her and pre-selected, so chances are…
Read more from Patrick at Patrick King Consulting, and check out his best-selling CMB-focused online dating book on Amazon.
Read on for 4 more ways to plan an amazing date she can’t wait to tell her friends about.
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.