8 Ways Dating Is Like Starting Your Own Business
If you’ve ever attempted to freelance or start a small business, then you know that only one person is responsible for your successes and/or your failures – you. There are certain things that you need to do. You need to dress well – not that Armani suit, but you should be presentable. You should be able to converse on a variety of topics without appearing to have ADHD. You should also be yourself.
1) You need to be a bit shameless about self promotion.
Put yourself out there. You can’t get a date if you don’t talk to people. Don’t count of referrals or your friends to introduce you to amazing people. I’m not saying to throw yourself in front of every pair of legs or every handsome face, but at least make an effort. To make a solid effort you’ll need to…
2) Distance yourself from the pack.
Separate yourself from the rest of the general population. Why are you the best things since sliced bread? Why are you different than the guy that’s been trying to hit on every girl that walks up to the bar? You’ll need to put your uniqueness on display a little bit. If you’re good with your words, use them. If you can make non-creeper eye contact, do that.
3) Marketing
Do you have skills? What are your interests? Have more going on for you than good looks, spartan abs, and a salary. Sure, sparks can fly early on, but I’m pretty sure you can’t sustain that kind of emotional intensity in the long run. Have intangibles that let the other person you’re seeing see that there’s long-term potential here. Speaking of long term…
4) Have vision.
You need a business plan. You need a mission statement and this ties into legacy. You need purpose. You can date for the hell of it, or you can be in it to win it. I’m not suggesting you propose to her after three dates and I’m not suggesting you talk to him about baby names after four or five dates. I’m saying this mostly so that you can crystalize for yourself what your motivations are for dating. Be prepared, because…
5) You will be rejected often, get used to it.
You may be awesome, but it won’t stop people from not giving you an opportunity for you to put your awesomeness on display. That’s their problem, not yours. Be secure in who you are and what you have to offer. Know that they who just outright rejected you never gave you a chance and have missed out. So what if no one has clicked ‘Like’ for you in a month? You wouldn’t be moping around because some company won’t grant you an interview, right? You just move on to the next one. And…
6) You will fail often, get used to it.
You will get opportunities. It looks good at the beginning. The two of you click, finish each other’s sentences, and share many common interests and activities. Things couldn’t be going any better for the both of you. But over time, things start to dip and the happiness you used to share is no longer happiness. It could even happen suddenly. Things are going swimmingly and in a moments notice it all comes crashing down like the floor beneath your feet. What happened? You never saw the breakup coming. You were blindsided. It happens to the best of us. No one ever went very far in life in any pursuit without failing. It’s about bouncing back and recovering from the experience. Instead of sulking in misery over your failure, just know that…
7) You won’t be wildly successful right away.
Much like #5 and #6, the first person you go out with is probably not going to be the one you attach yourself to and walk down the aisle with. It will take time, not months, but years. If you’re in it to win it, it means you’re willing to accept the wait. Great friendships don’t happen overnight and neither do great romantic relationships that lead to marriage. If you’re doing dating and online dating right, it’s really hard work to get there and you need to keep doing the hard work to stay there. Every so often you need to step back and conduct a…
8) Performance Review.
I’m not suggesting you audio record your dates and analyze the audio and wear a lapel cam so you can analyze her body language with what you say to her, but you need to objectively evaluate how you’re doing with the various types of women you’re going out with. Do you notice trends? Is there a pattern with the kind of women you’re going out with and is the outcome of all those dates unbelievably predictable? Be in the moment and be aware of what he/she does in response to what you say and do. Be objective and not overly critical of yourself! The right person will like you for you!
About Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB): CMB is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. It’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.
